After Dark (Kitayama/Totsuka, NC-17)
Title: After Dark
Character/Pairing: Kitayama/Totsuka
Rating/Warnings: NC-17
Summary: Kitayama wants Totsuka to be with him, but he wants it to be as equals.
AN: Written for flailinginlove's birthday... last year. And I just finished it for her birthday this year. Still a few days late. Epic fail. It's set in my (shared) vampire universe, and almost directly follows after this.
After Dark
Hashimoto is true to his word, despite Totsuka’s protests. He presents his case to Takizawa as soon as night falls and Totsuka’s heart nearly stops from hoping so hard.
He shouldn’t, Totsuka knows, not after all these years. Hoping just makes it hurt that much worse when he thinks of how Kitayama has left him behind. It’s an infinite distance and Totsuka can feel him slipping further away every day. And he can’t even blame Kitayama for it, nor anyone at all, except maybe Kamenashi.
Totsuka closes his eyes and breathes, trying to will away his despair, letting himself get lost in Takizawa’s power, even as Hashimoto straightens next to him and fights their master’s pull.
“Please,” Hashimoto says, and when Totsuka opens his eyes to glance over at him, Hashimoto’s posture is rigid and controlled, a determined look on his face despite the way his pupils are dilated and his chest rises and falls faster than normal. Takizawa is playing with them, trying to see how serious Hashimoto is, and Hashimoto is very serious indeed, remaining on his feet even when a wave of longing drives Totsuka to his knees.
Totsuka wants - this is the power their master has over them - but it’s not accompanied by a demand for action, nor by permission, and so Totsuka stays where he is and marvels at Hashimoto’s strength.
He can feel Takizawa’s amusement, his pleasure, and struggles to keep his eyes open as his master rises and comes to them, reaching a hand down to run his fingers through Totsuka’s hair. Hashimoto finally tumbles down next to him as Takizawa kneels. Takizawa leans in, and a flash of fangs brings thoughts of Kitayama cutting sharply through the haze surrounding him, a momentary respite before those fangs sink into his skin and a wash of pleasure pulls him down into darkness.
~~~~~
Kitayama feeds -of course he does, it’s necessary for survival- but there’s no real pleasure in it. Blood satisfies his hunger and is sometimes even delicious, depending on the person, but it satisfies nothing else. He feels just as connected to those he feeds on as he’d felt when with Kamenashi, and yet something is missing. There’s a gaping hole of something not quite right and Kitayama doesn’t know what it is.
The others seem to be adjusting to the change well, but Kitayama still doesn’t know who he is, who he’s become. He visits Totsuka less and less, because how can he be with someone when he’s not even sure of himself? Everything feels strange.
He is of a mind to refuse Takizawa’s invitation, but even though the master vampire can no longer summon him, it would still be beyond rude to ignore his request. Kitayama goes with a heavy heart.
Takizawa, as always, is the perfect host. He clearly senses Kitayama’s lack of enthusiasm, but politely refrains from commenting as Kitayama equally politely feigns interest. It’s a necessary game, but Kitayama wishes he didn’t have to play it.
Takizawa’s new pets are the center of the entertainment, the eight of them now ready for public display, but it’s the older five that draw Kitayama’s attention. Or, if Kitayama is honest with himself, just Totsuka. They’d been fairly constant companions back when Takizawa and Kamenashi were meeting regularly, but Kitayama doesn’t know how to act around him now.
Kitayama doesn’t regret having been turned, but he’s consequently been forced to a higher level of society, a higher level of ability, and he regrets not being able to relax with Totsuka as his companion. He still wants him, still loves him, but the distance between them now is unbreachable. Totsuka is the host’s pet, and as such, he is required to offer hospitality to guests, however his master compels him. Kitayama both looks forward to and dreads the moment Takizawa will call for him. More than anything, he hates the way Totsuka bows his head before him, refusing to meet his eyes.
Inevitably, Takizawa does signal for Totsuka, waving a hand lazily through the air, and Kitayama’s nerves thrum with anticipation and confusion as Totsuka leads him through the manor.
“After you,” Totsuka says, his voice barely audible despite Kitayama’s excellent hearing, and Kitayama enters Totsuka’s room. He’s aware of Totsuka closing the door behind him, but despite being in the position of power, Kitayama waits to see what Totsuka will do. In his heart, he fears that Totsuka will do nothing.
But to his pleasant surprise, Totsuka’s arms wrap around him from behind. Kitayama leans back against his chest, exhaling, relaxing, and lets himself forget their differences for a moment. He’s content to pretend that things are the way they once were. He lets his head drop back against Totsuka’s shoulder, reveling in the quiet strength of his body, the way he supports Kitayama.
There’s a soft brush against Kitayama’s neck and Kitayama shivers. Totsuka’s kisses call forth strong memories of being owned, of being controlled by his own master. It’s something that Kitayama has missed, but he’s a master now. It’s time he should be looking for his own pets, and Totsuka can’t be one of them. Kitayama sighs audibly, his disappointment with that mental reminder cutting through his relaxation, and then suddenly his eyes fly open at the feel of sharp pinpricks of pressure against his neck.
“Shota!” Kitayama spins around, breaking Totsuka’s hold on him and stepping back. He stares. “You’re...”
Totsuka says nothing, just smiles a small smile, mouth open only enough to show off sharp fangs.
The shock of it mixes with instant arousal, stealing Kitayama’s breath. His mind blanks, all the worries of position and propriety gone, leaving relief and want in their place.
Totsuka belongs to no one but himself.
Kitayama remembers well what it was like to kiss a vampire - being a pet for years gave him plenty of experience with that. He’s messed around with the other residents of the manor as well, comfortable with their long history together. But nothing has prepared him for Totsuka.
Totsuka has always felt different to him. Kitayama was drawn to him almost immediately, preferring Totsuka to almost all but his own master, and Totsuka didn’t feel like any more of a choice than Kamenashi. He doesn’t know if it’s fate or what, but there are innate connections that draw people together, that guide vampires in choosing who to keep, and Kitayama wonders if that isn’t what he felt with Totsuka, even while both of them belonged to different masters.
Kitayama feels that connection now, inescapable, as Totsuka pulls him into his arms. His hold on Kitayama is gentle but firm; he’s always been strong, and Takizawa keeps his pets in top condition. But now that quiet strength has been transformed into a controlled power. Kitayama can match him, but it doesn’t make the feeling any less exciting. If anything, it dares Kitayama to push, knowing now that Totsuka can push right back. They’re unable to exert control over each other the way they can over humans or animals, and that makes it best. Kitayama can be sure now that if Totsuka gives in to him, it’s because he’s been convinced to, not forced. It will be much more satisfying and leave no cause for regret. Assuming Totsuka doesn’t convince him first, which, Kitayama thinks, might very well happen.
Totsuka is very clever with his tongue, tracing Kitayama’s fangs until they ache. He nips at Kitayama when he tries to return the favor and the slight injection of venom makes Kitayama’s nerves sing, leaving him light-headed for a few seconds. He hasn’t forgotten how incredible it feels to be bitten, to give oneself over to the euphoria of being fed on, and despite his own cravings for blood, he suddenly wants more than anything for Totsuka to sink his fangs right into his neck.
“Shota...” he murmurs, turning away from the kiss, and Totsuka knows what he wants.
“Not yet,” Totsuka says and leads Kitayama to his bed instead. “Not yet.”
Kitayama knows where this is going and goosebumps rise along his skin in anticipation. Totsuka pulls him down and Kitayama follows, tugging off Totsuka’s shirt before he can lie back, tugging off his own before following him. Totsuka makes no protest when Kitayama mouths along his collarbone, kisses his way down over his heart, but a soft sound of contentment draws Kitayama’s attention back to his mouth.
Kitayama is pretty sure he’d be happy just kissing Totsuka all night, but then Totsuka arches beneath him and the slide of their bare skin makes Kitayama want. It’s a primal rush of instincts and Kitayama kisses down to Totsuka’s neck while Totsuka laughs.
“So impatient,” he says, gently pushing Kitayama away.
Kitayama grits his teeth against a whine. “But I want to taste you,” he argues.
“There’s time for that later,” Totsuka answers. “We have all the time in the world.”
And it’s true, for vampires live forever.
Kitayama decides there are other ways to get what he wants. He runs his fingers down Totsuka’s body, sliding across his hip and down to his thigh with clear intent. “Will you let me taste you like this?”
“Mmm, that I’ll allow.” Totsuka grins again, all fangs, and Kitayama closes his eyes for a second against a shiver. There’s no reason to be so turned on by the sight of them when he has fangs himself, but he knows exactly what they offer and it’s hard to undo years of training and experience as a pet.
Totsuka seems to know how he feels. He’s not entirely hard, but he gets there fast when Kitayama wraps his fingers around him and flashes an answering pointy smile full of promise. He tastes exactly as good as Kitayama remembers when he leans down to suck lightly at his tip, and groans just as nicely. Just the feel of him on his tongue has Kitayama closing his eyes in satisfaction, but a sharp tug on his hair makes him look up.
Totsuka doesn’t say anything, but his stare is commanding, telling Kitayama not to look away. He holds his gaze as Kitayama slides up and down, even as his eyes narrow with pleasure.
Just before his eyes close completely, he takes a deep breath and stops Kitayama.
“Hiromitsu.”
“Hmm?”
“That’s enough,” Totsuka says, and it’s clear what he means.
Kitayama grins, all fang again, and just holds out his hand. If he refuses to be bitten, Kitayama will have to do this the slow way. He takes the lube that Totsuka passes him and gets to work.
Totsuka opens up for him easily enough, his body used to such intrusions. His breaths are carefully controlled, his unnatural stillness not surprising given his transformation, but Kitayama wants to make him lose his composure. He doesn’t suck him again, but instead kisses his way across the insides of Totsuka’s thighs, trailing higher and higher as his fingers stretch inside him, and he’s pleased when Totsuka’s breathing gets noticeably faster. He’s even more pleased when mouthing at his balls gets Totsuka to shift against him, breathing accompanied by a few soft noises that Totsuka is clearly trying to contain.
“Let me hear you, Shota,” Kitayama says, and Totsuka shifts again in response to Kitayama’s breath on his skin.
What Kitayama gets is a low, repetitive murmur of his name as he gets serious. It makes Kitayama shiver, sounding as if Totsuka is muttering an incantation of possession, making Kitayama his. He wants to be his, wants Totsuka to move, to grab him lightning-fast with his new vampire speed and sink his teeth deep into his veins. But all Totsuka does is sit up slowly and reach out to pull Kitayama down on top of him, so that he can sink into Totsuka in a different way.
Afterward, Kitayama doesn’t pass out right away, which is nice, but he feels about to. Totsuka is comfortable, seeming not to mind the way Kitayama sprawls on top of him, face pillowed on his shoulder. Kitayama can smell the blood under his skin, and that’s comforting as well - perfectly Totsuka.
“You can,” Totsuka says, and Kitayama hums slightly in confusion before Totsuka tilts his head, making his invitation clear.
“Now it’s okay?” Kitayama asks.
“Now it’s okay,” Totsuka says, and Kitayama doesn’t even try to understand him. He’s not sure he ever will, and he’s okay with that. He kisses Totsuka’s neck lightly, once, twice, and then slowly lets his fangs sink into his skin. There’s a soft moan as Totsuka’s blood spills across his tongue and Kitayama echoes it, drinking him in and trying not to drown in the flavor and sensation. But then Totsuka shifts slightly beneath him and Kitayama feels a matching pinch on his neck.
It’s impossible not to get swept away. Totsuka sucks hard and Kitayama feels like he’s melting, lapping at Totsuka’s blood as the only way to keep himself grounded. It’s an intense feedback loop that starts Totsuka shivering beneath him, connecting them in a way that not even sex could replicate. This is what Totsuka wants him to feel, and Kitayama knows it the way he knows everything now, connected so intimately that he feels everything Totsuka feels, feels himself as Totsuka feels him, feels no end and no beginning to himself as they become one person in a way few others can. Kitayama feels whole again, the missing piece found.
He smiles as he falls from Totsuka’s neck to relax against his side - the future stretches out before them.
Character/Pairing: Kitayama/Totsuka
Rating/Warnings: NC-17
Summary: Kitayama wants Totsuka to be with him, but he wants it to be as equals.
AN: Written for flailinginlove's birthday... last year. And I just finished it for her birthday this year. Still a few days late. Epic fail. It's set in my (shared) vampire universe, and almost directly follows after this.
After Dark
Hashimoto is true to his word, despite Totsuka’s protests. He presents his case to Takizawa as soon as night falls and Totsuka’s heart nearly stops from hoping so hard.
He shouldn’t, Totsuka knows, not after all these years. Hoping just makes it hurt that much worse when he thinks of how Kitayama has left him behind. It’s an infinite distance and Totsuka can feel him slipping further away every day. And he can’t even blame Kitayama for it, nor anyone at all, except maybe Kamenashi.
Totsuka closes his eyes and breathes, trying to will away his despair, letting himself get lost in Takizawa’s power, even as Hashimoto straightens next to him and fights their master’s pull.
“Please,” Hashimoto says, and when Totsuka opens his eyes to glance over at him, Hashimoto’s posture is rigid and controlled, a determined look on his face despite the way his pupils are dilated and his chest rises and falls faster than normal. Takizawa is playing with them, trying to see how serious Hashimoto is, and Hashimoto is very serious indeed, remaining on his feet even when a wave of longing drives Totsuka to his knees.
Totsuka wants - this is the power their master has over them - but it’s not accompanied by a demand for action, nor by permission, and so Totsuka stays where he is and marvels at Hashimoto’s strength.
He can feel Takizawa’s amusement, his pleasure, and struggles to keep his eyes open as his master rises and comes to them, reaching a hand down to run his fingers through Totsuka’s hair. Hashimoto finally tumbles down next to him as Takizawa kneels. Takizawa leans in, and a flash of fangs brings thoughts of Kitayama cutting sharply through the haze surrounding him, a momentary respite before those fangs sink into his skin and a wash of pleasure pulls him down into darkness.
~~~~~
Kitayama feeds -of course he does, it’s necessary for survival- but there’s no real pleasure in it. Blood satisfies his hunger and is sometimes even delicious, depending on the person, but it satisfies nothing else. He feels just as connected to those he feeds on as he’d felt when with Kamenashi, and yet something is missing. There’s a gaping hole of something not quite right and Kitayama doesn’t know what it is.
The others seem to be adjusting to the change well, but Kitayama still doesn’t know who he is, who he’s become. He visits Totsuka less and less, because how can he be with someone when he’s not even sure of himself? Everything feels strange.
He is of a mind to refuse Takizawa’s invitation, but even though the master vampire can no longer summon him, it would still be beyond rude to ignore his request. Kitayama goes with a heavy heart.
Takizawa, as always, is the perfect host. He clearly senses Kitayama’s lack of enthusiasm, but politely refrains from commenting as Kitayama equally politely feigns interest. It’s a necessary game, but Kitayama wishes he didn’t have to play it.
Takizawa’s new pets are the center of the entertainment, the eight of them now ready for public display, but it’s the older five that draw Kitayama’s attention. Or, if Kitayama is honest with himself, just Totsuka. They’d been fairly constant companions back when Takizawa and Kamenashi were meeting regularly, but Kitayama doesn’t know how to act around him now.
Kitayama doesn’t regret having been turned, but he’s consequently been forced to a higher level of society, a higher level of ability, and he regrets not being able to relax with Totsuka as his companion. He still wants him, still loves him, but the distance between them now is unbreachable. Totsuka is the host’s pet, and as such, he is required to offer hospitality to guests, however his master compels him. Kitayama both looks forward to and dreads the moment Takizawa will call for him. More than anything, he hates the way Totsuka bows his head before him, refusing to meet his eyes.
Inevitably, Takizawa does signal for Totsuka, waving a hand lazily through the air, and Kitayama’s nerves thrum with anticipation and confusion as Totsuka leads him through the manor.
“After you,” Totsuka says, his voice barely audible despite Kitayama’s excellent hearing, and Kitayama enters Totsuka’s room. He’s aware of Totsuka closing the door behind him, but despite being in the position of power, Kitayama waits to see what Totsuka will do. In his heart, he fears that Totsuka will do nothing.
But to his pleasant surprise, Totsuka’s arms wrap around him from behind. Kitayama leans back against his chest, exhaling, relaxing, and lets himself forget their differences for a moment. He’s content to pretend that things are the way they once were. He lets his head drop back against Totsuka’s shoulder, reveling in the quiet strength of his body, the way he supports Kitayama.
There’s a soft brush against Kitayama’s neck and Kitayama shivers. Totsuka’s kisses call forth strong memories of being owned, of being controlled by his own master. It’s something that Kitayama has missed, but he’s a master now. It’s time he should be looking for his own pets, and Totsuka can’t be one of them. Kitayama sighs audibly, his disappointment with that mental reminder cutting through his relaxation, and then suddenly his eyes fly open at the feel of sharp pinpricks of pressure against his neck.
“Shota!” Kitayama spins around, breaking Totsuka’s hold on him and stepping back. He stares. “You’re...”
Totsuka says nothing, just smiles a small smile, mouth open only enough to show off sharp fangs.
The shock of it mixes with instant arousal, stealing Kitayama’s breath. His mind blanks, all the worries of position and propriety gone, leaving relief and want in their place.
Totsuka belongs to no one but himself.
Kitayama remembers well what it was like to kiss a vampire - being a pet for years gave him plenty of experience with that. He’s messed around with the other residents of the manor as well, comfortable with their long history together. But nothing has prepared him for Totsuka.
Totsuka has always felt different to him. Kitayama was drawn to him almost immediately, preferring Totsuka to almost all but his own master, and Totsuka didn’t feel like any more of a choice than Kamenashi. He doesn’t know if it’s fate or what, but there are innate connections that draw people together, that guide vampires in choosing who to keep, and Kitayama wonders if that isn’t what he felt with Totsuka, even while both of them belonged to different masters.
Kitayama feels that connection now, inescapable, as Totsuka pulls him into his arms. His hold on Kitayama is gentle but firm; he’s always been strong, and Takizawa keeps his pets in top condition. But now that quiet strength has been transformed into a controlled power. Kitayama can match him, but it doesn’t make the feeling any less exciting. If anything, it dares Kitayama to push, knowing now that Totsuka can push right back. They’re unable to exert control over each other the way they can over humans or animals, and that makes it best. Kitayama can be sure now that if Totsuka gives in to him, it’s because he’s been convinced to, not forced. It will be much more satisfying and leave no cause for regret. Assuming Totsuka doesn’t convince him first, which, Kitayama thinks, might very well happen.
Totsuka is very clever with his tongue, tracing Kitayama’s fangs until they ache. He nips at Kitayama when he tries to return the favor and the slight injection of venom makes Kitayama’s nerves sing, leaving him light-headed for a few seconds. He hasn’t forgotten how incredible it feels to be bitten, to give oneself over to the euphoria of being fed on, and despite his own cravings for blood, he suddenly wants more than anything for Totsuka to sink his fangs right into his neck.
“Shota...” he murmurs, turning away from the kiss, and Totsuka knows what he wants.
“Not yet,” Totsuka says and leads Kitayama to his bed instead. “Not yet.”
Kitayama knows where this is going and goosebumps rise along his skin in anticipation. Totsuka pulls him down and Kitayama follows, tugging off Totsuka’s shirt before he can lie back, tugging off his own before following him. Totsuka makes no protest when Kitayama mouths along his collarbone, kisses his way down over his heart, but a soft sound of contentment draws Kitayama’s attention back to his mouth.
Kitayama is pretty sure he’d be happy just kissing Totsuka all night, but then Totsuka arches beneath him and the slide of their bare skin makes Kitayama want. It’s a primal rush of instincts and Kitayama kisses down to Totsuka’s neck while Totsuka laughs.
“So impatient,” he says, gently pushing Kitayama away.
Kitayama grits his teeth against a whine. “But I want to taste you,” he argues.
“There’s time for that later,” Totsuka answers. “We have all the time in the world.”
And it’s true, for vampires live forever.
Kitayama decides there are other ways to get what he wants. He runs his fingers down Totsuka’s body, sliding across his hip and down to his thigh with clear intent. “Will you let me taste you like this?”
“Mmm, that I’ll allow.” Totsuka grins again, all fangs, and Kitayama closes his eyes for a second against a shiver. There’s no reason to be so turned on by the sight of them when he has fangs himself, but he knows exactly what they offer and it’s hard to undo years of training and experience as a pet.
Totsuka seems to know how he feels. He’s not entirely hard, but he gets there fast when Kitayama wraps his fingers around him and flashes an answering pointy smile full of promise. He tastes exactly as good as Kitayama remembers when he leans down to suck lightly at his tip, and groans just as nicely. Just the feel of him on his tongue has Kitayama closing his eyes in satisfaction, but a sharp tug on his hair makes him look up.
Totsuka doesn’t say anything, but his stare is commanding, telling Kitayama not to look away. He holds his gaze as Kitayama slides up and down, even as his eyes narrow with pleasure.
Just before his eyes close completely, he takes a deep breath and stops Kitayama.
“Hiromitsu.”
“Hmm?”
“That’s enough,” Totsuka says, and it’s clear what he means.
Kitayama grins, all fang again, and just holds out his hand. If he refuses to be bitten, Kitayama will have to do this the slow way. He takes the lube that Totsuka passes him and gets to work.
Totsuka opens up for him easily enough, his body used to such intrusions. His breaths are carefully controlled, his unnatural stillness not surprising given his transformation, but Kitayama wants to make him lose his composure. He doesn’t suck him again, but instead kisses his way across the insides of Totsuka’s thighs, trailing higher and higher as his fingers stretch inside him, and he’s pleased when Totsuka’s breathing gets noticeably faster. He’s even more pleased when mouthing at his balls gets Totsuka to shift against him, breathing accompanied by a few soft noises that Totsuka is clearly trying to contain.
“Let me hear you, Shota,” Kitayama says, and Totsuka shifts again in response to Kitayama’s breath on his skin.
What Kitayama gets is a low, repetitive murmur of his name as he gets serious. It makes Kitayama shiver, sounding as if Totsuka is muttering an incantation of possession, making Kitayama his. He wants to be his, wants Totsuka to move, to grab him lightning-fast with his new vampire speed and sink his teeth deep into his veins. But all Totsuka does is sit up slowly and reach out to pull Kitayama down on top of him, so that he can sink into Totsuka in a different way.
Afterward, Kitayama doesn’t pass out right away, which is nice, but he feels about to. Totsuka is comfortable, seeming not to mind the way Kitayama sprawls on top of him, face pillowed on his shoulder. Kitayama can smell the blood under his skin, and that’s comforting as well - perfectly Totsuka.
“You can,” Totsuka says, and Kitayama hums slightly in confusion before Totsuka tilts his head, making his invitation clear.
“Now it’s okay?” Kitayama asks.
“Now it’s okay,” Totsuka says, and Kitayama doesn’t even try to understand him. He’s not sure he ever will, and he’s okay with that. He kisses Totsuka’s neck lightly, once, twice, and then slowly lets his fangs sink into his skin. There’s a soft moan as Totsuka’s blood spills across his tongue and Kitayama echoes it, drinking him in and trying not to drown in the flavor and sensation. But then Totsuka shifts slightly beneath him and Kitayama feels a matching pinch on his neck.
It’s impossible not to get swept away. Totsuka sucks hard and Kitayama feels like he’s melting, lapping at Totsuka’s blood as the only way to keep himself grounded. It’s an intense feedback loop that starts Totsuka shivering beneath him, connecting them in a way that not even sex could replicate. This is what Totsuka wants him to feel, and Kitayama knows it the way he knows everything now, connected so intimately that he feels everything Totsuka feels, feels himself as Totsuka feels him, feels no end and no beginning to himself as they become one person in a way few others can. Kitayama feels whole again, the missing piece found.
He smiles as he falls from Totsuka’s neck to relax against his side - the future stretches out before them.