Happy Virus for everyone
For: EVERYONE
Title: Happy Virus
Pairing(s): Chanyeol/Sehun if you squint like D.O
Rating: PG-13
Warning(s): language
Length: 4.3k
Summary: He was trapped behind prison bars made of pearly whites.
Author's note: This didn't turn out exactly how I thought because I kind of twisted your prompt, but I hope you still enjoy it ^^;
Sehun and Jongin paused at the exit to the dance studio, turning back when they realized that Chanyeol wasn’t walking out with them, the giant instead downing a bottle of water as he stood in front of the mirrors. “Hyung, are you going to come back with us?”
“Nah, I need to go over it some more,” Chanyeol shook his head, a sheepish grin on his flushed face. Preparing for a comeback was always a struggle for him. He wasn’t the worst idol dancer around, but in a group with dancers as talented as the 94-line, his weak points were easier to notice. The most obvious example was the preparation for their upcoming promotion cycle. They had just received the choreography for their title track at the beginning of the week, but the two youngest members of EXO had already ironed out most of their kinks while Chanyeol was still trying to figure out how exactly he was going to get through their comeback stage without looking like a magikarp flopping around on stage.
“Wait, really?” Sehun’s eyes widened in surprise at the answer. “Hyung, we already stayed four hours after everyone else left. Even if we leave now, we’ll barely get a few hours by the time we get back to the dorms.” He frowned, “You should come with us.”
Chanyeol waved him away dismissively, “I’ll be fine.”
“Hyung, I get that you want to do your best, but you should sleep when you get the chance to,” Jongin said. “You’ve got a shoot with Baekhyun-hyung tomorrow morning, remember? You’re not going to get to sleep in.”
Chanyeol let out a laugh, “When do we ever sleep in?”
Jongin wasn’t amused. “… Point acknowledged,” he said reluctantly. “That doesn’t mean you can get enough aegyosal to cover up your entire face. You’re close enough as it is.”
“And that’s why I’m not going to do this every night,” Chanyeol replied with a snort. He grinned at the other two. “I’ll listen to you guys some other time, but I’m staying behind tonight for at least another hour. Now, you two should go back, you already missed a lot of sleep helping me learn this dance.” He winked cheekily, “Children need their sleep, you know.”
Sehun’s frown deepened as he looked at Chanyeol while Jongin sighed, realizing that they weren’t going to get anywhere. He turned away from his elder, “If you really want to do this to yourself, we can’t stop you. Come on, Sehun.” Jongin walked out the door without another word. Sehun frowned even more, alternating between looking at Jongin and looking at Chanyeol. With a mumbled request for his hyung to come back to the dorms as soon as possible and get some sleep, Sehun bid Chanyeol a good night before he went after Jongin, not wanting to go back to their dorms by himself.
When he was sure the two were gone, Chanyeol sighed. Instead of going back to the sound system and blaring music throughout the room, the giant lay down on the studio floor, long limbs spread out. His body was covered with sweat, and the floor wasn’t really faring any better, but Chanyeol couldn’t bring himself to care. Looking up at the ceiling, the bright lights staring back at him obnoxiously, he let out a deep sigh.
Chanyeol was tired.
He wasn’t just tired because he had been dancing for the better part of the day-yesterday, he reminded himself grimly, he was just tired in general. Tired of the fake people and their fake smiles, tired of the extreme fans, hell he was even tired of the dorms. Although the members were all supposed to be living like they were in some sort of brotherhood, Chanyeol didn’t see it anymore. They were like a broken toy, and the cracks in their team dynamics showed up at the most random times, threatening to destroy their group even more. No matter how much they tried to fix themselves, the cracks kept showing up, and eventually Chanyeol just wanted to go back to the dorms when he was sure that everyone else would be knocked out and he could go to sleep without dealing with anyone. We are one? Chanyeol snorted. Right now, he wanted to be one. It was just a mess when they all got together, no matter how much they tried to act like nothing was wrong. Did he blame the people who left? No. He was just… tired.
He knew it wasn’t right. He was supposed to be the Happy Virus, the Vitamin C that gave everyone energy. Chanyeol groaned, rolling over. He would curse the day he had boldly proclaimed that was his place in the group until he finally keeled over. He regretted that day more than any other. Being the eternally optimistic mood maker had changed from something fun into a ball and chain that kept him trapped behind prison bars made of pearly whites. The way Chanyeol saw it, he wasn’t allowed to be human anymore. He had to be the light in the darkness forever and always when sometimes, Chanyeol wanted nothing more than to curl up in the darkness and swim in a sea of nothingness as he went through his highs and lows.
He was tired.
“What the hell, Chanyeol?”
Chanyeol ignored the voice calling out to him as he walked to the car. He had finally finished the shoot with Baekhyun, and he wanted nothing more than to lock himself in a room where no one would be able to find him. Settling himself in his seat, Chanyeol was about to close his eyes and embrace the darkness when the car door was roughly opened before being slammed shut as someone else joined him inside of the vehicle.
“Seriously, what the fuck was that, Chanyeol? You just screwed us over!” Even if he hadn’t recognized the voice, that brand of annoyance could only belong to Byun Baekhyun.
“What do you want from me?” Chanyeol asked dryly, keeping his eyes closed.
“How about some fucking manners in the workplace?” Baekhyun snapped. “I get that you slept late last night and you’re tired, but we’re all tired. That shit doesn’t fly when only one of us decides to act like an asshole. Do you want even more articles written about you?”
“Can’t beat the oreo scandal no matter how hard I try,” Chanyeol deadpanned.
“Low fucking blow,” Baekhyun hissed.
Chanyeol was about to reply, but the door opened once more, and their manager slipped into the driver’s seat. He vaguely heard something about the magazine being kind enough to only request a private apology, but he couldn’t be sure as he had tuned out once he was sure Baekhyun would stop talking to him. Baekhyun claimed that they were both tired, but Chanyeol knew that there was a difference that Baekhyun couldn’t see.
“Hyung, you’ve really gotten better at the choreography,” Sehun said, sitting down next to Chanyeol as they finished the last group practice for the night.
“Mmm… do you think so?” Chanyeol asked lazily.
The maknae nodded, completely sure of himself, “I don’t think you need to stay back after everyone else leaves anymore.” He frowned, looking down at the floor, “You said you weren’t going to do it every night, but you’ve done it for four nights straight.” Sehun’s question was posed hesitantly, “Are… are you going to stay late tonight too?”
Chanyeol quirked a brow at the other, but before he could reply, the other members spoke up. “Sehun, aren’t you coming back with the rest of us?” Minseok asked, looking at the youngest member in confusion when he realized that the maknae hadn’t gathered up his things with everyone else.
“I…” Sehun looked unsure at what his answer should be, “I don’t know.”
“I’m staying behind,” Chanyeol said.
“No one asked you, Park Fuckyeol,” Baekhyun said in annoyance.
“I’m pretty sure Sehun did before you guys interrupted us,” Chanyeol replied. He looked to Sehun, “I’m not going crazy, am I?”
“Ah… no,” Sehun shook his head.
Baekhyun snorted, “Don’t lie to him.”
“What the hell happened between you two?” Jongdae asked, casting Baekhyun a glance, “You’ve been pissed at him ever since you came back from that shoot a few days ago.”
Baekhyun didn’t seem to have any intention of replying to the other aside from a very pointed look, so Jongdae made the executive decision to back off until another time.
Junmyeon looked between the beagle line and Sehun, trying to understand what exactly was happening to the group he was supposed to be leading. He sighed gently before a setting a disarming smile on his face, “Guys, calm down. It’s getting late, we’re all tired, and we’re starting to let it get to us.” He looked to Chanyeol, “We all know that you like to stay later, and there’s nothing wrong with that as long as you get some sleep. You’re not doing anything tomorrow until practice, so you can catch up on your sleep them. Sehun, on the other hand,” he switched targets, “has a radio show tomorrow, so he can’t make up for lost sleep as easily.” He fixed the maknae with a pleasant stare, “You’re coming back with the rest of the members.”
“Ah, okay then,” Sehun nodded obediently, knowing that he didn’t have room to argue. He looked back to Chanyeol, “You don’t need the extra practice, so try to come back soon, okay, Hyung?” Although he received no reply, Sehun gave Chanyeol a small smile before standing up to gather his things. As he left the studio, Sehun once again told Chanyeol to come back to the dorms safely and bid him a good night.
Chanyeol lay in bed, replaying the audio from Sehun, Baekhyun, and Jongdae’s radio appearance a few hours earlier. His body seemed to have been adamant about recovering its lost sleep, and he had been knocked out throughout the entire duration of the show.
“Okay, let’s be honest for a second,” the DJ said, “a group like EXO, after such a quick rise to fame, is bound to have some internal conflicts here and there, right?”
Jongdae laughed awkwardly, his discomfort with the question shining through, “We don’t have as many as people think we do.”
“Really?” The DJ sounded a little bit too surprised for Chanyeol’s liking.
“We’d be lying if we said it never happened, of course,” Baekhyun spoke up, “but our members get along with each other pretty well for the most part. I’ve only wanted to throw a punch once or twice,” he laughed.
“Oh, who was it?”
“That’s not something I should reveal, don’t you think?” Baekhyun asked teasingly.
“It was Chanyeol wasn’t it?” the DJ asked.
“What made you guess Chanyeol?” Jongdae asked with a laugh. “Because he’s not here?”
“Was I right?” he persisted.
“I’ve always said that that Chanyeol was the first friend I made in our company…” Baekhyun trailed off.
“I hear a ‘but’ in there somewhere~”
Baekhyun only laughed in reply.
“I think a lot of people will misunderstand Chanyeollie-hyung if the hyungs talk about him like this,” Sehun said with a small laugh. “He actually takes care of the other members really well. Even when we were trainees, Hyung always took care of me. Our houses were the same way, so he would make sure I got home safe, and if it was really late, he’d take me home with him.”
“Ah… is that where your nickname comes from?”
“Yeah, Chanyeollie-hyung has looked out for me from the very beginning,” Sehun agreed. “He’s someone I really trust.”
“Hey, Chanyeol, could you come in here for a second?” Junmyeon’s voice pierced through his headphones.
Chanyeol groaned, rolling over. He in no way wanted to leave his room, but he heard and understood the tone of voice that had been used. Either he got up and went to Junmyeon, or the leader was going to come to him. If Junmyeon came to his room, then he would get to choose when he left, and he probably wouldn’t leave until he got what he wanted. If Chanyeol went to him, he could leave whenever he wanted to. With a sigh of resignation, Chanyeol took his headphones out of his ears, dragged his body off of his bed, and left the room. He would give the leader five minutes.
Junmyeon was sticking his head out of his room, “In here!”
“Yeah, yeah…” Chanyeol sighed, plodding along in the hallway. He entered the room and was about to ask what the hell his leader wanted from him when he heard a click. Turning around, he realized that Minseok had come into the room after him and locked the door. The eldest member of EXO was now leaning against the door causally, but Chanyeol knew he wasn’t planning on moving unless he was tricked into doing so.
“Take a seat, Park Fuckyeol,” Baekhyun said, sitting on Junmyeon’s bed with Sehun and Jongdae, the maknae inside the middle of the other two 92-liners. Jongin sat on the floor in front of Sehun, completing a barrier of sorts. Chanyeol saw that the rest of the members were scattered around the room, eyeing him carefully. He snorted internally, was this supposed to be some sort of intervention?
Chanyeol schooled his expression, not sitting in the empty seat that was so obviously intended for him to sit in, the chair facing the rest of the members. He looked to Junmyeon, “What’s going on?”
“Please sit down, Hyung,” Sehun said quietly.
Chanyeol stared at Sehun carefully, but the other wouldn’t raise his head to meet his eyes. With a displeased expression, Chanyeol sat down on the chair, reclining slightly. He looked to the leader with a raised brow, “What did you want from me?”
Silently, Yixing handed Chanyeol a tablet. The giant was confused at the action until he realized that it was an article… about him. “What happened to the Happy Virus?” There was a picture of him from 2013, grinning widely while flashing a V at whoever was taking the picture. Next to it was a picture of him from just days earlier, and he looked like he was ready to set light to the area.
[+4,261, -859] What’s going on with Chanyeol these days? He’s looking less like a Happy Virus and more like a Flu Virus kekekeke, I always knew there was something fake about him.
[+4,034, -783] Does he even care anymore? How are EXO supposed to get past anything if he’s like this?
[+3,546, -2,034] He should just leave. He’s bringing everyone down.
[+2,155, -893] Doesn’t even have the balls to post an apology on SNS kekeke. He knows no one is going to forgive his fake ass every single time. Not even the other members’ damage control will save him now. Goodbye, Chanyeol.
“… Huh,” Chanyeol observed, staring at the screen with a blank expression. There was a cold anger simmering within him, but he suppressed it and turned to look at his fellow members, “What’s the point you guys are trying to make here?”
“Something’s wrong with you,” Junmyeon said simply, “and everyone can tell.” He offered the other a small smile, “We just want to help you get past whatever this is.”
“So you’re locking me in a room?” Chanyeol asked with a derisive snort. “Yes, that is such a great help, amazing leadership with that one,” he rolled his eyes.
“We fucking voted on this when you were out of the dorms last night doing whatever is you do after Sehun finally leaves your ass behind,” Baekhyun spoke up, coming to their leader’s defense. Baekhyun knew things weren’t perfect in their group, but Chanyeol acting like the world was against him wasn’t helping them. “Maybe if you came back once in a while, we wouldn’t have to force you to listen to us.”
“Ever thought that maybe I didn’t want to come back?” Chanyeol challenged.
Baekhyun snorted, “Sehun doesn’t let himself fall asleep until you come back, and we both know that you know that. You’ll show up eventually.”
“Seriously?” Jongdae gaped. He looked back to their maknae, “He’s shitting me, isn’t he? Tell me he’s shitting all of us, Sehun. There’s no way.”
Sehun looked away.
“You’re an ass, but you’re not going to drag him down with you,” Baekhyun said. “You always come back because you want him to go to sleep.”
“That’s a dick move either way, Chanyeol,” Minseok said, stepping forward and away from the door. “At least sit on the couch and stare at the wall. Don’t make Sehun suffer just because he decided to care about you.”
“Or you could just go to sleep,” Jongin muttered under his breath. “It might bring the normal you back if you let yourself rest.”
“The normal me back?” Chanyeol asked with dry laugh. “And what exactly is the normal me like, Jonginnie?” Chanyeol leaned back in his chair, appearing to be all too amused and all too comfortable. “Mmm… you couldn’t possibly be talking about the Happy Virus shit, could you?” Jongin stared at him warily. “Well, I’ve got news for you: Fuck being a Happy Virus. Do you think any sane human being is that happy all the time?”
Jongin’s mouth snapped shut, refusing to answer the other. He schooled his expression, but anyone could see that behind the hard eyes, hurt at Chanyeol’s words was evident.
“I only have one thing to say to you guys,” Chanyeol began. “I am fucking tired of being your little Happy Virus.” He stood up and tossed the tablet into Jongin’s lap. “Grow the fuck up and stop trying to make people fit into your pretty little boxes before this group really does fall apart.” With that said, Chanyeol took his chance, pushing past Minseok and swiftly leaving the room.
“… We’re fucked, aren’t we?” Jongin broke the silence.
“Yep,” Kyungsoo quietly replied.
“Hey, Park Fuckyeol,” Baekhyun leaned against the doorframe to the room Chanyeol shared with Jongin. “Go fix the mess you started.”
“What do you want from me, Baekhyun?” Chanyeol asked, eyes closed.
“Sehun’s crying in our room, and it’s your fault,” Baekhyun replied. “Go fix it.”
Chanyeol raised a brow, “How exactly is it my fault?”
Baekhyun gave him a dry look, “We all know it’s your fault because if you really cared about him, you would stop whatever it is that you’re doing before you actually do drag him down with you.” Baekhyun stopped himself from continuing, sighing heavily, “Look,” he began, “you keep acting like we’re trying to fight you or some shit, but we’re not. We’re only doing this because despite all the shit you’ve pulled, we still care about you even if you hate us.” He crossed his arms, “Sehun cares about you the most, so even if I think it’s stupid not to just leave you to reap what you sow because you brought it on yourself,” he said pointedly, “I care about Sehun and so do the other members. Sehun might just be the only member you care about, so go fix the mess you made and make our maknae love the world again, got it?”
Chanyeol opened his mouth to say something, but Baekhyun had already turned and left, leaving the ultimate decision up to the giant. He sighed, “Might as well…” Rolling off of the bed, he left his room and headed to Sehun’s. Chanyeol purposely acted like he didn’t see the glares the other members were sending him as he walked down the hallway. Jongin, Jongdae, Junmyeon, hell even Minseok seemed like he knew what had happened to their maknae and had decided that Chanyeol was the ultimate culprit. All they had to do was put the cuffs on him.
When Chanyeol reached Baekhyun and Sehun’s room, he knocked on the door, knowing that if he barged in, a certain somebody would try to spin it as if Chanyeol had committed another great offense against their youngest member. However, basic human decency got him nowhere as there was no reply. Chanyeol sighed once more and pushed the door open, “Sehun, I’m coming in.”
The aforementioned maknae gave a start from the corner of the room he was sitting in, legs gathered up near his chest, “H-hyung!” He quickly tried to wipe his face and hide any evidence of the tears that had been steadily streaming down his face, but Chanyeol could easily see the red eyes that gave everything away. Despite this, Sehun persisted in the act, “Did you want something from me?”
“Why are you crying over me?” Chanyeol deadpanned, “You and I both know it’s not worth it.”
“I-I wasn’t cry-” Chanyeol cut him off, and Sehun’s mouth clamped shut.
“It wasn’t Jongin or Kyungsoo who told me. It was Baekhyun. Since he barely wants to be in the same room as me right now, you were crying.” Sehun merely stared at him with wide eyes. Chanyeol ran his hand through his hair in frustration at the lack of a reply, “You’ve been doing all these stupid things for me lately. You keep waiting for me to come back to the dorms even though you lose sleep, you keep defending me on radio shows even though no one even believes you anymore, and now you’re crying over me?!” Chanyeol ended in the beginnings of a shout, and Sehun shrunk back into himself ever so slightly. Chanyeol winced at the action, “Sorry.” He sighed for what he felt was the thousandth time that day. “Just... I don’t get it,” he admitted helplessly. “Why, Sehun? You’re not getting anything out of this.”
“I do it because… I know you’re tired,” Sehun said quietly, looking down.
“What?” Chanyeol’s head snapped to attention, and he looked at Sehun in surprise. Even though the other hadn’t explained what he meant by his words, Chanyeol could tell that somehow, Sehun had figured out exactly what kind of tiredness he was feeling inside of him when no one else had been able to come close.
“…I understand it,” Sehun looked up at Chanyeol nervously. “You don’t hate performing, you don’t hate EXO-Ls, and you don’t hate any of our members, even though they think you’re doing all of this because you do. You’re just tired of being sad and not being able say anything because of your image in the group. You want to be able to say whatever you want, and since you can’t, it’s suffocating you.” As Sehun continued his deconstruction of Chanyeol’s current state, his gaze shifted to the wall behind the elder, “Because you’ve been trying to keep it inside of you without anyone noticing that there’s something wrong, it’s draining all of your energy, so it makes you even more tired. Now, you’re too tired to even hide it, and you’re going to keep on being tired until you don’t have anything left inside of you to keep yourself going.”
Chanyeol stared in shock as he caught on to what Sehun was implying, but he couldn’t bring himself to deny the claims.
Sehun continued on, “That’s why I keep doing all these things. Hyung, you’ve been taking care of me ever since we were little. Even after we debuted together, you still took care of me. When everyone thought I had a bad attitude, you defended me. Every time someone left the group, you made sure I was okay before you even thought to make sure you were okay.” It was almost sad that Sehun had used that as an example, but he wasn’t wrong in doing so. Although barely three years had passed since they had debuted, EXO had already lost more than their fair share of members, all of whom Sehun had been particularly close too. “You helped me even though you never had to do anything, so now I want to help you.” Sehun then frowned, drawing his knees closer into his chest, “You won’t let me though.”
Silence then took over the room. Sehun had said all that he had to say, and Chanyeol had no idea what to say in reply. He knew that he didn’t feel guilty despite Sehun’s words, but there was a feeling inside his gut that he couldn’t discern. Because of that, he decided to take a chance.
“What would you do if I let you?” Chanyeol asked quietly, shocking Sehun. When the other didn’t reply, he repeated himself, “What would you do if I let you help me?”
“Seriously?” Sehun stood up, looking at Chanyeol warily. At the other’s silent nod, Sehun blinked owlishly, having never expected the answer he had wanted to hear to actually make an appearance. “I… I would switch rooms with Jongin and help you fall asleep. I would try to make the members understand. I would listen to whatever you wanted to tell me, and I wouldn’t judge you for any of it. You can be happy or sad or mad… whatever it is, I’d become someone you would feel safe expressing your true self around.” With each word Sehun said, he got closer and closer to Chanyeol. Finally, he stood before his elder and looked him in the eyes, “I would tell you that you don’t have to be the Happy Virus anymore.”
Chanyeol looked back at Sehun, searching for any sense of deception in the other, but he could find nothing other than sincerity. They had known each other since they were young, and Sehun was right, he had always been taken care of by Chanyeol. Now though, Sehun wanted to be the one to take care of him. Chanyeol had never imagined that their relationship would end up changing so dramatically. It was then that Chanyeol realized something about himself: He was tired of being tired.
“Help.”
Title: Happy Virus
Pairing(s): Chanyeol/Sehun if you squint like D.O
Rating: PG-13
Warning(s): language
Length: 4.3k
Summary: He was trapped behind prison bars made of pearly whites.
Author's note: This didn't turn out exactly how I thought because I kind of twisted your prompt, but I hope you still enjoy it ^^;
Sehun and Jongin paused at the exit to the dance studio, turning back when they realized that Chanyeol wasn’t walking out with them, the giant instead downing a bottle of water as he stood in front of the mirrors. “Hyung, are you going to come back with us?”
“Nah, I need to go over it some more,” Chanyeol shook his head, a sheepish grin on his flushed face. Preparing for a comeback was always a struggle for him. He wasn’t the worst idol dancer around, but in a group with dancers as talented as the 94-line, his weak points were easier to notice. The most obvious example was the preparation for their upcoming promotion cycle. They had just received the choreography for their title track at the beginning of the week, but the two youngest members of EXO had already ironed out most of their kinks while Chanyeol was still trying to figure out how exactly he was going to get through their comeback stage without looking like a magikarp flopping around on stage.
“Wait, really?” Sehun’s eyes widened in surprise at the answer. “Hyung, we already stayed four hours after everyone else left. Even if we leave now, we’ll barely get a few hours by the time we get back to the dorms.” He frowned, “You should come with us.”
Chanyeol waved him away dismissively, “I’ll be fine.”
“Hyung, I get that you want to do your best, but you should sleep when you get the chance to,” Jongin said. “You’ve got a shoot with Baekhyun-hyung tomorrow morning, remember? You’re not going to get to sleep in.”
Chanyeol let out a laugh, “When do we ever sleep in?”
Jongin wasn’t amused. “… Point acknowledged,” he said reluctantly. “That doesn’t mean you can get enough aegyosal to cover up your entire face. You’re close enough as it is.”
“And that’s why I’m not going to do this every night,” Chanyeol replied with a snort. He grinned at the other two. “I’ll listen to you guys some other time, but I’m staying behind tonight for at least another hour. Now, you two should go back, you already missed a lot of sleep helping me learn this dance.” He winked cheekily, “Children need their sleep, you know.”
Sehun’s frown deepened as he looked at Chanyeol while Jongin sighed, realizing that they weren’t going to get anywhere. He turned away from his elder, “If you really want to do this to yourself, we can’t stop you. Come on, Sehun.” Jongin walked out the door without another word. Sehun frowned even more, alternating between looking at Jongin and looking at Chanyeol. With a mumbled request for his hyung to come back to the dorms as soon as possible and get some sleep, Sehun bid Chanyeol a good night before he went after Jongin, not wanting to go back to their dorms by himself.
When he was sure the two were gone, Chanyeol sighed. Instead of going back to the sound system and blaring music throughout the room, the giant lay down on the studio floor, long limbs spread out. His body was covered with sweat, and the floor wasn’t really faring any better, but Chanyeol couldn’t bring himself to care. Looking up at the ceiling, the bright lights staring back at him obnoxiously, he let out a deep sigh.
Chanyeol was tired.
He wasn’t just tired because he had been dancing for the better part of the day-yesterday, he reminded himself grimly, he was just tired in general. Tired of the fake people and their fake smiles, tired of the extreme fans, hell he was even tired of the dorms. Although the members were all supposed to be living like they were in some sort of brotherhood, Chanyeol didn’t see it anymore. They were like a broken toy, and the cracks in their team dynamics showed up at the most random times, threatening to destroy their group even more. No matter how much they tried to fix themselves, the cracks kept showing up, and eventually Chanyeol just wanted to go back to the dorms when he was sure that everyone else would be knocked out and he could go to sleep without dealing with anyone. We are one? Chanyeol snorted. Right now, he wanted to be one. It was just a mess when they all got together, no matter how much they tried to act like nothing was wrong. Did he blame the people who left? No. He was just… tired.
He knew it wasn’t right. He was supposed to be the Happy Virus, the Vitamin C that gave everyone energy. Chanyeol groaned, rolling over. He would curse the day he had boldly proclaimed that was his place in the group until he finally keeled over. He regretted that day more than any other. Being the eternally optimistic mood maker had changed from something fun into a ball and chain that kept him trapped behind prison bars made of pearly whites. The way Chanyeol saw it, he wasn’t allowed to be human anymore. He had to be the light in the darkness forever and always when sometimes, Chanyeol wanted nothing more than to curl up in the darkness and swim in a sea of nothingness as he went through his highs and lows.
He was tired.
“What the hell, Chanyeol?”
Chanyeol ignored the voice calling out to him as he walked to the car. He had finally finished the shoot with Baekhyun, and he wanted nothing more than to lock himself in a room where no one would be able to find him. Settling himself in his seat, Chanyeol was about to close his eyes and embrace the darkness when the car door was roughly opened before being slammed shut as someone else joined him inside of the vehicle.
“Seriously, what the fuck was that, Chanyeol? You just screwed us over!” Even if he hadn’t recognized the voice, that brand of annoyance could only belong to Byun Baekhyun.
“What do you want from me?” Chanyeol asked dryly, keeping his eyes closed.
“How about some fucking manners in the workplace?” Baekhyun snapped. “I get that you slept late last night and you’re tired, but we’re all tired. That shit doesn’t fly when only one of us decides to act like an asshole. Do you want even more articles written about you?”
“Can’t beat the oreo scandal no matter how hard I try,” Chanyeol deadpanned.
“Low fucking blow,” Baekhyun hissed.
Chanyeol was about to reply, but the door opened once more, and their manager slipped into the driver’s seat. He vaguely heard something about the magazine being kind enough to only request a private apology, but he couldn’t be sure as he had tuned out once he was sure Baekhyun would stop talking to him. Baekhyun claimed that they were both tired, but Chanyeol knew that there was a difference that Baekhyun couldn’t see.
“Hyung, you’ve really gotten better at the choreography,” Sehun said, sitting down next to Chanyeol as they finished the last group practice for the night.
“Mmm… do you think so?” Chanyeol asked lazily.
The maknae nodded, completely sure of himself, “I don’t think you need to stay back after everyone else leaves anymore.” He frowned, looking down at the floor, “You said you weren’t going to do it every night, but you’ve done it for four nights straight.” Sehun’s question was posed hesitantly, “Are… are you going to stay late tonight too?”
Chanyeol quirked a brow at the other, but before he could reply, the other members spoke up. “Sehun, aren’t you coming back with the rest of us?” Minseok asked, looking at the youngest member in confusion when he realized that the maknae hadn’t gathered up his things with everyone else.
“I…” Sehun looked unsure at what his answer should be, “I don’t know.”
“I’m staying behind,” Chanyeol said.
“No one asked you, Park Fuckyeol,” Baekhyun said in annoyance.
“I’m pretty sure Sehun did before you guys interrupted us,” Chanyeol replied. He looked to Sehun, “I’m not going crazy, am I?”
“Ah… no,” Sehun shook his head.
Baekhyun snorted, “Don’t lie to him.”
“What the hell happened between you two?” Jongdae asked, casting Baekhyun a glance, “You’ve been pissed at him ever since you came back from that shoot a few days ago.”
Baekhyun didn’t seem to have any intention of replying to the other aside from a very pointed look, so Jongdae made the executive decision to back off until another time.
Junmyeon looked between the beagle line and Sehun, trying to understand what exactly was happening to the group he was supposed to be leading. He sighed gently before a setting a disarming smile on his face, “Guys, calm down. It’s getting late, we’re all tired, and we’re starting to let it get to us.” He looked to Chanyeol, “We all know that you like to stay later, and there’s nothing wrong with that as long as you get some sleep. You’re not doing anything tomorrow until practice, so you can catch up on your sleep them. Sehun, on the other hand,” he switched targets, “has a radio show tomorrow, so he can’t make up for lost sleep as easily.” He fixed the maknae with a pleasant stare, “You’re coming back with the rest of the members.”
“Ah, okay then,” Sehun nodded obediently, knowing that he didn’t have room to argue. He looked back to Chanyeol, “You don’t need the extra practice, so try to come back soon, okay, Hyung?” Although he received no reply, Sehun gave Chanyeol a small smile before standing up to gather his things. As he left the studio, Sehun once again told Chanyeol to come back to the dorms safely and bid him a good night.
Chanyeol lay in bed, replaying the audio from Sehun, Baekhyun, and Jongdae’s radio appearance a few hours earlier. His body seemed to have been adamant about recovering its lost sleep, and he had been knocked out throughout the entire duration of the show.
“Okay, let’s be honest for a second,” the DJ said, “a group like EXO, after such a quick rise to fame, is bound to have some internal conflicts here and there, right?”
Jongdae laughed awkwardly, his discomfort with the question shining through, “We don’t have as many as people think we do.”
“Really?” The DJ sounded a little bit too surprised for Chanyeol’s liking.
“We’d be lying if we said it never happened, of course,” Baekhyun spoke up, “but our members get along with each other pretty well for the most part. I’ve only wanted to throw a punch once or twice,” he laughed.
“Oh, who was it?”
“That’s not something I should reveal, don’t you think?” Baekhyun asked teasingly.
“It was Chanyeol wasn’t it?” the DJ asked.
“What made you guess Chanyeol?” Jongdae asked with a laugh. “Because he’s not here?”
“Was I right?” he persisted.
“I’ve always said that that Chanyeol was the first friend I made in our company…” Baekhyun trailed off.
“I hear a ‘but’ in there somewhere~”
Baekhyun only laughed in reply.
“I think a lot of people will misunderstand Chanyeollie-hyung if the hyungs talk about him like this,” Sehun said with a small laugh. “He actually takes care of the other members really well. Even when we were trainees, Hyung always took care of me. Our houses were the same way, so he would make sure I got home safe, and if it was really late, he’d take me home with him.”
“Ah… is that where your nickname comes from?”
“Yeah, Chanyeollie-hyung has looked out for me from the very beginning,” Sehun agreed. “He’s someone I really trust.”
“Hey, Chanyeol, could you come in here for a second?” Junmyeon’s voice pierced through his headphones.
Chanyeol groaned, rolling over. He in no way wanted to leave his room, but he heard and understood the tone of voice that had been used. Either he got up and went to Junmyeon, or the leader was going to come to him. If Junmyeon came to his room, then he would get to choose when he left, and he probably wouldn’t leave until he got what he wanted. If Chanyeol went to him, he could leave whenever he wanted to. With a sigh of resignation, Chanyeol took his headphones out of his ears, dragged his body off of his bed, and left the room. He would give the leader five minutes.
Junmyeon was sticking his head out of his room, “In here!”
“Yeah, yeah…” Chanyeol sighed, plodding along in the hallway. He entered the room and was about to ask what the hell his leader wanted from him when he heard a click. Turning around, he realized that Minseok had come into the room after him and locked the door. The eldest member of EXO was now leaning against the door causally, but Chanyeol knew he wasn’t planning on moving unless he was tricked into doing so.
“Take a seat, Park Fuckyeol,” Baekhyun said, sitting on Junmyeon’s bed with Sehun and Jongdae, the maknae inside the middle of the other two 92-liners. Jongin sat on the floor in front of Sehun, completing a barrier of sorts. Chanyeol saw that the rest of the members were scattered around the room, eyeing him carefully. He snorted internally, was this supposed to be some sort of intervention?
Chanyeol schooled his expression, not sitting in the empty seat that was so obviously intended for him to sit in, the chair facing the rest of the members. He looked to Junmyeon, “What’s going on?”
“Please sit down, Hyung,” Sehun said quietly.
Chanyeol stared at Sehun carefully, but the other wouldn’t raise his head to meet his eyes. With a displeased expression, Chanyeol sat down on the chair, reclining slightly. He looked to the leader with a raised brow, “What did you want from me?”
Silently, Yixing handed Chanyeol a tablet. The giant was confused at the action until he realized that it was an article… about him. “What happened to the Happy Virus?” There was a picture of him from 2013, grinning widely while flashing a V at whoever was taking the picture. Next to it was a picture of him from just days earlier, and he looked like he was ready to set light to the area.
[+4,261, -859] What’s going on with Chanyeol these days? He’s looking less like a Happy Virus and more like a Flu Virus kekekeke, I always knew there was something fake about him.
[+4,034, -783] Does he even care anymore? How are EXO supposed to get past anything if he’s like this?
[+3,546, -2,034] He should just leave. He’s bringing everyone down.
[+2,155, -893] Doesn’t even have the balls to post an apology on SNS kekeke. He knows no one is going to forgive his fake ass every single time. Not even the other members’ damage control will save him now. Goodbye, Chanyeol.
“… Huh,” Chanyeol observed, staring at the screen with a blank expression. There was a cold anger simmering within him, but he suppressed it and turned to look at his fellow members, “What’s the point you guys are trying to make here?”
“Something’s wrong with you,” Junmyeon said simply, “and everyone can tell.” He offered the other a small smile, “We just want to help you get past whatever this is.”
“So you’re locking me in a room?” Chanyeol asked with a derisive snort. “Yes, that is such a great help, amazing leadership with that one,” he rolled his eyes.
“We fucking voted on this when you were out of the dorms last night doing whatever is you do after Sehun finally leaves your ass behind,” Baekhyun spoke up, coming to their leader’s defense. Baekhyun knew things weren’t perfect in their group, but Chanyeol acting like the world was against him wasn’t helping them. “Maybe if you came back once in a while, we wouldn’t have to force you to listen to us.”
“Ever thought that maybe I didn’t want to come back?” Chanyeol challenged.
Baekhyun snorted, “Sehun doesn’t let himself fall asleep until you come back, and we both know that you know that. You’ll show up eventually.”
“Seriously?” Jongdae gaped. He looked back to their maknae, “He’s shitting me, isn’t he? Tell me he’s shitting all of us, Sehun. There’s no way.”
Sehun looked away.
“You’re an ass, but you’re not going to drag him down with you,” Baekhyun said. “You always come back because you want him to go to sleep.”
“That’s a dick move either way, Chanyeol,” Minseok said, stepping forward and away from the door. “At least sit on the couch and stare at the wall. Don’t make Sehun suffer just because he decided to care about you.”
“Or you could just go to sleep,” Jongin muttered under his breath. “It might bring the normal you back if you let yourself rest.”
“The normal me back?” Chanyeol asked with dry laugh. “And what exactly is the normal me like, Jonginnie?” Chanyeol leaned back in his chair, appearing to be all too amused and all too comfortable. “Mmm… you couldn’t possibly be talking about the Happy Virus shit, could you?” Jongin stared at him warily. “Well, I’ve got news for you: Fuck being a Happy Virus. Do you think any sane human being is that happy all the time?”
Jongin’s mouth snapped shut, refusing to answer the other. He schooled his expression, but anyone could see that behind the hard eyes, hurt at Chanyeol’s words was evident.
“I only have one thing to say to you guys,” Chanyeol began. “I am fucking tired of being your little Happy Virus.” He stood up and tossed the tablet into Jongin’s lap. “Grow the fuck up and stop trying to make people fit into your pretty little boxes before this group really does fall apart.” With that said, Chanyeol took his chance, pushing past Minseok and swiftly leaving the room.
“… We’re fucked, aren’t we?” Jongin broke the silence.
“Yep,” Kyungsoo quietly replied.
“Hey, Park Fuckyeol,” Baekhyun leaned against the doorframe to the room Chanyeol shared with Jongin. “Go fix the mess you started.”
“What do you want from me, Baekhyun?” Chanyeol asked, eyes closed.
“Sehun’s crying in our room, and it’s your fault,” Baekhyun replied. “Go fix it.”
Chanyeol raised a brow, “How exactly is it my fault?”
Baekhyun gave him a dry look, “We all know it’s your fault because if you really cared about him, you would stop whatever it is that you’re doing before you actually do drag him down with you.” Baekhyun stopped himself from continuing, sighing heavily, “Look,” he began, “you keep acting like we’re trying to fight you or some shit, but we’re not. We’re only doing this because despite all the shit you’ve pulled, we still care about you even if you hate us.” He crossed his arms, “Sehun cares about you the most, so even if I think it’s stupid not to just leave you to reap what you sow because you brought it on yourself,” he said pointedly, “I care about Sehun and so do the other members. Sehun might just be the only member you care about, so go fix the mess you made and make our maknae love the world again, got it?”
Chanyeol opened his mouth to say something, but Baekhyun had already turned and left, leaving the ultimate decision up to the giant. He sighed, “Might as well…” Rolling off of the bed, he left his room and headed to Sehun’s. Chanyeol purposely acted like he didn’t see the glares the other members were sending him as he walked down the hallway. Jongin, Jongdae, Junmyeon, hell even Minseok seemed like he knew what had happened to their maknae and had decided that Chanyeol was the ultimate culprit. All they had to do was put the cuffs on him.
When Chanyeol reached Baekhyun and Sehun’s room, he knocked on the door, knowing that if he barged in, a certain somebody would try to spin it as if Chanyeol had committed another great offense against their youngest member. However, basic human decency got him nowhere as there was no reply. Chanyeol sighed once more and pushed the door open, “Sehun, I’m coming in.”
The aforementioned maknae gave a start from the corner of the room he was sitting in, legs gathered up near his chest, “H-hyung!” He quickly tried to wipe his face and hide any evidence of the tears that had been steadily streaming down his face, but Chanyeol could easily see the red eyes that gave everything away. Despite this, Sehun persisted in the act, “Did you want something from me?”
“Why are you crying over me?” Chanyeol deadpanned, “You and I both know it’s not worth it.”
“I-I wasn’t cry-” Chanyeol cut him off, and Sehun’s mouth clamped shut.
“It wasn’t Jongin or Kyungsoo who told me. It was Baekhyun. Since he barely wants to be in the same room as me right now, you were crying.” Sehun merely stared at him with wide eyes. Chanyeol ran his hand through his hair in frustration at the lack of a reply, “You’ve been doing all these stupid things for me lately. You keep waiting for me to come back to the dorms even though you lose sleep, you keep defending me on radio shows even though no one even believes you anymore, and now you’re crying over me?!” Chanyeol ended in the beginnings of a shout, and Sehun shrunk back into himself ever so slightly. Chanyeol winced at the action, “Sorry.” He sighed for what he felt was the thousandth time that day. “Just... I don’t get it,” he admitted helplessly. “Why, Sehun? You’re not getting anything out of this.”
“I do it because… I know you’re tired,” Sehun said quietly, looking down.
“What?” Chanyeol’s head snapped to attention, and he looked at Sehun in surprise. Even though the other hadn’t explained what he meant by his words, Chanyeol could tell that somehow, Sehun had figured out exactly what kind of tiredness he was feeling inside of him when no one else had been able to come close.
“…I understand it,” Sehun looked up at Chanyeol nervously. “You don’t hate performing, you don’t hate EXO-Ls, and you don’t hate any of our members, even though they think you’re doing all of this because you do. You’re just tired of being sad and not being able say anything because of your image in the group. You want to be able to say whatever you want, and since you can’t, it’s suffocating you.” As Sehun continued his deconstruction of Chanyeol’s current state, his gaze shifted to the wall behind the elder, “Because you’ve been trying to keep it inside of you without anyone noticing that there’s something wrong, it’s draining all of your energy, so it makes you even more tired. Now, you’re too tired to even hide it, and you’re going to keep on being tired until you don’t have anything left inside of you to keep yourself going.”
Chanyeol stared in shock as he caught on to what Sehun was implying, but he couldn’t bring himself to deny the claims.
Sehun continued on, “That’s why I keep doing all these things. Hyung, you’ve been taking care of me ever since we were little. Even after we debuted together, you still took care of me. When everyone thought I had a bad attitude, you defended me. Every time someone left the group, you made sure I was okay before you even thought to make sure you were okay.” It was almost sad that Sehun had used that as an example, but he wasn’t wrong in doing so. Although barely three years had passed since they had debuted, EXO had already lost more than their fair share of members, all of whom Sehun had been particularly close too. “You helped me even though you never had to do anything, so now I want to help you.” Sehun then frowned, drawing his knees closer into his chest, “You won’t let me though.”
Silence then took over the room. Sehun had said all that he had to say, and Chanyeol had no idea what to say in reply. He knew that he didn’t feel guilty despite Sehun’s words, but there was a feeling inside his gut that he couldn’t discern. Because of that, he decided to take a chance.
“What would you do if I let you?” Chanyeol asked quietly, shocking Sehun. When the other didn’t reply, he repeated himself, “What would you do if I let you help me?”
“Seriously?” Sehun stood up, looking at Chanyeol warily. At the other’s silent nod, Sehun blinked owlishly, having never expected the answer he had wanted to hear to actually make an appearance. “I… I would switch rooms with Jongin and help you fall asleep. I would try to make the members understand. I would listen to whatever you wanted to tell me, and I wouldn’t judge you for any of it. You can be happy or sad or mad… whatever it is, I’d become someone you would feel safe expressing your true self around.” With each word Sehun said, he got closer and closer to Chanyeol. Finally, he stood before his elder and looked him in the eyes, “I would tell you that you don’t have to be the Happy Virus anymore.”
Chanyeol looked back at Sehun, searching for any sense of deception in the other, but he could find nothing other than sincerity. They had known each other since they were young, and Sehun was right, he had always been taken care of by Chanyeol. Now though, Sehun wanted to be the one to take care of him. Chanyeol had never imagined that their relationship would end up changing so dramatically. It was then that Chanyeol realized something about himself: He was tired of being tired.
“Help.”