everything changes and they remain the same
title: everything changes and they remain the same
pairing: edward/bella, jacob/bella
rating: g
summary: It wasn't a surprise, really, when she wished that eternity wasn't as long as it should be, but promises are promises and breaking them was something she couldn't do.
Her lips are too cold, her face is too pale.
He can't read her (like he could ever) and wonders if he did the right thing.
I'm fine, she says. I'm fine. Everything will be fine, the same.
She made the right choice didn't she?
She finds doubts lying next to her in her marriage bed.
*
It gets hotter and it gets colder, but it never makes a difference.
She holds herself together as he yearns to find out what's wrong.
What do you want from me, Bella? he asks and asks, his hands tousling his bronze hair, clear frustration evident in his dark eyes.
She says that she's fine and kisses him lightly on the mouth, reassuringly.
Her mind screams to say everything.
*
Her marriage bed gets colder and colder and nothing warms it up.
Minutes pass like hours and days pass like weeks. She begins to lose track of time, track of herself, track of anything.
It's useless to even try.
*
Why did you want this Bella? Alice asks her one day.
Because I love him.
Even she knows that's a lie, now.
*
She though of eternity without thinking and more of an abstract form, like the stars in the skies and (of course) the time she will spent with him.
Him, the purpose of her existence, her soul, the incessant th-thumping of her heart. Eternity was no feat for her, in fact, she welcomed it with open arms (but never an open mind.)
It wasn't a surprise, really, when she wished that eternity wasn't as long as it should be, but promises are promises and breaking them was something she couldn't do.
Not something she planned for.
*
She finds herself dreaming.
Dreaming of things she can't have but suddenly wants.
The image of warm hands send her into a frenzy and she can't control herself.
*
EdwardandBella. EdwardandBella.
It's almost like a fairy tale, almost.
They find themselves quiet, talking about the news, the weather, safe things.
She asks him what happened and he replies that he doesn't know.
It's not a secret anymore.
*
He tries and tries and tries.
She lies and lies and lies.
Bella, do you love me?
Of course, that's why I chose this life.
*
No one believes her anymore.
It's not like they ever did.
*
How much longer can they continue?
*
He realized he made a mistake, the worst decision he ever made.
Maybe they both wanted this, but that was back then and this is now.
And now is a time where they tiptoe around each other and every kiss and touch is hope for something better that will never come.
*
Will you leave me, Bella?
Of course not, don't be ridiculous.
*
The years, they stretch on but they remain the same.
*
Spontaneity: the quality of being spontaneous and coming from natural feelings without constraint.
She finds herself watching him, still young and beautiful and alive, with a beating heart.
She wonders how life would've been different and how somebody would be calling her mommy if she would've stayed with him.
*
I know what you're doing Bella. It's not safe.
Honestly, I'd rather die at this point than be confined to this life.
You wanted this, he replies coldly before leaving the room.
I never though it was going to be like this.
The wall has a hole from his punch.
*
It was a dark and stormy night, the day she left.
Apologies didn't count when breaking promises, so she left her wedding ring in his (no longer their) bed.
Funny thing is that he understood.
*
Her hair was wet, her eyes gold as she walked towards the small house she once loved.
He looked the same, yet his face was matured but still the same Jacob she left so many years back.
And it felt like she was never gone.
*
I stayed young for you, he admits.
So did I.