Craptastic
The Raiders have hired Art Shell as their new coach. Call this Shell-shock. Fuck me.
I'll never forget the AFC Divisional playoffs against the Buffalo Bills. NO, not the year they lost 51-3 in the Championship game. The Divisional round. This, to me, is where Art Shell was truly exposed.
The Raiders entered the game as the number one passing offense in the league. Nobody could stop the Raider's passing game. But, as everyone knows, running wins in the playoffs. So the Raiders managed to come out and pound the ball against the Bills in the first half and took a tidy little lead into the halftime locker room.
Then came the second half. The Bills, who were known for playing weak pass defense, were putting eight men in the box to stop the Raiders from running though they were known for their pass offense. This was the match made in heaven. This is what all sporting teams dream of. A bad defense overcommitted to stop the run against the greatest passing game in the league. Retarded ten-year-olds playing Madden 2006 would know what to do. Not Art Shell.
The second half was a litany of three-and-outs as the Raiders ran on every single down. It was like watching my worst nightmare come true. They had the Bills by the balls and they didn't even understand that. The one and only quick pass they threw in the second half went for a 75 yard touchdown to Tim Brown because the Bills had quit playing pass defense ten minutes before. Did this jog something in Art Shell's memory, "Hey, wait a minute. We're the best passing team in the league and they are going all out against the run. This should be like stealing candy from a baby." NO. No, no, no, no, no, no, and double no. Run, run, run, punt. That was the entire second half. By the end the defense was so tired they couldn't have stopped my grandma from hogging the clock and running through them. Game over.
So now that Al Davis is not only a lunatic but a decrepit lunatic who has lost all sense of boundaries. Nobody in their right mind wants to coach for him. Every decent possibility flat out turned down the job. But yet, as a fan, you hope against hope. You want to believe there is another young Jon Gruden out there willing to take his shot at stardom. Uh, uh. Art Shell again. Except this time he hasn't been coaching ANYTHING for at least five years.
At least we'll get the first pick in the draft. Fuck me.
I'll never forget the AFC Divisional playoffs against the Buffalo Bills. NO, not the year they lost 51-3 in the Championship game. The Divisional round. This, to me, is where Art Shell was truly exposed.
The Raiders entered the game as the number one passing offense in the league. Nobody could stop the Raider's passing game. But, as everyone knows, running wins in the playoffs. So the Raiders managed to come out and pound the ball against the Bills in the first half and took a tidy little lead into the halftime locker room.
Then came the second half. The Bills, who were known for playing weak pass defense, were putting eight men in the box to stop the Raiders from running though they were known for their pass offense. This was the match made in heaven. This is what all sporting teams dream of. A bad defense overcommitted to stop the run against the greatest passing game in the league. Retarded ten-year-olds playing Madden 2006 would know what to do. Not Art Shell.
The second half was a litany of three-and-outs as the Raiders ran on every single down. It was like watching my worst nightmare come true. They had the Bills by the balls and they didn't even understand that. The one and only quick pass they threw in the second half went for a 75 yard touchdown to Tim Brown because the Bills had quit playing pass defense ten minutes before. Did this jog something in Art Shell's memory, "Hey, wait a minute. We're the best passing team in the league and they are going all out against the run. This should be like stealing candy from a baby." NO. No, no, no, no, no, no, and double no. Run, run, run, punt. That was the entire second half. By the end the defense was so tired they couldn't have stopped my grandma from hogging the clock and running through them. Game over.
So now that Al Davis is not only a lunatic but a decrepit lunatic who has lost all sense of boundaries. Nobody in their right mind wants to coach for him. Every decent possibility flat out turned down the job. But yet, as a fan, you hope against hope. You want to believe there is another young Jon Gruden out there willing to take his shot at stardom. Uh, uh. Art Shell again. Except this time he hasn't been coaching ANYTHING for at least five years.
At least we'll get the first pick in the draft. Fuck me.