Dear people who live next door to me:
I am all about fucking. Seriously, sex is awesome and I am happy that you guys have an active sex life.
But I swear to God if I have to hear your dirty talk or banging one more time I am going to beat the fuck out of you. Seriously.
Have some decency. Seriously. You guys have a kid. That kid? They can probably hear you. The walls in this place are thin. I can hear your dirty talk, and your headboard thumps so loudly I can feel it through the walls. Seriously, when my roommate's boyfriend stays over I can hear them and they're across the hall and attempting to be quiet. I know your kid can hear you, and I'm sure that would mortify you if you had any common decency and thought about people other than you.
Also, homie, methinks you might need some ExtenZe or something because five minutes does not a winner make.
But I swear to God if I have to hear your dirty talk or banging one more time I am going to beat the fuck out of you. Seriously.
Have some decency. Seriously. You guys have a kid. That kid? They can probably hear you. The walls in this place are thin. I can hear your dirty talk, and your headboard thumps so loudly I can feel it through the walls. Seriously, when my roommate's boyfriend stays over I can hear them and they're across the hall and attempting to be quiet. I know your kid can hear you, and I'm sure that would mortify you if you had any common decency and thought about people other than you.
Also, homie, methinks you might need some ExtenZe or something because five minutes does not a winner make.