(no subject)
We’ll fall together, rise together.
BEAST | OT6, Dongwoon-centric, slight JunWoon | PG | 2440 words.
It is unexpected but it is not that surprising.
Dedicated to chimny because i love her <3 and kyo_49 because I ignored her while i was writing this and it is making me guilty.
It is unexpected but it is not that surprising.
Dongwoon wonders if it really has anything to do with the pictures because if you ask him, they look like a gross case of public display, almost as if the whole thing has been planned.
Maybe it has, judging by the way management is handling it with much more calm than anyone would have expected. He thinks maybe this will do some good for the band and he should stop thinking too much about it.
That night when Junhyung comes back to the dorm, his shoulders slumped but his eyes bright with determination, everyone is quiet. He has just been released from the main office, probably to go over all the details of the relationship and make sure no one makes a slip of tongue. Exhaustion is etched to the thin line of his lips and Dongwoon suddenly feels sorry for him.
Kikwang is still filming for whatever schedule he has that day, Yoseob is in the kitchen while Hyunseung and Doojoon sit on the couch, watching TV. It isn’t normally this quiet. It is never this quiet.
“I’m home.”
Junhyung says, more out of habit than actually wanting the others to acknowledge his presence.
Doojoon gets up from his seat at Hyunseung’s feet and faces his bandmate. Junhyung easily dodges his attempt for confrontation and makes to get in the bedroom.
“Spare me the lecture, leader. You can bitch about it tomorrow. I’m tired”
Doojoon’s jaw tightens and for a minute, Dongwoon thinks he is going to burst but he doesn’t. He moves out of Junhyung’s way, defeated and looking much older than he really is. Dongwoon realizes for the first time that his hyung is only human and Doojoon is probably more vulnerable than most humans, leader’s responsibilities and strong façade casted aside.
Junhyung closes the bedroom’s door to Yoseob’s offer of food and everyone goes back to the silence that falls thickly around them.
--------
Dongwoon has always been observant. He knows more than he lets on and he is proud of himself for that. But then again, it isn’t exactly hard to see something is wrong.
The dorm is less quiet the next few days, mostly thanks to Yoseob’s desperation to cheer everyone up. He smiles and laughs and jokes and they all know he is trying a bit too hard but no one says anything. They are grateful that he tries. Yoseob takes to cooking and cleaning, he stays up late to make sure everyone is in bed, sorts out all the antis’ mails, throwing them out to make sure Junhyung never sees them and glares at Doojoon whenever he does anything Yoseob deems dangerous. He looks paler than ever, smaller and thinner. It catches Dongwoon off guard cause it has only been a few days. The smile looks wrong on his delicate features. But Yoseob keeps on smiling. Dongwoon thinks that maybe he is coping the best with the situation.
Doojoon is angry. He has the right to be. No one knows how much he has sacrificed for them - his family, his love, his freedom. Dongwoon remembers that night when the oldest came back to their dorm. He was drunk, broken-hearted and had just ended things with his girlfriend. He’d looked at the other five boys in the room and smiled before they decided to break out the alcohol and get stupidly drunk. They woke up the next day with terrible headache. Doojoon took out her picture he had tugged inside his wallet and made them breakfast. Dongwoon knows their leader let it all go for their sake and that makes it all the more difficult for him to accept what Junhyung did and how selfish it is. Doojoon is terrified of losing them. Now he just might have to face that and the one to blame is one of his brothers.
Hyunseung is his usual self except he is so quiet. Too quiet sometimes Dongwoon forgets he is in the room. Hyunseung stares ahead most the time, looking like he is thinking about something distant and vague. They would expect him to open his mouth and ask one of his peculiar questions, like “why is water water?” or “why is air air?”, but nothing comes out. Dongwoon knows, knows what he is thinking about because that’s what he is thinking about too. About how they are falling apart, about how this doesn’t feel right anymore, they don’t feel like a family anymore and the dorm doesn’t feel like home anymore. At times like that he would sit next to Hyunseung and watch Yoseob fret about Doojoon or Junhyung or Kikwang and feel his heart give out until he has to close his eyes. The man next to him is still, doe eyes wide, face blank, more like a broken doll than a human.
Kikwang is less and less seen around the dorm. Doojoon hates it because it’s like another of his brothers is drifting away from him. Yoseop hates it because he knows Kikwang is working himself out only to piece them back together. Dongwoon doesn’t think any of it. He knows that’s just how Kikwang is. He wants to take responsibility, he wants to help. He is always naïve enough to believe that if he tries, things will work out. And maybe they will. Dongwoon just wishes it didn’t come as the price of Kikwang’s sweat and sore back and fake humor in the words he says on shows because Kikwang too is scared. But he smiles it through with his crescent eyes and pearly white teeth so Dongwoon puts his trust in him.
Junhyung is beating himself up for all of this. Dongwoon ignores him. He deserves that much.
-------
Dongwoon feels his bed dip under added weight. He doesn’t need to look to know it’s Junhyung. He can smell the cigarette. The older probably got out of bed to smoke and clear his thoughts.
Junhyung reaches out a hand to touch him and unwittingly, Dongwoon flinches. He moves closer to the other end of the bed, next to Doojoon’s. Junhyung takes his hand back, obviously abashed and Dongwoon contemplates apologizing to him.
“Hongki knew.”
He blurts out instead. It’s not a question, not an accusation, merely a statement. Hongki knew, why didn’t we? Why must we hear about it from the netizens like the rest of the world? I thought we were family. It is hurting everyone. What if we lose this? What if we lose us? What if we lose you?
There are a few silent moments before Junhyung answers, softly as to not wake the others up. It’s pointless cause Dongwoon knows Doojoon has already waken up. He is a light sleeper and has been having even more troubles sleeping lately.
“He set us up actually”
“Oh.”
They are silent again, only occasionally distracted by Yoseob’s light snoring and Kikwang’s tossing. Dongwoon is about to go back to sleep when Junhyun reaches for him. This time, Dongwoon lets him.
“I’m sorry”
I’m sorry. For being so stupid. For messing up. For hurting you guys. For hurting you. For breaking us apart. I’m sorry.
Junhyun entwines their fingers and hold Dongwoon’s hand next to his heart. His hand is cold, his fingers are callused and Dongwoon can’t really feel Junhyung’s heartbeat underneath his palm. But it doesn’t matter.
“You’re stupid”
They both know it’s true and Dongwoon smiles a little before closing his eyes, settling in the warmth of Junhyung’s body.
Junhyung chuckles. He leans in to press his lips chastely to Dongwoon’s. It is innocent, not even a real kiss but only a press of lips, too platonic for a real kiss. Dongwoon squeezes Junhyung’s hand. They fall asleep next to each other.
-------
Morning comes and today, they have their first official interview after Junhyung’s relationship with Goo Hara got out.
All six have been seated when the interviewer gets into the room. Dongwoon is biting his nails, a nervous habit he never quite gets rid off. Out of the corner of his eyes, he can see Hyunseung’s hand clasped in Kikwang’s. Kikwang’s other hand is resting on Doojoon’s thigh, trying to offer their leader some comfort. But Kikwang is nervous too because his nails are digging too hard into Hyunseung’s hand, the red head simply holding on tight, probably desperate for the contact as well.
Yoseob turns to him with a small encouraging smile and swats Dongwoon’s hand from his mouth. The magnae grins at him and resists the urge to hug the older but decidedly more fragile boy.
“So, Junhyung-ssi, there are rumors that you and Kara’s Goo Hara are dating.”
“It has been confirmed actually. Yes, we are dating.”
“Would you mind tell us more about the relationship?”
“Well, we have been dating for more than one month. I’ve always had feelings for her. Hara is a nice girl, beautiful and sweet. Anyone would like her. Hongki of Ft.Island set us up together and she admitted she had feelings too. So we started dating.”
“How nice. Then why did you decide to go public?”
“I’ve always been straight-forward. Hara is too. We don’t see any need to hide our relationship. I know it will be hard to date publicly but I don’t want to lie to our fans. They deserve better than that.”
“Does this announcement create any tension in the band? Any fighting? Disagreement?”
Doojoon’s eyes narrow dangerously at this.
“No. We are a family. We are happy for him. A bit stunned, yes but nothing serious.”
He grunts out, Dongwoon can see the way his fist clenches under the table.
“Oh. So you guys didn’t know? Why did you hide this from your fellow band mates? Was there anything else? After all, you are ‘family’, why wouldn’t you tell them something this important?”
Junhyung snaps. It’s unexpected but not really surprising. He stands up abruptly and storms out of the room. Yong Junhyung doesn’t give a shit about the media anyway.
The interviewer stares after him a few moments. Shocked and obviously just realizing the magnitude of what she just said. A Cheshire grin appears on her face as she turns back to the rest of Beast sitting in order and looking as though they will jump out of their skin any moment.
“So?”
“Junhyung didn’t hide it from us. Not on purpose. You know what is like with families, sometimes it’s harder to say certain things to the ones closest to you than to complete strangers. We don’t blame him for it. The point is we know now and we are happy for him.”
Hyunseung’s voice surprised everyone. Yoseob and Doojoon stare at him like he just said he isn't strange and hates dancing to guts. Dongwoon notes how Kikwang’s and Hyunseung’s hands are even tighter clasped. He grins. The rest soon follow.
Hyunseung has always been the reasonable one after all.
-------
They find Junhyung in the parking lot, next to their van. And before anyone can react, Doojoon is in front of him, his fist colliding with Junhyung’s jaw with a menacing force. Junhyung staggers back, a cut at the corner of his lips and eyes sparkling with pent-up fury.
“Asshole”
That is all Doojoon manages to say before a blow is delivered to his stomach. The pain makes him fold his body in half, his legs shaking. Junhyung hovers above him.
“I already said sorry! What more do you want?”
“Sorry is not enough. It’s never enough, son of a bitch!”
The next minutes are spent with Doojoon and Junhyung trying to beat the shit out of the others and Yoseob trying to separate them.
“Stay out of this.”
Doojoon spats at him and shoves him back. Immediately, Kikwang is there, standing between him and Yoseob, glaring.
“Don’t take it out on the weaker ones”
Yoseob makes a noise to protest because he hates being called weak but it is lost because Kikwang chose that moment to join the fight, knocking Doojoon off his feet. Yoseob groans, rolling his eyes exaggeratedly.
“I swear, you guys have the mentality of primary students.”
“Don’t interfere or you’ll get hurt.”
“Damn it! Stop pulling that fucking bullshit on me.”
“What? Think you can handle a punch?”
Even Dongwoon thinks that’s a bit too much, Junhyung deserves that kick right between his legs.
“Call me weak again and I’ll cut your balls off.”
Yoseob threatens and when he realizes he is at it now, might as well make most of it, he sends a punch to Kikwang’s startled face.
“I. Am. Not. Weak.”
Dongwoon watches the four men before him battle it out, he gives Hyunseung a pointed look. The older grins back at him. They join the fight.
Limbs are everywhere. None of them cares who they are hitting. They are all set on hurting whatever is in front of them and is not a part of their own bodies. The managers are strangely no where to be found. A part of Dongwoon, the part which is not petrified by Yoseob’s sudden outburst of strength and Kikwang’s tendencies to hit just below the belts, distantly wonders if they’ve planned this. Junhyung’s elbow sparks a pain at his side right then so Dongwoon decides to stop thinking and focus on protecting his life.
Half an hour later, they are all sitting on the ground, bruises and cuts on their faces and their body sore at every place possible. The six try to catch their breathe and eye one another up, taking in their own disheveled appearances. The air is thick with the smell of copper and sweat. It’s almost soothing.
None of them makes to get up, all the energy easily drained out of them. Pants fill the empty parking lot. Dongwoon thinks about saying something but decides against it. Words are not necessary anymore; they have let it all out. Right now, he just wants to bask in the adrenaline rush and wait for the tension to ease. And Dongwoon is still young, still fresh-eyed, he hopes, hopes, hopes with all of his youth and innocence and love that everything will be fine.
Doojoon laughs.
His laughter is loud, it amplifies in the empty space they’re in. It is loud and contagious. Dongwoon finds himself joining and soon the parking lot is filled with their laughter, ringing like happy bells, finally free. It’s not really about what is funny but about the weight being lifted off their chest, about putting everything aside and just leaning against each other and laugh, not having to worry about anything anymore.
They will be fine.
--------
A/N: First BEAST fiction and well, first post on LJ. Who ever thought this day would come? I have noticed OOC but i don't have any experience writing BEAST so you'll have to excuse that. I also find the ending to be lacking but don't have it in me to change it. The ending sorta happened last minute, i don't even know what it is. No excuses on that one *sighs*
BEAST | OT6, Dongwoon-centric, slight JunWoon | PG | 2440 words.
It is unexpected but it is not that surprising.
Dedicated to chimny because i love her <3 and kyo_49 because I ignored her while i was writing this and it is making me guilty.
It is unexpected but it is not that surprising.
Dongwoon wonders if it really has anything to do with the pictures because if you ask him, they look like a gross case of public display, almost as if the whole thing has been planned.
Maybe it has, judging by the way management is handling it with much more calm than anyone would have expected. He thinks maybe this will do some good for the band and he should stop thinking too much about it.
That night when Junhyung comes back to the dorm, his shoulders slumped but his eyes bright with determination, everyone is quiet. He has just been released from the main office, probably to go over all the details of the relationship and make sure no one makes a slip of tongue. Exhaustion is etched to the thin line of his lips and Dongwoon suddenly feels sorry for him.
Kikwang is still filming for whatever schedule he has that day, Yoseob is in the kitchen while Hyunseung and Doojoon sit on the couch, watching TV. It isn’t normally this quiet. It is never this quiet.
“I’m home.”
Junhyung says, more out of habit than actually wanting the others to acknowledge his presence.
Doojoon gets up from his seat at Hyunseung’s feet and faces his bandmate. Junhyung easily dodges his attempt for confrontation and makes to get in the bedroom.
“Spare me the lecture, leader. You can bitch about it tomorrow. I’m tired”
Doojoon’s jaw tightens and for a minute, Dongwoon thinks he is going to burst but he doesn’t. He moves out of Junhyung’s way, defeated and looking much older than he really is. Dongwoon realizes for the first time that his hyung is only human and Doojoon is probably more vulnerable than most humans, leader’s responsibilities and strong façade casted aside.
Junhyung closes the bedroom’s door to Yoseob’s offer of food and everyone goes back to the silence that falls thickly around them.
--------
Dongwoon has always been observant. He knows more than he lets on and he is proud of himself for that. But then again, it isn’t exactly hard to see something is wrong.
The dorm is less quiet the next few days, mostly thanks to Yoseob’s desperation to cheer everyone up. He smiles and laughs and jokes and they all know he is trying a bit too hard but no one says anything. They are grateful that he tries. Yoseob takes to cooking and cleaning, he stays up late to make sure everyone is in bed, sorts out all the antis’ mails, throwing them out to make sure Junhyung never sees them and glares at Doojoon whenever he does anything Yoseob deems dangerous. He looks paler than ever, smaller and thinner. It catches Dongwoon off guard cause it has only been a few days. The smile looks wrong on his delicate features. But Yoseob keeps on smiling. Dongwoon thinks that maybe he is coping the best with the situation.
Doojoon is angry. He has the right to be. No one knows how much he has sacrificed for them - his family, his love, his freedom. Dongwoon remembers that night when the oldest came back to their dorm. He was drunk, broken-hearted and had just ended things with his girlfriend. He’d looked at the other five boys in the room and smiled before they decided to break out the alcohol and get stupidly drunk. They woke up the next day with terrible headache. Doojoon took out her picture he had tugged inside his wallet and made them breakfast. Dongwoon knows their leader let it all go for their sake and that makes it all the more difficult for him to accept what Junhyung did and how selfish it is. Doojoon is terrified of losing them. Now he just might have to face that and the one to blame is one of his brothers.
Hyunseung is his usual self except he is so quiet. Too quiet sometimes Dongwoon forgets he is in the room. Hyunseung stares ahead most the time, looking like he is thinking about something distant and vague. They would expect him to open his mouth and ask one of his peculiar questions, like “why is water water?” or “why is air air?”, but nothing comes out. Dongwoon knows, knows what he is thinking about because that’s what he is thinking about too. About how they are falling apart, about how this doesn’t feel right anymore, they don’t feel like a family anymore and the dorm doesn’t feel like home anymore. At times like that he would sit next to Hyunseung and watch Yoseob fret about Doojoon or Junhyung or Kikwang and feel his heart give out until he has to close his eyes. The man next to him is still, doe eyes wide, face blank, more like a broken doll than a human.
Kikwang is less and less seen around the dorm. Doojoon hates it because it’s like another of his brothers is drifting away from him. Yoseop hates it because he knows Kikwang is working himself out only to piece them back together. Dongwoon doesn’t think any of it. He knows that’s just how Kikwang is. He wants to take responsibility, he wants to help. He is always naïve enough to believe that if he tries, things will work out. And maybe they will. Dongwoon just wishes it didn’t come as the price of Kikwang’s sweat and sore back and fake humor in the words he says on shows because Kikwang too is scared. But he smiles it through with his crescent eyes and pearly white teeth so Dongwoon puts his trust in him.
Junhyung is beating himself up for all of this. Dongwoon ignores him. He deserves that much.
-------
Dongwoon feels his bed dip under added weight. He doesn’t need to look to know it’s Junhyung. He can smell the cigarette. The older probably got out of bed to smoke and clear his thoughts.
Junhyung reaches out a hand to touch him and unwittingly, Dongwoon flinches. He moves closer to the other end of the bed, next to Doojoon’s. Junhyung takes his hand back, obviously abashed and Dongwoon contemplates apologizing to him.
“Hongki knew.”
He blurts out instead. It’s not a question, not an accusation, merely a statement. Hongki knew, why didn’t we? Why must we hear about it from the netizens like the rest of the world? I thought we were family. It is hurting everyone. What if we lose this? What if we lose us? What if we lose you?
There are a few silent moments before Junhyung answers, softly as to not wake the others up. It’s pointless cause Dongwoon knows Doojoon has already waken up. He is a light sleeper and has been having even more troubles sleeping lately.
“He set us up actually”
“Oh.”
They are silent again, only occasionally distracted by Yoseob’s light snoring and Kikwang’s tossing. Dongwoon is about to go back to sleep when Junhyun reaches for him. This time, Dongwoon lets him.
“I’m sorry”
I’m sorry. For being so stupid. For messing up. For hurting you guys. For hurting you. For breaking us apart. I’m sorry.
Junhyun entwines their fingers and hold Dongwoon’s hand next to his heart. His hand is cold, his fingers are callused and Dongwoon can’t really feel Junhyung’s heartbeat underneath his palm. But it doesn’t matter.
“You’re stupid”
They both know it’s true and Dongwoon smiles a little before closing his eyes, settling in the warmth of Junhyung’s body.
Junhyung chuckles. He leans in to press his lips chastely to Dongwoon’s. It is innocent, not even a real kiss but only a press of lips, too platonic for a real kiss. Dongwoon squeezes Junhyung’s hand. They fall asleep next to each other.
-------
Morning comes and today, they have their first official interview after Junhyung’s relationship with Goo Hara got out.
All six have been seated when the interviewer gets into the room. Dongwoon is biting his nails, a nervous habit he never quite gets rid off. Out of the corner of his eyes, he can see Hyunseung’s hand clasped in Kikwang’s. Kikwang’s other hand is resting on Doojoon’s thigh, trying to offer their leader some comfort. But Kikwang is nervous too because his nails are digging too hard into Hyunseung’s hand, the red head simply holding on tight, probably desperate for the contact as well.
Yoseob turns to him with a small encouraging smile and swats Dongwoon’s hand from his mouth. The magnae grins at him and resists the urge to hug the older but decidedly more fragile boy.
“So, Junhyung-ssi, there are rumors that you and Kara’s Goo Hara are dating.”
“It has been confirmed actually. Yes, we are dating.”
“Would you mind tell us more about the relationship?”
“Well, we have been dating for more than one month. I’ve always had feelings for her. Hara is a nice girl, beautiful and sweet. Anyone would like her. Hongki of Ft.Island set us up together and she admitted she had feelings too. So we started dating.”
“How nice. Then why did you decide to go public?”
“I’ve always been straight-forward. Hara is too. We don’t see any need to hide our relationship. I know it will be hard to date publicly but I don’t want to lie to our fans. They deserve better than that.”
“Does this announcement create any tension in the band? Any fighting? Disagreement?”
Doojoon’s eyes narrow dangerously at this.
“No. We are a family. We are happy for him. A bit stunned, yes but nothing serious.”
He grunts out, Dongwoon can see the way his fist clenches under the table.
“Oh. So you guys didn’t know? Why did you hide this from your fellow band mates? Was there anything else? After all, you are ‘family’, why wouldn’t you tell them something this important?”
Junhyung snaps. It’s unexpected but not really surprising. He stands up abruptly and storms out of the room. Yong Junhyung doesn’t give a shit about the media anyway.
The interviewer stares after him a few moments. Shocked and obviously just realizing the magnitude of what she just said. A Cheshire grin appears on her face as she turns back to the rest of Beast sitting in order and looking as though they will jump out of their skin any moment.
“So?”
“Junhyung didn’t hide it from us. Not on purpose. You know what is like with families, sometimes it’s harder to say certain things to the ones closest to you than to complete strangers. We don’t blame him for it. The point is we know now and we are happy for him.”
Hyunseung’s voice surprised everyone. Yoseob and Doojoon stare at him like he just said he isn't strange and hates dancing to guts. Dongwoon notes how Kikwang’s and Hyunseung’s hands are even tighter clasped. He grins. The rest soon follow.
Hyunseung has always been the reasonable one after all.
-------
They find Junhyung in the parking lot, next to their van. And before anyone can react, Doojoon is in front of him, his fist colliding with Junhyung’s jaw with a menacing force. Junhyung staggers back, a cut at the corner of his lips and eyes sparkling with pent-up fury.
“Asshole”
That is all Doojoon manages to say before a blow is delivered to his stomach. The pain makes him fold his body in half, his legs shaking. Junhyung hovers above him.
“I already said sorry! What more do you want?”
“Sorry is not enough. It’s never enough, son of a bitch!”
The next minutes are spent with Doojoon and Junhyung trying to beat the shit out of the others and Yoseob trying to separate them.
“Stay out of this.”
Doojoon spats at him and shoves him back. Immediately, Kikwang is there, standing between him and Yoseob, glaring.
“Don’t take it out on the weaker ones”
Yoseob makes a noise to protest because he hates being called weak but it is lost because Kikwang chose that moment to join the fight, knocking Doojoon off his feet. Yoseob groans, rolling his eyes exaggeratedly.
“I swear, you guys have the mentality of primary students.”
“Don’t interfere or you’ll get hurt.”
“Damn it! Stop pulling that fucking bullshit on me.”
“What? Think you can handle a punch?”
Even Dongwoon thinks that’s a bit too much, Junhyung deserves that kick right between his legs.
“Call me weak again and I’ll cut your balls off.”
Yoseob threatens and when he realizes he is at it now, might as well make most of it, he sends a punch to Kikwang’s startled face.
“I. Am. Not. Weak.”
Dongwoon watches the four men before him battle it out, he gives Hyunseung a pointed look. The older grins back at him. They join the fight.
Limbs are everywhere. None of them cares who they are hitting. They are all set on hurting whatever is in front of them and is not a part of their own bodies. The managers are strangely no where to be found. A part of Dongwoon, the part which is not petrified by Yoseob’s sudden outburst of strength and Kikwang’s tendencies to hit just below the belts, distantly wonders if they’ve planned this. Junhyung’s elbow sparks a pain at his side right then so Dongwoon decides to stop thinking and focus on protecting his life.
Half an hour later, they are all sitting on the ground, bruises and cuts on their faces and their body sore at every place possible. The six try to catch their breathe and eye one another up, taking in their own disheveled appearances. The air is thick with the smell of copper and sweat. It’s almost soothing.
None of them makes to get up, all the energy easily drained out of them. Pants fill the empty parking lot. Dongwoon thinks about saying something but decides against it. Words are not necessary anymore; they have let it all out. Right now, he just wants to bask in the adrenaline rush and wait for the tension to ease. And Dongwoon is still young, still fresh-eyed, he hopes, hopes, hopes with all of his youth and innocence and love that everything will be fine.
Doojoon laughs.
His laughter is loud, it amplifies in the empty space they’re in. It is loud and contagious. Dongwoon finds himself joining and soon the parking lot is filled with their laughter, ringing like happy bells, finally free. It’s not really about what is funny but about the weight being lifted off their chest, about putting everything aside and just leaning against each other and laugh, not having to worry about anything anymore.
They will be fine.
--------
A/N: First BEAST fiction and well, first post on LJ. Who ever thought this day would come? I have noticed OOC but i don't have any experience writing BEAST so you'll have to excuse that. I also find the ending to be lacking but don't have it in me to change it. The ending sorta happened last minute, i don't even know what it is. No excuses on that one *sighs*