clench
I have been filled with nothing less than angst, bile, and a good measure of anti-sociality for the last few days. Partly because I am cranky about a bunch of people who cannot be discussed here (perhaps in a locked post), and mostly because my urge to run away from it all and be a hermit is rearing its head again. I'm so angsty I'm clenching my jaws in my sleep again, and I know I need to get over myself so that life can resume normality. It's not like being in the mother of all sulks is going to solve anything.
I keep going back to a particular, well-worn fantasy of mine: a luxe, empty and silent hotel room all to myself. No phones, no Internet, nobody nobody nobody around. Even better - a luxe, empty and silent hotel room all to myself in a foreign land where I understand no one and vice-versa (except for the hotel staff, of course). Like Budapest. Wandering around the city and its suburbs for ten straight days, mostly alone and speaking to no one - now that was an adventure and a wonderful, utterly self-centred time for myself.
If only.
I keep going back to a particular, well-worn fantasy of mine: a luxe, empty and silent hotel room all to myself. No phones, no Internet, nobody nobody nobody around. Even better - a luxe, empty and silent hotel room all to myself in a foreign land where I understand no one and vice-versa (except for the hotel staff, of course). Like Budapest. Wandering around the city and its suburbs for ten straight days, mostly alone and speaking to no one - now that was an adventure and a wonderful, utterly self-centred time for myself.
If only.