grrrr....
"Taken me all this time to find out what I need" ~Bush "come down." I love that song so much. I decided to put a line from a song at the beginning of my journals that kinda says what I'm feeling, unfortunately this one is only mostly true, I still don't know what the hell I need/want but hey I think I'm a little closer to figuring it out..I hope. I hate when people say "you're to young to worry about that" that is such a fucking assholish thing to say. To me the only one who can choose what someone should worry about is themselves. I hate people who try to tell you what to think and act like. My grandmother was like "you're to young to be worry about these things..." talking about politics. Well Granny, I love you dearly, but fuck that! If I take the time to educate myself about the subject how can you then tell me that I'm too young?! My dad is always saying "you're to young to be having them headaches" talking about boyfriends and relationships, what the fuck...just what the fuck is all I can say on that one. My parents left for New York today with my 2 step siblings, so I am alone for the day until I go out tonight, it kinda sucks, I hate being alone, the worst is to be alone at night though, but at the moment I'd rather just be alone than go to dad's house even if it is father's day this weekend. I don't know why I have so much anger at everything right now but I'm just so pissed off, upset, whatever pretty much every feeling in the world at the moment. I think I'm going to start setting goals for myself, Becky has suggested that a while ago, but I never did it. Unfortunately at the moment my self doubt has paralyzed me in so many ways. I want to get over that, I want to be able to talk to people I don't know very well or guys I like. I haven't even really been able to talk to my best friend lately, I don't know why. I withdrawed from most of the things I love. Ugh I'm just so frustrated with myself at the moment. <3MW