Unfortunately, Redux

Dec 10, 2008 19:52

TITLE: Unfortunately, Redux ( Read more... )

r: pg13, &whore!verse

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psyches_muse December 13 2008, 05:57:45 UTC
okay. i think i can leave a proper comment now LOL

just random things that i noticed (i think i've read it like 4x now so i THINK i caught everything...haha)

most interesting Criminal Law courses, but is considered
Shige smiles, "Of course. I don't have class for another hour and a half."
restaurants in Shibuya, where each
Ryo is somehow able to weasel
unbuckling Shige's belt
But I know you're tired."

now that that's all done. i'd like to say that i think my favorite part of your fics are the little details that make it so REAL to me even though it's AU.

for example, this line "Shige ends up crashing early, on the couch, while Ryo watches Utaban and berates KAT-TUN for being stupid, even though they can't hear him."
that part about KAT-TUN you didn't have to add it, you could have just said Ryo watched a tv show. But little things like that really make it

i love that it sorta came full circle again, with shige thinking about becoming a whore again, except this time he had to think about his relationship with ryo. i was like aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah shigeeeeeeee.

Ryo places a hand on Shige's knee and squeezes, "I know you don't want to be kept. I know that. And I'm not trying to force you into anything. But... rely on me. Let me help you."

i love that line so much ;_; it's so easy to make ryo go overboard angry or overboard upset but he was just the right amount of emotional and caring without being a sissy about it. just in that little bit the whole feeling that ryo really really cares and understands comes through really well.

when shige says 'ok' during hotpot about moving into the apartment. i was like A;SLDNGA;LFDKNGA;FLDNGA;GF. I LOVE when you have little tidbits like this, saying so much by saying so little, in little parts that could have been cut out altogether, but by keeping them make the story all the more real.

And I love that all ryo does is hug shige when he says okay :D it could have turned into sex, but it seems so much sweeter that way <3

overall i think what i love most is the fact that you can take random, very realistic things like tuition mix-ups and random calls to the mother and just make it SO REAL because these are the things people forget when they write stories, that there is always an afterstory to the 'getting together'.

misticloud and i were not kidding when we said you were the gem of the nishikato ficdom <333

hope you did great on all your finals :D

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yey_yey December 13 2008, 06:58:09 UTC
AAHHHHHH, WHY DO I FAIL SO HARD AT MY OWN LANGUAGE D:

But thank you nevertheless for pointing those mistake out. I'm definitely going to go back and fix those >_<

misticloud and i were not kidding when we said you were the gem of the nishikato ficdom
S;FDASDFAJS; ♥
*dies again*

Also, tonight, in the middle of dinner with my friends, I got an idea for a drabble, and I wanted to punch myself, because I keep coming up with new ideas, when I have the most giant writer's block ever with this other chapter I have half-written :|

Oh, and I love your icon :3

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