Nice Vs Mean
There are times when you should just shut up. And therea are times when you should speak out. Is this such a time? Not a clue. But I'm going to because that way I've said my piece and I can go back to having fun. And because this is something that's been bothering me for a while. I may well get slammed for this on several quarters, I may even get fandom_wanked (though I hope not, dear god I hope not...) but I do want to say some stuff here because I've been mulling this over and... yeah. I wanna say stuff.
So quick warning, whithin this post may be Wank, or it may be a well thought out, reasonable argument. I don't know. I'm aiming for the latter but, to be honest, I've never been too sure what is construed as Wank and what is construed as reasonable argument. If it IS wank, then I apologise and hope you can forgive me. But anyway... onwards...
On The Cults of Nice Vs Mean, on Fandom_Wank and on Fandom in general.
So here's the question; is it better to be nice and dishonest or nasty and honest? Is it better to stay silent or to stand up for your beliefs? Is it right that you should keep your opinions silent (for they are only opinions and not all opinions are good opinions?) or should you broardcast them out to the sky?
This is an issue which, in various forms, has been discussed a lot in fandom. Most recentally it came into light in Fandom_Wank, in ThereGoesMyMum's LJ and in Atanie's LJ. It's not neccesaraly an easy issue, nor is it a simple one but it's one that has been bothering me. Not least because, and not for the first time, I am perhaps more on the side of the so called Wanker than on Fandom_Wank.
Now, let's get something streight. I don't like Fandom_wank. I find it unpleasent and full of bullying. I do see why it serves a purpose and I am not arguing that it shouldn't exist, that it's members are all evil or that it is in and of itself evil or anything like that. I am just saying that I don't like it. So if this little post leans away from points of view of the Fandom Wankers I apologise.
I should also say that this does not mean I dislike all those who post in/read/are a part of Fandom Wank. That would discount a fair bunch of my friends list who I appreciate a lot. A lot of people in Fandom Wank are intilgent, decent and highly pleasent people generally. I mean no offence to them. In the same way (if you'll forgive the gentle side swipe) that I do not like chan fic, but would not condem all those who read/write it. Indeed, a I would ask them to consider this post, but not (neccesaraly) to agree with it. This is my own views on the subject, that is all.
To get back onto the issue, a lot of this little debate comes from this entry here...
http://www.livejournal.com/users/ataniell93/613242.html
It also comes from ThereGoesMyMum's LJ (which has been deleted for NON fandom reasons, but when it comes up I shall supply a link.
And then Fandom Wank also has got a hold of it... (Here's yet ANOTHER link)http://www.journalfen.net/community/fandom_wank/864790.html
From what I can gather (and if people wish to correct me in this I shall be very glad,) it all boils down to two arguments...
Honesty: If someone is being an ass we have the right to say so. We arn't neccesaraly being nasty for nasty sake, it's just to keep people in line. And sometimes people take what we say FAR too seriously. It's a joke, man!
Nice: No one has the right to be nasty to comeone or pick at them just because they have a different opinion or because they are being passionate about something. We are passionate about things because we care for things and caring is a postive thing, surely? Also, no one has the right to insult us and bully us because of our beliefs, certainly not in our own Journals and calling someone a 'cat fucker' is never funny.
Now... a lot of this origional argument seems to stem from theregoesmymum's lj which is, to say the least, somewhat... flavoursome.
In her defence let me say this... part of hte basic problem and reason why this started is that theregoesmymum is very... individual in her writing. She uses very strong language and a very distinctive and difficult style. She calls herself a cat fucker, so her calling it other people is probably not as insulting as it sounds. Perosnally I don't like this style much, I find it hard to read, but I understand that it's actualy not half as agressive as it often soundsl. The thing is... I sorta know her (in as much as I can) and I can take a fair guess about when she's being friendly and when she's not, when she's serious and when she's joking. Other's... not so much.
And one thing I do agree with is that, at the end of the day, the meaning of the term means more than the term itself. Words have hte power we give them. Gun is cool in that she is fairly easy going with meanings, others less so. Some can scream "CUNT"' at the top of their voices and not be bothered. Other people hate it and would yell at anyone for using it. Gun is in the former group.
To be fair, those she has offended she apologised to and as far as I'm concerned? That's very cool of her and just the right thing to do. The Internet is difficult because we can't tell things like inflection and, thus, meaning. We cannot guess from body langauge what people are trying to convay so, in a world that is frought with misunderstanding as it is, the internet is a mine field.
So I think that, in many ways, Gun is pretty darn cool.
On the other hand I do dissagree with her on several issues.
I also didn't like the Malfoy Poll, I thought it was insulting to poeple who genuinly like the characters and who can understand their point of view. (And just because you understand a point of view in no way means you agree with it. I undertand the Nazi point of view, I don't in any way agree with it, but I do understand it.)
By the same merit I also dissagree with the concept that the idea that not everyone is entitled to an opinion. Now I'm not sure 'entitled' is the right word, but I think that, just because one holds a certain opinion does not mean that they deserve death, or brutality or even such amounts of verbal/written toture as they often recieve.
At this point, if Gun was here, she would probably use racists, or homophobes or highly sexist poeple. Are their opinions right? Are they entitled to their predjudices?
Yes... in a way they are. I do not hold that they should not be talked out of them, I do not suggest that these opinions are, in any way, right. But I DO say that bullying and violence is NOT the way to deal with them.
I hold three reasons for this.
1: Opinions can change! Just because a person is races at the start of their life does not mean they will continue to be so. In fact, it may be the case that someone who started out as a racist jerk can tern into a champion for raciel equality because They know exactly where the other racists are coming from! And coming from that...
2: I think it is often true that violence creates violence and that unreason creates unreason. If you are unreasonable to a person they are likely to be unreasonable back. Likewise, if you are reasonable to someone, you are more liekly to be answered with reason. Simply hating, ignoring at, or laughing at, racist/sexist/whatever will only take you so far, reason will probably do more. To take another example, let's say I meet a 12 year old boy who says something akin to... 'Fucking immagrints, should go home...' Is it better to a) Beat him into a bloody pulp, spit on him then walk on down the street. Or b) turn to him and say, 'actually most people are immagrints in some way. You've got black hair, that means that your family was origionally roman or something. But why do you feel like that anyway? They're just people and they have it just as hard as you, in many cases...' And try to reason it out with him. Maybe it'll make him think at least. A beating... well, would you beat up a five year old for stealing a cookie?
3: Thought does not equal act. There have been times when I have, in great detail, fantasies about killing someone. I would never, ever EVER do it. There are people who do not like blacks/gays/whatever. Whilst this is regrettable and sad and even a little wrong, it does not equate to murder. A person can be held acountable for their actions, but not their thoughts. If you think other wise then consider your own thoughts. Consider your own actions. I know I cannot condemn all predjudice without question because I am myself awear that I harber predjudice. In my case I have problems with mentally disabled people. I don't hate them, I don't want to hurt them, but I do find it very hard to get on with them and tend to avoid them. This is something I am ashamed of, soemthing I try to overcome, but it is also something I am keenly awear of. By a similar facet, I am also slightly races/sexist/homophobic in that I NOTICE race/sex/sexuality. I hope I don't react badly or differently but I do take note mentally. This isn't something in born, I don't take much note of the colour of someone's hair or eyes (unless it is spectacually outragous). But I do take notice of the colour of someones skin because it is part of my upbringing to do so. WE take note of sexuality when, really, it shouldn't matter. We take note of skin ton when, really, it should not matter. We take note of sex when, really, it should not matter (Ok, if you're planning on shagging them then maybe, but aside from that...)
Yeah, there's a big difference between taking note and disliking. But there's also a difference in disliking and actively going out and hurting someone. I would not argue against the idea that someone who goes out and hurts someone over their race/sexuality/whatever is OK. They have hurt someone, regarless of the reasons there should be a consequence. (The manner of which is an ENTIRELY differnet issue I don't wanna touch on right now.) I even think that these people do, to an extent, have the right to voice their opinions. If people don't voice opinions how can things be argued? Better that a racist should speak out and be argued down (hopefully) than he whiper quietly to others of his ilk and cause trouble without anyone noticing.
There's a fourch reason as well why I think the 'not everyone has the right to an opinion' arguement doen't hold water with me. And that is as follows... how does one KNOW what opinions someone doesn't have a right to?
Well?
OF course, all this isn't absolute. There are cases in which people cannot or will not change their opinions, there are those will not respond to reason, there are those for whom thought is as bad as, or might lead directly to, action. Hell, there are opinions almost any reasonable person would say is disgusting and wrong. BUT to hold abolutes that 'not everyone is guranteed to an opinion,' is rocky ground, IMO.
Does that mean I entirely agree with the cult of Nice? No... no it doesn't.
I do think that Fandom_wank takes things far too far sometimes. I do think that it does encourage sheepism and fear and lack of opinion sharing.
Indeed, the thing a hate most about Fandom_wank is that supresses individual thought, that it sometimes stops people from putting opinions or musings up. If everyone was afraid of 'wanking' then no one would write ANYTHING. And I do wonder what the diffence between honest speculation and 'wanking' is. Some poeple do seem to care about a fandom too much, yes. But there are surely worse crimes in the world.
Having said this, this doesn't mean that I honestly think it's wrong to dissagree with people. Heck, I think dissagreement can be a good thing. But I don't like the way Fandom_Wank does it often. It claims to exist to bring down those too full of themselves. Which is fine (and one of the few reasons for its existence I actually cannot argue with and actually approve of. Fair enough.) And to mock those who 'wank' which seems to be 'have wierd and/or stupid opinions.' AGain, how do you know an opinion is wierd and/or stupid until you consider it in a reasonable manner? IF you laugh at all those with a wierd/stupid opinion then sure, you get rid of those who do wank, but you can also prevent people who are honestlyu thoughtful from stepping out. And yes, some people take Fandom far too seriously, but there are different ways of dealing with that. And it's not easy to distinguish between 'taking seriously' and 'taking far TOO seriously.' Pondering whether Vash is an Alcoholic? Whether Remus likes men or women? Is that wrong in and of itself? No... it's reasonable. Yelling that YOURS is the ONLY opinion, that is silly, but otherwise...
If you do see something you consider absurd, don't mock it, argue it. In my experience true butt wipes, true nasty people tend to get OFF on attention. So laughing at them and hating them won't do any good. Let's take an example. Gun used this a while ago... take someone who honestly thinks that Bellatrix Le Strange is a good and decent femail roll model. Don't just call that person a 'cat fucker' or whatever... go to their LJ and talk to them. Here's what *I*'d do...
1: Talk to them about their opinions, argue civily with them... see their point of view. Frojm here one of two things will happen...
a) They will prove themselves to be reasonable. In which case either you will I) agree with them II) they will agree with you or (more likely) III) You will both see the different sides in each others argument and agree to dissagree, coming way more thoughtful and with a different view of the character/issue.
b) They will say somehting like Fuck off U DIck I am Write so THERE!!!11111 or generally argue in an unreasonable and stupid manner at which point go to part 2 which says...
2: Walk away and get on with your own life. Because at the end of the day there are far more creative and useful things to do in a fandom than be mock others. Show your own talent/reasoning abilities rather than simply mocking their lack in others. Sure, the stupid people will continue to exist. Sure, they may even gather others to their cause. But these people rarely do any harm, they will be happy who knows what may come of it. Unelss they are activly harrassing others then is any action really needed?
So that's my opinion on the nice vs nasty issue. Hope it wasn't too wanky. For the record it's very late at night now and no doubt it lost coherencey.
In summery, if summery is needed... I shall say this.
1: Chill. Try not to take everything too seriously, but also respect the fact that others DO take things seriously.
2) Be patient of other peoples opinions, even if you do not agree with them and remember that reason works better than violence or cruelty.
3) Take every word of this with a pinch of salt. I will.
Last but not least, It'd like to bind this all together will a little link my friend Scribber said. Forget the nice/mean manifesto, this is what I think I'll be livin' by...The Fan/Fandom Creed.
The Fan/Fandom Creed.
I. I acknowledge that fandom can, has, and will exist without me. I am not important. What I can do, someone else could easily take over. Even if the fandom is tiny, there are probably many more fans of whom I simply have not heard that write/draw/dream things that could blow my mind. Fandom would not fall apart without me.
II. I acknowledge that no matter what I've contributed to it, the fandom owes me absolutely nothing. I will not look for fame, nor will I expect a certain type of treatment from anyone else in the fandom. If people respect me, let them; if people dislike me, let them. I certainly will not threaten to leave and expect anyone to care.
III. I acknowledge that no matter what sort of "credentials" I have in the real world, in fandom, I am merely just another "fan." I might be a published author, a famous artist, or hell, Brad Pitt, but in fandom, if I am not the creator of the canon material, I am merely a follower and I will remember that.
IV. I acknowledge that fandom is a thing created and kept alive by more than one person. People will disagree with me; I will disagree with people. Although I reserve the right to leave the premises or disagree/rant/make snide comments in relative private, I will never flame someone publically or personally for their opinions. If there is discussion in public, it will be civil and I will keep the peace.
V. I acknowledge that there will always be parts of fandom that I dislike; I also acknowledge that there will always be parts of fandom that dislike me; these parts, I will ignore. There will always be people who will never see things my way, no matter what anyone says or does, and there will always be people who keep producing works with which I completely disagree. Again, although I reserve the right to leave the premises or disagree/rant/make snide comments in relative private, I will make no move to actually stop them. They have the right to imagine their versions of characters, just as I have the right to imagine mine.
VI. I acknowledge that, just as fandom owes me nothing, neither do other fans. It doesn't matter who I am; just because I created a community or many people agree with my portrayal of Character A does not give me rights to anything in the fandom. If I receive praise, I will always remember that it is given freely, not due; if I receive criticism, I will take it and remember that criticism, too, is freely given. Regardless of which it is, I will always feel thankful for the time.
VII. I acknowledge that fandom is fandom and how certain people act/how certain people's tastes run in fandom has no relation to them in real life. Although I reserve the right to like or dislike someone based on their OOC/non-fandom-related comments, I will neither judge nor form opinions about someone as a person purely through fandom. Just as slash writers are not always gay and RPers are not always self-inserts, I acknowledge that the fandom-image I know and the real life-person that I do not may be completely different people.
VIII. I acknowledge that there will be other fans that I dislike personally; I also acknowledge that there will be other fans that dislike me personally; these fans, I will ignore. Again, although I reserve the right to leave the premises or disagree/rant/make snide comments in relative private, I will make no move to actually confront them if they have done no wrong. Being a jerk may have them kicked out of communities and forums, but I will always remember that they have as much right to be in the actual fandom as I do. And I will always remember that I do have that right.
IX. I acknowledge that just as I am in fandom to have fun, other people are in fandom for the exact same reason, and I will remember that. I will never do anything to actively try to stop other people's fun, regardless of how much I may disagree with what they are doing. Clause reserving the right to leave the premises or disagree/rant/make snide comments in relative private still holds here, but I will never tell another fan to stop having fun in whatever way they want to have fun. And I will never pay any attention when someone tells me to stop having fun myself.
X. I acknowledge that just as everyone else is a person, that I am a person, too. No matter what other fans may think of me from what they have seen in fandom, I will never let that persona/image/reputation get in the way of being myself if/when I should communicate with them outside of fandom. If they respect me, I will thank them, and if they dislike me, I will accept it, but these things I will strictly keep in fandom only and will not allow them to interfere with my friendships or real life.
XI. I acknowledge that there are people uninterested in my fandom and I will not press my fandom upon them. I will not speak of certain fandoms to those that have no interest in them, nor will I pressure anyone to look at/read/otherwise be forced to come up with reactions to things that they couldn't care less about. I know that fandoms are very specific things, that being pressured into looking at them is highly uncomfortable, and I will not impose that way upon others.
XII. I acknowledge that, in the end, real life is real life and fandom is only fandom. If fandom begins to affects my real life in negative ways, I will remember that I have the option to simply leave and if it gets bad enough, I will. If I am truly unhappy with a certain fandom or the way a certain fandom is going, I will remember that I have the option of simply creating another community for people who share the same interests as me, or the option of just staying and refusing to go with the flow. I will remember that fandom is a simple trade of time with fun, and that if the fun is not worth the cost, I will remember that I am merely wasting time. Above all else, I will remember that remaining in fandom is an entirely voluntary action.
If you follow this creed, please post it in your journal.
Created by grayout (original link) http://www.livejournal.com/users/grayout/63861.html
Now, that's the kind of creed I can live by...
NOTES: I'm going to edit in some links into this, then I'm calling it good for tonight. It's 4am and this hasn't been spell checked, nor re-read for coherency. Never the less I hope it does not suffer too much for it and I beg of any readers to be forgiving. I am dyslexic and my spelling, when without a spell checker, sucks. Tomorrow if I've time I shall edit this for spelling/grammer/form and coherency. Until then good night!
So quick warning, whithin this post may be Wank, or it may be a well thought out, reasonable argument. I don't know. I'm aiming for the latter but, to be honest, I've never been too sure what is construed as Wank and what is construed as reasonable argument. If it IS wank, then I apologise and hope you can forgive me. But anyway... onwards...
On The Cults of Nice Vs Mean, on Fandom_Wank and on Fandom in general.
So here's the question; is it better to be nice and dishonest or nasty and honest? Is it better to stay silent or to stand up for your beliefs? Is it right that you should keep your opinions silent (for they are only opinions and not all opinions are good opinions?) or should you broardcast them out to the sky?
This is an issue which, in various forms, has been discussed a lot in fandom. Most recentally it came into light in Fandom_Wank, in ThereGoesMyMum's LJ and in Atanie's LJ. It's not neccesaraly an easy issue, nor is it a simple one but it's one that has been bothering me. Not least because, and not for the first time, I am perhaps more on the side of the so called Wanker than on Fandom_Wank.
Now, let's get something streight. I don't like Fandom_wank. I find it unpleasent and full of bullying. I do see why it serves a purpose and I am not arguing that it shouldn't exist, that it's members are all evil or that it is in and of itself evil or anything like that. I am just saying that I don't like it. So if this little post leans away from points of view of the Fandom Wankers I apologise.
I should also say that this does not mean I dislike all those who post in/read/are a part of Fandom Wank. That would discount a fair bunch of my friends list who I appreciate a lot. A lot of people in Fandom Wank are intilgent, decent and highly pleasent people generally. I mean no offence to them. In the same way (if you'll forgive the gentle side swipe) that I do not like chan fic, but would not condem all those who read/write it. Indeed, a I would ask them to consider this post, but not (neccesaraly) to agree with it. This is my own views on the subject, that is all.
To get back onto the issue, a lot of this little debate comes from this entry here...
http://www.livejournal.com/users/ataniell93/613242.html
It also comes from ThereGoesMyMum's LJ (which has been deleted for NON fandom reasons, but when it comes up I shall supply a link.
And then Fandom Wank also has got a hold of it... (Here's yet ANOTHER link)http://www.journalfen.net/community/fandom_wank/864790.html
From what I can gather (and if people wish to correct me in this I shall be very glad,) it all boils down to two arguments...
Honesty: If someone is being an ass we have the right to say so. We arn't neccesaraly being nasty for nasty sake, it's just to keep people in line. And sometimes people take what we say FAR too seriously. It's a joke, man!
Nice: No one has the right to be nasty to comeone or pick at them just because they have a different opinion or because they are being passionate about something. We are passionate about things because we care for things and caring is a postive thing, surely? Also, no one has the right to insult us and bully us because of our beliefs, certainly not in our own Journals and calling someone a 'cat fucker' is never funny.
Now... a lot of this origional argument seems to stem from theregoesmymum's lj which is, to say the least, somewhat... flavoursome.
In her defence let me say this... part of hte basic problem and reason why this started is that theregoesmymum is very... individual in her writing. She uses very strong language and a very distinctive and difficult style. She calls herself a cat fucker, so her calling it other people is probably not as insulting as it sounds. Perosnally I don't like this style much, I find it hard to read, but I understand that it's actualy not half as agressive as it often soundsl. The thing is... I sorta know her (in as much as I can) and I can take a fair guess about when she's being friendly and when she's not, when she's serious and when she's joking. Other's... not so much.
And one thing I do agree with is that, at the end of the day, the meaning of the term means more than the term itself. Words have hte power we give them. Gun is cool in that she is fairly easy going with meanings, others less so. Some can scream "CUNT"' at the top of their voices and not be bothered. Other people hate it and would yell at anyone for using it. Gun is in the former group.
To be fair, those she has offended she apologised to and as far as I'm concerned? That's very cool of her and just the right thing to do. The Internet is difficult because we can't tell things like inflection and, thus, meaning. We cannot guess from body langauge what people are trying to convay so, in a world that is frought with misunderstanding as it is, the internet is a mine field.
So I think that, in many ways, Gun is pretty darn cool.
On the other hand I do dissagree with her on several issues.
I also didn't like the Malfoy Poll, I thought it was insulting to poeple who genuinly like the characters and who can understand their point of view. (And just because you understand a point of view in no way means you agree with it. I undertand the Nazi point of view, I don't in any way agree with it, but I do understand it.)
By the same merit I also dissagree with the concept that the idea that not everyone is entitled to an opinion. Now I'm not sure 'entitled' is the right word, but I think that, just because one holds a certain opinion does not mean that they deserve death, or brutality or even such amounts of verbal/written toture as they often recieve.
At this point, if Gun was here, she would probably use racists, or homophobes or highly sexist poeple. Are their opinions right? Are they entitled to their predjudices?
Yes... in a way they are. I do not hold that they should not be talked out of them, I do not suggest that these opinions are, in any way, right. But I DO say that bullying and violence is NOT the way to deal with them.
I hold three reasons for this.
1: Opinions can change! Just because a person is races at the start of their life does not mean they will continue to be so. In fact, it may be the case that someone who started out as a racist jerk can tern into a champion for raciel equality because They know exactly where the other racists are coming from! And coming from that...
2: I think it is often true that violence creates violence and that unreason creates unreason. If you are unreasonable to a person they are likely to be unreasonable back. Likewise, if you are reasonable to someone, you are more liekly to be answered with reason. Simply hating, ignoring at, or laughing at, racist/sexist/whatever will only take you so far, reason will probably do more. To take another example, let's say I meet a 12 year old boy who says something akin to... 'Fucking immagrints, should go home...' Is it better to a) Beat him into a bloody pulp, spit on him then walk on down the street. Or b) turn to him and say, 'actually most people are immagrints in some way. You've got black hair, that means that your family was origionally roman or something. But why do you feel like that anyway? They're just people and they have it just as hard as you, in many cases...' And try to reason it out with him. Maybe it'll make him think at least. A beating... well, would you beat up a five year old for stealing a cookie?
3: Thought does not equal act. There have been times when I have, in great detail, fantasies about killing someone. I would never, ever EVER do it. There are people who do not like blacks/gays/whatever. Whilst this is regrettable and sad and even a little wrong, it does not equate to murder. A person can be held acountable for their actions, but not their thoughts. If you think other wise then consider your own thoughts. Consider your own actions. I know I cannot condemn all predjudice without question because I am myself awear that I harber predjudice. In my case I have problems with mentally disabled people. I don't hate them, I don't want to hurt them, but I do find it very hard to get on with them and tend to avoid them. This is something I am ashamed of, soemthing I try to overcome, but it is also something I am keenly awear of. By a similar facet, I am also slightly races/sexist/homophobic in that I NOTICE race/sex/sexuality. I hope I don't react badly or differently but I do take note mentally. This isn't something in born, I don't take much note of the colour of someone's hair or eyes (unless it is spectacually outragous). But I do take notice of the colour of someones skin because it is part of my upbringing to do so. WE take note of sexuality when, really, it shouldn't matter. We take note of skin ton when, really, it should not matter. We take note of sex when, really, it should not matter (Ok, if you're planning on shagging them then maybe, but aside from that...)
Yeah, there's a big difference between taking note and disliking. But there's also a difference in disliking and actively going out and hurting someone. I would not argue against the idea that someone who goes out and hurts someone over their race/sexuality/whatever is OK. They have hurt someone, regarless of the reasons there should be a consequence. (The manner of which is an ENTIRELY differnet issue I don't wanna touch on right now.) I even think that these people do, to an extent, have the right to voice their opinions. If people don't voice opinions how can things be argued? Better that a racist should speak out and be argued down (hopefully) than he whiper quietly to others of his ilk and cause trouble without anyone noticing.
There's a fourch reason as well why I think the 'not everyone has the right to an opinion' arguement doen't hold water with me. And that is as follows... how does one KNOW what opinions someone doesn't have a right to?
Well?
OF course, all this isn't absolute. There are cases in which people cannot or will not change their opinions, there are those will not respond to reason, there are those for whom thought is as bad as, or might lead directly to, action. Hell, there are opinions almost any reasonable person would say is disgusting and wrong. BUT to hold abolutes that 'not everyone is guranteed to an opinion,' is rocky ground, IMO.
Does that mean I entirely agree with the cult of Nice? No... no it doesn't.
I do think that Fandom_wank takes things far too far sometimes. I do think that it does encourage sheepism and fear and lack of opinion sharing.
Indeed, the thing a hate most about Fandom_wank is that supresses individual thought, that it sometimes stops people from putting opinions or musings up. If everyone was afraid of 'wanking' then no one would write ANYTHING. And I do wonder what the diffence between honest speculation and 'wanking' is. Some poeple do seem to care about a fandom too much, yes. But there are surely worse crimes in the world.
Having said this, this doesn't mean that I honestly think it's wrong to dissagree with people. Heck, I think dissagreement can be a good thing. But I don't like the way Fandom_Wank does it often. It claims to exist to bring down those too full of themselves. Which is fine (and one of the few reasons for its existence I actually cannot argue with and actually approve of. Fair enough.) And to mock those who 'wank' which seems to be 'have wierd and/or stupid opinions.' AGain, how do you know an opinion is wierd and/or stupid until you consider it in a reasonable manner? IF you laugh at all those with a wierd/stupid opinion then sure, you get rid of those who do wank, but you can also prevent people who are honestlyu thoughtful from stepping out. And yes, some people take Fandom far too seriously, but there are different ways of dealing with that. And it's not easy to distinguish between 'taking seriously' and 'taking far TOO seriously.' Pondering whether Vash is an Alcoholic? Whether Remus likes men or women? Is that wrong in and of itself? No... it's reasonable. Yelling that YOURS is the ONLY opinion, that is silly, but otherwise...
If you do see something you consider absurd, don't mock it, argue it. In my experience true butt wipes, true nasty people tend to get OFF on attention. So laughing at them and hating them won't do any good. Let's take an example. Gun used this a while ago... take someone who honestly thinks that Bellatrix Le Strange is a good and decent femail roll model. Don't just call that person a 'cat fucker' or whatever... go to their LJ and talk to them. Here's what *I*'d do...
1: Talk to them about their opinions, argue civily with them... see their point of view. Frojm here one of two things will happen...
a) They will prove themselves to be reasonable. In which case either you will I) agree with them II) they will agree with you or (more likely) III) You will both see the different sides in each others argument and agree to dissagree, coming way more thoughtful and with a different view of the character/issue.
b) They will say somehting like Fuck off U DIck I am Write so THERE!!!11111 or generally argue in an unreasonable and stupid manner at which point go to part 2 which says...
2: Walk away and get on with your own life. Because at the end of the day there are far more creative and useful things to do in a fandom than be mock others. Show your own talent/reasoning abilities rather than simply mocking their lack in others. Sure, the stupid people will continue to exist. Sure, they may even gather others to their cause. But these people rarely do any harm, they will be happy who knows what may come of it. Unelss they are activly harrassing others then is any action really needed?
So that's my opinion on the nice vs nasty issue. Hope it wasn't too wanky. For the record it's very late at night now and no doubt it lost coherencey.
In summery, if summery is needed... I shall say this.
1: Chill. Try not to take everything too seriously, but also respect the fact that others DO take things seriously.
2) Be patient of other peoples opinions, even if you do not agree with them and remember that reason works better than violence or cruelty.
3) Take every word of this with a pinch of salt. I will.
Last but not least, It'd like to bind this all together will a little link my friend Scribber said. Forget the nice/mean manifesto, this is what I think I'll be livin' by...The Fan/Fandom Creed.
The Fan/Fandom Creed.
I. I acknowledge that fandom can, has, and will exist without me. I am not important. What I can do, someone else could easily take over. Even if the fandom is tiny, there are probably many more fans of whom I simply have not heard that write/draw/dream things that could blow my mind. Fandom would not fall apart without me.
II. I acknowledge that no matter what I've contributed to it, the fandom owes me absolutely nothing. I will not look for fame, nor will I expect a certain type of treatment from anyone else in the fandom. If people respect me, let them; if people dislike me, let them. I certainly will not threaten to leave and expect anyone to care.
III. I acknowledge that no matter what sort of "credentials" I have in the real world, in fandom, I am merely just another "fan." I might be a published author, a famous artist, or hell, Brad Pitt, but in fandom, if I am not the creator of the canon material, I am merely a follower and I will remember that.
IV. I acknowledge that fandom is a thing created and kept alive by more than one person. People will disagree with me; I will disagree with people. Although I reserve the right to leave the premises or disagree/rant/make snide comments in relative private, I will never flame someone publically or personally for their opinions. If there is discussion in public, it will be civil and I will keep the peace.
V. I acknowledge that there will always be parts of fandom that I dislike; I also acknowledge that there will always be parts of fandom that dislike me; these parts, I will ignore. There will always be people who will never see things my way, no matter what anyone says or does, and there will always be people who keep producing works with which I completely disagree. Again, although I reserve the right to leave the premises or disagree/rant/make snide comments in relative private, I will make no move to actually stop them. They have the right to imagine their versions of characters, just as I have the right to imagine mine.
VI. I acknowledge that, just as fandom owes me nothing, neither do other fans. It doesn't matter who I am; just because I created a community or many people agree with my portrayal of Character A does not give me rights to anything in the fandom. If I receive praise, I will always remember that it is given freely, not due; if I receive criticism, I will take it and remember that criticism, too, is freely given. Regardless of which it is, I will always feel thankful for the time.
VII. I acknowledge that fandom is fandom and how certain people act/how certain people's tastes run in fandom has no relation to them in real life. Although I reserve the right to like or dislike someone based on their OOC/non-fandom-related comments, I will neither judge nor form opinions about someone as a person purely through fandom. Just as slash writers are not always gay and RPers are not always self-inserts, I acknowledge that the fandom-image I know and the real life-person that I do not may be completely different people.
VIII. I acknowledge that there will be other fans that I dislike personally; I also acknowledge that there will be other fans that dislike me personally; these fans, I will ignore. Again, although I reserve the right to leave the premises or disagree/rant/make snide comments in relative private, I will make no move to actually confront them if they have done no wrong. Being a jerk may have them kicked out of communities and forums, but I will always remember that they have as much right to be in the actual fandom as I do. And I will always remember that I do have that right.
IX. I acknowledge that just as I am in fandom to have fun, other people are in fandom for the exact same reason, and I will remember that. I will never do anything to actively try to stop other people's fun, regardless of how much I may disagree with what they are doing. Clause reserving the right to leave the premises or disagree/rant/make snide comments in relative private still holds here, but I will never tell another fan to stop having fun in whatever way they want to have fun. And I will never pay any attention when someone tells me to stop having fun myself.
X. I acknowledge that just as everyone else is a person, that I am a person, too. No matter what other fans may think of me from what they have seen in fandom, I will never let that persona/image/reputation get in the way of being myself if/when I should communicate with them outside of fandom. If they respect me, I will thank them, and if they dislike me, I will accept it, but these things I will strictly keep in fandom only and will not allow them to interfere with my friendships or real life.
XI. I acknowledge that there are people uninterested in my fandom and I will not press my fandom upon them. I will not speak of certain fandoms to those that have no interest in them, nor will I pressure anyone to look at/read/otherwise be forced to come up with reactions to things that they couldn't care less about. I know that fandoms are very specific things, that being pressured into looking at them is highly uncomfortable, and I will not impose that way upon others.
XII. I acknowledge that, in the end, real life is real life and fandom is only fandom. If fandom begins to affects my real life in negative ways, I will remember that I have the option to simply leave and if it gets bad enough, I will. If I am truly unhappy with a certain fandom or the way a certain fandom is going, I will remember that I have the option of simply creating another community for people who share the same interests as me, or the option of just staying and refusing to go with the flow. I will remember that fandom is a simple trade of time with fun, and that if the fun is not worth the cost, I will remember that I am merely wasting time. Above all else, I will remember that remaining in fandom is an entirely voluntary action.
If you follow this creed, please post it in your journal.
Created by grayout (original link) http://www.livejournal.com/users/grayout/63861.html
Now, that's the kind of creed I can live by...
NOTES: I'm going to edit in some links into this, then I'm calling it good for tonight. It's 4am and this hasn't been spell checked, nor re-read for coherency. Never the less I hope it does not suffer too much for it and I beg of any readers to be forgiving. I am dyslexic and my spelling, when without a spell checker, sucks. Tomorrow if I've time I shall edit this for spelling/grammer/form and coherency. Until then good night!