Love
Love is such a strong emotion. Like seriously, I am not a person who looks for love, or even expects it from anyone. My friends, family, they all have a certain love for me that I might not understand. My mom, I know she loves me. At least I hope she does. We argue 82% of the time. I don't enjoy being around her at all. I try to stay out of the house all the time so I wont have to deal with her. My little brother, eventhough he blames me for everything, I know he loves me. I love him too. I would do anything for him, which I have proven in the past. He is so innocent, I love him to death and anyone who says anything about him or puts him in danger will be hurt. My father, man I dislike him. He has tried to get back into my life so many times, it is annoying. He has that love for me that he MUST have because I am his son. My other family, thats exactly what they are, family. Typical black family. We have the gay one, the one in jail, all the kids would rather live in a homeless shelter then move back in with their mom, and we have the ones who are doing well with their lives. At least 20 to 30 cousins and such, and we all get together for the holidays, except me and my mother of course. For some strange reason she felt the need to move to the other side of the country. Honestly, I see why because of my grandmother. She is crazy, and I am not even kidding. My family thinks low of me because I wanted to be an actor. I still do, but I have to be realistic in my life. Being an actor isn't gonna pay the bills until I get a break, which may never come. I wanted to be a teacher, but I didn't want to have a side job. Right now, I am working on becoming an accountant. Ant said something about opening a firm together, we shall see. I love numbers, always have, always will. I was doing math homework for fun yesterday that wasn't even mine.
I just don't know what to expect from my life. I don't know where I will be in 5 years, I don't know what my goal in life is, hell I don't even know if I will ever get married. I'm not that type of guy. I live life day by day, taking everything slowly. If I were forced to make a life plan right now, my goal would be to live, thats it. I don't want to be the president, or even the owner of a huge company. I just want to live. Be happy in life and in what I do. Keep the friends I have now and make more like them. Get an apartment to settle in or maybe even a studio or town house. Something small, unless I am rooming with someone, then maybe something a little bigger. Even if I wont the lottery, I would just buy one of those apartment type places in Manhattan that is big enough for me, Ant, and Angel, and if anyone else needed a place to stay, they could stay in the game apartment next door. I don't see myself owning a house. Just not for me. My mom wants a house in California some where. I wouldn't mind having a second home in Cali somewhere, but my heart moved to NY when I became a life member of DDPD. Sure, I miss my friends from Cali, but I have been away for too long. New York is my home now. Damn snow....
I love life, and everything about it. The heartache, the pain, the broken bones and the blood that I have lost. I love it all, and I hope to live till I am 70 years old. Even if I am working till I am 68, if I love what I do, then I want to do it. I wanna grow old with my friends. I want to be able to look back at my life, and enjoy the flash back. I love life too much, to do anything to danger my health. Yes, I am trying to lose weight. I don't smoke, I don't drink hardcore, and I will never do drugs. The only thing bad for my health are relationships, but they are a part of life and I love them too. :) Life is great, and such is lyfe.
"Such is Lyfe"