(no subject)
you've never had a weird dream. don't tell me you have. because in the one hour of actual sleep that i got last night... or, more accurately, this morning... i had the weirdest dream of the weird. fucking incredible.
first half: so first we start in my driveway, i had just pulled the car in and gotten home from tcnj and i had a few 12-packs of keystone with me, and i'm just standing there drinking one and taking in the fact that i'm home. my brother pulls in and he's with these two girls that are a few years younger than us, who i don't recognize so i guess i just made them up in my head. so the three of them just dig into my 12-pack and grab one each, and i remember feeling a deep resentment and an intense craving to say "yeah, just treat your-fucking-selves. those weren't mine or anything." but i held back. so the one girl asks "whose beer is this?" and i say "it's mine." she walks over and says "this is really good beer. thanks for the beer." i only remember this because a) keystone is not really good beer unless you go to college, drink it everyday, and get accustomed to it like me. she probably would have hated it if this weren't completely in my mind. b) the fact that she said "beer" twice to end consecutive sentences really made me realize how dumb this imagined girl was. but then she started dancing and grinding against me to some music that was evidently in her head and i had no complaints. then i walked away to go inside my house and left my beer outside, but before i could get into the garage my dad storms outside looking for my brother. i follow to see whats going down, and i hear yelling. my brother says something stupid, my dad walks closer, and finds my beers. then i wake up.
did you ever notice that whenever you're about to die in a dream or nightmare, you wake up just before that knife hits you or right when that creepy bad guy catches you? notice how when the beer was found, i woke up? do you think this is an indication of alcohol's importance to me? like if someone took it from me some part of me would die inside?
second half: so that was the normal part. this is where it gets weird. i wake up in my little brothers' room, where apparently there are now too beds. i wake up because i am soaking wet, and i look over to my little brother and realize that he is sleeping in his bed, and there is some middle eastern-ish dude pouring gasoline all over the place. i get up and ask him what the fuck he's doing, and he tells me to get out of the room. there's a middle eastern woman in the hall with her child, and they're talking when i ask what the fuck is going on. they TELL me that they are terrorists, and this will all be over soon. i say "what will be over?" she says "our plans to show your people what we can do." fair enough. i ask if i'm really doused in gasoline. she says yes, i am doused in gasoline. so i get changed and ask "what are you going to do?" she says "we have bombs underneath your pool and in your brothers room, and they will be detonated in a few minutes. stay out of it and no one will get hurt." so then i go downstairs to see where the rest of my family is. my sister is not there, nor is my father or grandmother. so it's just me and my two brothers, and my other brother is asleep downstairs on the couch. i go to the garage and it's gone... just ash and rubble. i see my license plate - those motherfuckers blew up my car!!! funny how i'm not worried about anybody, namely my gasoline-covered brother, or anything but my car at first. so i run into the kitchen, grab a beer and take tylenol, and i look out the window towards our pool and see some random kid jumping on the diving board. i don't want to interfere and have my family massacred, so instead of telling him that he's a goner i just brandish my can of beer when he waves and walk upstairs. i ask them if i can wake up my little brother. the man with the gas can says no. i say "fuck you" and try to get into the room. he knocks me down quickly and walks downstairs with the woman as i keep my eyes closed and pretend that i'm unconscious. when i can't hear their voices anymore, i get up and see the woman's kid next to me. i tell him that if i makes a sound i will fucking kill him. i wake up my little brother, tell him to run downstairs and into the basement no questions asked, and i look out his window. the pool just exploded. i climb into his moist bed and completely cover myself with his comforters. then i go to sleep. i remember having the stupid thought that bruce willis has in sin city "an old man dies, a young girl lives." only it would have to be changed to "a relatively young man dies, an only slightly younger brother lives."
SEE?? i told you this shit was fucked up. that's one of the weirdest ones next to the one where my mother killed me by lethal injection. i woke up an decided that i shouldn't sleep anymore. it was getting too creepy, it was 9:00 and my alarm was set for 10 anyway, so i stayed up and listened to music. ok i'm going to the c-store. later bitches
first half: so first we start in my driveway, i had just pulled the car in and gotten home from tcnj and i had a few 12-packs of keystone with me, and i'm just standing there drinking one and taking in the fact that i'm home. my brother pulls in and he's with these two girls that are a few years younger than us, who i don't recognize so i guess i just made them up in my head. so the three of them just dig into my 12-pack and grab one each, and i remember feeling a deep resentment and an intense craving to say "yeah, just treat your-fucking-selves. those weren't mine or anything." but i held back. so the one girl asks "whose beer is this?" and i say "it's mine." she walks over and says "this is really good beer. thanks for the beer." i only remember this because a) keystone is not really good beer unless you go to college, drink it everyday, and get accustomed to it like me. she probably would have hated it if this weren't completely in my mind. b) the fact that she said "beer" twice to end consecutive sentences really made me realize how dumb this imagined girl was. but then she started dancing and grinding against me to some music that was evidently in her head and i had no complaints. then i walked away to go inside my house and left my beer outside, but before i could get into the garage my dad storms outside looking for my brother. i follow to see whats going down, and i hear yelling. my brother says something stupid, my dad walks closer, and finds my beers. then i wake up.
did you ever notice that whenever you're about to die in a dream or nightmare, you wake up just before that knife hits you or right when that creepy bad guy catches you? notice how when the beer was found, i woke up? do you think this is an indication of alcohol's importance to me? like if someone took it from me some part of me would die inside?
second half: so that was the normal part. this is where it gets weird. i wake up in my little brothers' room, where apparently there are now too beds. i wake up because i am soaking wet, and i look over to my little brother and realize that he is sleeping in his bed, and there is some middle eastern-ish dude pouring gasoline all over the place. i get up and ask him what the fuck he's doing, and he tells me to get out of the room. there's a middle eastern woman in the hall with her child, and they're talking when i ask what the fuck is going on. they TELL me that they are terrorists, and this will all be over soon. i say "what will be over?" she says "our plans to show your people what we can do." fair enough. i ask if i'm really doused in gasoline. she says yes, i am doused in gasoline. so i get changed and ask "what are you going to do?" she says "we have bombs underneath your pool and in your brothers room, and they will be detonated in a few minutes. stay out of it and no one will get hurt." so then i go downstairs to see where the rest of my family is. my sister is not there, nor is my father or grandmother. so it's just me and my two brothers, and my other brother is asleep downstairs on the couch. i go to the garage and it's gone... just ash and rubble. i see my license plate - those motherfuckers blew up my car!!! funny how i'm not worried about anybody, namely my gasoline-covered brother, or anything but my car at first. so i run into the kitchen, grab a beer and take tylenol, and i look out the window towards our pool and see some random kid jumping on the diving board. i don't want to interfere and have my family massacred, so instead of telling him that he's a goner i just brandish my can of beer when he waves and walk upstairs. i ask them if i can wake up my little brother. the man with the gas can says no. i say "fuck you" and try to get into the room. he knocks me down quickly and walks downstairs with the woman as i keep my eyes closed and pretend that i'm unconscious. when i can't hear their voices anymore, i get up and see the woman's kid next to me. i tell him that if i makes a sound i will fucking kill him. i wake up my little brother, tell him to run downstairs and into the basement no questions asked, and i look out his window. the pool just exploded. i climb into his moist bed and completely cover myself with his comforters. then i go to sleep. i remember having the stupid thought that bruce willis has in sin city "an old man dies, a young girl lives." only it would have to be changed to "a relatively young man dies, an only slightly younger brother lives."
SEE?? i told you this shit was fucked up. that's one of the weirdest ones next to the one where my mother killed me by lethal injection. i woke up an decided that i shouldn't sleep anymore. it was getting too creepy, it was 9:00 and my alarm was set for 10 anyway, so i stayed up and listened to music. ok i'm going to the c-store. later bitches