house arrest
As I type this, the end of confinement is 8 days away, a fact which actually surprises me because when I first began counting down it was something like 22 days away and the sheer misery of that number made me convert it to an hourly countdown instead, a habit I've had since I was a kid. It just seems to move quicker.
Anyway, I'm also surprised by how I've actually come to accept confinement as something I just have to endure (8 days more!) when I thought I'd be really rebellious and flout every single rule. But I've quietly eaten all the food cooked for me (steamed fish and double-boiled soups are coming out of my ears), not stepped out of the flat except for doctor visits (mostly because I have been feeling so blah I don't want to face the outside world anyway), and agreed to avoid certain foods (only because my own mother would nag exhaustively about it).
On the other hand, I've stuck to having my usual two showers a day, although I still have to sneak around with my evening one; and I've obviously continued to touch water (DUH). Some things are just non-negotiable and vital to my mental well-being.
Having a confinement nanny around has also been both very useful and rather stressful. For one thing, neither J nor I have ever lived with a stranger before, let alone a stranger whom you've hired to work in the home. It's a very strange feeling for us. Anyway, three weeks into the deal, we're kind of finally relaxing into it. The nanny is very helpful particularly in the middle of re night, and she takes the housework load off me so I don't have to concern myself with cooking or cleaning. She also taught me how to bathe The Bun (am pleased to announce the screaming is not so severe now) and set up some working systems for us newbie parents.
In a sense I will be both happy and sorry to see her leave, but I think I will feel mostly relieved. We can't communicate very well because she speaks only Mandarin, and Malaysian-accented Mandarin at that. It took me about a week to understand her properly. Also, although her housework is very good, I really can't abide by the way she uses our electricity and water as if they were free. I mentioned it subtly to her a couple of times but my butchered Mandarin doesn't quite cut it, I guess. At least we have a worked out a sort of comfortable civility between ourselves since we spend so much time together. She likes the afternoon soap operas, cooking shows on TV, and the Jon & Kate Plus 8 show on cable, so we talk about easy things like that.
My mother on the other hand seems to be locked in some sort of alpha-female competition with her, where they compare soup recipes and stupid confinement theories and traditions to see who has more experience or whatever. My mother doesn't actually have any experience apart from what she went through when she had me and my sister, but suddenly she has all these 'aunty' friends who tell her all sorts of things. It drives me nuts because everything seems based on hearsay and there is no leading authority on the matter. I can't take these things seriously at all, and this unsolicited 'I know it all' advice is ridiculous, and one of the big reasons why I'm just waiting for confinement to end.
At least the nanny does seem to have genuine affection for The Bun, and that's good. I highly doubt I will hire another confinement nanny should J and I have another baby, and to look on the positive side, having her around helped me ease into new motherhood a bit more comfortably. After she's gone I'm going to get a part-time cleaner to relieve some of the housework load, but otherwise it will just be me and The Bun. I know I can fulfill his basic needs and keep him alive, but balancing my needs and many other things... new challenges ahead. The fun never stops, eh.
Posted via LiveJournal.app.
Anyway, I'm also surprised by how I've actually come to accept confinement as something I just have to endure (8 days more!) when I thought I'd be really rebellious and flout every single rule. But I've quietly eaten all the food cooked for me (steamed fish and double-boiled soups are coming out of my ears), not stepped out of the flat except for doctor visits (mostly because I have been feeling so blah I don't want to face the outside world anyway), and agreed to avoid certain foods (only because my own mother would nag exhaustively about it).
On the other hand, I've stuck to having my usual two showers a day, although I still have to sneak around with my evening one; and I've obviously continued to touch water (DUH). Some things are just non-negotiable and vital to my mental well-being.
Having a confinement nanny around has also been both very useful and rather stressful. For one thing, neither J nor I have ever lived with a stranger before, let alone a stranger whom you've hired to work in the home. It's a very strange feeling for us. Anyway, three weeks into the deal, we're kind of finally relaxing into it. The nanny is very helpful particularly in the middle of re night, and she takes the housework load off me so I don't have to concern myself with cooking or cleaning. She also taught me how to bathe The Bun (am pleased to announce the screaming is not so severe now) and set up some working systems for us newbie parents.
In a sense I will be both happy and sorry to see her leave, but I think I will feel mostly relieved. We can't communicate very well because she speaks only Mandarin, and Malaysian-accented Mandarin at that. It took me about a week to understand her properly. Also, although her housework is very good, I really can't abide by the way she uses our electricity and water as if they were free. I mentioned it subtly to her a couple of times but my butchered Mandarin doesn't quite cut it, I guess. At least we have a worked out a sort of comfortable civility between ourselves since we spend so much time together. She likes the afternoon soap operas, cooking shows on TV, and the Jon & Kate Plus 8 show on cable, so we talk about easy things like that.
My mother on the other hand seems to be locked in some sort of alpha-female competition with her, where they compare soup recipes and stupid confinement theories and traditions to see who has more experience or whatever. My mother doesn't actually have any experience apart from what she went through when she had me and my sister, but suddenly she has all these 'aunty' friends who tell her all sorts of things. It drives me nuts because everything seems based on hearsay and there is no leading authority on the matter. I can't take these things seriously at all, and this unsolicited 'I know it all' advice is ridiculous, and one of the big reasons why I'm just waiting for confinement to end.
At least the nanny does seem to have genuine affection for The Bun, and that's good. I highly doubt I will hire another confinement nanny should J and I have another baby, and to look on the positive side, having her around helped me ease into new motherhood a bit more comfortably. After she's gone I'm going to get a part-time cleaner to relieve some of the housework load, but otherwise it will just be me and The Bun. I know I can fulfill his basic needs and keep him alive, but balancing my needs and many other things... new challenges ahead. The fun never stops, eh.
Posted via LiveJournal.app.