Taoris: Insomnia
Title: Insomnia
Rating: R
Pairing: TaoRis
Warnings: Character death
Genre: AU, angst, romance
Disclaimer: I do not own EXO.
A/N: Inspired by my and Salla-ge's sleeping problems.
The first time Wu Fan sees Zi Tao is at a club. His mind is intoxicated and it's crowded on the dance floor, people pushing each other with their drunken moving, the air thick with the smell of alcohol, sweat and different kinds of perfumes and colognes. A suffocating smell that dulls Wu Fan's senses, making him want to vomit, but he doesn't, instead dancing, trying to forget about the fucked up world around him.
The stranger that is pushed to him by the moving mass of flesh and fabric is tall and handsome, with black, messy hair falling over his eyebrows, thin lips parted and piercing black eyes looking straight at Wu Fan. Wu Fan decides he wants this stranger, he wants him so bad, and so he dances, tempting the other to come closer.
The stranger merely laughs at him and answers the movements with his owns, neither of them caring to play around, and so they grind, roll, push against each other, eyes rolling back into their heads and their chests heaving in time with their panting. But as fast as the stranger was pushed to him, he's pulled away, laughing and saying something about a drink. Wu Fan doesn't see him after that.
The second time Wu Fan sees Zi Tao is on a street. The city is lit with street lights and neon signs, the night dark and the sky void of stars, not many people moving around. Wu Fan stops as he recognizes the stranger with piercing eyes, and looks into those black depths as the stranger, too, stops to look at him. They grin, both of them, twisted expressions on their beautiful young features.
"So, your place or mine?" Wu Fan drawls, running a hand through his golden brown hair, pushing it back from his forehead. The stranger chuckles, and waves a hand, all the while grinning that twisted grin that makes Wu Fan's stomach turn with fear, disgust and want.
"Sorry, gorgeous. It's past my bedtime." And with this he strolls past Wu Fan, casually waving at him, all long limbs and black hair and Wu Fan doesn't look after him as he laughs out loud and keeps on walking to the opposite direction.
The third time Wu Fan sees Zi Tao is outside a different club. He's having a smoke with a friend, breathing the toxins in and then blowing them out, leaning against the wall as he watches people show their IDs to the bouncer to get in. And then he comes out, the stranger, and as he stops to look around their eyes lock. The stranger grins, and Wu Fan laughs, and his eyes follow the stranger leaving with a shorter male with dark hair.
And as Chanyeol asks Wu Fan what's so funny, Wu Fan simply grins, not caring about his friend telling him he looks fucking sick like that, and goes back in to the club.
The first time Wu Fan meets Zi Tao is on a street near his apartment block. He's walking home, a cigarette between his lips, when he sees a familiar figure absent-mindedly dragging his hand against the wall they are walking next to.
Again, they stop, and as Wu Fan lazily blows the smoke out the stranger cocks his head to the side, that same scary, sick grin on his thin lips, and again Wu Fan wants him.
"Isn't it past your bedtime?" he asks, casually, inhaling more toxins into his system. The stranger chuckles.
"Yeah."
He's about to walk past Wu Fan again, but is stopped as the slightly taller male grabs his arm, and Wu Fan feels like drowning as those piercing eyes' gaze is directed at him. They stand like that, looking at each other, neither of them grinning, or even smiling.
The stranger breaks the stare by taking the cigarette from Wu Fan's hand and raising it to his lips, dragging smoke into his lungs before blowing it against Wu Fan's face. He raises the cigarette back to the blond's lips. "Zi Tao."
"Wu Fan."
"Do you live nearby?"
"Seventh floor of the white house right behind you."
The corner of Zi Tao's lips tug up in a crooked smile, and he tilts his head to the side. "How would you like to take me to the seventh floor of the white house right behind me and fuck me senseless?"
Wu Fan chuckles. "I would like that."
They fuck on Wu Fan's unmade bed, clothes scattered around the small room, Zi Tao grunting and groaning, Wu Fan dominating him with sheer physical power. No moans, no whimpers, no mewling - Zi Tao is angry and fierce, leaving red welts to Wu Fan's shoulder blades, and Wu Fan can't help but be incredibly turned on. They bite, they lick, they push and they pull, but they don't kiss.
He follows from the balcony as Zi Tao leaves, black hair messed and thin lips swollen and red, and he grins as the boy looks up and smirks at him. This was the first, but surely not the last time they met.
The second time Wu Fan meets Zi Tao is at a nearby 24/7 store, the girl at the counter tired and barely awake as he buys the pack of cigarettes he had come to get. He looks at the door as the bell rings to announce a new customer, and grins. Maybe he should believe in faith.
Zi Tao notices him immediately, of course, and with a crooked smile heads to the candy shelf, paying the tall blond no mind. Wu Fan follows him, and wraps an arm around his waist, leaning to breathe into his ear: "don't you ever sleep?"
"Don't you?" Zi Tao answers, turning his head just enough for Wu Fan to be able to lick at his jawline. "Why sleep when I could be inside you, making you beg?"
Zi Tao laughs out loud, and pushes Wu Fan away, strolling to the counter to pay for his bag of candy. Wu Fan follows him out of the shop, pleased as he notices Zi Tao turns to the direction of his apartment.
As they reach Wu Fan's apartment door Zi Tao grabs Wu Fan's neck, squeezing, and Wu Fan gags as Zi Tao sings into his ear: "I don't beg."
It's hot and fast, the way they fuck, but also smoother than their first time together. Somehow they fit better, and somehow it's more fluent, the way they ease into each other, now knowing what buttons to push to get the best reactions.
And somehow Wu Fan feels some kind of warmth as he holds Zi Tao as they come, both growling, their voices touched-out and hoarse.
As Zi Tao tries to sit up to leave, Wu Fan grabs his shoulder, and squeezes, eyes half closed with the ecstasy flowing inside him. Zi Tao glances at him, but lies down, and they're silent as Wu Fan's chest presses against Zi Tao's back and they both slowly float into light, restless sleep.
The third time Wu Fan meets Zi Tao is in front of his door as he comes home in the early hours of morning. They stare at each other for a moment before Wu Fan lets them in. Wu Fan is pressed against the elevator's wall as Zi Tao's mouth travels along his neck and jaw, hand rubbing his cock through his jeans, and Wu Fan groans, head thrown back against the wooden panels.
As they lay in Wu Fan's bed, naked and satisfied, Wu Fan absent-mindedly stroking Zi Tao's black locks, the black-haired male asks: "so... Do you never sleep?"
Wu Fan humms, staring at the ceilin. "A little. A couple hours a night."
He can feel Zi Tao nodding against his chest, and the boy answers: "we're on the same stage then."
And Wu Fan suddenly understands why they only meet at night time.
Zi Tao rarely leaves anymore. They both go to school, they both work some, but Zi Tao more often crashes at Wu Fan's than not. He doesn't want to go home. Wu Fan learns that Zi Tao is younger than him, likes eating, cries easily and knows martial arts. He learns that Zi Tao is shy and quiet, and doesn't bother Wu Fan too much.
Wu Fan thinks Zi Tao is perfect.
Zi Tao learns that Wu Fan is older than him, takes good care of his looks, smiles quite often despite looking intimidating when being serious, and knows three languages. He learns that Wu Fan doesn't talk too much but doesn't mind a conversation once in a while.
Zi Tao adores Wu Fan.
Wu Fan is at the university library as Chanyeol corners him, asking about why Wu Fan has been absent so much. Wu Fan brushes it off with saying he's had to work a lot and has been sick because of all the stress, but Chanyeol doesn't believe him. He still decides not to bother the blond, and drops the subject.
Their nights are spent walking around the city, sometimes driving, clubbing, and enjoying each other's presence at home. At some point Wu Fan realizes, his mind hazy with pleasure and lust as Zi Tao is on his knees in front of him, that they have proceeded from the fucking stage to something more.
Wu Fan drops out from work first. He doesn't care, he can't find it in himself to bother to care. He stops caring about anything but home. Because Zi Tao is there. He comes home and presses the boy to the nearest surface, and he feels sick with all the feelings rushing through him as the younger boy wraps himself around him.
Their sleeping hours grow fewer, until the point that they merely nap for once or twice a day, for an hour or two. Zi Tao stops going home at all, coming back to Wu Fan's apartment soaked with rain, carrying a small backpack with him, a big bruise on his right temple. Wu Fan embraces him and makes love to him, slow and gentle, and their groans and growls have gradually changed into soft gasps and cries, and Wu Fan kisses Zi Tao's tears away as he cries.
Zi Tao drops out of school, but tries to hold on to his job. Wu Fan has already dug into his savings account, the one his parents had saved up for him in case he wanted to move back to Canada and get his own apartment. It's not like he's going back anyway. Not now that Zi Tao is with him.
One day the doorbell rings and as Wu Fan opens the door there is a boy, older than Zi Tao but younger than Wu Fan by looks, with soft dark brown hair and soft eyes. Wu Fan leans to the door frame, waiting for an explanation to this.
"You're Wu Fan" the boy states, and it's not a question. Wu Fan nods. The boy bows deep. "I'm Yi Xing. I'm Zi Tao's friend. I was wondering if you knew where he was. He's not home and he hasn't come to school in two weeks. He also doesn't answer my messages. I'm worried abou- "
"Zi Tao is at work at the moment" Wu Fan cuts in, not liking the fact that this stranger is worried about Zi Tao. No one needs to be worried about Zi Tao. He can protect him. Zi Tao has everything he needs with him. "He should be home in a few hours."
Yi Xing looks puzzled. "But his parents said they haven't- "
"His home is here" Wu Fan interrupts. "You don't need to worry about Zi Tao. And I suggest you don't wait for him. I'll call the police and report you as a stalker if you do."
Yi Xing's eyebrows furrow for a second as his eyes rake over this rude blond, and as he searches Wu Fan's face, void of any make up to cover the dark circles under his eyes, he understands. "You're sick. You're sick like he is, and he's not coming home anymore."
Wu Fan chuckles darkly. "We're not sick. You people who waste your life being unconscious for hours a day are the sick ones. Zi Tao is coming home soon."
Yi Xing's eyes harden as he nods, and bows again. "Don't hurt Zi Tao, or I will hurt you. Thank you for your time." And Wu Fan closes the door against his face, not bothered by the pitying, hateful look Yi Xing gave him.
Chanyeol is the next one. Wu Fan wakes up from his trance near the borders of sleep and watches as Zi Tao gets the door. He's up in a second as he realizes who the intruder is, as Zi Tao looks intimidated by the tall male demanding to know where Wu Fan is in that ridiculously deeply voice of his.
"Chanyeol" he growls, taking Zi Tao in his arms. "What are you doing here?"
Chanyeol showers him with insults, all but snarling at him, and all of the rant about friends, school, life and other meaningless things goes straight in from one ear and out from the other.
"And- Kris, when was the last time you slept?"
Wu Fan humms, stroking Zi Tao's neck lazily. "Two days ago."
Chanyeol's eyes turn first angry, and then sad, then desperate. Wu Fan knows Chanyeol knows they've gone too far, he can't do anything for the blond anymore. "Kris, please, listen to me, we need to get you to the hospital- remember Baekhyun? You don't want to end up like Baekhyun, do you?"
Wu Fan glares at Chanyeol. "Of course I remember Baekhyun. And no, Chanyeol, I do not want to end up like him."
Chanyeol's deep voice goes an octave higher with panic as Wu Fan starts turning around, ready to shut the door. "Kris! Listen to me, you need to fucking listen to me, Kris please- Kris- Wu Fan, don't close the fucking door- "
But it's too late and Wu Fan doesn't care, he doesn't care about Chanyeol or Baekhyun, and Chanyeol's panicked cries are muffled by the thick wooden door as it slams shut against his face.
"Why did he call you Kris?" Zi Tao murmurs as they plop on the bed. "And who's Baekhyun?"
Kris humms again, and places a lazy kiss on Zi Tao's cheek. "Kris is my nickname. And Baekhyun is dead."
Zi Tao finally drops out of work, and they barely leave the apartment anymore during daytime. They drink, they party, and they gradually start eating less as all of their money goes into buying make up to cover the shadows on their features. They're still perfect, still young, still flawless to the world.
Chanyeol visits a few times, banging on the door, crying in the hallway for Wu Fan to listen to him, but Wu Fan doesn't care, because Zi Tao is his whole world and how could he ever even consider sleeping when it could risk losing moments with the beautiful creature in his arms? Eventually Chanyeol gives up, his voice broken and weak as he sighs "just like Baekhyun".
They grow paler and thinner together, and they wither in each other's holds, but they don't care. They don't sleep at all anymore, and gradually they stop leaving the house even for clubbing. It takes days for them to go to the grocery store to get enough food to keep themselves alive, and at some point they stop using make up.
Zi Tao tries to cover the dark circles under his eyes, but Wu Fan holds his hands and kisses him, pressing him against a wall, holding him tight. He tells him he loves the circles, tells him they're a sign that they're alive, the matching shadows on their faces. And Zi Tao loves him a little more again, for understanding.
It's December when they lay in Wu Fan's bed together, naked under the covers even though it's freezing, and they're both trembling with the cold, their breaths visible in the air. They haven't had the money to pay for the heating. They barely have enough money to eat once in a while, but they ignore the way their ribs and spines are clearly visible now, and Wu Fan tries not to notice the way Zi Tao's clothes droop on him, the way his hipbones jut out.
As they lay there, together, in each other's arms, Wu Fan realizes how fragile Zi Tao is in his arms, and how alive they are, how alive they have been, and he's filled with love towards the pale, corpse-like boy in his arms. He kisses Zi Tao gently, deeply, and smiles at him. "I love you, Zi Tao" he whispers, his words a puff of cool air against Zi Tao's features. "You woke me up."
Wu Fan's heart swells as Zi Tao's dark eyes, now dull and lifeless compared to the piercing power they held when they met, look into his, and the younger boy smiles, grazing his fingertips against Wu Fan's cheek. "I love you too, ge. Can I ask something from you?"
Wu Fan nods. Anything. Everything. He would give it to Zi Tao.
"Can we sleep for a minute? I don't remember what it's like..."
Wu Fan laughs, a weak, hoarse sound, and he hugs Zi Tao tighter against his chest. "If you want to" he murmurs softly, and so they close their eyes as their lips meet in a gentle, tired kiss, and they feel so alive.
Neither Wu Fan or Zi Tao wakes up anymore.
Rating: R
Pairing: TaoRis
Warnings: Character death
Genre: AU, angst, romance
Disclaimer: I do not own EXO.
A/N: Inspired by my and Salla-ge's sleeping problems.
The first time Wu Fan sees Zi Tao is at a club. His mind is intoxicated and it's crowded on the dance floor, people pushing each other with their drunken moving, the air thick with the smell of alcohol, sweat and different kinds of perfumes and colognes. A suffocating smell that dulls Wu Fan's senses, making him want to vomit, but he doesn't, instead dancing, trying to forget about the fucked up world around him.
The stranger that is pushed to him by the moving mass of flesh and fabric is tall and handsome, with black, messy hair falling over his eyebrows, thin lips parted and piercing black eyes looking straight at Wu Fan. Wu Fan decides he wants this stranger, he wants him so bad, and so he dances, tempting the other to come closer.
The stranger merely laughs at him and answers the movements with his owns, neither of them caring to play around, and so they grind, roll, push against each other, eyes rolling back into their heads and their chests heaving in time with their panting. But as fast as the stranger was pushed to him, he's pulled away, laughing and saying something about a drink. Wu Fan doesn't see him after that.
The second time Wu Fan sees Zi Tao is on a street. The city is lit with street lights and neon signs, the night dark and the sky void of stars, not many people moving around. Wu Fan stops as he recognizes the stranger with piercing eyes, and looks into those black depths as the stranger, too, stops to look at him. They grin, both of them, twisted expressions on their beautiful young features.
"So, your place or mine?" Wu Fan drawls, running a hand through his golden brown hair, pushing it back from his forehead. The stranger chuckles, and waves a hand, all the while grinning that twisted grin that makes Wu Fan's stomach turn with fear, disgust and want.
"Sorry, gorgeous. It's past my bedtime." And with this he strolls past Wu Fan, casually waving at him, all long limbs and black hair and Wu Fan doesn't look after him as he laughs out loud and keeps on walking to the opposite direction.
The third time Wu Fan sees Zi Tao is outside a different club. He's having a smoke with a friend, breathing the toxins in and then blowing them out, leaning against the wall as he watches people show their IDs to the bouncer to get in. And then he comes out, the stranger, and as he stops to look around their eyes lock. The stranger grins, and Wu Fan laughs, and his eyes follow the stranger leaving with a shorter male with dark hair.
And as Chanyeol asks Wu Fan what's so funny, Wu Fan simply grins, not caring about his friend telling him he looks fucking sick like that, and goes back in to the club.
The first time Wu Fan meets Zi Tao is on a street near his apartment block. He's walking home, a cigarette between his lips, when he sees a familiar figure absent-mindedly dragging his hand against the wall they are walking next to.
Again, they stop, and as Wu Fan lazily blows the smoke out the stranger cocks his head to the side, that same scary, sick grin on his thin lips, and again Wu Fan wants him.
"Isn't it past your bedtime?" he asks, casually, inhaling more toxins into his system. The stranger chuckles.
"Yeah."
He's about to walk past Wu Fan again, but is stopped as the slightly taller male grabs his arm, and Wu Fan feels like drowning as those piercing eyes' gaze is directed at him. They stand like that, looking at each other, neither of them grinning, or even smiling.
The stranger breaks the stare by taking the cigarette from Wu Fan's hand and raising it to his lips, dragging smoke into his lungs before blowing it against Wu Fan's face. He raises the cigarette back to the blond's lips. "Zi Tao."
"Wu Fan."
"Do you live nearby?"
"Seventh floor of the white house right behind you."
The corner of Zi Tao's lips tug up in a crooked smile, and he tilts his head to the side. "How would you like to take me to the seventh floor of the white house right behind me and fuck me senseless?"
Wu Fan chuckles. "I would like that."
They fuck on Wu Fan's unmade bed, clothes scattered around the small room, Zi Tao grunting and groaning, Wu Fan dominating him with sheer physical power. No moans, no whimpers, no mewling - Zi Tao is angry and fierce, leaving red welts to Wu Fan's shoulder blades, and Wu Fan can't help but be incredibly turned on. They bite, they lick, they push and they pull, but they don't kiss.
He follows from the balcony as Zi Tao leaves, black hair messed and thin lips swollen and red, and he grins as the boy looks up and smirks at him. This was the first, but surely not the last time they met.
The second time Wu Fan meets Zi Tao is at a nearby 24/7 store, the girl at the counter tired and barely awake as he buys the pack of cigarettes he had come to get. He looks at the door as the bell rings to announce a new customer, and grins. Maybe he should believe in faith.
Zi Tao notices him immediately, of course, and with a crooked smile heads to the candy shelf, paying the tall blond no mind. Wu Fan follows him, and wraps an arm around his waist, leaning to breathe into his ear: "don't you ever sleep?"
"Don't you?" Zi Tao answers, turning his head just enough for Wu Fan to be able to lick at his jawline. "Why sleep when I could be inside you, making you beg?"
Zi Tao laughs out loud, and pushes Wu Fan away, strolling to the counter to pay for his bag of candy. Wu Fan follows him out of the shop, pleased as he notices Zi Tao turns to the direction of his apartment.
As they reach Wu Fan's apartment door Zi Tao grabs Wu Fan's neck, squeezing, and Wu Fan gags as Zi Tao sings into his ear: "I don't beg."
It's hot and fast, the way they fuck, but also smoother than their first time together. Somehow they fit better, and somehow it's more fluent, the way they ease into each other, now knowing what buttons to push to get the best reactions.
And somehow Wu Fan feels some kind of warmth as he holds Zi Tao as they come, both growling, their voices touched-out and hoarse.
As Zi Tao tries to sit up to leave, Wu Fan grabs his shoulder, and squeezes, eyes half closed with the ecstasy flowing inside him. Zi Tao glances at him, but lies down, and they're silent as Wu Fan's chest presses against Zi Tao's back and they both slowly float into light, restless sleep.
The third time Wu Fan meets Zi Tao is in front of his door as he comes home in the early hours of morning. They stare at each other for a moment before Wu Fan lets them in. Wu Fan is pressed against the elevator's wall as Zi Tao's mouth travels along his neck and jaw, hand rubbing his cock through his jeans, and Wu Fan groans, head thrown back against the wooden panels.
As they lay in Wu Fan's bed, naked and satisfied, Wu Fan absent-mindedly stroking Zi Tao's black locks, the black-haired male asks: "so... Do you never sleep?"
Wu Fan humms, staring at the ceilin. "A little. A couple hours a night."
He can feel Zi Tao nodding against his chest, and the boy answers: "we're on the same stage then."
And Wu Fan suddenly understands why they only meet at night time.
Zi Tao rarely leaves anymore. They both go to school, they both work some, but Zi Tao more often crashes at Wu Fan's than not. He doesn't want to go home. Wu Fan learns that Zi Tao is younger than him, likes eating, cries easily and knows martial arts. He learns that Zi Tao is shy and quiet, and doesn't bother Wu Fan too much.
Wu Fan thinks Zi Tao is perfect.
Zi Tao learns that Wu Fan is older than him, takes good care of his looks, smiles quite often despite looking intimidating when being serious, and knows three languages. He learns that Wu Fan doesn't talk too much but doesn't mind a conversation once in a while.
Zi Tao adores Wu Fan.
Wu Fan is at the university library as Chanyeol corners him, asking about why Wu Fan has been absent so much. Wu Fan brushes it off with saying he's had to work a lot and has been sick because of all the stress, but Chanyeol doesn't believe him. He still decides not to bother the blond, and drops the subject.
Their nights are spent walking around the city, sometimes driving, clubbing, and enjoying each other's presence at home. At some point Wu Fan realizes, his mind hazy with pleasure and lust as Zi Tao is on his knees in front of him, that they have proceeded from the fucking stage to something more.
Wu Fan drops out from work first. He doesn't care, he can't find it in himself to bother to care. He stops caring about anything but home. Because Zi Tao is there. He comes home and presses the boy to the nearest surface, and he feels sick with all the feelings rushing through him as the younger boy wraps himself around him.
Their sleeping hours grow fewer, until the point that they merely nap for once or twice a day, for an hour or two. Zi Tao stops going home at all, coming back to Wu Fan's apartment soaked with rain, carrying a small backpack with him, a big bruise on his right temple. Wu Fan embraces him and makes love to him, slow and gentle, and their groans and growls have gradually changed into soft gasps and cries, and Wu Fan kisses Zi Tao's tears away as he cries.
Zi Tao drops out of school, but tries to hold on to his job. Wu Fan has already dug into his savings account, the one his parents had saved up for him in case he wanted to move back to Canada and get his own apartment. It's not like he's going back anyway. Not now that Zi Tao is with him.
One day the doorbell rings and as Wu Fan opens the door there is a boy, older than Zi Tao but younger than Wu Fan by looks, with soft dark brown hair and soft eyes. Wu Fan leans to the door frame, waiting for an explanation to this.
"You're Wu Fan" the boy states, and it's not a question. Wu Fan nods. The boy bows deep. "I'm Yi Xing. I'm Zi Tao's friend. I was wondering if you knew where he was. He's not home and he hasn't come to school in two weeks. He also doesn't answer my messages. I'm worried abou- "
"Zi Tao is at work at the moment" Wu Fan cuts in, not liking the fact that this stranger is worried about Zi Tao. No one needs to be worried about Zi Tao. He can protect him. Zi Tao has everything he needs with him. "He should be home in a few hours."
Yi Xing looks puzzled. "But his parents said they haven't- "
"His home is here" Wu Fan interrupts. "You don't need to worry about Zi Tao. And I suggest you don't wait for him. I'll call the police and report you as a stalker if you do."
Yi Xing's eyebrows furrow for a second as his eyes rake over this rude blond, and as he searches Wu Fan's face, void of any make up to cover the dark circles under his eyes, he understands. "You're sick. You're sick like he is, and he's not coming home anymore."
Wu Fan chuckles darkly. "We're not sick. You people who waste your life being unconscious for hours a day are the sick ones. Zi Tao is coming home soon."
Yi Xing's eyes harden as he nods, and bows again. "Don't hurt Zi Tao, or I will hurt you. Thank you for your time." And Wu Fan closes the door against his face, not bothered by the pitying, hateful look Yi Xing gave him.
Chanyeol is the next one. Wu Fan wakes up from his trance near the borders of sleep and watches as Zi Tao gets the door. He's up in a second as he realizes who the intruder is, as Zi Tao looks intimidated by the tall male demanding to know where Wu Fan is in that ridiculously deeply voice of his.
"Chanyeol" he growls, taking Zi Tao in his arms. "What are you doing here?"
Chanyeol showers him with insults, all but snarling at him, and all of the rant about friends, school, life and other meaningless things goes straight in from one ear and out from the other.
"And- Kris, when was the last time you slept?"
Wu Fan humms, stroking Zi Tao's neck lazily. "Two days ago."
Chanyeol's eyes turn first angry, and then sad, then desperate. Wu Fan knows Chanyeol knows they've gone too far, he can't do anything for the blond anymore. "Kris, please, listen to me, we need to get you to the hospital- remember Baekhyun? You don't want to end up like Baekhyun, do you?"
Wu Fan glares at Chanyeol. "Of course I remember Baekhyun. And no, Chanyeol, I do not want to end up like him."
Chanyeol's deep voice goes an octave higher with panic as Wu Fan starts turning around, ready to shut the door. "Kris! Listen to me, you need to fucking listen to me, Kris please- Kris- Wu Fan, don't close the fucking door- "
But it's too late and Wu Fan doesn't care, he doesn't care about Chanyeol or Baekhyun, and Chanyeol's panicked cries are muffled by the thick wooden door as it slams shut against his face.
"Why did he call you Kris?" Zi Tao murmurs as they plop on the bed. "And who's Baekhyun?"
Kris humms again, and places a lazy kiss on Zi Tao's cheek. "Kris is my nickname. And Baekhyun is dead."
Zi Tao finally drops out of work, and they barely leave the apartment anymore during daytime. They drink, they party, and they gradually start eating less as all of their money goes into buying make up to cover the shadows on their features. They're still perfect, still young, still flawless to the world.
Chanyeol visits a few times, banging on the door, crying in the hallway for Wu Fan to listen to him, but Wu Fan doesn't care, because Zi Tao is his whole world and how could he ever even consider sleeping when it could risk losing moments with the beautiful creature in his arms? Eventually Chanyeol gives up, his voice broken and weak as he sighs "just like Baekhyun".
They grow paler and thinner together, and they wither in each other's holds, but they don't care. They don't sleep at all anymore, and gradually they stop leaving the house even for clubbing. It takes days for them to go to the grocery store to get enough food to keep themselves alive, and at some point they stop using make up.
Zi Tao tries to cover the dark circles under his eyes, but Wu Fan holds his hands and kisses him, pressing him against a wall, holding him tight. He tells him he loves the circles, tells him they're a sign that they're alive, the matching shadows on their faces. And Zi Tao loves him a little more again, for understanding.
It's December when they lay in Wu Fan's bed together, naked under the covers even though it's freezing, and they're both trembling with the cold, their breaths visible in the air. They haven't had the money to pay for the heating. They barely have enough money to eat once in a while, but they ignore the way their ribs and spines are clearly visible now, and Wu Fan tries not to notice the way Zi Tao's clothes droop on him, the way his hipbones jut out.
As they lay there, together, in each other's arms, Wu Fan realizes how fragile Zi Tao is in his arms, and how alive they are, how alive they have been, and he's filled with love towards the pale, corpse-like boy in his arms. He kisses Zi Tao gently, deeply, and smiles at him. "I love you, Zi Tao" he whispers, his words a puff of cool air against Zi Tao's features. "You woke me up."
Wu Fan's heart swells as Zi Tao's dark eyes, now dull and lifeless compared to the piercing power they held when they met, look into his, and the younger boy smiles, grazing his fingertips against Wu Fan's cheek. "I love you too, ge. Can I ask something from you?"
Wu Fan nods. Anything. Everything. He would give it to Zi Tao.
"Can we sleep for a minute? I don't remember what it's like..."
Wu Fan laughs, a weak, hoarse sound, and he hugs Zi Tao tighter against his chest. "If you want to" he murmurs softly, and so they close their eyes as their lips meet in a gentle, tired kiss, and they feel so alive.
Neither Wu Fan or Zi Tao wakes up anymore.