"Who I'm with doesn't define who I am"
Not a moment ago, I saw ^this appear on my Facebook newsfeed as one of my relative's status. As much as I would like to word a whole essay as to why this statement is absolutely wrong, I'm not a very verbose person when it comes to intelligent arguments. I'm the kind of person who describes something as "awesome" or "bad", and that is all you would need to know if you trusted my immaculate opinions and judgements- but I digress. Okay, so from a stranger's perspective, you may or may not agree with the previous statement. I, on the other hand, knowing what the person was like for my whole, and their entire, childhood - and what shenanigans they have been up to for the past few months/years - probably have a very different opinion to what you may have.
First off, let me begin by reaffirming my thesis- THIS IS A RIDICULOUSLY ABSURD, AND INCORRECT, STATEMENT. There's the saying 'opposites attract', right? But for the most part, we seek for a partner that we are equals with, or share common interests/ideas/beliefs/morals in. Even if the opposites attract rule applies, there is still common ground. Generally, when two people come together, romantically or not, they reflect each other in many ways- including beliefs and mannerisms. They influence each other without intending to. Don't try to tell me that MaxNoSleeves and JennaMarbles don't talk in the same way. I watched a collection of both of their videos, pre- and post-breakup, and they have similar speech patterns- it's adorable. One's partner's actions may not reflect what you approve of, but it is a reflection of who you choose is acceptable to be your partner, for better or for worse. You could say, and this might be a wild stretch to state, that they are a representative of yourself. Why? If you met a married man, madly offensive; loud; rowdy; one would anticipate their partner to be somewhat of a similar level- even if it is more subdued on the partner's part. The same goes for if that man was timid as a mouse. Your partner's strengths may be your weaknesses, and/or vice versa. There is a reason why marriage is considered an act of two becoming one; two halves making a whole.
See what I mean when I say I can't write essays.. I'm starting to forget all the points I had planned to explain and it has been barely two paragraphs.
Continuing on from my preceding point, your partner is a representative of your choices. Why does/did Hollywood create those guilty pleasure chick flicks which we all covet, where the loser girl falls in love with the popular guy, and thus is treated like shit by his d-bag crowd? And yet, the major punchline is that he's a misconstrued sweetheart who happens to be wickedly charismatic. BUT don't forget, this sweetheart also broke the girl's heart along the way to the movie's happily-ever-after conclusion in some cowardice defence to stay with his friends. No matter how much he is different, there was something tying him to those awful people. Whoa, sorry, if that seemed to be a big diversion from the main course of direction this blog was meant to be heading in, but you understand my longwinded anecdote, right? We view and accept the pretenses first, real or not, based on the people someone is surrounded by. As I said before, relationships of any kind bring people together with various dissimilarities on the basis of alikeness, and if you're with a group of people, the general thought is that whatever major trait(s) you share is/are what define you as a group, and in turn as an individual. The choices we make DEFINE who we are- friends and romantic partners included. I hope this is making sense? Otherwise I'm just going in circles for nothing.
Now, may I please go off the track here?
Okay, so let's say there are redeeming points about a person, and the woman/man they are with can overlook the bad to see the good. Is it worth doing dirty deeds just to get your way and be with them, if you are: one- hurting those that you love most and love you most; two- reasserting the criticismsthat your loved ones have of your partner? In saying this, acting in that way changes the way people think of YOU and your morals. You may be baffled that these people who once cared about you so much, are now judging you/are in disharmony with you. Is it not for the best that they wish for you to HAVE the best? Now they could be wrong, and this could be a prejudiced tragedy a la Romeo and Juliet, but they could also be right in thinking that you deserve more; that you deserve a good person who loves you enough to know what is important to you, is important to you, too. That hurting your family, is hurting their family. Don't be blind. Unwavering and unconditional love from family and friends may be the most loyal love can be, but if for a particular reason, that love stops- who is in the wrong, you who had done said thing, or more than 30 people who had accepted your partner into their lives with trust and have seen the ugly of that person- the ugly which you remain apathetic about?
I am riddled with fatigue, and have failed my mission to complete this blogpost. If I do decide to add more, there will be an EDIT heading with more babble. Good day.