Friends baby brings about confussing thoughts for me.
Wow, the day has just begun, and already it is promising to be hot out. I have been hiding away down cellar trying to work on my first quilt, my mom is teaching me, so that I may have a new blanket for school, seeing as the one that I used for my Freshman and Sophmore years has had better days. (It lost a battle with a pen). Mom is taking me out shopping so that we can find some gifts for a friends baby shower. Wow, going to a baby shower of a friend that I have had since elementary school. It's kinda scary, seeing as we are the same age. But then again, we took different paths. After she moved to Florida, when we were in the sixth grade, she got her education, then got a job right after high school. I recieved a wedding invitation in the mail from her about two years back. Unfortunantly, I couldnt' go up to Florida at that time due to school. College is great, but it doesn't leave much time or money for anything else.
I really don't know what to think about my friend having a baby. Getting married and having children is not something that I find appealing. I want to live for my work, after I get my Masters in criminology and law. Which is gonna be another six or seven years from now. I want to see the world. Add to that the fact that I don't really care for children, adn it is plain to see that having a family is not something in the works for me.
Although I am a little envious. She is doing something that is so grown up and mature, starting a family, having a stable full time job. I still feel like a little girl. I am twenty for goodness sakes. My biggest concern is getting my paper in on time and finding a job. Shouldn't I have more adult concerns, like paying bills and stuff like that? I seem to be stuck, living at home during the summer, then living on my own during school, it makes me feel like I am both a child and an adult at the same time. It is ackward, being in this possition, am I supposed to act like I am my age, like I am older, or like I am younger. Should I clear out all of my fairies and dolls adn stuffed animals and grow up, or am I fine just the way that I am?
Is there anyone who is older and wiser than me that could give me a hand in all of this, it is terribly confusing.