(no subject)

[yetidie]

I had a dream last night.. Jake and this chick that was his girlfriend and I were eating some place.. and she dumps me on thier behalf.. we were kind of in a trio thing.. I was a little bit upset because I thought Jake and I were closer than to have his woman speak on thier behalf.. annd yeah I was hurt cause I care for jake.. but I understood.. it was all a part of the arrangement.. I knew it would end. So I started to leave.. and jake followed me.. I was trying to get away so I could cry.. I told him I wasn't upset about the dumpping.. I was upset that he didn't tell me since we were closer than me and the girl.. but I just wanted to be alone for a little bit.. he kept following me appologizing.. and all I wanted to do is shed some tears.. because I understood but to never be with jake still it hurt.. I had grown accustomed to his touch.. when I woke up I at first though what is he doing here?? For wanting to no longer be withme he sure is following me everywhere.. still needs to sleep next to me.. just the emotion had to be removed from it.. then I was like why isn't his girlfriend here (she had no name though in my dream I'd known her as long as I've known jake) I almost woke him up to kick him out of my bed before I realized I was at his house and it was all a dream...

I appologized to jakes parents because we'll be breaking up because were on two diffrent paths.. mostly it's the having kids idea.. I want it soon and I want non-bastard kids.. he doesn't want kids and doesn't belive in marriage.. so we can't survive.. I can wait a year for the kids.. but the non-bastard thing is very important to me. though our not being able to move in with eachother he came up with the solution.. a duplex.. I was shocked with how well that worked out.. almost seems like he's been thinking about how we can manage to be together..