My Try at Stand-Up, take 1
(okay, i'm taking time out of my term paper to do this, my first try at stand-up routine, let's just see...)
So, I was walking around the mall this past weekend pretending as if I have a life, and lo and behold I discover something:
There is a store called Filene's... notdone yet...
WAIT FOR IT....
Basement.
Oh
my
iTunes.
WTF?!?!?
Honestly, how degrading is that? Filene's BASEMENT. That's the name of the store. Seriously. I mean, what?! Was Filene's SHIT-HOLE taken?!?!
I mean, what was the meeting to discuss the name like? "Uhm, ok, so we have cheaper, used crap, but what can we do to attract the customers who are too poor for Filene's but wanna have something to wear to funerals."
"...OOH I GOT IT! Filene's... umm... LOWER!"
"Good one! But how about.. Filene's: NOT REALLY!"
Well yeah, as far as names go they could've gone much worse. But stil, they couldn't even change the name, like.. like TJ MAxx! See, TJ Maxx has its own name it's not like the formula [NAME plus DEROGATORY SUFFIX].
But can you imagine what that's like? I mean, like a TJ MAxx basement? How ghetto can you get? That's like if Costco took a shower!! Not even! More like, if Costco got a decent haircut!
Okay, so Filene's basement is TJ Maxx, TJ Maxx basement is costco, that means Costco basement is CVS, and CVS basement is..
what?... like that alleywaybehind the TGI Friday's in Times Square at 3 in the morning?
Oh god i need to go shopping more often.
So, I was walking around the mall this past weekend pretending as if I have a life, and lo and behold I discover something:
There is a store called Filene's... notdone yet...
WAIT FOR IT....
Basement.
Oh
my
iTunes.
WTF?!?!?
Honestly, how degrading is that? Filene's BASEMENT. That's the name of the store. Seriously. I mean, what?! Was Filene's SHIT-HOLE taken?!?!
I mean, what was the meeting to discuss the name like? "Uhm, ok, so we have cheaper, used crap, but what can we do to attract the customers who are too poor for Filene's but wanna have something to wear to funerals."
"...OOH I GOT IT! Filene's... umm... LOWER!"
"Good one! But how about.. Filene's: NOT REALLY!"
Well yeah, as far as names go they could've gone much worse. But stil, they couldn't even change the name, like.. like TJ MAxx! See, TJ Maxx has its own name it's not like the formula [NAME plus DEROGATORY SUFFIX].
But can you imagine what that's like? I mean, like a TJ MAxx basement? How ghetto can you get? That's like if Costco took a shower!! Not even! More like, if Costco got a decent haircut!
Okay, so Filene's basement is TJ Maxx, TJ Maxx basement is costco, that means Costco basement is CVS, and CVS basement is..
what?... like that alleywaybehind the TGI Friday's in Times Square at 3 in the morning?
Oh god i need to go shopping more often.