bluhhh

[yertoysrbananas]

dammit.What do you do when you want to make choices for YOUR OWN LIFE..but you really want to wait and talk it over with someone WHO MEANS THE WORLD TO YOU... and you want to figure out the more important situation first...but this one thing THAT YOU REALLY WANT TO DO..you are really excited about..and you want this other person to be excited too...for you..and for them..because maybe they would want to be with you..and when you leave maybe they would miss you...and it will be a whole long time before they would see you again..and you would want to know if they would wait for you..or if they would find someone else...someone better than you...or maybe they just dont want you at all..and dont you wish that parents would just stop..and leave you alone..and dont you wish you could just tell that person everything...everything you feel without being so scared you cry because you regret NOT saying anything...because what if they said everything would be okay...and you missed out because you were to scared to tell them how the hell you felt...and it hurts..and its confusing.and dont you wish you would stop writing them really long letters telling them how you felt and then being to scared to show it to them...because you dont know what they would say..and when you get back to your car you get so upset with yourself you cry because you were all excited to give those letters to that person and so excited to see if it makes things any better..and you chickened out..just like you do with everything else...and there you go regretting something else...and it makes you misrible..because you are holding on to your secret and its killing you...and you just want to let it out but you cant because you, once again are scared...and right now all u need is to hear him tell you that he loves you..even though you know he does...but it would make all your problems go away....and make all your worries vanish...all with those three little words...

oh thats how you feel????

me too...

if you read this...i love you...