two weeks' notice
dear motherfuckers --
I regret to inform you that as of [[date omitted]], I will no longer be able to extend to you my services as an employee of [[fill in name of awful, awful chainstore]]. I have decided it would behoove me to spend more time on my studies and less time as a slave in your cat-covered, rose-scented dungeon of torture listening to [[music by horrible, working man's barry manilow]] and wanting to shoot myself in the face. This is a truly difficult decision to make, but it is one that I feel will empower me as an individual, bringing me one step closer to nirvana.
--your favorite employee
sad when your only source of dark, dark amusement for the day comes in drafting and re-drafting your two-weeks' notice.
I regret to inform you that as of [[date omitted]], I will no longer be able to extend to you my services as an employee of [[fill in name of awful, awful chainstore]]. I have decided it would behoove me to spend more time on my studies and less time as a slave in your cat-covered, rose-scented dungeon of torture listening to [[music by horrible, working man's barry manilow]] and wanting to shoot myself in the face. This is a truly difficult decision to make, but it is one that I feel will empower me as an individual, bringing me one step closer to nirvana.
--your favorite employee
sad when your only source of dark, dark amusement for the day comes in drafting and re-drafting your two-weeks' notice.