(no subject)
So I've taken a break from writing in this thing, as you can see. I've taken some time off to clear my head and think things through, and I'm glad that I did.
In truth, I'm not angry at her. Well, I was, for a bit, because she left me for someone else, and I'm afraid that that's going to be something very painful I'll just have to live with. I don't think it will ever go away, but I'm sure the pain will lessen with time. It's wonderful that she's so happy, anyway -- her face lights up so when she's happy, and it's very beautiful, and I'm sure he realizes that now, too. I suppose I'm expected to feel selfish, and go around being jealous and angry, and in truth, I guess I am a little...but really, I'm more happy for her than anything. It makes it a little easier, knowing that she's all right, so I only have my own pain to deal with.
Me? I'm just getting by. To come right out and say it, I loved her more than I've ever loved anyone. In fact, I doubt that I will ever love anyone more or even as much as I loved her. I do miss her terribly...I want her back for one moment, just so I can hold her in my arms again, but I know that if I did that, I'd just want another moment and another and another...so I try not to think about it. I've been busying myself with as many things as I can. I've gone back with my typist to...well, wherever. I don't keep track anymore. I do feel better, though. I do. I'm not happy, but I'm not miserable.
I think, in the end, everything's going to be all right.
In truth, I'm not angry at her. Well, I was, for a bit, because she left me for someone else, and I'm afraid that that's going to be something very painful I'll just have to live with. I don't think it will ever go away, but I'm sure the pain will lessen with time. It's wonderful that she's so happy, anyway -- her face lights up so when she's happy, and it's very beautiful, and I'm sure he realizes that now, too. I suppose I'm expected to feel selfish, and go around being jealous and angry, and in truth, I guess I am a little...but really, I'm more happy for her than anything. It makes it a little easier, knowing that she's all right, so I only have my own pain to deal with.
Me? I'm just getting by. To come right out and say it, I loved her more than I've ever loved anyone. In fact, I doubt that I will ever love anyone more or even as much as I loved her. I do miss her terribly...I want her back for one moment, just so I can hold her in my arms again, but I know that if I did that, I'd just want another moment and another and another...so I try not to think about it. I've been busying myself with as many things as I can. I've gone back with my typist to...well, wherever. I don't keep track anymore. I do feel better, though. I do. I'm not happy, but I'm not miserable.
I think, in the end, everything's going to be all right.