little earthquakes
J and I spent the weekend in a mild state of sticker shock - the easiest money to earn does come from parental pockets! We haven't bought anything for The Bun yet, not even clothes, but it's fun to look around getting an eyeful of all the stuff available for a baby. When the actual time for wallet burn comes, it will probably be not so much fun, heh heh. Thankfully some friends have alerted me to the fact that many baby things, like milk bottles or strollers and carseats, can be cheaper overseas, especially in Europe. Just as well J and I are headed that way next month - we can stock up, have a last holiday on our own (for a while at least), and lug everything home.
It was also a weekend of walking, exploring, and talking, just us, on our own. As the idea of The Bun looms larger every week, I've also begun coming to terms with the fact that life as I know (and love) right now will change crazily once there's a baby in it. While I would never wish that we didn't have The Bun to look forward to (only five months more, time moves scarily quick), I'm also feeling a bit wistful, the way I usually am about transitions. Impromptu drives at midnight for supper, weekend sleep-ins, the warmth of a dual cocoon that seems like a special secret between us - all this might not necessarily disappear, but they will be different. Right now, I bask in every moment J and I have alone, even if we're only doing something very mundane like eating dinner at the neighbourhood kopitiam. In a way, appreciating these last five months we have to ourselves is like a long celebration of our relationship before it moves on to the next stage. Talking about The Bun makes J beam in a way I have never seen, and his smile always shines a light into any clouds I might have in my head. Him, me and The Bun, I think we're going to be okay.
I've also been thinking a lot about the potential changes that I will undergo, both in terms of personality, body-image, and lifestyle. So many women out there declare that they won't 'lose their identity' once they have a baby, and I don't think this identity is truly 'lost' but it will certainly be buried for a bit, especially since having a newborn is akin to having an earthquake in your life. Priorities inevitably change. And there's also a new dimension of your personality to consider - I won't just be a [insert hip adjective] woman, but also mother (!!), responsible adult, worrier, etc. So many new facets of a personality to juggle! Whenever I find myself stressing myself about these new changes, I try to imagine myself as an old lady, wherever and however I may end up. It reminds me of the cliché that life is ultimately about change, and growing from one phase to another. As much as I may feel apprehensive about change, remaining stagnant in terms of personal growth is much scarier for me.
I hardly ever embrace change, but I do prepare for it, overthink it, and then close my eyes and just go with it.
It was also a weekend of walking, exploring, and talking, just us, on our own. As the idea of The Bun looms larger every week, I've also begun coming to terms with the fact that life as I know (and love) right now will change crazily once there's a baby in it. While I would never wish that we didn't have The Bun to look forward to (only five months more, time moves scarily quick), I'm also feeling a bit wistful, the way I usually am about transitions. Impromptu drives at midnight for supper, weekend sleep-ins, the warmth of a dual cocoon that seems like a special secret between us - all this might not necessarily disappear, but they will be different. Right now, I bask in every moment J and I have alone, even if we're only doing something very mundane like eating dinner at the neighbourhood kopitiam. In a way, appreciating these last five months we have to ourselves is like a long celebration of our relationship before it moves on to the next stage. Talking about The Bun makes J beam in a way I have never seen, and his smile always shines a light into any clouds I might have in my head. Him, me and The Bun, I think we're going to be okay.
I've also been thinking a lot about the potential changes that I will undergo, both in terms of personality, body-image, and lifestyle. So many women out there declare that they won't 'lose their identity' once they have a baby, and I don't think this identity is truly 'lost' but it will certainly be buried for a bit, especially since having a newborn is akin to having an earthquake in your life. Priorities inevitably change. And there's also a new dimension of your personality to consider - I won't just be a [insert hip adjective] woman, but also mother (!!), responsible adult, worrier, etc. So many new facets of a personality to juggle! Whenever I find myself stressing myself about these new changes, I try to imagine myself as an old lady, wherever and however I may end up. It reminds me of the cliché that life is ultimately about change, and growing from one phase to another. As much as I may feel apprehensive about change, remaining stagnant in terms of personal growth is much scarier for me.
I hardly ever embrace change, but I do prepare for it, overthink it, and then close my eyes and just go with it.