Backsheesh!
I hate it. I hate the word. I hate backsheesh culture. I hate the concept. No, I don’t. I like the concept. The concept is good. The reality is not. But, this was the Egyptian experience for me. A mind numbing swirl of confusion, contradiction, ethical dilemma, weighing out personal desires and needs with the needs around me. I probably thought about things way to much on our Egyptian trip. If I had just gone with the flow, maybe things would have been easier. But, what everything that happened was just so overwhelming. It was a place like no other I have been to. I thought Turkey was quite a cultural change. Comparatively, it was not. Egypt is Turkey times 1000! It’s an extreme place…from searing temperatures to insane traffic to mental games…I have come back from there completely drained.
Backsheesh is an odd, vague entity. The idea is that one should give small amounts of money to others who are in need, as alms, as a tip, whatever. It doesn’t really have a clear definition. The intent is nice…to share, to help, to show a certain amount of respect. But, this idea has lost ALL meaning in the heavy tourist areas that we spent much of our time in. It has been warped. It’s a mental game, and it’s exhausting. Constantly having to watch seemingly everyone around you, and keep abreast of tricks and conniving and out and out lying in order to get money. I didn’t feel like a human. I felt like a bank machine. I was not respected. I was not treated humanely. I often felt preyed upon. I had to be “on” all the time in order to make sure that I wasn’t ripped off! Now, others seemed very able to just shut it all out, and not let it bother them, on the surface. Me, on the other hand, had a tough time with it all.
The thing is, I can see WHY people would be acting this way. This is the poorest place I have ever seen. I have seen extreme poverty in Turkey, or at least what I thought was. But, there, it’s unreal. And, there are many countries out there that are FAR worse off. What would I do if I had no money and had to eat? How far would I go? But, then, the game continued. People who DIDN’T need the money as badly as others would be aggressive and greedy, while others who could clearly use the money…weren’t. Why? So, how could I make sure that when I gave money, it would end up in the hands of someone who could REALLY use it, which is what I wanted. The idea of someone swindling me, or getting our money in a dishonest way, when someone who really needed it should get it made me very angry.
When we first arrived in Cairo, we stayed at a hotel just across from the pyramids of Giza…in…well, Giza. I must say, it was quite posh. I had never stayed in a hotel like it. Can’t say I would ever really strive to again. It was a gated, fenced in, heavily secured hotel for rich Europeans. How we ended up there, I’m not sure. Well, I do know. We purchased a travel package. This was part of the package. We asked for this hotel because we were concerned about reviews we had read for the first hotel we had been booked in to long before we got on the plane. What we ended up in was a big surprise to me. It was a holiday resort. It had it all. The pool, the cheesy little bar that would hire “local” bands to play watered down Egyptian music that usually fed right into the typical stereotypes of the culture. That extended to the outfits that many of the staff wore to give an Egyptian feel to what appeared to be a French owned hotel. If you wanted Mexican food…no problem. If you wanted American food…no problem. If you wanted English food…no problem. If you wanted Egyptian food…you came to the wrong place. I take that back. I did see falafel balls at breakfast one day. Speaking of food, they had a tremendous breakfast buffet filled with everything anyone could possibly want to eat…er…except Egyptian food. It was crazy how much food there was. But outside? It was a different world. There were people who couldn’t afford food, and they weren’t that far away. How would I feel if I knew that behind a wall, not far away, Westerners were eating like Kings, while I starved outside? It just did not feel right. Then, I would leave the hotel. As soon as my feet got outside of the walls, I was bombarded. The first night wasn’t bad. I went out late, and I went down side streets. That was good. I didn’t see many people, and the people I did see were nice. I ended up lost. These four guys who were sitting on the side of a road across from a mosque were eating fish and asking me to join them. Well, the one guy did. The other guys didn’t look too thrilled that I was there. I offered them money, and was told they didn’t need it. They just wanted to share. The fish was good. Probably if I were smart, I wouldn’t actually accept fish from strangers on the side of the road in Cairo…but, I did. So, that all went well. My walks down the side streets were fairly tame. It was the main “drag” sorta speak that was brutal. Like I said, as soon as I stepped out from those walls, it was a throng of people trying to get me into a taxi, a perfume shop, a papyrus “museum”, their buddies restaurant, some convenience store. It was literally impossible to walk. There was someone on me the whole time. It was suffocating. It made me angry. But at the same time, I wanted to be respectful of the culture. In a week its difficult to get a handle of a culture. I didn’t want to be rude to people. I was told that there was a higher level of aggressiveness. I just wasn’t really prepared, mentally, for it. I am more naïve than I thought I was, I would say. People knew what to say, how to get me look at them, or talk to them, or something. Mind you, even if they didn’t, they just followed me anyway and kept talking. I just tried to let it go. I just tried to accept it. But, it wore me down, man! By the end, I didn’t know what was going on. I felt like my mind was being screwed with. Just when it would seem that EVERYONE was out to get me, someone would come along and do something nice. Then, I didn’t know what to do! Someone doing something nice without expecting something??? It couldn’t be…could it??
It didn’t matter what tourist site we went to, there were people there, both inside and out, trying to get their hands on our money. More often than not, it was employees and security guards! So many of them would do what they could to grab your attention, and try to do something “nice” for you, like show you a great place to stand to get a photo. And, if you did this, you were EXPECTED to hand over backsheesh. We wouldn’t go along with it. But, that didn’t stop them. Then they would try something like physically grabbing me to put me in the spot to take the picture!!! It made me mad. It created a situation where I had trouble enjoying things. I could just stand and look at something. If I stopped for a second, I would be pounced on. It may sound like an exaggeration…but it isn’t. At the same time, we would drive through villages on the way to some of these sites, and the poverty we saw was just…hard for me to believe. I don’t even know how to describe it. People living in little shacks put together with whatever could be found, no shoes, worn out clothes, no food, maybe a donkey for transportation, and to help with whatever work could be done. The need is there. We would drive by these folks in a brand new air conditioned mini van with a driver and a tour guide. They sat out in the sweltering heat, living in utter poverty. How could this be?? It was too much at times. To know that we are there, essentially living in luxury, coming through their town, not to stop and help, but to get to the next tourist site.
But, then, at the next tourist site, it was a bombardment again. There would be small groups of men who would be very forceful and very aggressive. We were at one pyramid…called a steppe pyramid…and these guys wanted me to take their picture. I was trying to be very polite and tell them no. But, they didn’t care. They pushed their way in front of the camera, they made sure I took their picture. Then they grabbed Elyssa took her hate and shoved on a fake sheikh headcovering. So, at this point we played along. And of course, at the end, they wanted backsheesh. So, I gave them a bit…but, no, that wasn’t enough. They wanted more. I think this was the worst one for me. This was what I learnt from the most. I would never get sucked in THAT bad again. And, I felt bad for Elyssa. Like she pointed out, though the men weren’t actually groping her, she knew that in society, the level of touching that went on would be unacceptable between a man and a woman in public. We had read and were told that the two of us should not show public affection because it was disrespectful. So, this led to more aggravation. We felt violated. We felt taken advantage of, in many ways. It makes me mad still to think of it. But this was just early on in our travels. There was still plenty more to come. From trying to get us to buy foreign currency, to literally throwing their crappy goods at us, calling it a gift and then expecting to be paid, to security guards trying to scam money out of us, to…you name it.
But…but…but….as you can see it’s a back and forth struggle.
The sites were amazing, there is no doubt about that. I mean, we saw the pyramids…the pyramids…in Egypt. It was so surreal. There we were, on the edge of the desert, looking up at the…pyramids…the same ones we have seen all our lives in pictures, on TV, on…whatever. We were there. We were in front of the sphinx. We saw temples. We went to the valley of the kings! We saw ruins and riches and amazing wonders practically from one end of the Nile to the other. It was incredible. All of what we saw was incredible. What was even more incredible was that it was just the tip of the iceberg. Sure, we saw some of the major sites, but we passed by so many interesting smaller sites from different periods of time…be it Byzantine, Coptic/Christian, Islamic, Ottoman, Colonial, what have you…there just seemed to be so much to see. But, it wasn’t just all of the history. It was also trying to see as much as one can see on a tour to the major sites, of what Egyptians TODAY live like.
There are very wealthy areas in Cairo. There are wealthy areas in many of the major towns along the Nile. Again, it is a case of the rich being RICH and the poor being very poor. Those with money were doing very well. Those without, weren’t. And the majority were those without. Much like there is in Turkey, Egypt seems to be a divided nation. A large part is looking at more traditional Islamic life and government. The other is a modern, westernized group. Strong, traditional, fundementalist Islamic ideals seem to be winning out. In Turkey, the divide is there, but fundementalism hasn’t gained the ground that it has in Egypt. The future of the country will be interesting.
There will be more to come.
Backsheesh is an odd, vague entity. The idea is that one should give small amounts of money to others who are in need, as alms, as a tip, whatever. It doesn’t really have a clear definition. The intent is nice…to share, to help, to show a certain amount of respect. But, this idea has lost ALL meaning in the heavy tourist areas that we spent much of our time in. It has been warped. It’s a mental game, and it’s exhausting. Constantly having to watch seemingly everyone around you, and keep abreast of tricks and conniving and out and out lying in order to get money. I didn’t feel like a human. I felt like a bank machine. I was not respected. I was not treated humanely. I often felt preyed upon. I had to be “on” all the time in order to make sure that I wasn’t ripped off! Now, others seemed very able to just shut it all out, and not let it bother them, on the surface. Me, on the other hand, had a tough time with it all.
The thing is, I can see WHY people would be acting this way. This is the poorest place I have ever seen. I have seen extreme poverty in Turkey, or at least what I thought was. But, there, it’s unreal. And, there are many countries out there that are FAR worse off. What would I do if I had no money and had to eat? How far would I go? But, then, the game continued. People who DIDN’T need the money as badly as others would be aggressive and greedy, while others who could clearly use the money…weren’t. Why? So, how could I make sure that when I gave money, it would end up in the hands of someone who could REALLY use it, which is what I wanted. The idea of someone swindling me, or getting our money in a dishonest way, when someone who really needed it should get it made me very angry.
When we first arrived in Cairo, we stayed at a hotel just across from the pyramids of Giza…in…well, Giza. I must say, it was quite posh. I had never stayed in a hotel like it. Can’t say I would ever really strive to again. It was a gated, fenced in, heavily secured hotel for rich Europeans. How we ended up there, I’m not sure. Well, I do know. We purchased a travel package. This was part of the package. We asked for this hotel because we were concerned about reviews we had read for the first hotel we had been booked in to long before we got on the plane. What we ended up in was a big surprise to me. It was a holiday resort. It had it all. The pool, the cheesy little bar that would hire “local” bands to play watered down Egyptian music that usually fed right into the typical stereotypes of the culture. That extended to the outfits that many of the staff wore to give an Egyptian feel to what appeared to be a French owned hotel. If you wanted Mexican food…no problem. If you wanted American food…no problem. If you wanted English food…no problem. If you wanted Egyptian food…you came to the wrong place. I take that back. I did see falafel balls at breakfast one day. Speaking of food, they had a tremendous breakfast buffet filled with everything anyone could possibly want to eat…er…except Egyptian food. It was crazy how much food there was. But outside? It was a different world. There were people who couldn’t afford food, and they weren’t that far away. How would I feel if I knew that behind a wall, not far away, Westerners were eating like Kings, while I starved outside? It just did not feel right. Then, I would leave the hotel. As soon as my feet got outside of the walls, I was bombarded. The first night wasn’t bad. I went out late, and I went down side streets. That was good. I didn’t see many people, and the people I did see were nice. I ended up lost. These four guys who were sitting on the side of a road across from a mosque were eating fish and asking me to join them. Well, the one guy did. The other guys didn’t look too thrilled that I was there. I offered them money, and was told they didn’t need it. They just wanted to share. The fish was good. Probably if I were smart, I wouldn’t actually accept fish from strangers on the side of the road in Cairo…but, I did. So, that all went well. My walks down the side streets were fairly tame. It was the main “drag” sorta speak that was brutal. Like I said, as soon as I stepped out from those walls, it was a throng of people trying to get me into a taxi, a perfume shop, a papyrus “museum”, their buddies restaurant, some convenience store. It was literally impossible to walk. There was someone on me the whole time. It was suffocating. It made me angry. But at the same time, I wanted to be respectful of the culture. In a week its difficult to get a handle of a culture. I didn’t want to be rude to people. I was told that there was a higher level of aggressiveness. I just wasn’t really prepared, mentally, for it. I am more naïve than I thought I was, I would say. People knew what to say, how to get me look at them, or talk to them, or something. Mind you, even if they didn’t, they just followed me anyway and kept talking. I just tried to let it go. I just tried to accept it. But, it wore me down, man! By the end, I didn’t know what was going on. I felt like my mind was being screwed with. Just when it would seem that EVERYONE was out to get me, someone would come along and do something nice. Then, I didn’t know what to do! Someone doing something nice without expecting something??? It couldn’t be…could it??
It didn’t matter what tourist site we went to, there were people there, both inside and out, trying to get their hands on our money. More often than not, it was employees and security guards! So many of them would do what they could to grab your attention, and try to do something “nice” for you, like show you a great place to stand to get a photo. And, if you did this, you were EXPECTED to hand over backsheesh. We wouldn’t go along with it. But, that didn’t stop them. Then they would try something like physically grabbing me to put me in the spot to take the picture!!! It made me mad. It created a situation where I had trouble enjoying things. I could just stand and look at something. If I stopped for a second, I would be pounced on. It may sound like an exaggeration…but it isn’t. At the same time, we would drive through villages on the way to some of these sites, and the poverty we saw was just…hard for me to believe. I don’t even know how to describe it. People living in little shacks put together with whatever could be found, no shoes, worn out clothes, no food, maybe a donkey for transportation, and to help with whatever work could be done. The need is there. We would drive by these folks in a brand new air conditioned mini van with a driver and a tour guide. They sat out in the sweltering heat, living in utter poverty. How could this be?? It was too much at times. To know that we are there, essentially living in luxury, coming through their town, not to stop and help, but to get to the next tourist site.
But, then, at the next tourist site, it was a bombardment again. There would be small groups of men who would be very forceful and very aggressive. We were at one pyramid…called a steppe pyramid…and these guys wanted me to take their picture. I was trying to be very polite and tell them no. But, they didn’t care. They pushed their way in front of the camera, they made sure I took their picture. Then they grabbed Elyssa took her hate and shoved on a fake sheikh headcovering. So, at this point we played along. And of course, at the end, they wanted backsheesh. So, I gave them a bit…but, no, that wasn’t enough. They wanted more. I think this was the worst one for me. This was what I learnt from the most. I would never get sucked in THAT bad again. And, I felt bad for Elyssa. Like she pointed out, though the men weren’t actually groping her, she knew that in society, the level of touching that went on would be unacceptable between a man and a woman in public. We had read and were told that the two of us should not show public affection because it was disrespectful. So, this led to more aggravation. We felt violated. We felt taken advantage of, in many ways. It makes me mad still to think of it. But this was just early on in our travels. There was still plenty more to come. From trying to get us to buy foreign currency, to literally throwing their crappy goods at us, calling it a gift and then expecting to be paid, to security guards trying to scam money out of us, to…you name it.
But…but…but….as you can see it’s a back and forth struggle.
The sites were amazing, there is no doubt about that. I mean, we saw the pyramids…the pyramids…in Egypt. It was so surreal. There we were, on the edge of the desert, looking up at the…pyramids…the same ones we have seen all our lives in pictures, on TV, on…whatever. We were there. We were in front of the sphinx. We saw temples. We went to the valley of the kings! We saw ruins and riches and amazing wonders practically from one end of the Nile to the other. It was incredible. All of what we saw was incredible. What was even more incredible was that it was just the tip of the iceberg. Sure, we saw some of the major sites, but we passed by so many interesting smaller sites from different periods of time…be it Byzantine, Coptic/Christian, Islamic, Ottoman, Colonial, what have you…there just seemed to be so much to see. But, it wasn’t just all of the history. It was also trying to see as much as one can see on a tour to the major sites, of what Egyptians TODAY live like.
There are very wealthy areas in Cairo. There are wealthy areas in many of the major towns along the Nile. Again, it is a case of the rich being RICH and the poor being very poor. Those with money were doing very well. Those without, weren’t. And the majority were those without. Much like there is in Turkey, Egypt seems to be a divided nation. A large part is looking at more traditional Islamic life and government. The other is a modern, westernized group. Strong, traditional, fundementalist Islamic ideals seem to be winning out. In Turkey, the divide is there, but fundementalism hasn’t gained the ground that it has in Egypt. The future of the country will be interesting.
There will be more to come.