"Like a virgin, touched for the very first time" - Madonna
A few weeks ago Virgin Inc. launched its line of soft drinks here in Israel. (Click here for the awful, loud, painfully ugly site)
Now, as a fan of anything faintly stinking of pop culture, and as part of the role of Defender of Public Consumption, I bring to you the perliminary results from my tests:
Black
This, of course, is the main product in this line, the original Virgin Cola launched in 1994. Their site claims their sales in the UK and Europe are excellent, but fail to mention the US, which is not surprising. Coke and Pepsi are firmly entrenched in American collective consciousness, and the Coca-Cola/Pepsi wars caused such a stir that other companies simply can't compete. Besides, what true-blooded American will drink a god-damn European cola?
The product itself, by the way, isn't bad at all. Too sweet, perhaps, but definitely passable. Beats RC Cola and other abominations hands-down.
White
This is Virgin's Diet Coke equivalent. I haven't tasted it yet, I admit, but I just wanted to say I like the whole color-coded drink concept.
Vanilla
Vanilla is a color?
Nevermind. This is a much maligned flavor, usually eliciting such thought-provoking comments as "Ecch" or the witty "Ewwwwww", but I rather like it. It starts out as a simple Cola. After a second or two - WHAM! Vanilla! Cool or what?
Blue
Ah, lemon-lime, that elusive tase. Has anyone ever actually tasted anything NATURAL that tastes like Sprite?
Never mind. Sprite is one of my favorite soft-drinks, and 7-Up isn't too bad either, so I had high hopes for this one. And anyway - it's blue! Can't go wrong with a blue softdrink, can you?
You can.
Should have suspected when I saw the drink was not, in fact, blue - only the bottle was. That was disappointing but didn't come close to the near-gagging that came when I actually tasted the stuff. Vile.
I left it near the kitchen sink. I'm hoping I go there one day and it'll be gone. I'm sure as hell not touching that thing again.
Neon-Green
Nothing says "refreshing" like radioactive food-coloring.
This is actually a rather nice drink, though indistinguishable from Lemon Fanta. If drinks that can unplug a drain are you thing, go for it.
Orange
This is cheating. This breaks the whole color-coding scheme. It's both a flavor AND a color? Bah.
Haven't tried it yet.
Pink
Pink.
Yes, Pink. Do you have a problem with that? Do you? DO YOU?
I have just one problem with it, and that's the fact that it's not available anywhere.
It's supposed to be this Pink Grapefruit flavor - which is cool - but no-one's heard of it outside of the
site. Grrr.
A few more anecdotes:
Now, as a fan of anything faintly stinking of pop culture, and as part of the role of Defender of Public Consumption, I bring to you the perliminary results from my tests:
Black
This, of course, is the main product in this line, the original Virgin Cola launched in 1994. Their site claims their sales in the UK and Europe are excellent, but fail to mention the US, which is not surprising. Coke and Pepsi are firmly entrenched in American collective consciousness, and the Coca-Cola/Pepsi wars caused such a stir that other companies simply can't compete. Besides, what true-blooded American will drink a god-damn European cola?
The product itself, by the way, isn't bad at all. Too sweet, perhaps, but definitely passable. Beats RC Cola and other abominations hands-down.
White
This is Virgin's Diet Coke equivalent. I haven't tasted it yet, I admit, but I just wanted to say I like the whole color-coded drink concept.
Vanilla
Vanilla is a color?
Nevermind. This is a much maligned flavor, usually eliciting such thought-provoking comments as "Ecch" or the witty "Ewwwwww", but I rather like it. It starts out as a simple Cola. After a second or two - WHAM! Vanilla! Cool or what?
Blue
Ah, lemon-lime, that elusive tase. Has anyone ever actually tasted anything NATURAL that tastes like Sprite?
Never mind. Sprite is one of my favorite soft-drinks, and 7-Up isn't too bad either, so I had high hopes for this one. And anyway - it's blue! Can't go wrong with a blue softdrink, can you?
You can.
Should have suspected when I saw the drink was not, in fact, blue - only the bottle was. That was disappointing but didn't come close to the near-gagging that came when I actually tasted the stuff. Vile.
I left it near the kitchen sink. I'm hoping I go there one day and it'll be gone. I'm sure as hell not touching that thing again.
Neon-Green
Nothing says "refreshing" like radioactive food-coloring.
This is actually a rather nice drink, though indistinguishable from Lemon Fanta. If drinks that can unplug a drain are you thing, go for it.
Orange
This is cheating. This breaks the whole color-coding scheme. It's both a flavor AND a color? Bah.
Haven't tried it yet.
Pink
Pink.
Yes, Pink. Do you have a problem with that? Do you? DO YOU?
I have just one problem with it, and that's the fact that it's not available anywhere.
It's supposed to be this Pink Grapefruit flavor - which is cool - but no-one's heard of it outside of the
site. Grrr.
A few more anecdotes:
- Vanilla is a new flavor, even in the UK.
- The cola bottles in the UK are horrendously ugly, like the Coke bottles in Israel in the 80's.
- Virgin's UK site sucks, with very little information.
- They have a line of fruit-pulp-enriched carbonated beverages in Orange, Red Orange and Lemon flavors. Sounds really cool. Anyone going to the UK soon and can get me a bottle or two of these?
- The Japanese Virgin site allows you to order a 350ml bottle of Virgin Cola online. Hmpf