fucked up shit
i duno whats been going on at purchase. but lately it seems like the on campus police have been having a grand old time busting students and arresting them. what the fuck did they expect. its fucking purchase and everyone parties. they went on a rampage and tore up several suites and charged the students that lived in them for possession of some drugs that may have just been left there by other people. i duno... its screwing with the whole purchase atmosphere that i fell in love with. i'm almost ashamed to have people come and visit because its hard to be as carefree as the first couple weeks at school. it seems like everyone's become neurotic.
its frustrating.
i'm supposed to go home next weekend and its bothering me. i have yet to look forward to a trip back to montvale because both times that i've gone home its been upsetting. i dont really talk to anyone that i used to chill with...
rambling...
i smoked hookah for the first time yesterday.. it tasted real good.. flavored mixed berries. i must acquire a hookah soon and just smoke it in the quad. they're so chill and make you so peaceful and relaxed. just what everyone needs.
i havent written anything halfway decent in a while and its becomming a problem. it makes me wonder what the fuck iwant to do with myself after college. its even fucking with the whole 'what should my major be' question. journalism sucks and thats all i know right now, i'm not in for it and i'll never be. but i figure while i gotta suffer through it right now, i'll at least try to make it interesting for myself.
the whole situation here with boys for the straight girls is hard to handle. everyone's hormones are a'ragin and with more than half the population here being gay, its really slim pickins. most of the guys that are desirable are taken, the ones that arent usually break girls hearts.. i'm still looking for cool guys to just be friends with... its frustrating. and i feel like whenever i go out one of my friend is crying over a purchase boy and its upsetting. its only a month in, why is everyone freaking out already?
i guess i shouldnt talk.
whatever, i slammed in someones room in my hall the other night and i feel like i did it so badly. it was discouraging. an open mic night passed and i was upset i didnt get up the courage to do it. i still cant imagine doing it. high school was easy cause i knew everyone and id idnt care what they thought, but a school of artists is totally different and i'll be wondering if they're silently judging my art and if it wont meet up to their standards. i already know it doesnt meet the schools standards because of my rejection letter from the creative writing conservatory. sigh
i guess i'm just a ball of confusion righ tnow. college gives me so much time to think about stuff. i'm getting older so quick and i really dont want to. after school i have a feeling i'll be shivering in a corner somewhere wondering, 'what the fuck do i do now?'
sometimes you realize how easy it is to go through the motions.
i'm trying to appreciate what time i have left doing it.
its frustrating.
i'm supposed to go home next weekend and its bothering me. i have yet to look forward to a trip back to montvale because both times that i've gone home its been upsetting. i dont really talk to anyone that i used to chill with...
rambling...
i smoked hookah for the first time yesterday.. it tasted real good.. flavored mixed berries. i must acquire a hookah soon and just smoke it in the quad. they're so chill and make you so peaceful and relaxed. just what everyone needs.
i havent written anything halfway decent in a while and its becomming a problem. it makes me wonder what the fuck iwant to do with myself after college. its even fucking with the whole 'what should my major be' question. journalism sucks and thats all i know right now, i'm not in for it and i'll never be. but i figure while i gotta suffer through it right now, i'll at least try to make it interesting for myself.
the whole situation here with boys for the straight girls is hard to handle. everyone's hormones are a'ragin and with more than half the population here being gay, its really slim pickins. most of the guys that are desirable are taken, the ones that arent usually break girls hearts.. i'm still looking for cool guys to just be friends with... its frustrating. and i feel like whenever i go out one of my friend is crying over a purchase boy and its upsetting. its only a month in, why is everyone freaking out already?
i guess i shouldnt talk.
whatever, i slammed in someones room in my hall the other night and i feel like i did it so badly. it was discouraging. an open mic night passed and i was upset i didnt get up the courage to do it. i still cant imagine doing it. high school was easy cause i knew everyone and id idnt care what they thought, but a school of artists is totally different and i'll be wondering if they're silently judging my art and if it wont meet up to their standards. i already know it doesnt meet the schools standards because of my rejection letter from the creative writing conservatory. sigh
i guess i'm just a ball of confusion righ tnow. college gives me so much time to think about stuff. i'm getting older so quick and i really dont want to. after school i have a feeling i'll be shivering in a corner somewhere wondering, 'what the fuck do i do now?'
sometimes you realize how easy it is to go through the motions.
i'm trying to appreciate what time i have left doing it.