Throwing stones while living in glass houses for everyone [2/3]

[yeolliepopday]

At 7 P.M., Kim Jongin knocks on Chaejin’s door. Chanyeol hastens to answer it, in the middle of the confusion caused by his necktie, but decides to hell with it. He opens the door to find Jongin, dressed up for the event.

“Oh… Jesus…”

“Pardon?”

“Sorry. I was just praying before you arrived,” Chanyeol says, closing the door behind Jongin. “Uh… Chaejin is still busy getting dressed.”

He tries not to think about how the suit is a good fit on Jongin and how the white shirt is slightly tight on him but not tight enough to restrict movement. His hair is pushed back instead of being down like the usual, expertly styled. If Chanyeol didn’t know better, he would say that it was styled by a professional, but he is more than aware of Jongin’s skills with gel. When Jongin smiles at Chanyeol, he can’t help but notice that his best friend’s jawline seems sharper than Chanyeol can remember.

“Need help, hyung?” Jongin motions at the tangled mess of a tie around his neck. Words have betrayed him long ago when he’s laid eyes on him, so like a fool, Chanyeol nods his head. Jongin strides towards him and it takes all of Chanyeol’s will to not step back. Jongin untangles the tie before proceeding to tie it with precision. Chanyeol breathes in Jongin’s scent, when he feels something unpleasant spurt in his chest. It’s gone just as quickly as it has appeared, leaving Chanyeol dumbfounded.

“Oh. You’re here,” Chaejin says, just as Jongin finishes doing Chanyeol’s tie. Jongin steps back to look at Chanyeol from head to toe, nodding in approval, before turning to face Chaejin.

“Oh,” Jongin says, giving Chaejin a full once over. The first thing he notices is how her ears are hidden by her long hair. The second thing is the black half-sleeved dress that she’s wearing. Jongin tries not to let his eyes wander, but it’s impossible when it’s a dress that outlines her figure. He thinks that the floral embellishment on the bodice is something that screams Chaejin, and it makes him smile.

“Oh, God,” she breathes out, finally taking in what Jongin is wearing.

Jongin raises an eyebrow at her. “You’re religious, too?”

“That’s not what I meant,” she says, placing her cosmetics by her bedside mirror. She walks to Jongin in a few long strides before she’s standing right before him. Something seems off, until her gaze lands on his neck and an idea pops in her mind. She unbuttons the top two buttons on Jongin’s polo, and examines her creation. “This looks better.”

“I feel exposed,” Jongin says weakly.

“You walk around half naked most of the time,” Chaejin says without missing a beat. “I don’t see how two buttons would make a difference. Yeol, what do you think?” She and Jongin turn their gazes to Chanyeol, whose mouth is slightly apart as if deep in thought.

“Good. It looks good,” Chanyeol says, before clearing his throat. “Anyway, let’s get going in twenty minutes, yeah?” The younger two agree, and Chanyeol takes that time to watch tv in his room instead.

--

In hindsight, they should have known it would turn out to be like this. Chaejin tugs on her elbow length chiffon sleeves as she eyes the other women at the party, looking luxurious with their expensive jewellery. She does her best to ignore how good Jongin looks and wonders how they could look for richer clients in the future, just so she could see him dressed up again without raising any suspicions. She soon regains her composure as they walk deeper into the mansion, and come to face with the host himself. Lu Han looks elegant with his hair styled up matched with the graceful smile on his face.

“Ah, the Park Twins! I’m glad you could make it,” Lu Han beams at them, and Chaejin thanks Saint for teaching her about looks and deception. The last thing she needs is to be charmed by a man this powerful. By the calmness that she’s feeling, she can tell that Chanyeol feels the same.

Chanyeol does a deep bow, and Jongin and Chaejin follow his lead. “Thank you for inviting us, Mr Lu Han. We are privileged to be here.”

“My pleasure,” Lu Han says, as his gaze focuses on Jongin who is standing behind them. As if on instinct, both Chanyeol and Chaejin move in closer to hide Jongin from his sight. The man laughs, and it’s anything but comforting. “Is he your boyfriend?” he asks.

“No,” the twins reply in unison. The smile on Luhan’s face widens, and something tells Chaejin that they had just done was a very wrong move.

“I see,” he says, looking at the twins before him. “I hope you find the food and drinks to your liking. Do tell me if there’s anything you need. Enjoy yourselves, you deserve it.” He eyes Jongin one last time, and Chaejin recognises a rising feeling in her chest as determination mixed with fear.

When Lu Han leaves, the three of them let out a collective sigh. In an attempt to lighten the mood, Jongin nudges Chaejin and says, “so am I really not your boyfriend?”

Chaejin shoots him a glare. “No. God. We messed up.” Chanyeol nods in agreement as he pinches the bridge of his nose. Jongin looks between the two of them in a confused manner,
looking like a puppy despite how dressed up he is tonight.

“What… What messed up?” Jongin asks.

“I shouldn’t have answered,” Chanyeol grumbles, “saying that… saying no without thinking.”

“What does it matter?”

Chanyeol gives him an exasperated look. “The way that Chae and I responded quickly when he didn’t ask anyone in particular means that you’re important… to the both of us. That’s a very dangerous piece of information for a man like him to hold.”

Jongin blinks for a few moments, letting his words sink in. When they do, he shivers and if Chaejin isn’t so angry at herself for making that slip, she would have found it adorable. Maybe. Not really. Maybe a little bit. She fights down any lingering emotions just so Chanyeol doesn’t notice.

“Anyway,” Chaejin tugs at the men’s arms. “What are we doing here tonight?”

“Please tell me it’s for fun, hyung,” Jongin looks at him. Not getting a response, he tries again, “Chanyeol hyung?”

“Huh?” Chanyeol turns to look at him. “Oh. Yeah. Just enjoy yourselves. I’m going to go and look around… see if there are any suspicious things about Lu Han.”

Chaejin steps forward. “Shouldn’t I come with you for that, then?”

Chanyeol cracks a smile for the first time since they’ve arrived. “Nah. You and Jongin should have fun. It’s more suspicious if more than one person does it. I’ll let you know if there’s any trouble, alright?” He holds up his phone and doesn’t give Chaejin the reply as he leaves the two to their own.

“I came here as a date for the two of you, but I feel like one of them just ditched me,” Jongin says with a sigh. He turns to Chaejin and suggestively raises his eyebrows. “I guess that means-”

“Don’t be weird, Jongin-ah,” she says, trying to fight down warm and fluttery feelings that rise in her chest. No, Chaejin, that’s against the rules.

Jongin laughs in such a cute and carefree way that always threatens Chaejin to bring down her defences. She keeps forgetting that he’s younger by two years by all the care and attention that he always gives her, but maybe that’s the point of it: age doesn’t make a difference when you care for someone.

“Nope,” Chaejin says aloud, and Jongin looks at her. “Sorry. I meant ‘nope,’ we can’t keep standing here. Let’s go and get some food.” Being alone with Jongin is the last thing that she needs, when she’s all been about strictly following and living the Saint principles.

Jongin offers his arm to her, and her entire being is telling her to say no. But - but it’s a party, and they’re meant to look normal, so might as well, right? To hell with this, I’ll blame the champagne later if Chanyeol gets suspicious, Chaejin says as she takes Jongin’s arm.

--

Chanyeol quickly gets to work. He studies the people around him, all of which are of the higher class. There’s a woman in her mid-forties carrying her Yorkshire Terrier, a man in his mid-forties in the middle of a seemingly important phone call, a young man bragging about his expensive watch to a young woman. They all look important, but Chanyeol can’t help but feel that they aren’t important enough.

“Looking for someone?” The woman with her Yorkshire Terrier asks. The dog barks at him and Chanyeol flinches. He adores dogs but his allergies make it impossible for him to befriend them.

“No,” Chanyeol answers, knowing full well that it sounds like a lie. “I was just looking around at all the people…”

“Not used to these types of parties, are you?”

Chanyeol looks sheepish, and the woman laughs, finding him endearing. “I was just wondering… what everyone is here for… what are we all celebrating?”

The woman looks shocked. “Oh, dear, don’t you know? That’s alright, don’t fret. Mr Lu Han will make the announcement soon. It’s quite an accomplishment, and he has all the rights to be proud of himself.” Chanyeol merely nods, agreeing with everything that the woman is saying before he excuses himself.

He hates the atmosphere. It’s like the fun is so close but his suspicions about Lu Han make it difficult to do anything, almost taunting him for his life and his choices. His worries soon disappear as he rejoices at the sight of sushi, to the point of stuffing his mouth with three of them all at once.

“Whoa, there,” Jongin approaches him with a smile on his face. Chanyeol tries not to notice his linked arms around Chaejin’s, focusing on breathing through the sushi instead. “Did you find anything interesting?”

Chanyeol swallows before he nods. “Yeah. The sushi.”

Jongin narrows his eyes at the plate of food before turning to Chanyeol with a nod. “You’re right. I knew something was fishy here.”

“Wow,” Chanyeol agrees, “I did not sea that coming.”

“You really took the bait,” Jongin scolds him, and the twins lose it. The feeling of warmth rises in Chanyeol’s chest, and he doesn’t know if it’s because they’re having so much fun, or if it’s because both of them find Jongin so adorable.

Chanyeol stops laughing soon after, looking for a glass of champagne. He smiles at the two of them, but he has to admit that the fact that he can feel his sister’s emotions is something that leaves him disoriented, even to this day. There are too many occasions in which he can’t differentiate between his own emotions and Chaejin’s. Privacy is not something that the Park twins have. He takes another sip of champagne in order to drown the voices in his head and to focus on Chaejin and Jongin’s conversation.

The high pitched sound of a fork being tapped against glass brings Chanyeol back to reality. He turns towards the staircase to find Lu Han standing tall and proud, and Chanyeol wonders what it is with rich men and toasts, when all they ever do is boast. (He’s quite proud of that rhyme.)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, I hope that the delicacies are to your liking.” Chanyeol can’t help but stare at Lu Han, not out of common courtesy, but there’s something in the way in which Lu Han holds himself that captivates him. “As you all know, Apollo Pharmaceuticals continues to rise as one of the top pharmaceutical companies worldwide. We continue to show our compassion towards each other, and know how difficult it is to watch our loved ones suffer. That’s when I had an idea. Along with our pharmacologists, we have come up with a new medicine - one that will solve our problems and do better than any other painkillers can. Not only will our newest product take away the pain felt by the person, but it will also make them feel good and happy.”

Chanyeol blinks at that. Now he understands why Lu Han had asked for Saint to look after their company, just in case someone would try and steal something like this. He exchanges incredulous looks with Chaejin and Jongin, the expressions on their faces are similar to his.

“We will create a more stable society with this product. It can help prolong the span of human lives, and it can promote a healthier mental health for today’s society. Happiness and relief - all in one pill. Apollo Pharmaceuticals look forward to having your support.”

A round of applause. Chanyeol is beyond stunned - he’s actually impressed. Something like that could be helpful to him and his sister - it erases so many worries and fears. The thought of it makes Chanyeol grin from ear to ear. The adults around him involve him in their small talk, talking about how revolutionary Luhan’s creation is, and all Chanyeol can do is nod in agreement. He had known that there would be something in this party that would give him an idea about why Lu Han asked for their help, and this is something different - this is something that Chanyeol is actually willing to do, willing to help with. A cause.

Chanyeol excuses himself to get some fresh air, and his sister and best friend look at him worriedly. He brushes off their looks before heading outside, the effects of champagne taking its toll. After fifteen minutes of standing outside, he heads back to find that his heart rate is too high. He picks up his pace, curious as to whether this is the effect of champagne or something else. When he realises that the song playing is a slow song, he immediately looks around for Chaejin. It doesn’t take him long to find her smiling sheepishly at a gentle Jongin his with hand outreached towards her.

The warm feeling in his chest blossoms, and Chanyeol doesn’t know what to do with it. It’s their own private intimate moment, but he feels like he’s taking that away by being a witness to all of Chaejin’s emotions. As if slowly waking up from a dream, he realises what’s happening and an unpleasant feeling begins to make its way to his chest. He’s vaguely aware of a helpless and terrible feeling, but he tries his best to shrug it off. It’s too late, Chanyeol realises, when Chaejin stops dancing with Jongin to look around. The main disadvantage to having a height like Chanyeol’s is that it’s almost impossible for him to hide. It only takes Chaejin three seconds to find her older brother staring at her with unmoving eyes.

--

Halfway through the night, Chaejin waves off Chanyeol and Jongin to have their own fun. Chanyeol shoots her questioning looks, but she merely shrugs. “You’ve had too much champagne to do your job properly. Go have some fun.”

Chanyeol wonders if there’s a hint of guilt behind Chaejin’s actions, but he doesn’t get the chance to ask when she quickly turns away from them to mingle with the other guests.

“I don’t feel good about this,” Chanyeol says, watching his sister’s retreating back. Jongin nods in agreement, but tugs at the sleeves of Chanyeol’s suit.

“But hyung, she has a point. You work too much, but you need to chill. Besides, Chaejin can handle all of the people here. Don’t forget that she’s also wearing the shoes that you modified.”

Chanyeol looks like he’s about to protest once again, so Jongin takes that opportunity to grab Chanyeol’s hand and leave the hall.

“Jongin-”

“Shh,” Jongin says, pulling him through the crowd without saying another word. He tightens his hold on Chanyeol’s hand, lacing their fingers together in fear of getting lost. “Just think about this as one of those romantic scenes in those movies, hyung. We’re sneaking away.”

That makes Chanyeol shut up, and they continue to walk through the back door and out into the gardens. There’s no one around, and Chanyeol appreciates the silence more than anything. Jongin walks by his side, all the while staring up at the sky.

Chanyeol mimics him. “Are you having a deep philosophical or emotional moment, Jongin?”

“No, my neck was just hurting so I decided to look up,” Jongin says, making Chanyeol laugh. “That’s more like it,” he says, and the grin on Chanyeol’s face only continues to grow.

“I was just thinking,” Jongin begins, after a long comfortable silence, “that we’ve never been to a party like this before. It’s not something that anyone can just experience, you know? Like, being in Saint does have its perks.”

“You mean like seeing my face everyday,” Chanyeol says without missing a beat. Jongin’s melodious laugh is enough to keep Chanyeol warm in this night.

“That, too,” Jongin says with a tone that Chanyeol can’t quite identify. “I mean, I know sometimes we might seem messed up to other people, but being in Saint… there’s some sort of familiarity to it, you know?”

“Yeah,” Chanyeol agrees. “But sometimes, I think, especially for our group - being in Saint doesn’t only give us a purpose, but we also get each other. I mean… it’s sad that we’ve all joined because we’ve lost family members, but meeting you isn’t a bad thing.”

Jongin nods in agreement. “Yeah, I’ve known you far longer than I’ve known my own family.”

“This is a really sappy conversation. I can’t stand this,” Chanyeol says. Jongin throws him a judging look, but Chanyeol only smiles as a response before taking the younger’s hand in his. He begins to walk and Jongin follows him with a confused look on his face.

“Hyung, where are we going?”

“To chill,” Chanyeol answers, giving Jongin more confusion rather than clarity. The answer comes into view two minutes later when they see the swimming pool closer to the back door of Lu Han’s mansion, and Jongin begins to tug his hand back away from the older.

“Hyung. Hyung, no. Hyung.” Chanyeol looks at him over his shoulder, and the smirk on his face is unmistakable. Jongin holds his free hand up in the air, taking a defensive stance, suddenly hating the height difference between them. Chanyeol suddenly seems more intimidating, especially with his iron grip hold on Jongin’s hand. “Park Chanyeol, don’t you dare.”

In a flash, Chanyeol extends his arm and manages to get a tight embrace on Jongin. The younger starts to squeal in protest, before tugging his shoes off, finally giving up. Chanyeol swings him side to side for a few moments, and Jongin thinks his heart is about to jump out from his chest in anxiety and anticipation, wondering when the cold water will hit him. The answer comes a few moments later when he’s thrown into a pool that’s two metres deep. He’s thankful for all those years of Saint training otherwise he would have started crying for help.

“I hate you so much,” Jongin says between bursts of laughter, “so much. I can’t believe we’re friends.”

“Best friends,” Chanyeol says, somewhat offended.

“Help me out here, friend.”

“That’s beautiful,” Chanyeol says with an amused smile. Jongin’s teeth begin to chatter and Chanyeol reaches out a hand to pull him up. Jongin accepts the offer and allows the older to wrap his arms around him in a hug.

“Well,” Jongin says, looking at their rather intimate pose, “since your suit is already wet, we can’t help it, can we?”

Chanyeol throws him a questioning look. “Wha-” But he doesn’t get the chance to finish his question when he finds that Jongin’s arms are pulling both of them into the pool. The cold water seeps through the suit and Chanyeol curses everything because now even his shoes are wet.

They arrive at their car ten minutes later and Chaejin can only stare at their wet clothes with disdain.

“Sit in the back,” she commands. “And think about what you’ve done.”

--

Sometimes when a person becomes too familiar with something, they develop a sixth sense for it. Whether it be a person, an object or a scenario, it’s something that a person learns to identify, even with the slightest hint. It only makes sense that as a Saint member, Park Chanyeol follows his instinct as a precaution. Given, he had been impressed with Lu Han’s plans two weeks ago and he had sworn to protect the medicine for Apollo Pharmaceutical’s sake. After giving some time to think about it, however, Chanyeol began to have doubts. It was too good an idea to be true, and what was there to protect anyway? He knows that he might just be taking a shot in the dark, but the way Lu Han eyed Jongin that night still gives Chanyeol the creeps.

You know what they say - keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. This is why Chanyeol finds himself standing in the first floor of the Apollo Pharmaceuticals’ main building, now working as a part-time bodyguard. He had gone out of his way to do this, rather than being on-call as what Lu Han had suggested. Their client had been pleased with his offer that he couldn’t decline, and offered to pay Chanyeol extra. Chanyeol is quite satisfied with this plan since now he doesn’t have to be holed up in the headquarters, he’s able to get more information about Lu Han and he gets paid.

Chaejin had been set against it, just as Chanyeol expected. “We’re supposed to work together. I’ll go with you.”

“It’s not Saint work,” Chanyeol said in attempt to calm her anxieties. “It’s work, as in I’m getting paid and getting work experience. You ever heard of those things?”

Chaejin had blinked at him like he had gone insane. He only patted her in the head and told her to find something productive to do in the mean time. He’s ashamed by the fact that he had been able to lie to her easily, but lying has become his second nature. He has become an expert at lying to other people, to his sister, and to himself. Chanyeol supposes that’s a given if he’s a member of an organisation like Saint and his emotions know no privacy.

“Chaejin was right. You do look good in your new uniform.”

The familiar voice snaps Chanyeol back to reality. He eyes the newcomer from head to toe, and he’s the slightest bit thankful that Jongin is wearing semi-formal clothes with a backpack. If he had been wearing his casual clothing, he’s sure that the other guards would have questioned him non-stop. Although they are nice and cheerful to talk to, they take their job very seriously. Speaking of which, Chanyeol realises with a jolt that Jongin has come to visit him, and he grabs his best friend’s elbow to take him outside in a calm and calculating manner.

“I appreciate your sentiments, but what are you doing here?” Chanyeol asks, brows furrowing as the image of Lu Han looking at Jongin crosses his mind once again. He wishes to take them further away from the building, but he can’t be gone for too long or the other guards would get suspicious.

Jongin grins up at him like an excited child on Christmas morning. “I wanted to see you at work. Can’t I visit?”

“No, you can, but not… not when I’m working for Lu Han. You saw how he has you in his radar now, I can’t have you anywhere near him.”

Jongin raises an eyebrow at him. “And you can be near him? You’re so worried about me being near him that you’re not taking your safety into account?”

“That’s not it. I’m useful to him. You’re not. You’re leverage. That’s very bad, Jongin. I have never faced any Saint tasks with either the client or the enemy knowing about you.” The worried look in Chanyeol’s eyes is enough to convince the younger. Jongin takes a deep breath and nods in agreement, and Chanyeol visibly and audibly lets out a huge sigh of relief.

Jongin gives him a timid smile, patting his arm in the process. “I get it, hyung. But ah, here…” He stops for a moment to take something out of his backpack, and it takes Chanyeol a moment to realise that it’s packed lunch. Jongin cooked for him.

“Oh!” Chanyeol’s eyes light up. He allows that brief moment for a feeling of warmth to take over his senses. “Wow, you didn’t have to. Thanks, Jongin-ah.”

Jongin nods. “Anyway, I should get going. I was going to steal some of it and eat with you, but I don’t want Lu Han to get any ideas. Have your lunch soon and do well in your job. You should go back inside… after all, you can’t be gone for too long, right? I’ll make sure to stay away from this place.”

“Alright, thank you again,” Chanyeol says as he watches his best friend walk away before he enters the building once again. He stares at the ground as he walks step by step, letting it sink in that Jongin had intended to eat with him in the first place. The receptionist and the other guards eye him, asking about the identity of the man.

Chanyeol raises the lunchbox to give as an answer, and one of the older guards ask him, “Boyfriend?”

“Nah,” Chanyeol says, ducking his head from hearing such a blunt question. He ignores the knowing looks that the other guards give each other, and the burning that he can feel at the tips of his ears.

“Ah, to be young in love and in denial,” the receptionist says, but Chanyeol shifts their attention to the fly that has suddenly infiltrated the front desk, claiming that it’s a wasp. Chaos ensues and Chanyeol has to fight down his laughter.

--

The next few weeks after the party pass by without much notice. Chaejin doesn’t want to say that she’s disappointed that there isn’t much to do - because what does that say about her morals? - but the only interesting job they’ve taken on lately is Lu Han’s. She’s not particularly sure what he wants from Saint, when all he’s told them to do is to protect him and ensure that Apollo Pharmaceuticals is able to launch its latest product.

Sadly, the lack of jobs recently means that their uncle expects them to make use of their time wisely. Chaejin had been set on practicing her martial arts and Chanyeol on his hacking skills, but what their uncle said had nothing to do with Saint: freedom ; more specifically, living the normal life of an adult in Korea’s society.

Chaejin is completely fine with the idea. Maybe. She’s not too thrilled about talking to people outside her small group of friends, but she isn’t left with much choice. Chanyeol had applied for a part-time job as a bodyguard at Apollo Pharmaceuticals. This leaves Chaejin alone to figure out what to do. Fortunately, Jongin is offering to keep her company in Chanyeol’s absence. Unfortunately, it’s Jongin.

Ever since Lu Han’s party, Chaejin doesn’t know if it’s her imagination, but Jongin has been spending more time with her. Maybe it’s just my wishful thinking, she scolds herself, after all, Yeol was busy during that night… and after that… The thought of the party leaves a warm feeling in her stomach which makes her heart feel lighter than it should, for someone who works in an organisation like Saint. This isn’t possible, she tells herself repeatedly, if I feel something, then Chanyeol will feel it, and he would tell uncle and who knows what would happen to Jongin?

It’s the reason why she tries her best to not be alone with him. Stupid hormones. Although Chaejin strictly follows the rules, it’s only for the benefit of herself and her friends - it’s not because she actually wants to. Chanyeol, on the other hand, is always dutiful to their uncle and the organisation. Chaejin could almost hear the panic and disappointment in Chanyeol’s voice if she told him that she may have feelings for Jongin. May.

It’s difficult to maintain those feelings these days, especially since she’s joining Jongin at a dance studio located nearby. She has always known that Jongin is a good dancer from a young age. After all, she ended up taking lessons for him which explains the precision and fluidity in her movements. Today, they are teaching their students about dance… only their students are young children. (Jongin. Dancing. Clothing that shows off his figure. Children. What did Chaejin do to deserve this?)

She watches now as Jongin is nursing a little boy’s bruise on his knee. Memories of Jongin caring for Chaejin whenever she messed up and hurt a part of herself suddenly overwhelm her now, unable to help but feel nostalgic.

“It’s okay, you’ll be okay,” Jongin pats the boy’s head, who looks at him with bright, glossy eyes. “You can still become one of the best dancers in the world. Sometimes you fall down and get hurt, but it’ll be okay. You just need to stand up again, and sometimes other people can help you with that. No one’s going to laugh at you.” He pauses, as if deep in thought, and he smiles. “Do you want to try it? I’ll help you up. I promise I got you.” He holds out his pinky, and the boy laces his own around Jongin’s.

With fascination, she watches as Jongin puts his arms around the boy, helping him stand up. Once the boy appears to be steady on his own two feet, he decides to join the rest of the dancing class to show off that he’s brave. Jongin can’t help but smile at the image, and all Chaejin can feel is pride. That was not the image of Saint’s golden boy at all. As if sensing that he’s being watched, Jongin looks over his shoulder to see Chaejin’s gaze on him. The corner of his lips turn up, and Chaejin wants to scream at how Jongin smirks before fully smiling. It’s not fair. (It’s also very hot and cute, but she’s not going to admit that.)

“You want to go to a bar later?” Jongin asks when all the children are busy eating their snacks. “Relieve some stress and have some fun.”

“Is that a date?” Chaejin teases, raising an eyebrow. The way Jongin sputters upon hearing her question is almost hilarious if it wasn’t downright adorable. “You think I’m that easy?”

Jongin holds up his hands. “I was just wanting to go out for drinks, but okay… if you really don’t want to…”

“Sehun really needs to get back here soon,” Chaejin says, staring at the wall behind Jongin for no particular reason. “You’re being so clingy to me.” Jongin pouts, and Chaejin rolls her eyes. This is impossible. Being friends with Jongin is the real mission impossible. “Fine. I’ll go with you only because you’re so pitiful, and you’re paying.”

“I’m… what?”

Chaejin smiles at him. “What? You think my time is free? Even here I’m getting paid for helping out. As long as you pay for the drinks then I’m in.”

“You’re so mean…” Jongin frowns. “I’m your favorite dongsaeng…”

“And I’m the niece of Saint’s leader. I cannot fathom how you expected niceness from me.”

Jongin narrows his eyes at her, his lips slightly parted, feigning hurt. Chaejin can almost hear the gears turning in his mind, and it’s always been interesting how once you become close with someone, you could almost follow their train of thought. Chaejin pats him in the head condescendingly and smiles, “You’re not allowed to say any of those here, Jongin-ah. Bad words are not to be said in front of so many children. I’m sure you can work out something, Saint’s golden boy.” The way she hits Jongin in the arm before walking away is playful and affectionate, but she knows it’s enough to annoy him in the slightest.

--

They arrive at a decent-looking bar called Black Pearl. True to his word (or rather Chaejin’s), Jongin pays for their drinks. Jongin had led the way to a booth, taking account of Chaejin’s disinterest and paranoia towards other people. She’s only on her first drink, but he can tell that she’s beginning to feel more at ease.

“Do you like working at the studio, Chae?” He asks, and she blinks for a few moments, letting his question sink in.

“Oh, yeah. I like it. Children aren’t… aren’t like adults. I love children. I like dancing,” Chaejin adds, as if it’s something that Jongin hadn’t already known. Why else would he invite her in the first place? “I like getting money, too.”

“Good… that’s good…”

“Why do you like dancing, Jongin-ah?” Chaejin tilts her head to one side, squinting her eyes at him through the dark. “You’re always so happy whenever you dance, and you act like you’re a different person, it’s… weird. But a good kind.”

Jongin laughs at the expression on her face and leans closer so she doesn’t have to strain her eyes too hard. “I like it because I feel… expressive and free. I feel in control of my own body, if that makes sense. Like, there are so many factors in this world that try to control my thoughts and emotions, but with dance I get my own control and freedom. I love it. It’s relaxing and it’s fun.”

“That’s good. I like watching you dance.”

Jongin’s ears perk up at that. “Why?”

“You look happy. It makes me happy,” Chaejin says, and that’s her cue to stand up and request for her second drink. And third. And fourth. And fifth.

“Chae, should you be drinking this much?” Jongin asks, worried about his wallet but not as much as the worry for the girl sitting next to him. Chaejin eyes him warily and sighs.

“You said to relax. Relieve stress. That’s what I’m doing.”

“But… what are you stressed about?” Jongin asks, intrigued. He has never heard Chaejin seriously complain about anything.

Chaejin looks at him dead in the eye. “You.” Jongin raises an eyebrow at that, before she starts laughing. “No, I’m just… it’s weird. Not having Yeol around all the time is weird. I keep thinking that I can just call him up on my earpiece, then I realise I’m not wearing it. This thing with part-time jobs is weird. Don’t you think so?”

He does. He doesn’t know why Chanyeol had proposed working for Apollo Pharmaceuticals, when they have never gone out of their way to please a client before. He doesn’t know why their uncle allowed it in the first place.

“It’s kind of… like… playing house for me,” Chaejin admits, and Jongin nods in understanding. “I’ve been so used to life around Saint that I’ve been ignoring the rest of the world to the point that I forget it exists. I like this job thing sometimes, but it’s weird, and it makes me sad that I find something so normal as weird, you know?”

“Yeah… Yeah, I know,” Jongin says, patting her in the shoulder and moving closer towards her, in the case that she might begin to feel sick.

“I think of what other twenty-three year olds worry about - should they study more in university? Do training? What about job security? Paying for the bills and for the rent every month… Settling down with someone you love and starting a family…”

Jongin hums as a response, deep in thought. “Maybe that’s why your uncle has allowed you to have this experience. Even though he’s the head of the organisation, he still cares about your futures. I think he wants to keep you close, but he doesn’t want to restrict you as a Saint member.”

“But sometimes I think that maybe the reason I don’t think about starting a family is because I don’t want to…” Chaejin’s voice falters to examine the look of disappointment and sadness on Jongin’s face. “...I don’t want to leave my children to the world. I know it’s not given that that would happen to them just because it happened to me, but because it happened to me, I have this fear, you know? I want people to love and feel safe around, and to share my life with, but it’s such a huge thing to ask from me.”

“You don’t have to worry about it now,” Jongin soothes her as she blinks away tears that are beginning to form. “Whatever happens, you have Chanyeol, Sehun and I.”

“Yeah…” Chaejin sighs, nodding her head along to the music. “I like this song. Dance with me, Jongin-ah?”

“Are you sure that’s wise?”

“Nope. Absolutely not. But you’ll be there, right?” Chaejin tugs on Jongin’s hand, and she leads him to the dance floor where there’s a swarm of people jumping and dancing along to the song. If Chaejin was sober, she would have run out at this situation, but she isn’t, and Jongin wonders if this is Chaejin being brave or reckless.

Chaejin moves her body to the music despite the lack of personal space. Jongin eyes her warily, torn between wanting to dance along but also keeping a close look on her. He sighs as Chaejin motions for him to dance, and he does what he’s told. In that period of time, Jongin loses himself to the effects of alcohol, the atmosphere in the bar, and the feeling of fondness that he feels for Chaejin who is standing so close to him, but seemingly far away. Always so far away.

The fun of the night soon ends when Jongin turns his head back to look at Chaejiin to find that two hands have made their way on Chaejin’s waist, and a man is leaning too close for comfort. He whispers something in Chaejin’s ear, and Jongin feels like vomiting, realising that this man is probably telling her to go home with him. Chaejin resists him, claiming that he isn’t Jongin, and the man only smirks at him.

“Sweetie, I am Jongin. The better version of him.”

Just as Jongin is about to step in and throw a punch at the man, Chaejin beats him to it. Jongin will laugh at that scene for many days in the near future, but in that moment, all he feels is fear. Chaejin shakes her fist, shocked at the impact it had made. The people are moving away, creating space and wanting to avoid the fight. Chaejin’s eyes meet his in the crowd, and she takes his hand and but doesn’t flee the scene without exclaiming, “in your face!”

They run out into the street, and that’s when they burst out into laughter.

“The bastard thought he could hit it with me. Fucking delirious. He asked me, ‘home you go wanna me?’ Completely smashed. And I thought Iwas drunk.”

Jongin laughs and Chaejin shakes her head in dismay. “Chae? Are you okay, though?”

“Huh?”

“Are you okay - I mean, getting that experience in such a huge crowd?”

Chaejin blinks at him, and their footsteps begin to falter. “No, but I feel slightly better after having done that. I hope he’s learning his lesson now.”

“Okay,” Jongin says, carefully. “Just take it slow now, okay?”

“Yeah,” Chaejin breathes out. She looks up at the sky free of any stars, and groans in disappointment. “This is supposed to be the scene in one of those movies in which we talk about our deep feelings.”

“We have deep feelings?”

“Don’t we?” Chaejin turns to look at him. “We always have deep feelings about everything.”

Jongin laughs nervously, and Chaejin turns away from him to hide the disappointment on her face. He catches it, though. He puts an arm around her shoulder, keeping her close. “I guess we do. But sometimes I assume we know without talking. You know what they say - there are walls in the ears or something.”

“The walls have ears,” Chaejin corrects him. “And I’mdrunk.”

They laugh at that, and it dies down to a comfortable silence. As if sensing her hesitance, he whispers, “but it’s a secret, isn’t it? At least, for now. One day, in the future, we’ll be able to talk about it. Whether we talk about it or not doesn’t change its validity.”

“Yeah,” Chaejin agrees. “We have to work really hard to keep it a secret, or Lu Han would kill us.”

Jongin does a double-take at that. Chaejin had been talking about Lu Han? He turns to her to ask the question, but she passes out with her head resting on his shoulder.

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