DAY TWELVE ★ do-over

Nov 19, 2015 20:50

Username: shinealightrose
Prompt #: 127 [prompt details]From a picture I saw on 9gag's instagram: "What if the one that got away came back?" If headcanon, may deal with Kris' leaving.
Title: Do-Over
Ship: Lay/Yifan
Side ship: Luhan/Xiumin
Rating: G
Word count: 1,570 words
Summary: When his ex-boyfriend comes back, Yixing has to ponder the question: maybe there was a reason for 'the one who got away' (non-canon).
Notes: Somehow, inexplicably, this prompt just drew me to it. My thanks to the prompter, and for the mods for this great fest.



It's an extremely beautiful day for Yixing to be hit with such news. Somehow he never expected it to go like this. Truthfully, he never expected it to happen at all. Him, accepting a lunch invite with Lu Han and Minseok, expecting to be the typical third wheel but they never made it awkward before and Yixing doesn't mind. They've chosen a shaded patio table at one of their favorite restaurants under the palm trees with a street view of the downtown area shops. A table for four. Yixing is their number four.

"Hello, hello, hi..." He greets Yifan only briefly, eyes barely making contact as he sits down. In his head he hears himself asking Lu Han bluntly, 'What the hell is he doing here?' Instead he grits his teeth and smiles, picks up the menu and pretends he doesn't understand what's going on.

"Yixing?" Lu Han prompts him warily.

Above his menu Yixing sees his best friend looked worriedly between him and Yifan who's biting his lip. Minseok frowns.

"Yixing?" Lu Han tries again. "I guess it's been a while you and-"

"It's okay," Yifan interrupts. "You don't have to pretend to reintroduce us. I should have known I wasn't welcome here anymore. Thanks... thanks for inviting me anyways."

Yixing doesn't even attempt to stop his ex-boyfriend from leaving this time. He continues staring at his menu, as if making the choice between a salad and sandwich is greater than the option Yifan gave him many, many years ago: stay or come with.

"You were extremely rude," Lu Han tells him minutes later, after he'd chased Yifan down but failed to persuade the man to come back to lunch.

"Was I? I'm sorry," Yixing responds candidly, face muscles barely moving.

Lu Han fumes and a bright pinkish color invades his cheeks, Minseok trying to console him. "He moved back last month, didn't you know? I thought- I thought- Whatever happened to 'the one that got away' huh? Yixing? I was just trying to-"

"Set us back up again? Lu Han, thanks sweetie. You're my best friend, but I really don't need your help with this." He says it like he means it, hoping to put a clincher in whatever plans Lu Han may already have. Really, it's a nice gesture, and a few years ago Yixing would have appreciated it more. Because he remembers everything about the fiasco of Yifan leaving him and moving away. He remembers the heartbreak and the pleadings and the self-doubt. Yifan's deprecating tone when he suggested it was Yixing's cowardice that caused him to refuse, to stay here when Yifan was offering the world.

Yifan was absolutely his 'one who got away'. And now apparently he is back.

"I'm sorry, Lu Han," Yixing apologies more sincerely this time, already regretting the look of hurt on his best friend's face. "You're right. He was that. But, but maybe there was a reason I let him get away. Maybe I don't need to go through this again."

He tries again a few days later, but only because Lu Han insisted. Only because Yixing agreed that perhaps, he and Yifan needed to say a proper goodbye. And to say a proper goodbye they needed to have a proper meeting. Just them this time, and not an ambush.

Minseok sends him an encouraging text message, a cute "fighting" comment and some fist pump emojis. Yixing laughs, appreciating the sentiment, and not for the first time he regrets making them feel like their history is nothing like his and Yifan's, like Lu Han and Minseok haven't gone through roughly the same thing. Years of separation and a country apart, lots of tears on Yixing's shoulder late into the night and early morning because, 'Minseok was the love of my life! What do I do? Yixing, whatever do I do?'

They live together now, their heartbreak ending in renewed romance, and for this reason they're just so happy that Yixing has his chance again, that Yifan has his little chance of redemption. It's going to hurt them both when Yixing tells them, 'Sorry. It's a no go.' But first he needs to meet Yifan again, see the man with his own eyes, apologize and catch up, and then tell him goodbye for good.

Ironically, he picks out the same restaurant, the same sidewalk patio from which he can smell the ocean breeze from just a few blocks away. He gets their first and picks the table. It's different from the four-seater Lu Han reserved, but it is the same one from which Yixing told Yifan enough is enough, almost seven years ago.

He almost daydreams, smiling as the sun catches his eyes through the waving palm fronds. A waiter suddenly blocks the sun, indicating a customer to be seated across from him, and Yixing sees Yifan again.

"You're here." Yifan sounds amazed. He probably shouldn't blame him, after the last encounter they had.

"I am."

"I thought you didn't want to see me again."

"I didn't actually." Yixings sets his menu aside today. He already knows what he wants. Yifan barely glances at his before he too puts it down, probably not having any preference for food at all. He's jittery, on edge. Good looking as usual, if not more so than before he went away, damn the man for aging well. Yixing tries not to appreciate how his hair is all black again, short at the back, longer bangs swept up with gel in the front, and his cheekbones are more defined and his muscles more pronounced even through the plain cotton tee. Yixing takes a wild guess that his legs are toned and impressive. He's hardly the stick figure he was when they were fresh out of college. It's a man who sits before him now, although his expression is still that of a boy. It's cute.

"You didn't want to see me..." Yifan ruminates sadly, and his voice sounds so deep, deeper than Yixing remembers although perhaps it's just time playing tricks with his mind. "So why did you-"

The waiter interrupts to take their drink order. Yixing waits for him to leave before answering. "I changed my mind. I can do that, right?"

Yifan grimaces, caught somewhere between cautious and hopeful.

"Why... what changed your mind?"

Me, you, the weather, the past, the present, the future, Lu Han and Minseok. Yixing has a whole host of options, of reasons. He just can't decide on which one of them it is exactly.

"Maybe I just wanted to redo our final goodbye?" he says instead of all that.

Yifan's face falls, his hands clench and then open and he sits back in his chair. "I know... Look I know I didn't, ask the right way. Back then."

"And maybe you shouldn't have-"

"Asked at all, I know, I know." Yifan knows his words before Yixing can even say them. It's distressing even now how well he seems to know Yixing's mind. Why then, had it been so easy to screw it all up? Were they too young? Too inexperienced? Did they not realize that some loves were worth fighting for, or was theirs just the romance of naivety? Is it still worth fighting for?

"I should have stayed," Yifan says now. It's a startling announcement.

"Stayed here and missed that opportunity?" Yixing asks, perplexed. "Do you regret it already? That job, that life, being closer to your family?"

"No, but-"

"Then don't say you regret it. You made the right decision then, Yifan. You needed to leave, and you should have, and I... I made the right decision then too..." He speaks softly, accessing every word as it comes out, trying to use the right words this time. If there was one particular reason why their breakup was so volatile, it was probably because they used the wrong words. It could have been smoother; they could have been more mature about it all. Kind of like they are now, how Yixing hopes they are now.

"But... by leaving I lost you." Yifan's eyes shimmer. Tears, damnit, Yixing can't handle tears. Everything they had comes back to him in a moment, every yearning, stupid hope, every desire, all the conversations all the dreams, all the moments - curse those vivid, lingering moments. The first date, the first kiss, the first time they laid out on Yifan's dormitary bed.

"Did you though?" he asks quietly, eyes already answering Yifan's.

"Did I... what?" Yifan's voice is barely audible. Yixing has to strain to hear him.

"Maybe... you didn't... not forever."

"Yixing, what are you saying?"

And in that second everything hangs in the balance. Whether they move on, separately or together. Does Yixing really want to say goodbye here, or did he want this opportunity to redo the past, to change their fate? He doesn't know the answer, but he does know that he's willing to... try.

"Do over?" he pleads.

Cautiously, oh so cautiously he glances at Yifan, afraid of what he'll see. Afraid if it'll be the old Yifan of memory, or the new one of today, and worried that somehow that difference will actually matter.

Instead, he just sees Yifan. Who he is, who he's always been, faults and all, and Yixing isn't perfect either. There's more than a little hope in Yifan's eyes when he catches his gaze and repeats, softly, tenderly. "Do over."

*fanfiction, rating: g, ship: lay/yifan, day 12

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