(no subject)
it's christmas eve! and so far today has been filled with opening mommas presents and panic attacks galore! i dont know whats going on with me but it isnt good whatsoever. i just wanna fall over and lye there forever, numb or dead lately. and ive been crying too much and i dont know why all i can think is im getting so stressed out all i think about now if i get just a bit stressed out is yelling FUCK and wanting to kill myself. i need meds or something i feel really ripped inside and torn and just..not right at all. and it's hurting. anywho. i haven't talked to anyone in forever it seems, being away up at my mommas casa. i miss you marina soo much girl! someone else- not so much, lately we haven't been talking not even chillin in how long? yeah that's not good. and we don't even talk anymore, he doesn't even call when he says he will, whatever it's bull shit and quite frankly im over it! im ready for another week and a half of my break full of slumbers, movies, cocoa, bad roads, mittens, and my bff. i miss you marina vic unbearably, i need you too! and though today has been a toss of pain and laughter and unknown feelings, i love you rene calvin and momma the most in my world. happy holidays.