1st ♒ [text]

[yerawizarderri]

[It had taken a considerate amount of time, But Eridan had figured out how to use the SFC since it wasn't all too different from the computer he had gotten used to while in the veil. And so he types a message.]

hello

Comments

[ACTION] tl;dr where do you keep coming from!?

[yerawizarderri]

[Eridan looks like he was physically stricken by the words, and really he might as well have been. He was already greatly regretting what he had done, and while he definitely deserved anything Karkat could dish at him--it didn't make it hurt any less. But instead of arguing like he probably would have if it were anyone else, he keeps silent. For some reason, other than the realization of what exactly he had done, he just can't argue with Karkat over this, anyone else he could put up that facade of his, fight and pretend he was justified, pretend he had some excuse for what he did--but Karkat could just chisel that away without a problem.]

[So just as silent as he had fallen when Karkat delivered that low blow, he follows him inside. He wasn't planning on doing any bitching. Not now at least, he just wanted to get settled, wanted to have a place to stay--a place to hide really. So he wasn't so out in the open, so vulnerable. He honestly felt at this point the world was against him, and he needed to just take cover, hide, not be found. Well, maybe the world wasn't completely against him, here was Karkat, who knew what he did, reprimanded every ounce of the horrid actions, but was helping him. Was still sticking around and helping him out--even if it was in that rough Karkat-like way. Hell, even wanted to still be moirails with him after such an awful, heinous deed.]

[It was comforting. More than comforting, to be honest. Eridan wasn't sure what he'd be doing right now had Karkat not been here. Would he still be killing people? Finding more victims to release his pent up anger on? Would he be dead right now? Maybe not dead, he was sure of it, his power was unmatched after all, but he'd be past the point of redemption and wouldn't even care, probably. And while that was an image that Eridan would have before wanted to live up to, right now it seemed so undesirable the mere thought of it perturbed him.]

[Which, he notes, was probably a good thing if he was trying to make himself corrigible. But who was to say that perplexity would stick around. Maybe it would if he truly was at all fixable, but Eridan had his doubts. He was, after all, worse than anybody.]

[ACTION] Np and commented on it :)a

[yerawizarderri]

[Eridan definitely did allow Karkat to handle all of this. It was foreign to him after all and he wasn't really in the mind set to do this for himself. Again, he was grateful for Karkat's help.]

[He eyes the place, it was nice. Well furnished and roomy. He definitely wasn't going to complain.]

Well. I must admit this is a lot better than I was expectin'...

[He glances at Karkat, giving him a genuine look of appreciation.]

Thanks for this... I owe you.

[ACTION]

[yerawizarderri]

I'm sure the ship was awesome.

[He awkwardly stands there for a few moments, before following and taking his own seat. He was tired and just wanted to have a seat regardless of the fact they were going to have a talk.]

[When Karkat starts, he watches him, exuding every sign that he's listening. Though, when he hears the threats, he isn't just acting like he's listening, he actually is now. Eridan didn't exactly need a broken nose on top of all of this.]

Alright, I'm listenin' Kar.

[ACTION]

[yerawizarderri]

[Eridan is intently listening to all Karkat has to say--even if some of it he doesn't want to particularly hear. The part about what he did with Fef? Totally true, he knew it was, knew he didn't take their moirailegiance seriously, didn't even want to make himself a better troll at the time. His thoughts and ideas were noble, he knew that. So having Feferi try and change him? Yeah, it wasn't going to happen, not to mention, it was exactly what Karkat said.]

[He was only using it to try and get something flushed with her, which may have been wrong of him... But he couldn't exactly help how he felt.]

[Though his bladder based vascular system drops when Karkat refers to himself in the same way, explaining how this was only pale nothing else. How he had a matesprit and wasn't interested in him in a caliginous way--which was fine because currently Karkat was probably the troll he hated the least.]

[But instead of showing his general dejected feelings about that part being explained, he nods. He already looked sad and what not, so any other spectrum of that emotion showing on his face wouldn't be glaringly obvious.]

Alright, so... Let's say someone inwites me to do somethin' particularly diabolical, not necessarily like... Killin' and shit. But somethin' otherwise not good, I should just fuckin' say no and not take part in the fun?

[Man! This didn't sound so awesome, but... It wasn't about him having fun, not anymore really. Not after what he had done, so he could understand that to some extent.]

[ACTION]

[yerawizarderri]

[Eridan doesn't really need any more salt in his wounds, so he's just going to do his damnedest to make it the least obvious thing in the world, by covering it with his disappointment towards that answer. But he nods shallowly, showing his understanding.]

Alright, I'll... I won't take part in any a that seahorsin' around then. I really just want to make up for what I'we done, Kar. So I'm gonna try my hardest at this. I'll take this all fuckin' seriously.

[He really did mean it, just he knew he was bound to fuck up eventually, and hopefully Karkat wouldn't see that as him not trying, but more so his habits were hard things to kill.]

...So I'm preemptiwely sorry if I fuck up and disappoint you.

[He sure was apologizing a lot, it felt weird to be saying it so often, but it really was all he could say. He didn't know what else to do at the moment to show his regret. So while it might have been out of character to do so, he didn't care. He was vulnerable at this moment and he was doing everything he could to try and protect himself, even if it meant apologizing a million times.]

[ACTION]

[yerawizarderri]

[He nods. He didn't like the idea of having to get the okay on things, but this was a commitment he agreed to himself and as such he's going to try his best.]

[No, do his best.]

Alright, I'll do my best and... I'll call you anytime I feel I'm not sure.

[Though he had to worry, he knew how he was, his impulsive ways didn't exactly allow time for self doubt--had they, he probably wouldn't have killed Feferi in the first fucking place.]

[ACTION]

[yerawizarderri]

[Eridan frowns even more--like that could really be a thing, but he somehow manages it.]

I just wanna know... Do you... Do you hate me, Kar?

[Of course, he's meaning this as platonic, nothing about his usual pathetic coming ons and what not. Karkat was pale for him, he had admitted that, but Eridan couldn't help but feel that this was more so for everyone else sake and not so much for his own. That maybe Karkat was sticking with this because it'd be a better approach for damage control than the alternatives. He just wanted to know where he really stood with the nubby-horned troll.]

[ACTION]

[yerawizarderri]

[He was afraid of that. He knew of Karkat's claim for hating everyone, but he definitely meant something deeper than Karkat's usual claim. And here he got the answer. He knew it wasn't going to be some magical 'why no eridan i could never hate you hurp' but he had somehow, for some reason, hoped that maybe he could completely rectify what he had done. But at least, now he knew that it wasn't exactly achievable. And in a way--it was discouraging. It wasn't going to stop him from trying though, but it definitely made his heart sink.]

[He had to live with the consequences of his actions and he hated it, he couldn't just pretend it didn't happen, couldn't just run away. He had to just deal with it.]

Well, you knew what I meant anyway... But... Alright, I understand...

[Yeah, he was completely hurt by this, but that was to be expected. It wasn't like Eridan liked how most of this has turned out, and it just seemed to be getting worse for him in ways. Sure, he had a place to stay now, Karkat was his moirail and he was helping him on his way to redemption--but Eridan really just wished he could take back what he had done. If he had just been thinking clearly, not letting his anger rule him per usual... If only...]

[It didn't matter. If this, if only that, wasn't going to change anything. What was done was done and Eridan was just going to have to learn to live with it.]