would you mind if I hurt you? (understand that I need to) for bluedreaming
For: bluedreaming
Title: would you mind if I hurt you? (understand that I need to)
Pairing(s): Chanyeol/Kai, Chanyeol/Kyungsoo, Kai/Chen
Rating: R
Warning(s): [spoiler]
character death, mentions of sex, non-linear story-telling, general confusion, slight gunplay, some gore
Length: 4747w
Summary: “I didn't kill him," Chanyeol insisted, "Even after he killed me, I still didn't touch him."
Author's note: my dear recipient, i hope this fits somewhat along the lines of what you wanted- even if it did get a bit darker than I intended and ghosts over some points that i didn’t have time to elaborate on. of course, i’ll write for you anytime, so if this isn’t your cup of tea, hit me with another prompt! i love you you qt., i hope you enjoy!
Kyungsoo-yah,
It's been only a few days since I last wrote to you, but so much has happened since then. Where my earlier letters spoke only of my day to day life and my love for you, this letter is, how shall I put this?, darker than I can bear to admit. I won't say too much more, for I fear that if I should reveal everything that torments me on this paper alone, it would be sent straight to the devil.
Kyungsoo, you know I love you, don't you?
I've gained a new roommate. I can't convince my Uncle to remove him, but I'm sure this new student will slip up sooner or later. Then, my Uncle will force him from my room. With any luck, he'll force him from this school, but you know, Kyungsoo, that luck has never quite been on my side. I'm sure you think I'm just making this up, but this new student is really weird. He keeps an assortment of moldy books, dissection tools, and dissected animals in our room.
Formaldehyde smells horrible. I can't stand it.
I was removed from my history class again. That makes me at nearly forty percent of classes spent elsewhere. I just can't stand listening to someone who clearly doesn't know what he's saying talk. You understand, right? You're such a nice student though, Kyungsoo-yah. I can't wait to see you again.
Love, Chanyeol
It's perpetually rainy in London's countryside where the boarding school, Chanyeol's boarding school, is located, but that just means that the courtyards are empty of boys talking about the girls they had this past weekend (all lies, everyone could hear them enjoying themselves five-to-one in the showers). It means Chanyeol can sit outside in his T-shirt, absorb the rain, and enjoy the pitter-patter in silence.
That's how it used to be.
Now, there's a new boy. He goes by the name of Kai, even if his student ID card reads Jongin Kim. He's another South Korean attending this school. It's gained a name back in the "homeland," as Luhan jokingly calls it (which doesn't actually make sense seeing as Luhan is Chinese), because the headmaster is Korean.
He's also Chanyeol's uncle, which Chanyeol often interprets to mean he should receive special treatment even if he becomes angry whenever it’s offered to him. In this case though, he would like a change of roommate, or rather, a lack of roommate, and his uncle had refused to budge.
“He’s just as brilliant as you,” his uncle had assured him, “The two of you can bond over studying if you must. I need him in this school.” And that had been the end of the discussion. Chanyeol had stormed out, and now here he sits outside in the slight drizzle, the heat of his anger beginning to sizzle away when a voice calls out to him.
“Ah, Chanyeol,” Kai says, sitting down next to his roommate with grace that is both haunting and beautiful, “Fancy seeing you out here. Always figured someone as bright as you would hate the rain.” Chanyeol’s answering scowl is anything but bright.
“What do you want?” Chanyeol mutters, barely remembering to lilt his voice into a question, “I told you not to talk to me outside of asking if it’s ok to turn off the light.”
Kai laughs, and the sound is startlingly pleasant despite the darkness in his eyes, the way his face is always cold and calculating, the way his voice slides slick and smooth down Chanyeol’s spine, raising the hairs on the back of his neck.
“I want to be friends of course,” Kai answers, “You don’t understand just yet, but you and I have destiny that these simpletons won’t ever understand.” He tosses an arm over Chanyeol’s shoulders, and Chanyeol shoves him off immediately, moving to stand.
“I think I’d like to be one of those simpletons, thanks,” he snarls, “I don’t need to be apart of whatever fucked up ideas you’ve-”
“You can’t be one of them,” Kai cuts him off immediately. His gaze is so focused, so sincere, so petrifying, that Chanyeol can’t look away. “You’re already not one of them.” He puts a hand on his chest. “You’re one with me.” Chanyeol opens his mouth to say something, to tell his new roommate that he’s a fucked up piece of shit- but Kai is already standing and picking up his back. He pats Chanyeol’s shoulder condescendingly.
“You’ll understand soon,” he promises. And then he walks away, dark coat swishing being him. Chanyeol holds his breath until that freak of a new kid is out of sight and lets out a roar of frustration, kicking at the bench he’d been sitting on. He adjusts his tie angrily before snatching up his books and storming back inside.
you’ll understand...you will
“So I heard you got a little roommate now, eh?” Is the first thing out of Jongdae’s mouth when Chanyeol sits down to eat in the mess hall. He grunts.
“Luhan’s always sucked at keeping secrets,” he comments offhandedly, reaching for a piece of chicken. He hates English food, but since Korean cuisine is not a part of the menu, he’s forced to chew the dry, white meat.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Chanyoel,” the senior says with a quirk to the corner of his lips. He’s such a little shit. “I never said anything about it to them.” Baekhyun laughs from Chanyeol’s other side.
“Don’t let him fool you,” he crows, “He told us.” Chanyeol shakes his head.
“I already knew that.” And he punctuates his sentence with a punch to Luhan’s shoulder. The senior whines, complaining about these Koreans who don’t respect their hyungs, but Jongdae is already saying how much he loves the lack of “hyung” and “noona” in the English customs. The four of them get into a rowdy discussion, talking too loudly about the arcade in town.
“So you guys like games then?”
The four of them stop talking immediately, turning to face the source of the questions. Unfortunately and unsurprisingly, in Chanyeol’s opinion, Kai stands there, his hands shoved in his pockets. What is shocking, however, is Jongdae’s response to the situation.
“J-Jongin?” He asks, brows furrowed, “Why are you here?” Kai just smirks.
“Call me Kai, hyung,” he says in Korean.
“Wait, you two know each other?” Chanyeol accuses, pointing between the two of them. Jongdae is still staring uncertainly at Kai.
“Yeah,” he says, “we’re cousins.” His brow is furrowed, and for the first time since Chanyeol met him, Jongdae looks uncertain, his smile gone and shoulders bent in a little. It’s completely different from the usual cocksure way he waltzes around with Baekhyun.
“What I don’t understand,” Jongdae adds after a moment, “is why you’re here? Weren’t you studying in France?”
“I had to leave there,” Kai says, and Chanyeol feels a shiver run down his spine. “They didn’t have what I was searching for.” And though that’s an odd way of saying it, it’s not uncommon for someone to leave a school because he didn’t like the teaching or the offered classes weren’t something he wants to pursue. Chanyeol still feels uneasy.
“Oh,” Jongdae says, and even he seems a bit weirded out, “Why didn’t you tell me?” Kai plops down next to Jongdae, taking the continued conversation as invitation to join them at their table. He doesn’t seem bothered by the nearly imperceptible way Jongdae leans away from him. Kai just shrugs in answer, and everyone is silent for a while. Chanyeol glances over at Luhan, the most trusting of them all, and watches the way his mouth curves into a slight ‘o’, his eyes wide even as his eyebrows slant down. He can feel the uneasiness coming off of Luhan in waves, and it sets his senses on edge. Kai seems to notice too, and he flashes a smirk at Luhan. The Chinese boy responds with a scoff and a roll of his eyes, but Chanyeol is sure even Kai can see how out of sorts Luhan feels.
“So, Chanyeol,” Jongdae starts awkwardly, eyes still shifting repeatedly back to his cousin, “When is your next date with your little boyfriend?” Chanyeol’s ears immediately turn red even if he keeps his face impassive. He stabs another piece of chicken.
“You have a boyfriend?” Kai jumps in. Chanyeol snaps his head to look at his roommate, planning to tell him to fuck off- but he’s greeted with the sight of the other boy looking far too pleased. He freezes, shocked by the expression.
“What’s it to you?” Chanyeol asks. He feels Baekhyun next to him set a hand on his knee, a warning to stay calm and not cause trouble. Chanyeol is grateful for the gesture, but he still feels a protective instinct over his boyfriend rise up in his throat.
“Nothing,” Kai responds too quickly, “That’s just very nice. The witches would be pleased.” He says nothing else, looking down at his plate and digging into his meal. Chanyeol looks at his own half eaten food, his appetite suddenly gone. He needs to see Kyungsoo.
you’ll understand...you will
“Hello, Chanyeol,” a pleasant voice, slightly pitched and sweet even as if rings with authority greets him. Chanyeol looks up from staring at his hand-cuffed wrists to see a small man, his eyes sharp and thoughtful, enter the room.
“My name is Joonmyun Kim,” he says, setting a recorder and a notebook with a pen stuck in the spiral on the table. “I’m a detective of sorts, and I’m here to talk to you about what happened.” Chanyeol nods once before returning to staring at his hands.
Joonmyun sits down opposite of him at the table.
“I have permission to be here for an hour,” Joonmyun explains, talking as if Chanyeol were an active participant in the conversation. He starts the recorder and flips open his notebook, pen clicking. Chanyeol doesn’t move, he knows what Joonmyun wants to hear, but he just can’t give him that, not yet. He won’t understand.
“It’s fine if you don’t want to talk,” Joonmyun says, surprisingly Chanyeol. “It’s only going to hurt you in the long run.” But the permission to keep silent is too tempting, and it’s not until the hour is up that Chanyeol bothers to say anything at all.
“You’ll have to work hard to understand,” he warns. “But you will.” And then the guard comes in, telling Joonmyun his hour is up. The detective walks out slowly, continually turning back to look at Chanyeol’s expressionless face.
you’ll understand...you will
They don’t often have conversations, Chanyeol and Kai, but sometimes Kai talks at Chanyeol for a long time until he gets a reaction. Today, when he waltzes into their room, Chanyeol has no patience for the long winded way Kai will talk about whatever nonsense on witches or whatever. Of course, Kai starts with something completely unexpected, and Chanyeol is shocked into answering.
“So I met this boy today,” Kai starts.
“Oh yeah?” Chanyeol responds, throat creaking around the words. He swears he sees Kai start to smirk out of the corner of his eye.
“He’s really beautiful,” Kai starts in, walking with slow steps toward Chanyeol’s side of the room. Chanyeol, for all his efforts in ignoring his roommate, feels as if he’s being cornered by a panther. “Large eyes, black hair- Korean, you know.”
“Okay,” Chanyeol mutters, forcing out the answer. He scribbles down an answer for another math problem.
“A bit on the tiny side,” Kai adds, “His name is pretty- almost girlish.”
Chanyel grunts in acknowledgement, but his eyes are starting to flick towards Kai slowly, slowly advancing every other second.
“I think I’d like to fuck him,” Kai says, bypassing the name he’d been hinting at, but suddenly Chanyeol is piecing together Kai’s descriptions and realizing just who he’s talking about. “His mouth look amazing, but I’m sure you already know all about that-”
Chanyeol stands. Kai blinks, and his grin is slow and sardonic.
“He’d make the perfect soulmate, don’t you think?” He asks Chanyeol, “That Kyungsoo?”
Chanyeol slams Jongin back against the closed door of his room, his forearm pressed too hard against the boy's throat. Despite the lack of oxygen, Jongin's eyes are still dark, still dangerous. He smirks, and his top teeth indent on his full bottom lip.
Chanyeol's lips curl back, ready to snarl at the other boy
“Oh, I see,” Kai forces out, his hands shaking at he tries to hold himself back from grabbing at Chanyeol’s arm in desperation. “You want him to be your chosen.” Chanyeol does snarl this time.
“Don’t touch him,” he spits, “Don’t you dare.”
“His hair is so soft,” Kai says with his teeth gleaming in the low light. Chanyeol tries to tell himself that this, his temper, his rage, his attention, that’s what Kai wants and yet - he can’t stop himself. Chanyeol snaps.
He throws Kai down onto him bed, punching hard a few times, letting the anger build inside of him. He’s sick of listening to Kai tell him he has a destiny, of him saying he has a past to put to rest and a future to fulfill.
Like this, angry and irrational, Chanyeol fucks Jongin into the sheets with one hand closed over the other's cock in a strangle-hold and the other pressing against his neck, restricting his air supply. Kai loves it though, that's apparent to Chanyeol. This only makes him madder, and the next time Kai tries to talk him into making Kyungsoo his chosen, he fucks Kai and forces him to hold a gun in his own mouth, trembling fingers over the trigger.
“Choose yourself, you twisted fuck,” Chanyeol grunts, holding Kai up against the wall.
Kai calls out Chanyeol's name when he comes, smirking around the barrel of the gun.
Chanyeol says nothing, but he pictures Kyungsoo's face, twisted with pleasure and oh, so beautiful when he comes.
you’ll understand...you will
“I don’t understand,” Joonmyun says, setting down his notebook where he’d been tracing back through his notes on his discussion with Chanyeol.
“Of course you don’t,” Chanyeol scoffs, “It’s not intended for you to understand.” Joonmyun closes his eyes before he fixes his gaze on Chanyeol.
“Then explain it to me in a way that I can understand,” he requests. Chanyeol smirks, and something in the back of Joonmyun’s mind tells him that it is not Chanyoel’s smirk on Chanyeol’s face but rather someone else’s.
“The witches Kai kept talking about had this believe that once they found the one they wanted to be with forever, they should kill that lover and and take their heart,” he explains slowly, talking condescendingly as if speaking to a child, “If that heart is kept and buried with the person when she or he dies, then their souls will become tied together.”
Joonmyun feels sick. “That’s…” He manages. Chanyeol laughs lowly.
“There are two people who stopped two of these bonds from happening, out of jealousy or morality I’m not sure,” Chanyeol continues, “And you know who that was, according to Kai.” Joonmyun nods, refusing to show anymore confusion to this smug kid.
“Why did Kai kill them, Chanyeol?” Joonmyun demands, forcing his voice to remain light even as his grip on his pen tightens.
“For greatness,” Chanyeol answers simply. “It’s an honor, isn’t it? To carry on your family traditions?” And suddenly, Joonmyun doesn’t know if Chanyeol is saying it’s an honor for Jongin, or if it’s an honor for the boy himself.
you’ll understand...you will
It's nearly complete.
The note sits on Chanyeol's desk when he returns to his room that night, and he's back out the door with his coat hanging off of him haphazardly without another thought. He runs for the old house in the woods, the place Kai had consistently mentioned for the past few weeks in his urging Chanyeol to join him.
Chanyeol is gasping hard, his breath catching every few steps, but he won't stop running. He bursts through the front door.
"Kai!" He screams, voice echoing against the empty walls.
"So you've come," Kai's voice rings from the upper landing. Chanyeol's head snaps up, eyes fixing on Kai leaning seductive and suave on the upper railing. "I was beginning to wonder if you even would."
"What have you done, Kai?" Chanyeol demands, he makes to step onto the first step, half expecting Kai to stop him. The other boy just laughs, waving his hand in "come along" type gesture. Chanyeol just continues up the steps, hurrying after Kai who turns and walks towards the large bonus room hidden near the back of the old house. The door is ajar, the flickering of a light near the door indicating that this is where Kai has been, where it has become nearly complete.
"Kai!" Chanyeol shouts, halting Kai in his path to open the door. "I asked you what you've done." he holds out the paper that had been sitting on his desk. "What is nearly finished?"
“Revenge of course,” Kai says, tapping Chanyeol’s shoulder like they’re old pals, like Chanyeol’s being silly and forgetting some plan to get dinner that they made. Chanyeol can see the blood on his hands though, and he knows something as mundane as dinner is not hiding behind the door to the attic.
Chanyeol already feels as if he’s going to throw up, as if everything he’s ever thought about Kai is going to be proven true- he pushes open the attic door, following Kai inside and stops. Stares. Breathes. Chokes.
His mouth moves, ready to say something, anything, to break the silence, but what does he say when he’s standing in front of three mutliated bodies lining the walls. Their chests are torn open, blood running between the floorboards. Chanyeol remembers the drip, drip, drip of what he’d assumed was water upon entering the old farmhouse but now realizes is blood. Drip.
Drip.
Lining the floor are the intestines of two of the bodies, their entrails scattered around and torn to pieces. Both of their hearts are hanging in their chest cavity, swaying slightly from streamers made of muscle. The one in the middle, however, has his heart missing, the carefully extracted organ the only thing wrong with his corpse. The two around him have the skin of their backs torn up and pinned to wall in a crude representation of angel wings. Chanyeol heaves and throws up. He coughs and hacks and spits in vain to get the taste from his mouth, but still the acid sits heavy on his tongue.
It feels like a century before Chanyeol can lift his eyes to their faces.
“Baekhyun,” he breathes out, “Luhan-”
And the one in the middle, a white veil thrown over his face-
“Jongdae!” Chanyeol steps towards them, his friends, his dead friends, his murdered friends. His converse slip in the blood and he falls to the ground, hands sliding through the mess of intestines and blood.
“His heart is here,” Kai says pleasantly. He kneels down next to Chanyeol and shows him a large mason jar. “He’s my chosen.”
“He’s your cousin!” Chanyeol screeches. He scrambles to his feet, tasting the bile rising in his throat. Kai shakes his head.
“No,” he argues, “His body is not of interest to me- I want his heart. His spirit.” He lifts the jar for emphasis. “Of course, there’s another jar for you over there.” And Chanyeol just knows Kai isn’t talking about his heart.
“What are you saying?” He says, slowly. And Kai grabs his arm and turns him to face a wardrobe in the room.
“I kept him alive,” Kai explains brightly, moving towards the wardrobe. He grabs the latch. “I wouldn’t want you to miss your chance of reclaiming your chosen.” He opens the door.
Chanyeol screams.
Inside, bloodied, naked, ruined and still oh-so-beautiful is Kyungsoo. He’s on his knees, swaying back and forth from blood loss and lack of oxygen. A permanent marker line circles where his heart it, a guideline for Chanyeol to cut it out. Kai is suddenly next to Chanyeol, holding out a gun.
“Go ahead,” he says. Chanyeol shakes his head. Kai shakes the gun a little. “Come on.”
“I won’t kill him,” Chanyeol breathes harshly through his teeth.
“You have to!” Kai shouts, “It’s your destiny! We are the ones who will forever have our soulmates beside us, the ones who were betrayed centuries ago by our own people! And you foolishly made friends with them. At least I had the decency to take care of them for you! The least you could do it make Kyungsoo your chosen-!”
“I’m not going to kill him!” Chanyeol screams. There’s a moment of silence, of complete rage and horror held back by the echo of a man in love. Kai cracks his neck.
“Well then,” he says. He retracts the offered gun. He spins. “I will.” There’s a crack, and cry, and Kyungsoo’s body tumbles from the wardrobe. Chanyeol doesn’t move, he doesn’t breathe, he doesn’t think- he only stares, eyes filling to quickly with tears of anger and hurt and murderous need that he refuses to tap into.
“Soo?” He says quietly, one step towards his fallen boyfriend too loud in the attic of the old house. “Soo, please- please.” He doesn’t know why he’s begging; it’s too late. “Please open your eyes, it’ll be ok, really.” He drops to his knees and picks up Kyungsoo’s body, cradling it to his chest. “Please, baby, please, oh god, Kyungsoo- Kyungsoo!”
Mad cackling. Chanyeol snaps his head up, glaring strongly at Kai who is laughing, laughing, laughing, his hands clutched around a large mason jar filled with formaldehyde and Jongdae’s heart.
“O my god,” he laughs, “It’s just too funny! It’s too funny.” He lifts the gun to his own head. “He’s dead, you know. Nothing you scream at him, nothing you promise him is going to bring him back to life.” His mirth is more twisted the more he talks.
“You could take revenge though,” Kai offers. Chanyeol’s eyes widen. He gestures to the gun held to his own temple. “You could kill me.” And Chanyeol knows Kai wouldn’t stop him, not when he believes he will only sooner be tied to Jongdae if he does. But Chanyeol won’t kill; he can’t kill. He doesn’t expect Kai to walk to him, mason jar still clutched in his arm. He leans down next to Chanyeol and whispers in his ear.
“It’s been fun, of course,” he says, “But in the end, you really couldn’t believe that I would do something this extreme. In a fit of rage you killed me, and later-” He drops his voice low, sounding more like a thought whispered on the wind than the ramblings of a madman.
“Later you take Kyungsoo’s heart.” And then he pulls the trigger. Chanyeol sits alone in a pool of blood.
you’ll understand...you will
“Jongin Kim was young man a bit too smart for his own good,” Joonmyun announces to those attending the press conference. He’d already explained the events as they were told to him by Chanyeol and his own investigation, but a reporter had asked one more question before he was free to leave. What do you believe is the psychology in all of this? Joonmyun knows his answer isn’t satisfying, but he gives it his best shot. “He was also a creative individual, and for that reason he thought up a reality for himself where he was the descendant, alongside fellow student Chanyeol Park, of a group of witches who never managed their revenge. He also convinced himself that Chanyeol’s friends, the late Han Lu, Baekhyun Byun, and Jongdae Kim were the reincarnations of the one who murdered these witches. Strangely enough, he thought his own cousin was his lost paramour and yet still killed him. We know only a little bit of this whole story, but we do know that these witches had a ritual of sorts that Jongin Kim was trying to recreate.” Joonmyun clears his throat.
“These witches believed that if they could make love to the body of the one they had lost, and take their hearts with them to their own graves, they could tie themselves to the spirit of their lovers- that they could create a sort of soulmate bond. According to Chanyeol, he killed himself to create that bond.” Joonmyun has to resist the urge to roll his eyes because sometimes, talking through the crimes people have committed makes him realize just how stupid people really are.
“You’re asking me what the psychology is in all of this?” Joonmyun stares hard at the reporter. “This is proof that those of a similar caliber can outthink themselves, that there are delusions strong enough to break another person’s barrier of what is truth.” More hands shoot up into the air, but Joonmyun is already motioning for other members of the investigation to take his place.
“Thank you for your time,” he says. He walks off the stage, accomplished.
you’ll understand...you will
The train hisses to a stop at the station, and Chanyeol, breathing freely for the first time in weeks, steps on board. He feels light today, accomplished. He’s getting three months vacation before school starts again, and he’ll be a senior. He closes his eyes and sighs once in memory of his lost friends before he moves to haul his trunk onto the rack.
A friendly hand helps him put it up, and Chanyeol thanks the railway worker.
“It’s no problem,” the man says, accent thick and pleasant, “do you want me to put this up too?” He leans down for a carrying case about a cubic foot in size.
“No, don’t touch that!”Chanyeol says quickly. The man startles, straightening back up. He gives Chanyeol a bit of an odd look.
“Alright,” he says, shrugging, “You have a nice trip then.” Chanyeol thanks him and waits until the attendant has made his way into the next car. He leans down and grabs the case, settling it on his lap and breathing, simply breathing. Throughout the duration of the trip, Chanyeol’s grip on the case never loosens.
His heart beats a little too fast.
you’ll understand…you will
Joonmyun’s case file sits open on his desk. The story has been told and accurately reported, yet something feels off.
There’s a knock on the door.
“Your newspaper, detective.” Joonmyun motions for the intern to come in and thanks him for the paper. He sighs and is about to close the file on “Park, Chanyeol” when the headlines catch his eye.
LONDON - Late last night, a few young teenagers out for a stroll noticed a light on at the Wilson Cemetery located beside the London Academy for Young Minds where recently released murder suspect Chanyeol Park attends. The teenagers could not give any details as to who is was in the cemetary, but after calling the police, investigation revealed that the grave for London Academy’s recently deceased student Kyungsoo Do had been robbed. The body showed no signs of being tampered with upon first, but after investigating an extreme depression in the corpse’s chest, the body was revealed to be missing it’s heart.
No fingerprints have been found on the body, and there are no currently no known suspects. However, the London Academy for Young Minds has released a statement.
“This year has been hard for faculty and students alike,” Kim said. “In light of recent events, we will be instigating new rules on curfew and weekend activities.” Kim insists that he will not allow the school to close, but the Board of Directors does not have such optimistic ideas.
“A school that breeds minds too twisted to survive in an already twisted is not something that London needs,” Director Geoffrey Guderts told London News. “We are sincerely concerned for the safety of the students as well as the surrounding areas.”
Investigation into the school as well as the recent grave robbing will continue through the summer.
you understand...don’t you?
Title: would you mind if I hurt you? (understand that I need to)
Pairing(s): Chanyeol/Kai, Chanyeol/Kyungsoo, Kai/Chen
Rating: R
Warning(s): [spoiler]
character death, mentions of sex, non-linear story-telling, general confusion, slight gunplay, some gore
Length: 4747w
Summary: “I didn't kill him," Chanyeol insisted, "Even after he killed me, I still didn't touch him."
Author's note: my dear recipient, i hope this fits somewhat along the lines of what you wanted- even if it did get a bit darker than I intended and ghosts over some points that i didn’t have time to elaborate on. of course, i’ll write for you anytime, so if this isn’t your cup of tea, hit me with another prompt! i love you you qt., i hope you enjoy!
Kyungsoo-yah,
It's been only a few days since I last wrote to you, but so much has happened since then. Where my earlier letters spoke only of my day to day life and my love for you, this letter is, how shall I put this?, darker than I can bear to admit. I won't say too much more, for I fear that if I should reveal everything that torments me on this paper alone, it would be sent straight to the devil.
Kyungsoo, you know I love you, don't you?
I've gained a new roommate. I can't convince my Uncle to remove him, but I'm sure this new student will slip up sooner or later. Then, my Uncle will force him from my room. With any luck, he'll force him from this school, but you know, Kyungsoo, that luck has never quite been on my side. I'm sure you think I'm just making this up, but this new student is really weird. He keeps an assortment of moldy books, dissection tools, and dissected animals in our room.
Formaldehyde smells horrible. I can't stand it.
I was removed from my history class again. That makes me at nearly forty percent of classes spent elsewhere. I just can't stand listening to someone who clearly doesn't know what he's saying talk. You understand, right? You're such a nice student though, Kyungsoo-yah. I can't wait to see you again.
Love, Chanyeol
It's perpetually rainy in London's countryside where the boarding school, Chanyeol's boarding school, is located, but that just means that the courtyards are empty of boys talking about the girls they had this past weekend (all lies, everyone could hear them enjoying themselves five-to-one in the showers). It means Chanyeol can sit outside in his T-shirt, absorb the rain, and enjoy the pitter-patter in silence.
That's how it used to be.
Now, there's a new boy. He goes by the name of Kai, even if his student ID card reads Jongin Kim. He's another South Korean attending this school. It's gained a name back in the "homeland," as Luhan jokingly calls it (which doesn't actually make sense seeing as Luhan is Chinese), because the headmaster is Korean.
He's also Chanyeol's uncle, which Chanyeol often interprets to mean he should receive special treatment even if he becomes angry whenever it’s offered to him. In this case though, he would like a change of roommate, or rather, a lack of roommate, and his uncle had refused to budge.
“He’s just as brilliant as you,” his uncle had assured him, “The two of you can bond over studying if you must. I need him in this school.” And that had been the end of the discussion. Chanyeol had stormed out, and now here he sits outside in the slight drizzle, the heat of his anger beginning to sizzle away when a voice calls out to him.
“Ah, Chanyeol,” Kai says, sitting down next to his roommate with grace that is both haunting and beautiful, “Fancy seeing you out here. Always figured someone as bright as you would hate the rain.” Chanyeol’s answering scowl is anything but bright.
“What do you want?” Chanyeol mutters, barely remembering to lilt his voice into a question, “I told you not to talk to me outside of asking if it’s ok to turn off the light.”
Kai laughs, and the sound is startlingly pleasant despite the darkness in his eyes, the way his face is always cold and calculating, the way his voice slides slick and smooth down Chanyeol’s spine, raising the hairs on the back of his neck.
“I want to be friends of course,” Kai answers, “You don’t understand just yet, but you and I have destiny that these simpletons won’t ever understand.” He tosses an arm over Chanyeol’s shoulders, and Chanyeol shoves him off immediately, moving to stand.
“I think I’d like to be one of those simpletons, thanks,” he snarls, “I don’t need to be apart of whatever fucked up ideas you’ve-”
“You can’t be one of them,” Kai cuts him off immediately. His gaze is so focused, so sincere, so petrifying, that Chanyeol can’t look away. “You’re already not one of them.” He puts a hand on his chest. “You’re one with me.” Chanyeol opens his mouth to say something, to tell his new roommate that he’s a fucked up piece of shit- but Kai is already standing and picking up his back. He pats Chanyeol’s shoulder condescendingly.
“You’ll understand soon,” he promises. And then he walks away, dark coat swishing being him. Chanyeol holds his breath until that freak of a new kid is out of sight and lets out a roar of frustration, kicking at the bench he’d been sitting on. He adjusts his tie angrily before snatching up his books and storming back inside.
you’ll understand...you will
“So I heard you got a little roommate now, eh?” Is the first thing out of Jongdae’s mouth when Chanyeol sits down to eat in the mess hall. He grunts.
“Luhan’s always sucked at keeping secrets,” he comments offhandedly, reaching for a piece of chicken. He hates English food, but since Korean cuisine is not a part of the menu, he’s forced to chew the dry, white meat.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Chanyoel,” the senior says with a quirk to the corner of his lips. He’s such a little shit. “I never said anything about it to them.” Baekhyun laughs from Chanyeol’s other side.
“Don’t let him fool you,” he crows, “He told us.” Chanyeol shakes his head.
“I already knew that.” And he punctuates his sentence with a punch to Luhan’s shoulder. The senior whines, complaining about these Koreans who don’t respect their hyungs, but Jongdae is already saying how much he loves the lack of “hyung” and “noona” in the English customs. The four of them get into a rowdy discussion, talking too loudly about the arcade in town.
“So you guys like games then?”
The four of them stop talking immediately, turning to face the source of the questions. Unfortunately and unsurprisingly, in Chanyeol’s opinion, Kai stands there, his hands shoved in his pockets. What is shocking, however, is Jongdae’s response to the situation.
“J-Jongin?” He asks, brows furrowed, “Why are you here?” Kai just smirks.
“Call me Kai, hyung,” he says in Korean.
“Wait, you two know each other?” Chanyeol accuses, pointing between the two of them. Jongdae is still staring uncertainly at Kai.
“Yeah,” he says, “we’re cousins.” His brow is furrowed, and for the first time since Chanyeol met him, Jongdae looks uncertain, his smile gone and shoulders bent in a little. It’s completely different from the usual cocksure way he waltzes around with Baekhyun.
“What I don’t understand,” Jongdae adds after a moment, “is why you’re here? Weren’t you studying in France?”
“I had to leave there,” Kai says, and Chanyeol feels a shiver run down his spine. “They didn’t have what I was searching for.” And though that’s an odd way of saying it, it’s not uncommon for someone to leave a school because he didn’t like the teaching or the offered classes weren’t something he wants to pursue. Chanyeol still feels uneasy.
“Oh,” Jongdae says, and even he seems a bit weirded out, “Why didn’t you tell me?” Kai plops down next to Jongdae, taking the continued conversation as invitation to join them at their table. He doesn’t seem bothered by the nearly imperceptible way Jongdae leans away from him. Kai just shrugs in answer, and everyone is silent for a while. Chanyeol glances over at Luhan, the most trusting of them all, and watches the way his mouth curves into a slight ‘o’, his eyes wide even as his eyebrows slant down. He can feel the uneasiness coming off of Luhan in waves, and it sets his senses on edge. Kai seems to notice too, and he flashes a smirk at Luhan. The Chinese boy responds with a scoff and a roll of his eyes, but Chanyeol is sure even Kai can see how out of sorts Luhan feels.
“So, Chanyeol,” Jongdae starts awkwardly, eyes still shifting repeatedly back to his cousin, “When is your next date with your little boyfriend?” Chanyeol’s ears immediately turn red even if he keeps his face impassive. He stabs another piece of chicken.
“You have a boyfriend?” Kai jumps in. Chanyeol snaps his head to look at his roommate, planning to tell him to fuck off- but he’s greeted with the sight of the other boy looking far too pleased. He freezes, shocked by the expression.
“What’s it to you?” Chanyeol asks. He feels Baekhyun next to him set a hand on his knee, a warning to stay calm and not cause trouble. Chanyeol is grateful for the gesture, but he still feels a protective instinct over his boyfriend rise up in his throat.
“Nothing,” Kai responds too quickly, “That’s just very nice. The witches would be pleased.” He says nothing else, looking down at his plate and digging into his meal. Chanyeol looks at his own half eaten food, his appetite suddenly gone. He needs to see Kyungsoo.
you’ll understand...you will
“Hello, Chanyeol,” a pleasant voice, slightly pitched and sweet even as if rings with authority greets him. Chanyeol looks up from staring at his hand-cuffed wrists to see a small man, his eyes sharp and thoughtful, enter the room.
“My name is Joonmyun Kim,” he says, setting a recorder and a notebook with a pen stuck in the spiral on the table. “I’m a detective of sorts, and I’m here to talk to you about what happened.” Chanyeol nods once before returning to staring at his hands.
Joonmyun sits down opposite of him at the table.
“I have permission to be here for an hour,” Joonmyun explains, talking as if Chanyeol were an active participant in the conversation. He starts the recorder and flips open his notebook, pen clicking. Chanyeol doesn’t move, he knows what Joonmyun wants to hear, but he just can’t give him that, not yet. He won’t understand.
“It’s fine if you don’t want to talk,” Joonmyun says, surprisingly Chanyeol. “It’s only going to hurt you in the long run.” But the permission to keep silent is too tempting, and it’s not until the hour is up that Chanyeol bothers to say anything at all.
“You’ll have to work hard to understand,” he warns. “But you will.” And then the guard comes in, telling Joonmyun his hour is up. The detective walks out slowly, continually turning back to look at Chanyeol’s expressionless face.
you’ll understand...you will
They don’t often have conversations, Chanyeol and Kai, but sometimes Kai talks at Chanyeol for a long time until he gets a reaction. Today, when he waltzes into their room, Chanyeol has no patience for the long winded way Kai will talk about whatever nonsense on witches or whatever. Of course, Kai starts with something completely unexpected, and Chanyeol is shocked into answering.
“So I met this boy today,” Kai starts.
“Oh yeah?” Chanyeol responds, throat creaking around the words. He swears he sees Kai start to smirk out of the corner of his eye.
“He’s really beautiful,” Kai starts in, walking with slow steps toward Chanyeol’s side of the room. Chanyeol, for all his efforts in ignoring his roommate, feels as if he’s being cornered by a panther. “Large eyes, black hair- Korean, you know.”
“Okay,” Chanyeol mutters, forcing out the answer. He scribbles down an answer for another math problem.
“A bit on the tiny side,” Kai adds, “His name is pretty- almost girlish.”
Chanyel grunts in acknowledgement, but his eyes are starting to flick towards Kai slowly, slowly advancing every other second.
“I think I’d like to fuck him,” Kai says, bypassing the name he’d been hinting at, but suddenly Chanyeol is piecing together Kai’s descriptions and realizing just who he’s talking about. “His mouth look amazing, but I’m sure you already know all about that-”
Chanyeol stands. Kai blinks, and his grin is slow and sardonic.
“He’d make the perfect soulmate, don’t you think?” He asks Chanyeol, “That Kyungsoo?”
Chanyeol slams Jongin back against the closed door of his room, his forearm pressed too hard against the boy's throat. Despite the lack of oxygen, Jongin's eyes are still dark, still dangerous. He smirks, and his top teeth indent on his full bottom lip.
Chanyeol's lips curl back, ready to snarl at the other boy
“Oh, I see,” Kai forces out, his hands shaking at he tries to hold himself back from grabbing at Chanyeol’s arm in desperation. “You want him to be your chosen.” Chanyeol does snarl this time.
“Don’t touch him,” he spits, “Don’t you dare.”
“His hair is so soft,” Kai says with his teeth gleaming in the low light. Chanyeol tries to tell himself that this, his temper, his rage, his attention, that’s what Kai wants and yet - he can’t stop himself. Chanyeol snaps.
He throws Kai down onto him bed, punching hard a few times, letting the anger build inside of him. He’s sick of listening to Kai tell him he has a destiny, of him saying he has a past to put to rest and a future to fulfill.
Like this, angry and irrational, Chanyeol fucks Jongin into the sheets with one hand closed over the other's cock in a strangle-hold and the other pressing against his neck, restricting his air supply. Kai loves it though, that's apparent to Chanyeol. This only makes him madder, and the next time Kai tries to talk him into making Kyungsoo his chosen, he fucks Kai and forces him to hold a gun in his own mouth, trembling fingers over the trigger.
“Choose yourself, you twisted fuck,” Chanyeol grunts, holding Kai up against the wall.
Kai calls out Chanyeol's name when he comes, smirking around the barrel of the gun.
Chanyeol says nothing, but he pictures Kyungsoo's face, twisted with pleasure and oh, so beautiful when he comes.
you’ll understand...you will
“I don’t understand,” Joonmyun says, setting down his notebook where he’d been tracing back through his notes on his discussion with Chanyeol.
“Of course you don’t,” Chanyeol scoffs, “It’s not intended for you to understand.” Joonmyun closes his eyes before he fixes his gaze on Chanyeol.
“Then explain it to me in a way that I can understand,” he requests. Chanyeol smirks, and something in the back of Joonmyun’s mind tells him that it is not Chanyoel’s smirk on Chanyeol’s face but rather someone else’s.
“The witches Kai kept talking about had this believe that once they found the one they wanted to be with forever, they should kill that lover and and take their heart,” he explains slowly, talking condescendingly as if speaking to a child, “If that heart is kept and buried with the person when she or he dies, then their souls will become tied together.”
Joonmyun feels sick. “That’s…” He manages. Chanyeol laughs lowly.
“There are two people who stopped two of these bonds from happening, out of jealousy or morality I’m not sure,” Chanyeol continues, “And you know who that was, according to Kai.” Joonmyun nods, refusing to show anymore confusion to this smug kid.
“Why did Kai kill them, Chanyeol?” Joonmyun demands, forcing his voice to remain light even as his grip on his pen tightens.
“For greatness,” Chanyeol answers simply. “It’s an honor, isn’t it? To carry on your family traditions?” And suddenly, Joonmyun doesn’t know if Chanyeol is saying it’s an honor for Jongin, or if it’s an honor for the boy himself.
you’ll understand...you will
It's nearly complete.
The note sits on Chanyeol's desk when he returns to his room that night, and he's back out the door with his coat hanging off of him haphazardly without another thought. He runs for the old house in the woods, the place Kai had consistently mentioned for the past few weeks in his urging Chanyeol to join him.
Chanyeol is gasping hard, his breath catching every few steps, but he won't stop running. He bursts through the front door.
"Kai!" He screams, voice echoing against the empty walls.
"So you've come," Kai's voice rings from the upper landing. Chanyeol's head snaps up, eyes fixing on Kai leaning seductive and suave on the upper railing. "I was beginning to wonder if you even would."
"What have you done, Kai?" Chanyeol demands, he makes to step onto the first step, half expecting Kai to stop him. The other boy just laughs, waving his hand in "come along" type gesture. Chanyeol just continues up the steps, hurrying after Kai who turns and walks towards the large bonus room hidden near the back of the old house. The door is ajar, the flickering of a light near the door indicating that this is where Kai has been, where it has become nearly complete.
"Kai!" Chanyeol shouts, halting Kai in his path to open the door. "I asked you what you've done." he holds out the paper that had been sitting on his desk. "What is nearly finished?"
“Revenge of course,” Kai says, tapping Chanyeol’s shoulder like they’re old pals, like Chanyeol’s being silly and forgetting some plan to get dinner that they made. Chanyeol can see the blood on his hands though, and he knows something as mundane as dinner is not hiding behind the door to the attic.
Chanyeol already feels as if he’s going to throw up, as if everything he’s ever thought about Kai is going to be proven true- he pushes open the attic door, following Kai inside and stops. Stares. Breathes. Chokes.
His mouth moves, ready to say something, anything, to break the silence, but what does he say when he’s standing in front of three mutliated bodies lining the walls. Their chests are torn open, blood running between the floorboards. Chanyeol remembers the drip, drip, drip of what he’d assumed was water upon entering the old farmhouse but now realizes is blood. Drip.
Drip.
Lining the floor are the intestines of two of the bodies, their entrails scattered around and torn to pieces. Both of their hearts are hanging in their chest cavity, swaying slightly from streamers made of muscle. The one in the middle, however, has his heart missing, the carefully extracted organ the only thing wrong with his corpse. The two around him have the skin of their backs torn up and pinned to wall in a crude representation of angel wings. Chanyeol heaves and throws up. He coughs and hacks and spits in vain to get the taste from his mouth, but still the acid sits heavy on his tongue.
It feels like a century before Chanyeol can lift his eyes to their faces.
“Baekhyun,” he breathes out, “Luhan-”
And the one in the middle, a white veil thrown over his face-
“Jongdae!” Chanyeol steps towards them, his friends, his dead friends, his murdered friends. His converse slip in the blood and he falls to the ground, hands sliding through the mess of intestines and blood.
“His heart is here,” Kai says pleasantly. He kneels down next to Chanyeol and shows him a large mason jar. “He’s my chosen.”
“He’s your cousin!” Chanyeol screeches. He scrambles to his feet, tasting the bile rising in his throat. Kai shakes his head.
“No,” he argues, “His body is not of interest to me- I want his heart. His spirit.” He lifts the jar for emphasis. “Of course, there’s another jar for you over there.” And Chanyeol just knows Kai isn’t talking about his heart.
“What are you saying?” He says, slowly. And Kai grabs his arm and turns him to face a wardrobe in the room.
“I kept him alive,” Kai explains brightly, moving towards the wardrobe. He grabs the latch. “I wouldn’t want you to miss your chance of reclaiming your chosen.” He opens the door.
Chanyeol screams.
Inside, bloodied, naked, ruined and still oh-so-beautiful is Kyungsoo. He’s on his knees, swaying back and forth from blood loss and lack of oxygen. A permanent marker line circles where his heart it, a guideline for Chanyeol to cut it out. Kai is suddenly next to Chanyeol, holding out a gun.
“Go ahead,” he says. Chanyeol shakes his head. Kai shakes the gun a little. “Come on.”
“I won’t kill him,” Chanyeol breathes harshly through his teeth.
“You have to!” Kai shouts, “It’s your destiny! We are the ones who will forever have our soulmates beside us, the ones who were betrayed centuries ago by our own people! And you foolishly made friends with them. At least I had the decency to take care of them for you! The least you could do it make Kyungsoo your chosen-!”
“I’m not going to kill him!” Chanyeol screams. There’s a moment of silence, of complete rage and horror held back by the echo of a man in love. Kai cracks his neck.
“Well then,” he says. He retracts the offered gun. He spins. “I will.” There’s a crack, and cry, and Kyungsoo’s body tumbles from the wardrobe. Chanyeol doesn’t move, he doesn’t breathe, he doesn’t think- he only stares, eyes filling to quickly with tears of anger and hurt and murderous need that he refuses to tap into.
“Soo?” He says quietly, one step towards his fallen boyfriend too loud in the attic of the old house. “Soo, please- please.” He doesn’t know why he’s begging; it’s too late. “Please open your eyes, it’ll be ok, really.” He drops to his knees and picks up Kyungsoo’s body, cradling it to his chest. “Please, baby, please, oh god, Kyungsoo- Kyungsoo!”
Mad cackling. Chanyeol snaps his head up, glaring strongly at Kai who is laughing, laughing, laughing, his hands clutched around a large mason jar filled with formaldehyde and Jongdae’s heart.
“O my god,” he laughs, “It’s just too funny! It’s too funny.” He lifts the gun to his own head. “He’s dead, you know. Nothing you scream at him, nothing you promise him is going to bring him back to life.” His mirth is more twisted the more he talks.
“You could take revenge though,” Kai offers. Chanyeol’s eyes widen. He gestures to the gun held to his own temple. “You could kill me.” And Chanyeol knows Kai wouldn’t stop him, not when he believes he will only sooner be tied to Jongdae if he does. But Chanyeol won’t kill; he can’t kill. He doesn’t expect Kai to walk to him, mason jar still clutched in his arm. He leans down next to Chanyeol and whispers in his ear.
“It’s been fun, of course,” he says, “But in the end, you really couldn’t believe that I would do something this extreme. In a fit of rage you killed me, and later-” He drops his voice low, sounding more like a thought whispered on the wind than the ramblings of a madman.
“Later you take Kyungsoo’s heart.” And then he pulls the trigger. Chanyeol sits alone in a pool of blood.
you’ll understand...you will
“Jongin Kim was young man a bit too smart for his own good,” Joonmyun announces to those attending the press conference. He’d already explained the events as they were told to him by Chanyeol and his own investigation, but a reporter had asked one more question before he was free to leave. What do you believe is the psychology in all of this? Joonmyun knows his answer isn’t satisfying, but he gives it his best shot. “He was also a creative individual, and for that reason he thought up a reality for himself where he was the descendant, alongside fellow student Chanyeol Park, of a group of witches who never managed their revenge. He also convinced himself that Chanyeol’s friends, the late Han Lu, Baekhyun Byun, and Jongdae Kim were the reincarnations of the one who murdered these witches. Strangely enough, he thought his own cousin was his lost paramour and yet still killed him. We know only a little bit of this whole story, but we do know that these witches had a ritual of sorts that Jongin Kim was trying to recreate.” Joonmyun clears his throat.
“These witches believed that if they could make love to the body of the one they had lost, and take their hearts with them to their own graves, they could tie themselves to the spirit of their lovers- that they could create a sort of soulmate bond. According to Chanyeol, he killed himself to create that bond.” Joonmyun has to resist the urge to roll his eyes because sometimes, talking through the crimes people have committed makes him realize just how stupid people really are.
“You’re asking me what the psychology is in all of this?” Joonmyun stares hard at the reporter. “This is proof that those of a similar caliber can outthink themselves, that there are delusions strong enough to break another person’s barrier of what is truth.” More hands shoot up into the air, but Joonmyun is already motioning for other members of the investigation to take his place.
“Thank you for your time,” he says. He walks off the stage, accomplished.
you’ll understand...you will
The train hisses to a stop at the station, and Chanyeol, breathing freely for the first time in weeks, steps on board. He feels light today, accomplished. He’s getting three months vacation before school starts again, and he’ll be a senior. He closes his eyes and sighs once in memory of his lost friends before he moves to haul his trunk onto the rack.
A friendly hand helps him put it up, and Chanyeol thanks the railway worker.
“It’s no problem,” the man says, accent thick and pleasant, “do you want me to put this up too?” He leans down for a carrying case about a cubic foot in size.
“No, don’t touch that!”Chanyeol says quickly. The man startles, straightening back up. He gives Chanyeol a bit of an odd look.
“Alright,” he says, shrugging, “You have a nice trip then.” Chanyeol thanks him and waits until the attendant has made his way into the next car. He leans down and grabs the case, settling it on his lap and breathing, simply breathing. Throughout the duration of the trip, Chanyeol’s grip on the case never loosens.
His heart beats a little too fast.
you’ll understand…you will
Joonmyun’s case file sits open on his desk. The story has been told and accurately reported, yet something feels off.
There’s a knock on the door.
“Your newspaper, detective.” Joonmyun motions for the intern to come in and thanks him for the paper. He sighs and is about to close the file on “Park, Chanyeol” when the headlines catch his eye.
LONDON - Late last night, a few young teenagers out for a stroll noticed a light on at the Wilson Cemetery located beside the London Academy for Young Minds where recently released murder suspect Chanyeol Park attends. The teenagers could not give any details as to who is was in the cemetary, but after calling the police, investigation revealed that the grave for London Academy’s recently deceased student Kyungsoo Do had been robbed. The body showed no signs of being tampered with upon first, but after investigating an extreme depression in the corpse’s chest, the body was revealed to be missing it’s heart.
No fingerprints have been found on the body, and there are no currently no known suspects. However, the London Academy for Young Minds has released a statement.
“This year has been hard for faculty and students alike,” Kim said. “In light of recent events, we will be instigating new rules on curfew and weekend activities.” Kim insists that he will not allow the school to close, but the Board of Directors does not have such optimistic ideas.
“A school that breeds minds too twisted to survive in an already twisted is not something that London needs,” Director Geoffrey Guderts told London News. “We are sincerely concerned for the safety of the students as well as the surrounding areas.”
Investigation into the school as well as the recent grave robbing will continue through the summer.
you understand...don’t you?