my tiredness talks

[ylowcrdspnkprep]

Well, sorry about not ever updating this guys. It's been wicked busy around here lately. After finding out about Amanda being pregnant and then returning to school and work. It seems like I don't have a whole lot of time to just sit down and think. But that's okay because I love being around people. Except right now. I've been awake since 5 this morning because of my little brother. Screaming and pulling my hair. At around 7 I finally gave up on the idea of sleep. I've spent the last day out here, at my dad's house, and it's always a reality check. I want a lot of stuff. I know that sounds ridiculously selfish. However I don't understand how I can ask my dad for something every so often, something that doesn't cost that much, or something that I could really use and he says no. Yet his wife is able to go out and spend 100 dollars on Tommy clothes on my 1 1/2 yr. old brother who doesn't care that his pants cost 40 bucks. Yet if I ask for something it's coming out of my Christmas or Birthday presents. It's like I don't ever deserve to get anything unless they have to buy me something. I feel so worthless. Like I don't matter to anyone. I hate this feeling. Yet it's so hard to not feel this way when people that are suppose to love and care about you don't give two shits.

School, is good. While for most of the day I just sit there because I'm too lazy to do anything of importance or try to work in class, it's nice to be around all the people.

Since I know your going to read this, Caitlin, I don't quite care what you do or don't do anymore. So have a nice year.

Amanda and everything is good. Baby weights about one ounce right now, and it could fit in the palm of my hand. It makes you realize how amazing life really is.

Chris is just wonderful. I love that boy with all my heart.

Alex and I are friends, and it's the most awesome relationship ever.