It Came From the Backyard!
Thinking nothing's gonna stop him now, should I want to I'm not sure I would know how... I'm UNDER ATTACK!!
To start from the beginning, let's rewind to yesterday afternoon. I'm almost out the door to work, when I spot a ginormous cockroach (let's name him "Deter") roaming the kitchen floor. I went to the cabinet where we always kept our bug spray, there instead was my liquor which had moved since the painting. Poison nowhere to be found. My family strikes again. I grabbed some paper towels, crept up behind him... and SMASHED him!! Only when I lifted my hand he just scurried off like nothing had happened. He fled under the couch in the living room... only when I moved it... he was gone.
The next night (last night) when I came home from work, I flipped the lightswitch in my room and who was crawling around the wall near the ceiling above my bed but Deter. After collecting myself, I went to the kitchen, grabbed some more paper towels and the biggest trash can I could find. I held the trash can under him against the wall, hoping he would drop into it. However, as I got closer... he lept up and flew at my head. FLEW! I didn't even know they could do that!! I have a *%$#ing FLYING cockroach in my house!!! (Why can't I just have moved out by now??) So naturally I yelped like a sissy and dropped down. Only the huge trashcan landed on my shoulder, leaving a nasty gash.
On attempt number 2, I kept my distance... sure enough, Deter flew into the air again and boomeranged back onto the wall. Then he dropped to floor behind my bed. I dragged the bed away from the wall, and he scurried across the room behind my desk. Fed up, I raced to Ralph's, bought some bug spray and raced back home. Thus began my hunt.
I kept vigilance for a couple hours in my room, spray at the ready. However Deter has yet to show his buttugly face again. Unable to find peace in my own room, I slept on the couch in the den. We will meet again soon, I know it. And this time, it's personal...
To start from the beginning, let's rewind to yesterday afternoon. I'm almost out the door to work, when I spot a ginormous cockroach (let's name him "Deter") roaming the kitchen floor. I went to the cabinet where we always kept our bug spray, there instead was my liquor which had moved since the painting. Poison nowhere to be found. My family strikes again. I grabbed some paper towels, crept up behind him... and SMASHED him!! Only when I lifted my hand he just scurried off like nothing had happened. He fled under the couch in the living room... only when I moved it... he was gone.
The next night (last night) when I came home from work, I flipped the lightswitch in my room and who was crawling around the wall near the ceiling above my bed but Deter. After collecting myself, I went to the kitchen, grabbed some more paper towels and the biggest trash can I could find. I held the trash can under him against the wall, hoping he would drop into it. However, as I got closer... he lept up and flew at my head. FLEW! I didn't even know they could do that!! I have a *%$#ing FLYING cockroach in my house!!! (Why can't I just have moved out by now??) So naturally I yelped like a sissy and dropped down. Only the huge trashcan landed on my shoulder, leaving a nasty gash.
On attempt number 2, I kept my distance... sure enough, Deter flew into the air again and boomeranged back onto the wall. Then he dropped to floor behind my bed. I dragged the bed away from the wall, and he scurried across the room behind my desk. Fed up, I raced to Ralph's, bought some bug spray and raced back home. Thus began my hunt.
I kept vigilance for a couple hours in my room, spray at the ready. However Deter has yet to show his buttugly face again. Unable to find peace in my own room, I slept on the couch in the den. We will meet again soon, I know it. And this time, it's personal...