career ups and downs
so for the last few weeks i have been trying like hell to get my attitude to a place of contentment with my job. i don't talk too much about my job on here but today i received a meeting request to discuss my role and how i can do better. my role is actually senior designer and i have spent the last year and a half doing whatever i needed to do to
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We all pay the price for coasting eventually... I paid it for staying at Microsoft for 10 years longer than I should have, and if you recall my anguished posts from last year you'll remember I went through a similar dark time.
It was a royal bitch, but the outcome was good.
Interestingly it was Responsys that snapped me out of my stupor: when you referred me to them and Wacarra totally blew me off, it made me really think about what I was doing: instead of taking a measured approach to finding something that I really wanted to do with my life, I was basically begging for table scraps from someone who I probably wouldn't have hired for an entry-level role at a company with a mission that repulsed me.
You ignored a lot of deep life stuff for a really long time as well, but you've spent the last year waking yourself up. Now that you're awake it's a different world, huh? :) Yes, companies like Responsys are the cesspools of creative endeavor. But even in cesspools you can gain skills and good experience, you just need to work hard at figuring out your next move.
If it's at all possible I'd suggest trying to salvage your current situation while you look for something better -- blame your outburst on the stress of everything else going on in your life. Don't be ashamed to say you're in therapy and dealing with some serious issues -- it can help keep you from being terminated.
And start looking for a better job. It took me 8 months to exit Microsoft and it was 8 months of intense work with a lot of shit, but ultimately it was the best decision I've ever made because working there was wrecking my soul. Post-Microsoft one year, my soul is restored. Yours can be too. :)
You're awake now, just try not take the nuclear option as you're trying to turn the ship around.
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i dont think ive blown up quite so terrifically just yet. im sure im on an expedited time table now but i will be able to figure something else out quickly. I can always go back and contract with Filter for a few months while still searching for the right fit. my issue has always been that i have a hard time working on my own promotional work. i need to start carving out time in the evenings to build a better portfolio.
what i would really like is to be able to find someone for some mentorship so that im not just blindly jumping from one ship to another.
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Tonight would be a fine night to start, yes? ;-)
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