My first dollar
HAPPY B-DAY RAYCHIE! HAPPY B-DAY LIZBERT! HAPPY ASS-RECOVERY DAY HANNER!!
so today i had to go to this "soiree" thingamajigger, and we all had to go to bainbridge so's we could sing for each other. it's supposed to be a "learning experience." so we went and i had to pay thirty bucks for a shitty sight-reader, dry bland beef, and a slice of swiss cheese-- and a sprite. it was foogle. that whole thing was askew, and I got the impression that one of the chicks there had the hots for my voice teacher on account of when she was warming up with him, she definitely sounded like she was having multiple orgasms.
But what really made the evening worthwhile was the long, drawn out discussion about the Vagina Monologues. Just imagine: 5 pasty, saggy old women discussing, in excruciating detail, their genitalia. That's a crowd-pleaser, let me tell you. Yes, the night was a general buzz-kill--that is, untiiil, we got on the ferry back home. This gal, Melissa, and I decided that we were in the singin' mood, and we saw these two random guys o u t s i d e on the deck, and we decided to serenade them with our jazz stylings. So's we said to the fellas, are you down for a little entertainment? To which they replied unenthusiastically: sure. And we proceeded to blow their minds... with our high quality vocals.
Actually, I'll be honest. They looked like they wanted to dice us. But it was good practice I think, for being up in front of a crowd, but i guess we were just one man short of a legitimate crowd of three. In the end they lied to us and told us we done good, then they lied some more and said they had no money as they casually sauntered away, toting their dolce and gabbana murses (man-purses), and said gayly as it were, (i think they may have been lovers, and we interrupted a very special, secret moment, but that's all in the past now), that had they had a couple of bucks on them, they'd have tipped us for our "lovely performance." I was depressed about the tall one, seeing as how he was mighty fine, but I didn't feel so deprived of the f r o d o b a g g i n s looking one. At that point I decided man-kind was taking one for the team, you might say.
Then the friendly womyn in the day-glo vest who was just kinda chillin' there requested that we give her our rendition of santa baby. And i'll admit that it was pretty hot, and it left us feeling damned impressed with ourselves. But on the other hand, we were up against eartha kit and madonna. enough said. And then we serenaded the kindly boy working at Ivar's who tipped us hardcore for our pains: 1 dollar apiece baby.
You betcher sweet ass that shit's gettin' framed.
Okay so right now, I simply can't deal with Jesse McCart*&%$ (?). He's out of control and needs to be stopped. That's all I needed to say about that.