More later
I leave for Kansas on Sunday. My dad helped me fix up my car to ensure it survives the drive. He says it won't last another two years. But as time passes and things grow old, I'm hopefully for the new things life will bring despite saying more goodbyes. I believe I've gotten used to change and separation. Maybe that's impossible. This next year in Kansas will most likely be a lonely one. I see myself spending a lot of time alone and with people who aren't friends . I still have friends in Kansas, yet I feel I have changed. My head is turned towards goals I've set after school is through. I won't be in Kansas then and that might have an effect on my Kansas relationships. I'm really excited to see everyone again, however I might not see them often. I have to keep open about this.
At home over the summer, I tried to rekindle old friendships most for high-school. It didn't work out as well as I thought. Bob and Matt's friendships are probably the most important to me. As I reflect, I could have spent more time with them. But with Bob, my first, things can be tricky and Matt can be touchy too. Instead I was lucky enough to have a summer love, whom I kept a secret. His name is Buddy. I have plans to see him again tonight. He'll pick me up in his 1985 Chrysler Lebaron convertible with the top down. I've never been a car chick, but I've fallen for the wind in my hair. You may think me shallow, but I don't love him for his car. I met him before it's time. He bought it in June and we met at the end of May. We met at a Matt's party actually. I drove there twice, once for me and once to pick up Kat. If it hadn't been for Matt & Kat I would not have met Buddy. I liked him instantly, because of his broad shoulders, vintage jacket, and Beck-like looks. But it was him that approached me, probably because I flashed him the eye, and he asked if I had a bowl. I was hooked. He and his friends were hilarious and kept Kat & I laughing til 4. How could I not give him my phone number!?! At first when he called I didn't want to rush into another dating game, especially after ending one in the beginning of May. This boy has everything, but if it wasn't for his sense of humor I never would had gone for it. We don't talk about the future much and we don't talk about 'us'. We just enjoy each other for who we are and I hope we can stay that way. I will miss my Buddy.
In four days I will say goodbye to the boy who found me at the end of May. Afterwards I will return to Brian's town, a place I left long ago. Brian and I ended in the beginning of May. He doesn't know the month ended up for me. He doesn't wants to be just friends, but I'm out of Kansas now. How do you tell someone it's over? How do you keep the same person as a friend? How do resist playing games when you're both in the same state? How do I return home faster and where exactly is it?
Sometime I hate LJ because it brings out the poet in me and then other times I crave it.
At home over the summer, I tried to rekindle old friendships most for high-school. It didn't work out as well as I thought. Bob and Matt's friendships are probably the most important to me. As I reflect, I could have spent more time with them. But with Bob, my first, things can be tricky and Matt can be touchy too. Instead I was lucky enough to have a summer love, whom I kept a secret. His name is Buddy. I have plans to see him again tonight. He'll pick me up in his 1985 Chrysler Lebaron convertible with the top down. I've never been a car chick, but I've fallen for the wind in my hair. You may think me shallow, but I don't love him for his car. I met him before it's time. He bought it in June and we met at the end of May. We met at a Matt's party actually. I drove there twice, once for me and once to pick up Kat. If it hadn't been for Matt & Kat I would not have met Buddy. I liked him instantly, because of his broad shoulders, vintage jacket, and Beck-like looks. But it was him that approached me, probably because I flashed him the eye, and he asked if I had a bowl. I was hooked. He and his friends were hilarious and kept Kat & I laughing til 4. How could I not give him my phone number!?! At first when he called I didn't want to rush into another dating game, especially after ending one in the beginning of May. This boy has everything, but if it wasn't for his sense of humor I never would had gone for it. We don't talk about the future much and we don't talk about 'us'. We just enjoy each other for who we are and I hope we can stay that way. I will miss my Buddy.
In four days I will say goodbye to the boy who found me at the end of May. Afterwards I will return to Brian's town, a place I left long ago. Brian and I ended in the beginning of May. He doesn't know the month ended up for me. He doesn't wants to be just friends, but I'm out of Kansas now. How do you tell someone it's over? How do you keep the same person as a friend? How do resist playing games when you're both in the same state? How do I return home faster and where exactly is it?
Sometime I hate LJ because it brings out the poet in me and then other times I crave it.