Prompt Post - Part Nine [CLOSED TO NEW PROMPTS]
THIS PART IS NOW CLOSED. YOU CAN CONTINUE POSTING FILLS, BUT PLEASE PROMPT ALL NEW THINGS HERE.
Part one here!
Part two here!
Part three here!
Part four here!
Part five here!
Part six here!
Part seven here!
Part eight here!
Feel free to reprompt posts from previous parts once. If you do so, I'd recommend leaving a link to your fill on the original prompt, ( Read more... )
It comes quickly, silently, most of all hard. It's all in his head, but there's that little moment -- no more than a second -- that seems so big it consumes him. Robin can't even remember throwing the punch. One moment everybody is laughing, the other everyone is imposingly silent.
The fear pummels through the bone in his chest, leaves his insides torn and when it leaves, it takes his every breath with it. And he feels trapped; like the lions in the big top, hundreds of people cheering for those who oppose him, rooting for him to lose even though he's the one on the wrong side of the whip.
It was just so... sudden. Really. This shouldn't even be a problem but when it comes without warning it leaves him very little choice. Had he only been prepared, known what to expect, he could let his mind run rampant with innumerable safety measures and escape plans. It was exhausting, sure, but it was enough. At least then his knees wouldn't tremble ever so slightly and his stomach wouldn't be halfway up his throat.
But it's the way they're all looking at him that really gets to him the most.
''Dude'' Wally releases the word in a heavy breath. Looks at him like he's just thrown a baby off a bridge.
''Conner, are you alright?'' M'gann is quick by the clone's side, even though she knows there is no conceivable way the punch could have hurt him; even though she feels no pain throbbing through the link, her heart won't still unless she makes absolutely sure.
Conner just blinks perplexedly at the youngest member like he's meeting him for the very first time.
''What was that for?'' Robin's sure that if the clone hadn't been in shock, he would be pushing him against a wall by now.
It serves only to increase the tension, and Dick suddenly feels the belligerent urge to move. Get out of there, away from that mask. His punch knocked it off Conner's face, cracked it in all the wrong ways and the grin is now inhumanly wide; it seems almost to be mocking him from where it lays.
''I'm...'' But he can't even speak. His mouth dries up faster than his tongue can push out the words, much faster than his brain can even think of something to say so he simply closes his mouth and looks away.
''Did we scare you?'' M'gann looks up at him in increased worry at the realization. ''I'm sorry, we didn't mean to --''
''Like you can scare the Boy Wonder?''
''I was just...'' Dick swallows and the saliva feels like sand in his throat. ''I'm sorry. I'm a bit tired, I... lil' off my game...''
The last part is mumbled so low they have to strain to hear it. M'gann smiles sympathetically and reaches out for him, but when Robin only flinches back from her hand as one would a strike, she gets the sudden feeling that something very wrong is happening. Though she has no time to inquire about it, as Robin's already mumbling one of a million excuses, avoids Superboy's eyes and leaves. All she can think of doing is look to Wally, who seems just as confused as her.
''Wow, moody'' He huffs. ''Bats must really be busting his chops lately.''
''Do you think something has happened?''
''Nah'' Wally waves his hand dismissively. ''I'm sure Batman's just being his usual grouchy self.''
M'gann looks at the space the youngest member left behind and frowns.
''Yeah... Maybe.''
But the worry in her heart still flutters.
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Wally's trying not to laugh, but he's not trying very hard at all so it slips out anyway and for a second there, it sends chills down his spine. Dick's sure he's just imagining it but for the faintest of seconds it's still there, closer to him than he ever wants it to be.
''I'm not scared of clowns, I'm just...'' He wishes Wally wouldn't have brought it up in the middle of training like this. Wishes that if he really had to poke fun about it, he could have waited until later when they were alone and not surrounded by the entire team and they were all looking at him again.
''Just what? Respectful of them?'' Wally's tone makes a kind of fluttering sound as the remains of his laugh still linger. ''Okay, sure. I totally buy that.''
''I don't understand...'' M'gann frowns and her confusion is genuine, still it makes something twist inside of him. ''Clowns are supposed to make you laugh, aren't they?''
''Yeah'' Robin mumbles and wishes they could just drop it.
''But you laugh all the time.''
Robin rolls his eyes and sighs.
''Look, guys, can we just forget it? I really don't want to talk about it.''
''Dude, you're from --'' Robin jabs his best friend in the ribs before the redhead has a chance to complete the sentence. ''Dude! I was going to say Gotham! Jeesh!''
''I just don't like clowns, okay?''
Wally rolls his eyes and behind him he can see Conner smirk.
''Suuuure.''
''Just...'' Dick sighs. ''Forget it.''
The way their eyes clutch onto the back of his neck, Dick knows he might as well be asking for the world.
---
''Is the little birdie scared?''
He wants to shake his head but doesn't. Truth be told, he is afraid. Out of his mind, actually. Right this moment he wants nothing else but to run far, far away and never stop; just put enough distance between himself and those cold, black eyes as possible. He had heard about the Joker before, but he honestly didn't think it'd be this bad.
He was a clown. How scary were those? He grew up with clowns, for crying out loud. Some of them had been like uncles to him; it was a clown who first taught him how to 'spit like a man', and another who -- unsuccessfully -- taught him how to flirt. Other people, sure, that made some kind of sense but not him. Of all people, he shouldn't even be capable of feeling like this.
Fear of clowns was common, this he knew because it was one of the things you simply picked up when working side by side with the Bat. Robin knew a lot of things he didn't really want to, nor reasonably should at his age, but that he had stored in his mind anyway. Some kids at school are scared of them, too, something about the make-up hiding the face. It looks human, but still isn't.
This is kind of like that. Only he's sure there is nothing human about the face hiding behind that smile; the make up is real and the swallowing pit of madness in his gaze grabs a hold so strong, Dick fears he will never be let go. It's the eyes, more than anything, that really get to him.
Just one look and he understands that this man -- no, not really a man either, something much more wretched than that. Something distorted and wrong -- he is capable of anything. There is no logic, no rhyme and certainly no reaon. Whatever this man does, whatever Robin plans as a countermeasure will be insufficient. Joker will go right, Robin will go left and still somehow end up upside-down.
There is nothing but the suffocating loss of control. Robin manages to stay confident most of the time -- almost overconfident -- but not now. Not with him. Never with him.
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Moments like these he remembers that he's really just thirteen and there are just so many things, so many good things in the world he hasn't even begun to discover and here he is, face to face with a madman who looks and moves and talks and is the very opposite of all of those things. There's no coin toss, no riddle or motive or anything at all really.
Just chaos.
So yeah. The little birdie is scared. But he puts on his own grin, bright and strong and confident, makes a quip he can't even remember ten minutes aftrerwards because the adrenaline itself drowns out every sound, every thought in his head and twists the moment into a blur. Every time it feels like waking from a really bad dream; his heart pounding wildly and the fabric of his suit glued to his skin in the coldest of sweats while he can't seem to remember any of it. There's that trace amount of terror, still vibrating through him, that he can ignore if he only talks loud and long enough on their way home, but which churns and screams somewhere in the back of his chest many nights after.
But he's always relieved, at least. And lucky. So very lucky because he made it back this time. Made it back home to the manor which never seemed so warm or safe or welcoming; back to Alfred and his sundaes that never tasted so good. It's not that he can't handle it, Dick tells himself on many occassions. It's just that not all of their encounters run smoothly. Sometimes he's alright. Sometimes not.
But at least he's alive.
---
The second time someone wears a clown mask it's Billy. Robin knows he shouldn't be angry because he's just ten and he doesn't really know better, and it is kind of funny.
Billy's not lying restless nights on a row because everytime he closes his eyes, he can hear that laugh. He's not beating himself up during the really bad days because he can't visit a circus anymore -- and it used to be his favourite place in the whole wide world. When the pain was getting better, when he was more used to the fact that they would never ever be there by his side again, he had felt so... proud maybe wasn't the word but it was something good. Something decent. Dick didn't step a foot insid the big top, still after four years, but at least he could get onto the carny grounds. Smell the warm and somehow soothing scent of hot buttered popcorn, the sound of an accordion and laughter and life -- it spread through his chest like a warm, licking fire and Dick had feared for a while there that he would never get to have this feeling again. Distancing himself from the memories, from his past, somehow only made it hurt more because the vacancy it left in his chest grew bigger. The echos of breaking bone got louder.
But he got past that. Until he met the Joker. He'd conquered one fear only to gain another and suddenly no cotton candy or laughing or talking or hoop jumping monkeys in the world could make him step foot inside a circus again. Because they were everywhere; their smiles that held no joy and their voices that were gruff and discordant; the very proximity of a clown had Dick shift into Robin and things only went downhill from there. It took a lot of time and a lot of willpower, but in the presence of the team he could remind himself of what was important. He had a job to do and when it came down to it, that was all that really mattered. So he left the fear with Dick Grayson, urged Robin to be strong and hoped that Dan Danger could take it. It had been fine then. Manageable, anyway.
Standing here now, though, all those fears he'd tried to bury come rushing back to him. Relentlessly pushing at his chest like the heaviest pair of elephant feet.
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He doesn’t know when the trembling started - if it ever really stopped - but it gets worse with the remorse that slowly comes crawling back to him.
How many more times is he going to let them surprise him like this? How many more injuries before he learns how to handle it? It’s unfair to them, unfair to his teachings because he should have more control than this by now but it came on too suddenly, strong like a reflex and Dick doesn’t know what to do. And Billy’s shaking even worse, the tears build up slowly in his eyes at first but there comes a point when the pain throbs too violently; the embarrassment rolls over him in waves but it’s the fear that really tilts him. Fear of someone he had regarded a friend and it’s just so frustrating, all of it, because he shouldn’t be crying in front of them like this. He should be cool and mature but is instead reduced to a sniveling, snotty cry-baby. He’s never seen any of them cry, especially not Robin who’s so close to his age, who’s really just a kid after all and even he has never cried in front of them like this, but Billy’s just so scared. So confused. Robin can really pack a punch despite being so small and without the stamina of Atlas the pain becomes incredible.
Robin wants to apologize, can feel the words scrape at his mouth but they come no further; he’d barely be able to look at them still if it wasn’t for the unsilencable paranoia in the back of his head. He trusts them with his life, yet can’t shake off the fear that the moment he turns away they'll go for his throat. Slit his cheeks and break his bones.
Artemis is yelling at him but he can’t make out her words. If he focused he could probably read her lips but something seems to have snapped in his head and he can’t do much more than stare, twitch a little as adrenaline rushes through him. And Robin wonders when it got this bad, how he couldn't notice -- wonders if he's going mad. Maybe it's contagious and he can't breathe anymore, can't even think straight and he has to get out of there. Maybe Artemis said something important or, maybe she was simply angry, whichever option, Dick will never know as he grits his teeth, turns on his heel and leaves.
Just leaves with that wretched laugh ringing in his ears.
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The problem with my LJ seems to be in leaving long comments. I knew one day this would be my undoing. My friend has his finals for another day, but then he promised to fix it. I'm owing you more and more reviews as we go. I'll catch up here and in BtD, promise. Just... a little more patience, and till then, I'm loving this one, too.
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Well, it seems a punishment fitting of whatever it is that you did wrong to anger the LJ gods!
I'm patient with you, don't worry! And I'm glad XD
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THIS IS COMPLETELY INSANE.
(I think it's my sleep deprivation; I'm sitting here right now alternating between grinning like an idiot and giggling away like Harley.)
The LJ gods are being mean to me. But I have the best writer-no-longer-anon ever, so IN YOUR FACE, LJ!
...Yeah, I think it's time for me to sleep, too.
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YES. I'LL PROBS SPASM IN YOUR ASKBOX TOMORROW ABOUT TI TOO.
Now you go sleep, and I'll go die in my bed, and I'll talk to you soon and if this happens again I'm peeing myself or something. Gosh.<3
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Batman's tone of voice leaves no room for discussion. Not that it ever really does, but it’s more imposing this time.
”Is this about Rob?”
”Yes.”
He doesn’t have to be a master detective to realize this was going to be a problem, sooner or later. Robin refuses to talk about it, refuses to admit any fear or weakness in front of his mentor. Robin would never, could never, but Batman isn’t blind. He saw the signs before anyone else could even notice but any attempt to confront the boy has lead to nothing but arguments. Alfred says he probably just needs time but Bruce fears time will only make it worse. Fear is a thorny plant with roots that only reach deeper the longer you let it be. Feeds and grows in the dark of your mind until it completely takes over.
So he does whatever little thing he can.
”It’s come to my attention that some… jokes, have taken place lately.” Batman sighs irritably. ”Some very inappropriate jokes.”
He scans them all with his eyes and even through the lenses of the mask they feel cold.
”Look'' Conner says. ''If we'd known he’d freak out like that we wouldn’t have done it in the first place”
”We tried to tell him we were sorry but he’s not talking to us right now, so, you know. This isn't just our responsibility.” Artemis sounds annoyed but despite the way she glares, she can’t completely mask her worry.
Robin laughs and jokes about everything; Wally accepted it as his way of coping long ago. So it’s strange to see him not cope at all; the kid's born and raised in a circus, a clown shouldn’t even be a big deal.
The prank wasn’t even originally intended to target him; they were just fooling around, and may or may not have been planning to drag Kaldur into it later because he just seemed so grim after his trip to Atlantis and it was just harmless fun. They didn’t know Robin was going to show up in the middle of it and they certainly didn’t know he’d react the way he did. Punching Superboy, it hadn’t seemed like a big deal because he’s invulnerable, it was probably just a subconscious recognization of the one powerhouse they had and no harm was really done. At least, that's how Wally reasoned. That some Batreflex had simply kicked into gear.
But when he actually punched Billy was when Wally realized - when they all realized - that something wasn’t right. And for Batman to take them all aside and glare at them, speak to them in that reserved tone of voice that Wally's only ever heard him use around Dick, well, nothing really feels right at all.
''Is this about the Joker?'' Wally says and everybody turns to look at him. Completely out of nowhere, Wally remembers that one time.
It was after the two had, kind of unspoken, gotten past the 'cool to hang out with' stage and into the 'BFF' territory. Actually it wasn't long after Dick had revealed his identity, though Wally can't remember for sure if it was days or weeks or, maybe, months after that reveal. He can't remember what the weather was like or who won that day, but knew they had been sparring. Dick was changing into a casual shirt, which was when he saw the scar. It caught his eye among the many others, littering skin much too young to be broken, and in the entire lot of lines mapped across his back, one of them was deeper, pinker than the others. He's not sure if he simply asked or if Dick caught him staring at it, but he'd tensed visibly within seconds.
''Just another day in Gotham'' he'd said and Wally had left it at that, because it hadn't felt good to pry. He never really felt there was any sort of line he could stumble over if he said the wrong thing; with Dick it was always just this sort of comfortable agreement that whatever he didn't want to talk about, he wouldn't. There were some things he preferred to keep locked away, deeper things, his parents, mostly. Wally knew his stories and secrets, knew most things about them. Some deeper, some only shallow. Dick shared a lot with him in a way that was more than just wearing his heart on his sleeve -- it was more like an entire outfit, really -- so when those moments came that he remained tight lipped, Wally understood.
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''Yes.'' Batman says.
And Wally knows all he needs. The others don't look entirely convinced, there are still questions hanging around but now they feel more hesitant to utter them.
''Gotham villains aren't... like other villains. I don't expect you to understand. I do, however, expect you to never bring this up again.''
''What's so special about Joker?'' Conner finally says, because someone has to. ''We've run into people hundreds of times more dangerous than him.''
Batman shares a brief look with Wally, then looks back to the team and Conner's voice is laced with anger, because he simply doesn't understand. Batman doesn't expect him to. Thinking about his rogues in simply black and white terms isn't enough; when you're used to facing aliens and Chaos Lords and murderous androids, when sheer power becomes your measuring tool, maybe a man with a grin and a switchblade doesn't seem all that imposing. Which is good, in a way, because that's not something any child should know.
''The Joker may not have any actual powers and yes, physically he is weak and a poor fighter. Which is exactly why he is so dangerous.''
Conner's glare only intensifies with the confusion splayed across his features. M'gann looks only worried while Artemis has that grimace that means she's figured something out. Being from Gotham herself, she knows enough. She's seen the news, heard the stories, met the monsters in the streets. Not like the Dynamic Duo, but she's met enough villains in her childhood to know when physical strength is to prefer over mental chaos. She's seen insane men twist themselves over and backwards, contort the world to fit their thoughts and she knows the terror of looking into a pair of eyes and fear they'll swallow you. It churns inside her gut a hundred laps around.
''But you always fight crazy people'' Billy's voice is odd, the swelling in his cheek making it hard to speak. ''I mean you guys, you... battle Two-Face and... and Killer Croc!''
Billy doesn't want to believe one of his idols could be afraid of anything. Because where does that leave him? Where does it leave anyone when those who are sworn to protect you can't always be strong?
''Robin's been doing this since he was nine'' Artemis says and her voice has become difficult to hear. ''He's been facing people like the Joker since he was younger than you.''
''Yeah, well...'' Billy twists his hands. ''That's... why I always... I mean that's why I've always thought they were cool... The Dynamic Duo was one of the things I dreamt of being, one day, and...''
And they were still human, and children still got scared. Sometimes even grown men wanted nothing more than to hide away someplace where the terror could never find them.
''The Joker wouldn't blink twice before murdering a child. The fact that he's managed to ruin so many lives without powers, is exactly what makes him so dangerous. As I said, I don't expect you to understand.''
The silence lies heavy around them, closes in on them like the walls themselves are moving and their skin grows cold. This wasn't how it was supposed to go.
''We didn't mean any harm...'' M'gann says in genuine, heartfelt remorse.
When Batman looks at her he doesn't seem angry, which she had expected. Rather, he seems resigned.
''I know you didn't. But in the future, remember what I've told you. Respect Robin's... aversion. Until it's better.''
No one wants to ask if it can really get better, when fear is that deeply rooted, when it's just so primal that it becomes a natural response. But they feel like they've done and said enough harmful things already, and maybe this time it's best to be quiet.
''Are we clear?'' Batman says, and all they do is nod. ''Good. You're dismissed.''
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