fin.

[yesbeautyisdead]

so it is said that i have made the computer my life.
and i suppose that is true for the past month.

i have no one.
not even him.

that is my choice.
it has to be, in a sense, that is the only way i have trained myself to think.

i can not forfeit all of my dreams
and aspirations for one relationship

just because we are not together doesn't mean i want to be with someone else.

i planned on moving here before Drew ever came into my life,
before, he was my answer and scapegoat for all of my happiness.

scapegoat, in the sense, that i wanted him to be so.
now, i return to the original definition of a scapegoat
and blame all of my disheartenment on him.

so. this is why i ended it.
i see him as a person a love.
not a boyfriend i love.

his disillusionment of what a relationship really is has broken our bond.

and my insecurity has brought down my pride enough to make the choice i have made.

that is why.