Is This How You Remind Me? [1/2]
Title: Is This How You Remind Me?
Pairing: kris/lay
Genre: high school au, love!hate, romance, or something that i can't explain
Rating: PG-13
Length: 11k words
Summary: There is no subject of complexity adorning their interactions, it's actually plain simple: Yixing wakes up; everything is beautiful. Then he reminds of Wu Yifan's existence and his whole day is ruined.
A/N: Please leave before it's too late. I've written this in one go, I was angry and didn't think it through.
Jongdae seems to be out to ruin Yixing's day. Lips cutely curled upwards and eyebrows arched in attempt of being convincing. Yixing merely sighs.
"I'm not walking into that damn auditorium, Jongdae. Do you not know that the whole process of avoiding someone involves not going to places they will potentially be?"
Jongdae whines; it sounds barely pained. "Come on hyung, only for a minute. I just want to check on something."
Yixing knows what kind of something he wants to check on and he strongly disapproves of this.
"You just want to see Byun Baekhyun."
Yixing stops at his locker to grab his Chemistry book and prays so that Jongdae will keep walking, all the way down the hall to his locker, but his friend seems resolute on making a partner in crime out of him.
Yixing wouldn’t refuse being Jongdae's partner in crime if said role didn't involve staring at Wu Yifan's horrid face. Yixing replaces the books in his bag and closes the locker with a loud thud, facing Jongdae.
"Please hyung, just be there next to me?" he pleads. Yixing rolls his eyes. "Please hyung?"
Yixing knows he’ll regret this later.
"Fine," he hisses. "But if that jerk pulls something it will be your fault and I'm eating all of your lunch tomorrow."
The bright smile that spreads across Jongdae’s face would be enough to soothe Yixing’s heart in other circumstances. Not now, when he feels like a lamb to the slaughter; however, Yixing follows Jongdae towards the auditorium nonetheless, where the Drama Club has been rehearsing for their next play.
“What’s the rush anyway, aren’t you having History next period with him? Couldn’t you just, I don’t know, creep over the guy during class? Why do I have to be dragged along?” Yixing stuffs his pockets with his hands and impatiently blows his overgrown bangs away from his eyes. He makes a mental note to have Luhan trimming it later.
“I’ve heard this rumor; I just want to check…” Jongdae explains and he inspects his surroundings while walking as if his journey is somewhat an illegal act. Yixing narrows his eyes.
“What rumor?”
Jongdae sighs, scratching the back of his neck before speaking. “A senior said that Baekhyun’s been dating Wu Yifan. He says they’re always smiling around each other during rehearsals.”
Yixing squints at Jongdae and scratches the back of his neck. “Wu Yifan? Doesn’t Baekhyun know better? I thought he was a smart one.”
“I don’t know hyung, that’s why I want to see for myself,” Jongdae shrugs, a slightly dejected look on his face. Yixing feels bad.
“Yo bitches, where are you going?” Yixing feels the weight of Luhan’s arm around his shoulder before he listens to his voice, although he cannot decide if this is a good thing.
“Don’t call me that.” Jongdae retorts and promptly removes Luhan from himself. Yixing snorts.
“Chill man, I’m showing you love. This way you get some instead of whining over that prick Baekhyun.” Luhan is audacious enough to peck a kiss on Jongdae’s cheek before being shoved away. He laughs. “Where are you ladies going?”
“Are you unable of addressing people by their names?” Jongdae glares at him as he dodges a frantic professor carrying an absurdly large stack of papers. “I am Jongdae. Kim Jongdae. Call me by my name. It’s already hard enough that I’m stuck with you because of Yixing hyung.”
“Hey!” Yixing protests. “He’s not my fault!”
“Mommy, daddy, can you please stop fighting? I’ll get a trauma.” Luhan says mirthfully and Jongdae rolls his eyes.
“Don’t you have a class to attend to?”
Luhan yawns, “Nah, I’m on free period. So you guys get me for the time being,” he smiles, Jongdae cries. “Where are we going?”
“Auditorium. Jongdae wants to see if Byun Bunny is cheating on him.” Yixing says and earns himself a slap on the arm.
It’s only when they get to the auditorium that Yixing reminds to worry. His stomach clenches in unease and his heart misses a beat. There’s a tiny possibility that Wu Yifan will be busy with rehearsal to even notice him and Yixing clings to this chance and to Luhan (arms linked with his), who faces him with a knowing smile.
“Wu Yifan?” he asks and Yixing nods with a pout. Luhan smiles wider and rubs a caring hand over Yixing’s nape, sliding it up his scalp and into his hair. “Don’t worry; I won’t let him near you.” Yixing inhales as he feels Luhan’s hand entwining with his. Then he’s pulled into the auditorium.
It’s dark at first, but he can still see the stage, colorful strobe lights brightening the ones standing on it. Wu Yifan is easy to spot, tall figure leaning lazily against a fake tree almost as tall as himself, blonde hair pushed back by a blue headband. Yixing sighs and mentally curses at him. Bastard.
“There’s your nemesis,” Luhan whispers. “He looks good today.”
“Convenient remark, as usual.” Jongdae says and Yixing doesn’t even have to look to know he’s rolling his eyes. “There is Baekhyun.”
Yixing searches the stage and finds Baekhyun walking towards Wu Yifan. He hands the other something Yixing can’t identify.
“Did he seriously just gave Wu Yifan an apple?” Luhan questions. “That’s the ultimate love confession.”
“Luhan, shut up.” Yixing warns, peering over Jongdae to find his friend watching the scene with unwavering eyes.
“He’s right, tho.” Jongdae says faintly. “Why would he give Yifan an apple?”
“Perhaps he thinks Yifan is hungry?” Yixing tries, but his thought is cut by the whole auditorium lightening up, a sign that rehearsal is over. He looks around in reflex and turns to the stage, where the students greet each other and shout louds ‘You’ve worked hard!’.
“They’ll come up,” Luhan says. “If you don’t want Yifan to see you, then we should head back.”
“Yeah, let’s go,” Jongdae defeats and turns on his heels, darting out of the auditorium without a second glance.
-
There are many kinds of people in this world, but none of them succeeds so easily in pissing Yixing off like Wu Yifan does.
There is no subject of complexity adorning their interactions, it's actually plain simple: Yixing wakes up; everything is beautiful. Then he reminds of Wu Yifan's existence and his whole day is ruined. It's not only the unpleasant reminder but rather the actual subsistence and everything that involves his state of being. The worst part is perhaps the mutuality of the feeling. Wu Yifan hates Yixing too, and he’s certain to let it show.
There is a good reason as to why Yixing resumes to escaping a conflict with Yifan - he’s been there enough times to know it never ends well. Last time they saw each other on the hall a drinking fountain was damaged. Previous encounters ended with free trips to the infirmary and several hours of detention.
The library is the safest place in the whole school. Not that there aren’t other places where Yixing can go without the displeasure of bumping into Wu Yifan, the library is just the safest one, since Yifan seems to be allergic to books. Yixing would rather avoid Yifan than engage in another meaningless fight; he’s most likely to end up at the infirmary.
He can try as hard as he wants, but Yixing he can’t bring himself to remember when it became like this. They were never friends, but there was a time in which Yixing was able to look at Yifan without earning a black eye.
While the library is the safest place, gym class is completely endangering to his security. Yixing’s been trying to skip this class for the whole week, forging medical licenses and arguing with the nurse about his inexistent medical condition. Truth is Yixing likes gym but it’s always hard to avoid conflict during gym classes, especially when Yixing is flying solo - to his complete misfortune, none of his friends take gym on his ill-fated Fridays.
It starts in the locker room. Yixing is always careful enough to change away from the flocks and into the shower stalls, but sometimes it seems like Wu Yifan is hunting him down.
“Look at those chicken legs,” the voice sounds far, but Yixing knows it’s directed at him. He presses his eyes closed and inhales, trying to refrain his blood from boiling in foreboded anger.
A few shrieks are heard - Yifan’s associates - and Yixing decides to focus on tying his shoes. It can’t be that hard, his shoe laces are bright pink, flashy enough to latch his attention and stop him from spitting exasperated answers at Wu Yifan’s remarks on his legs and bony hips.
But it’s too loud.
“You should be careful, Zhang Yixing. Someone might kick it unintentionally. You’d end up in a hospital.”
Now his shoes are properly tied and there’s no excuse to keep his back turned to his classmates, he has to turn around and face his nemesis. With three deep breaths, Yixing turns around. It’s weird how his stomach senses the threat of Wu Yifan, strongly reacting to his presence. However, Yixing is not like a harmless fly; he could inflict the same sensation.
He takes a few steps forward, taking into Yifan’s smirk and his powerful countenance. Always so full of himself. Yixing hates it. “Why? Are you planning on doing it?”
Yifan chuckles, “I might be,” and he socks his hands into his pockets, chin tilting upwards in a clear sign of insult. Yixing feels insulted.
“Bring it on then.” With clenched teeth and hands closed in tight fists, Yixing follows the other students out of the locker room into the gymnasium. He closes his eyes, wanting to hit himself for saying such a stupid thing. He might as well throw himself out a bridge; it will be less painful than fighting Wu Yifan on gym class.
The teacher has chosen a football game. Of course he would choose a football game, of course. Because nothing puts Yixing's life more at risk than a football game, and Yifan knows it; he smiles creepily at Yixing during stretching moment, probably anticipating all the kicks and punches he'll be able to perform. Yixing swallows, allowing his stretching partner to bend him further and away from Yifan’s gaze. When the teacher separates them into teams, a once in a lifetime event occurs: Yixing is placed on the same team as Yifan.
They stare at each other in confusion, and Yixing is naively waiting for a truce call. Yifan only mouths ‘this changes nothing’. And the game starts.
Being at the same team changed nothing indeed. Yifan still pushes Yixing out of the way in his chase for the ball, he still kicks the ball too strong in a violent pass and, as crazy as it might sound, Yifan actually attempts to steal the ball while Yixing is running with it: a foot is thrown between Yixing’s legs and he falls hard on the floor. Before the teacher gets to them, Yifan crouches and presses a hand to Yixing’s head to pin him on the ground. He leans, and whispers:
“How was it?” then he is retreating and being scowled by the teacher, but it doesn’t make it any easier, or Yixing’s waist less painful.
Yixing actually considers asking the teacher to put him on the bench or even faking a serious injure so he’s sent to the infirmary, but thinking about the look of triumph in Wu Yifan’s face as he’s carried out of the gymnasium changes his mind. That’s not going to happen. Therefore, Yixing stands up, lifting a hand to his teacher to indicate he’s feeling ok. Yifan isn’t smiling anymore, but his eyes are aggressively burning holes on Yixing’s face. Yixing, on the other hand, inspects him attentively, studies every trace of his face until his eyebrows look crooked and funny. Yifan’s not that scary, he’s just a really tall guy with long arms and a dyed blonde hair. Yixing can take it.
When the game restarts, it flows peacefully. Natural steals, Yifan far away from him. It seems like their colleagues have understood none of them is going to be of good use in this game as they’re completely ignored. The ball rolls far from them, goals are scored without their help and Yixing should be pleased; if the ball doesn’t touch his feet then Yifan has no reason to knock him down.
Yixing is patiently walking towards his water bottle when he’s mercilessly pushed down by two hands on his back. He lands chest first and it seems like air has completely left his lungs. He tries to pull, to suck any amount of oxygen he can achieve, but nothing comes in. Rolling on his back, Yixing closes his eyes. When air begins to return, he opens his eyes to find an utterly ticked off gym teacher slapping Wu Yifan’s head. Yixing can hazily listen to their conversation.
“He was trying to leave the game!”
“And then you decided to help him? Stupid!” more slaps.
“I was trying to pull him back!”
Yixing closes his eyes again, inhales deeply and a few of his classmates come help him stand up. His back hurts terribly, but he can still move his legs. That’s more than enough.
It happens in slow motion. Yixing approaches Yifan rather calmly, but even before the other has a chance to glare at him, Yixing’s palm meets the front of his face. Yifan stumbles back and the teacher holds Yixing’s shoulder. He might be scolding, but Yixing can’t hear a single word, everything he can think about is how much he wants to kill Wu Yifan.
Then it turns into a mess, Yifan is held back, Yixing is held back, and in less than two minutes they’re sitting next to each other in the principal’s office.
The principal, a bald man with a weird scorpion tattoo on his head, stares from Yifan to Yixing with amusement evident in his eyes. It’s rumored that Principal Lee was a member of a known motorcyclists gang during his youth period, and that his tattoo is the symbol of said gang, the Purple Scorpions. To sum it up, the man is damn scary.
“So, you got into a fight during gym class.” Principal Lee says. Yixing peers at Yifan and the other has his head low. “Why?”
The answer comes in a mess of words by both Yixing and Yifan, each one trying to speak louder than the other does, to explain their version better than the other does. Yixing is just pissed that Yifan is even daring to put the blame on him, so he screams and pulls his own hair; he is the victim in this whole situation!
“HEY!” Principal Lee lifts his hands and they halt. “It doesn’t concern me who started or who gave the first kick!” he turns to Yixing, who lowers his eyes. “Mr. Zhang, you’re one of our most brilliant science students!” he turns to Yifan. “Mr. Wu, you’re doing great in drama club! Why is this necessary? Why do the two of you need to bicker around and harm each other? I can’t have you barging into my office every single week!”
“S-Sir,” Yifan speaks and Yixing lifts his eyes, watching him.
“Yes, Mr. Wu?”
“I insist that I was only trying to get him back to-”
“You pushed me, Yifan! How is that trying to-”
“You were about to leave the-”
“I was only-”
“ENOUGH!” Principal Lee’s voice surpasses theirs. “Ok, I mean it this time. If any of you ever touch the other again, you are expelled. I’ll expel the both of you,” he points to Yixing “If you hit him; I’ll expel both of you if he hits you. I don’t care if you’ll hate each other for all eternity. Just don’t harm one another anymore.”
-
When Yixing leaves his last class, Jongdae and Luhan are waiting for him.
“Yixing! What happened? We’ve heard about a fight during gym class, is that true?”
“Did you really end up in the principal’s office?”
Yixing sighs, “Bastard Yifan beat me up in field. Twice. I lost it.”
“Are you hurt?” Luhan is quick in checking Yixing for possible injuries. He shakes his head in response and the other looks at him, touching Yixing’s neck. It’s a good habit, he thinks. Luhan always soothes him by caressing his neck. Yixing is usually sensitive on his nape; when anyone else does it’s ticklish, but Luhan manages to do it so tenderly it’s even good.
He smiles, placing his hand on top of Luhan’s, “It’s fine ge.”
Luhan smiles back, a pretty smile, one of those that creates creases underneath his eyes and colors his cheeks a light shade of pink. “I’m glad you’re not hurt.”
Jongdae’s presence is remembered through his loud and inappropriate throat cleaning; Yixing stares at him in exasperation.
“Well,” he says. “I guess I’ll head home. Bye.”
Yixing sees the hint of a smile playing on Jongdae’s lips before he darts off.
Luhan removes his hand from Yixing’s neck only to slide it down his arm, fingers shyly touching Yixing’s as if they’re never gone down that path before. Yixing watches Luhan slowly entwine their fingers and brings his eyes up to the elder’s.
“Should we go?”
Yixing nods and smiles. Going home has just saved his whole day.
-
The thing about Luhan is that Yixing never knows what he truly wants. Sometimes there is a playful aura around him and when he puts his arm around Yixing’s shoulder, it feels natural and friendly. But every so often it’s unexpected and different. Something Yixing can’t identify. Like when he brushes a thumb on Yixing’s cheek, or when he caresses his hair. Sometimes when they hold hands as well. Yixing knows they’re friends, but these moments never fail in getting him confused. Would Luhan feel different about him?
He’s pushed away from his deviations when a little ball of paper lands softly on his desk. The sound is barely audible, but gets Yixing opening his eyes and checking on his history teacher obliviously sitting on his desk and still waiting for his students to finish the assignment. He looks at the ball, then looks around in attempt of finding out who’s the perpetrator. No one seems to be paying him attention, each of his classmates busy with the assignment or their own matters. Yixing then grabs the paper ball and opens it very carefully so it won’t make a sound. Inside there is, obviously, a note.
Stop smiling; your face gets even uglier.
Yixing frowns. There is no signature, no signs of who’s written it whatsoever. However, he knows the calligraphy. No one has such a bad handwriting other than Wu Yifan, and Yixing wonders why he would bother to send him a message, especially when it’s such a weak insult. Usually, Yifan is a little more creative. Yixing turns his head to look at him where he’s sitting behind him, and their eyes lock briefly. Yifan squints at him, a clear sign that he knows why Yixing is looking. So Yixing squints back before returning his head and scribbling a reply.
You should just stop looking at me instead.
He balls the paper and scrutinizes at the teacher. Still very much oblivious, so Yixing throws the ball to Yifan and returns to his position. It takes less than a minute for the paper ball to hit his arm and fall to the ground. Yixing has to be a lot careful while maneuvering out of his seat to catch the paper ball, but he succeeds.
It’s so ugly it bothers me. Can’t you leave the classroom?
Yixing silently snorts at Yifan’s audacity.
If you’re so troubled by it then leave yourself.
He makes sure to return the paper ball with a little more strength. It lands in his lap a few minutes later.
I drew you. Wanna see it?
There’s something fishy when Wu Yifan says he’s made a drawing of Yixing and he’s sure he’ll regret sending a positive answer. It wouldn’t be so regretful if the drawing wasn’t Yixing (with an oddly wrinkly face filled with warts) in a witch hat flying a broomstick. Witch Yixing has this wicked smile on his face and really weird eyebrows. The drawing is tremendously offending, but Yixing can’t help but notice Yifan is a pretty good artist.
He sighs and draws a pathetically designed crow flying above Witch Yixing, then quickly writes his thoughts on the art piece on the same paper.
I’ve added you to the drawing. How is it? Doesn’t it look like you? An ugly, black crow. Just like that horrid soul of yours. Yixing chuckles and returns the drawing, minding to keep an eye on Yifan to watch his reaction.
He has to bite back a laugh when Yifan’s abnormally thick eyebrows furrow in annoyance. He looks up to Yixing and huffs, scrawling his answer. When he throws the paper, Yixing catches it promptly.
At least I can fly. You’re just ugly and evil.
You’re wrong. I’m a witch, I can cast spells on you and sing songs about it, like that movie Hocus Pocus. How was that song? I put a spell on you! And now you’re mine! ♫
The reply takes a little longer to come as their teacher looks up from whatever he’s writing on his notepad. As soon as he resumes to his writing, Yixing turns around to see if Yifan is ever sending him something. The paper ball hits him square on the face. Yifan snorts (one of their classmates look at him in curiosity) and Yixing feels his face heating up.
I wouldn’t be yours even under spell.
I put a spell on you… And now you’re GONE! GONE! GONE! GONE! SO LONG! ♫
Yifan catches the paper ball when the bell to the end of a hard school day rings; the teacher mumbles something about an essay deadline but the students aren’t even listening in their haste to get out of this place as soon as possible. Yixing casts Yifan one last glance before slinging his backpack on his shoulders and walking out the classroom.
It’s been a week since the occurring in gym class, and he’s surprised to say things have been peacefully normal. In their own accord. Instead of punches and murderous kicks there are only cursing and brickbats as they can’t seem to be able to forget about each other’s inadequacies.
Yixing spots Luhan a few feet from the door to his classroom, leaning against a wall, cellphone in hands. He approaches carefully, spying on what his friend is typing.
“What are you doing?” he asks, hands curling around Luhan’s arm.
“I’m texting Minseok.” the other explains, eyes never leaving the screen.
Yixing falters at Minseok’s name. It unconsciously makes him stand a little farther from Luhan, hands withdrawing from his friend’s body.
“Minseok?”
“Yes. He’s not picking any of my calls,” concern is loud in Luhan’s voice, eyes washed with distress when he looks at Yixing. “Do you think something happened? Maybe he met someone in America?”
Yixing’s heart aches, but he smiles nonetheless. “Why would this be a reason for him not to answer your calls? He’s your friend.”
Luhan sighs dejectedly, ruffling his hair in impatience. Yixing blinks dimly, thinking that this is Minseok’s effect on Luhan. He completely loses his stability. Minseok isn’t Yixing’s friend, so all he knows about the boy is through Luhan, who never speaks other than marvelous things about him. Because Minseok is that much of a good soccer player and because he’s so smart he won an exchange trip to America for a whole month. It almost seems like Yixing knows him his entire life.
It wasn’t hard to notice how Luhan felt about Minseok, how he feels. Now, as he suddenly remembers it all, Yixing feels silly for ever wondering if his friend would look at him differently, specially.
“I’ll try to reach him later. Let’s go home.” Luhan nudges him with his elbow and steps away from the wall.
Yixing coughs, “Uh, I have a book to return to the library. And I think I’ll stay for Physics meeting. I’ll see you tomorrow ok, hyung?”
Luhan shrugs and waves, “Take care.” then he’s taking off.
Yixing sighs, adjusting the straps of his backpack as he watches Luhan disappear through the building exit amongst other students. He turns on his heels and walks the hallway to get to the library. He didn’t actually need to go there, just wanted an excuse to avoid the awkwardness of being around Luhan for a while. What he didn’t expect is to find Wu Yifan leaning against his locker.
Frowning, Yixing stops on his tracks and gazes at him.
“Can you not stand on my locker? Or I’ll need to disinfect it later.”
Yifan snorts, moving his eyes from Yixing and into some more interesting point behind him. “I’m not standing on your locker; I’m conveniently leaning on it.”
“Why conveniently?” Yixing feels annoyed, so he grabs Yifan’s arm and pulls him out of his space. The taller hisses.
“Don’t touch me. We’re not allowed to touch each other remember? There’s a risk of expulsion.”
He rolls his eyes. “Make yourself scarce so I don’t need to touch you.”
“I can stand here if I want; this is not your property. It’s school property.”
“I’ve signed a responsibility term on this shit, so this is my property. Now get the hell out of here.” the idea of Yifan lurking around is unacceptable. He needs to protect his locker’s honor.
Yifan lifts his hands and starts walking away. While he walks (backwards, it’s worth mentioning), his eyes are still trained on Yixing, so Yixing prays that he falls flat on his own butt. He doesn’t. Pity.
-
Arriving at school early means to get a good batch of cookies from the nice street vendor right outside the school building. Yixing really likes these cookies, so he manages to get up earlier and avoid his mother’s catastrophic breakfast in order to buy the first batch. The vendor, a sympathetic old man, gives him a good discount since Yixing is his most loyal customer. While he’s eating the cookies nothing gets on his nerves, not even Wu Yifan, arriving earlier because of his rehearsals and making stupid and useless comments about Yixing’s clothes.
Jongdae is a try hard too, almost knocking Yixing and his cookies down with that demonic skateboard of him.
“Oh, hyung, I’m sorry! I was just really excited and wanted to rush into you!” the younger explains, a blinding grin on his face. There’s something really cute about Jongdae’s smile, perhaps how his lips curl upwards when he’s too excited. Yixing is always pleased to see Jongdae smiling.
“You almost did it,” he says and stuffs his mouth with more cookies. Jongdae steps off his skateboard and grabs the thing from the ground, carrying it along as they walk into the school building. “What are you so excited about?”
Jongdae grimaces at the bits of cookie that flies from Yixing’s mouth as he speaks. “Ugh, hyung, eat first. Then talk. Anyway, what I wanted to tell you is that yesterday Baekhyun and I exchanged some e-mails. And it seems like he’s not dating Wu Yifan after all!”
Yixing takes Jongdae’s complaint in consideration and swallows. “Is this a good thing?”
“This is wonderful! That bastard Wu Yifan isn’t good enough for Baekhyun anyway. So, I told him I needed some literature tutoring, since he’s good and-”
Yixing frowns, “Literature? But you’re pretty good in it?”
Jongdae chuckles. “Ai hyung, he doesn’t need to know that. Just trying to create some opportunities here. You should do the same instead of drooling over Luhan.”
“What?”
“Nothing,” Jongdae coughs, checking on his watch. “Ah, I’m really late for my club meeting. See you later, hyung!” throwing his skateboard on the floor, Jongdae jumps on it and skates away.
A few minutes after he’s gone, Yixing thinks about the blunt suggestion. Creating opportunities. Would Luhan forget all about Minseok if he spends more time with Yixing? So much he wouldn’t even mind Minseok after he returns? Does Yixing really want Luhan to pay attention to him or he’s just feeling lonely? He sighs, adjusting the straps of his backpack as he gets to his locker. As soon as he unlocks it, a folded paper falls to the ground, to his surprise. He can’t remember keeping any folded papers in his locker, there are only books and notebooks in it.
Yixing crouches and rescues the paper from the ground; just by touching it he feels it’s a thicker paper, probably 140g, those they use in Arts class. He definitely didn’t keep any 140g folded papers in his locker, so it mustn’t belong to him. Perhaps someone misplaced it? When he unfolds the paper, Yixing gets a shock.
Staring right back at him, there is him. It’s really him, in thick and thin lines and well-drawn curves and a few shadows. It’s really him and it does look like him. In-paper Yixing smiles beautifully, dimple on the side and eyes small. He even doubts he looks like that when he smiles. Yixing gently touches the drawing and his fingers come smudged by pencil’s graphite, the shadows in the paper a little blotched too, but it doesn’t affect the beauty of the piece.
The person who’s drawn it is extremely talented. Yixing folds the paper and keeps it on his back pocket, closing his locker and walking to his first class. That’s when Luhan reaches him.
“Yo bitch, good morning.” he says ruffling Yixing’s hair.
“Hey, look at this,” Yixing says, taking the paper from his pocket and pushing it in Luhan’s hands. His friend unfolds it and gasps.
“Wow. This is really pretty. Who gave it to you?”
Yixing shrugs. “I have no idea, it was in my locker when I got here today. Do you know someone who can draw like this?”
“No. Do you?” Luhan looks at him and Yixing shakes his head. “With this ability this person is probably a member of Art Club. Do you want to check the list of their members out to see if you know someone?”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”
Luhan leads the way to the Art classroom. On the wall, right next to a big painting, is a list of this year’s Art Club members. They briefly look it through but no name rings a bell. Yixing sighs. Maybe it’s someone playing a prank, maybe the artist just thought his face was a good drawing model. Why would someone ever have a crush on him anyway?
When they reach the hallway, Yixing can see the students are already boarding Math class and soon the teacher will be there. He sighs; Math class is one of his favorites, but today he feels like lying his head on the desk and falling asleep. Luhan’s arm disentangles from his and Yixing looks up.
“I have gym now,” the other explains. “Will I see you later?”
They have Korean together, so Yixing nods and watches Luhan walking to his own classroom. He watches him until Luhan turns on a corridor.
“You’re pathetic,” a voice tainted with disgust says. Yixing frowns; searching for the owner next to him, but only finds when he speaks again, by the classroom door. “Your little crush is so obvious.”
Heat flares Yixing’s cheeks with a dim shade of red, ears burning in embarrassment. Did Wu Yifan see him fawning over Luhan? But that was so brief, did he have time to contemplate at all?
“What are you talking about?” Yixing walks past him and into the classroom, making sure their arms bump. Yifan follows him. Unfortunately, because of their names Yixing is stuck with Wu Yifan sitting near him, cannot even escape.
“I’m talking about how pitiful you are for Luhan,” Yifan sits on the desk next to Yixing. “You know he doesn’t even think about you that way, right?”
“What way, Wu Yifan?” Yixing closes his eyes and inhales. It’s a nightmare.
“The lovey dovey kind of way you think about him,” Yifan chuckles in mockery, the sound coming as trumpets from hell. “I don’t blame Luhan. Who would fall for someone like you? You’re weird and there’s a hole on your cheek.”
Yixing pouts and reaches for his cheek, fingers automatically ghosting over his dimple. “It’s not a hole,” he protests. “It’s a dimple and everyone says it’s cute.”
“Yeah, dream on.” the taller says, running both hands through his hair before opening his notebook and focusing on the teacher that has just entered the classroom. Yixing squints at him. Something’s been bugging him for a while, but now they’re on not-killing-each-other’s terms perhaps he can ask.
“Why do you hate me?”
The question has Yifan’s head turning back at him, his lips parting in scrutiny. Yifan blinks at him for a while and Yixing doubts if he’s even heard the question.
“You don’t know?” Yifan questions. “It’s because your ugly face gives me nightmares.”
Crossing his arms on the chest, Yixing gives up on Wu Yifan. They don’t talk to each other again for the rest of the class.
It’s a surprise that Park Chanyeol (one of Yifan’s valets) comes to intercept Yixing’s way to Lab class, placing his gangly body in front of Yixing to block his way out of the class. Yixing frowns, facing Chanyeol in confusion.
“What?” he hisses.
Chanyeol sighs and looks around, like he’s making sure there’s no one else in the classroom but them. Yixing is always the last one during Math, the students usually run out of class like lava is pursuing them; it’s frequently a chaos of people trying to reach the end of the hall, so he waits. Seems like Chanyeol’s chosen to wait too.
“You really don’t know why Yifan hates you?” Chanyeol asks and there is doubt in his eyes.
“Why should I know?”
“Everyone who’s been to kindergarten with us knows why.” Chanyeol explains like his answer is so obvious Yixing is retarded for not realizing.
Yes, he’s been to kindergarten alongside Park Chanyeol and Wu Yifan for his complete lack of fortune, but can’t recall if something major has happened during that period of his life that would make Wu Yifan claim eternal hate on him.
“What happened?” he asks.
“His mom brought a cake over for his birthday. We celebrated it after school hours and when it was time to cut the cake, he gave you the first slice. I can’t believe you don’t remember.” Chanyeol narrows his eyes at Yixing.
The thing is Yixing really can’t recall ever being in a birthday party for Wu Yifan, let alone being given the first slice. But why would Yifan give him the first slice? They weren’t that close, they’ve only played in the playground a few times.
“Then what, Chanyeol? He hates me because I ate the first slice?” Yixing huffs in impatience.
“No, genius. He gave you the slice and said you were his boyfriend. ‘Take the first slice; after you eat it, you’ll be my boyfriend’. Then you dropped the cake to the ground and ran away. That’s why he hates you.” Chanyeol eyes him from head to toe and walks off.
There’s a moment, in which Yixing’s mind turns completely blank. Maybe he’s trying to force his memory to remember this particular moment he’s forgotten, because apparently it’s so important to Wu Yifan that he cannot forget to this day. Why would Yixing do such a mean thing? In front of their classmates nonetheless?
Jongdae’s arrival on that damned skateboard cuts his line of thought, but as they walk to the bus stop, Yixing can’t help but think he deserves all the hate in the world.
{PART 2}
Pairing: kris/lay
Genre: high school au, love!hate, romance, or something that i can't explain
Rating: PG-13
Length: 11k words
Summary: There is no subject of complexity adorning their interactions, it's actually plain simple: Yixing wakes up; everything is beautiful. Then he reminds of Wu Yifan's existence and his whole day is ruined.
A/N: Please leave before it's too late. I've written this in one go, I was angry and didn't think it through.
Jongdae seems to be out to ruin Yixing's day. Lips cutely curled upwards and eyebrows arched in attempt of being convincing. Yixing merely sighs.
"I'm not walking into that damn auditorium, Jongdae. Do you not know that the whole process of avoiding someone involves not going to places they will potentially be?"
Jongdae whines; it sounds barely pained. "Come on hyung, only for a minute. I just want to check on something."
Yixing knows what kind of something he wants to check on and he strongly disapproves of this.
"You just want to see Byun Baekhyun."
Yixing stops at his locker to grab his Chemistry book and prays so that Jongdae will keep walking, all the way down the hall to his locker, but his friend seems resolute on making a partner in crime out of him.
Yixing wouldn’t refuse being Jongdae's partner in crime if said role didn't involve staring at Wu Yifan's horrid face. Yixing replaces the books in his bag and closes the locker with a loud thud, facing Jongdae.
"Please hyung, just be there next to me?" he pleads. Yixing rolls his eyes. "Please hyung?"
Yixing knows he’ll regret this later.
"Fine," he hisses. "But if that jerk pulls something it will be your fault and I'm eating all of your lunch tomorrow."
The bright smile that spreads across Jongdae’s face would be enough to soothe Yixing’s heart in other circumstances. Not now, when he feels like a lamb to the slaughter; however, Yixing follows Jongdae towards the auditorium nonetheless, where the Drama Club has been rehearsing for their next play.
“What’s the rush anyway, aren’t you having History next period with him? Couldn’t you just, I don’t know, creep over the guy during class? Why do I have to be dragged along?” Yixing stuffs his pockets with his hands and impatiently blows his overgrown bangs away from his eyes. He makes a mental note to have Luhan trimming it later.
“I’ve heard this rumor; I just want to check…” Jongdae explains and he inspects his surroundings while walking as if his journey is somewhat an illegal act. Yixing narrows his eyes.
“What rumor?”
Jongdae sighs, scratching the back of his neck before speaking. “A senior said that Baekhyun’s been dating Wu Yifan. He says they’re always smiling around each other during rehearsals.”
Yixing squints at Jongdae and scratches the back of his neck. “Wu Yifan? Doesn’t Baekhyun know better? I thought he was a smart one.”
“I don’t know hyung, that’s why I want to see for myself,” Jongdae shrugs, a slightly dejected look on his face. Yixing feels bad.
“Yo bitches, where are you going?” Yixing feels the weight of Luhan’s arm around his shoulder before he listens to his voice, although he cannot decide if this is a good thing.
“Don’t call me that.” Jongdae retorts and promptly removes Luhan from himself. Yixing snorts.
“Chill man, I’m showing you love. This way you get some instead of whining over that prick Baekhyun.” Luhan is audacious enough to peck a kiss on Jongdae’s cheek before being shoved away. He laughs. “Where are you ladies going?”
“Are you unable of addressing people by their names?” Jongdae glares at him as he dodges a frantic professor carrying an absurdly large stack of papers. “I am Jongdae. Kim Jongdae. Call me by my name. It’s already hard enough that I’m stuck with you because of Yixing hyung.”
“Hey!” Yixing protests. “He’s not my fault!”
“Mommy, daddy, can you please stop fighting? I’ll get a trauma.” Luhan says mirthfully and Jongdae rolls his eyes.
“Don’t you have a class to attend to?”
Luhan yawns, “Nah, I’m on free period. So you guys get me for the time being,” he smiles, Jongdae cries. “Where are we going?”
“Auditorium. Jongdae wants to see if Byun Bunny is cheating on him.” Yixing says and earns himself a slap on the arm.
It’s only when they get to the auditorium that Yixing reminds to worry. His stomach clenches in unease and his heart misses a beat. There’s a tiny possibility that Wu Yifan will be busy with rehearsal to even notice him and Yixing clings to this chance and to Luhan (arms linked with his), who faces him with a knowing smile.
“Wu Yifan?” he asks and Yixing nods with a pout. Luhan smiles wider and rubs a caring hand over Yixing’s nape, sliding it up his scalp and into his hair. “Don’t worry; I won’t let him near you.” Yixing inhales as he feels Luhan’s hand entwining with his. Then he’s pulled into the auditorium.
It’s dark at first, but he can still see the stage, colorful strobe lights brightening the ones standing on it. Wu Yifan is easy to spot, tall figure leaning lazily against a fake tree almost as tall as himself, blonde hair pushed back by a blue headband. Yixing sighs and mentally curses at him. Bastard.
“There’s your nemesis,” Luhan whispers. “He looks good today.”
“Convenient remark, as usual.” Jongdae says and Yixing doesn’t even have to look to know he’s rolling his eyes. “There is Baekhyun.”
Yixing searches the stage and finds Baekhyun walking towards Wu Yifan. He hands the other something Yixing can’t identify.
“Did he seriously just gave Wu Yifan an apple?” Luhan questions. “That’s the ultimate love confession.”
“Luhan, shut up.” Yixing warns, peering over Jongdae to find his friend watching the scene with unwavering eyes.
“He’s right, tho.” Jongdae says faintly. “Why would he give Yifan an apple?”
“Perhaps he thinks Yifan is hungry?” Yixing tries, but his thought is cut by the whole auditorium lightening up, a sign that rehearsal is over. He looks around in reflex and turns to the stage, where the students greet each other and shout louds ‘You’ve worked hard!’.
“They’ll come up,” Luhan says. “If you don’t want Yifan to see you, then we should head back.”
“Yeah, let’s go,” Jongdae defeats and turns on his heels, darting out of the auditorium without a second glance.
-
There are many kinds of people in this world, but none of them succeeds so easily in pissing Yixing off like Wu Yifan does.
There is no subject of complexity adorning their interactions, it's actually plain simple: Yixing wakes up; everything is beautiful. Then he reminds of Wu Yifan's existence and his whole day is ruined. It's not only the unpleasant reminder but rather the actual subsistence and everything that involves his state of being. The worst part is perhaps the mutuality of the feeling. Wu Yifan hates Yixing too, and he’s certain to let it show.
There is a good reason as to why Yixing resumes to escaping a conflict with Yifan - he’s been there enough times to know it never ends well. Last time they saw each other on the hall a drinking fountain was damaged. Previous encounters ended with free trips to the infirmary and several hours of detention.
The library is the safest place in the whole school. Not that there aren’t other places where Yixing can go without the displeasure of bumping into Wu Yifan, the library is just the safest one, since Yifan seems to be allergic to books. Yixing would rather avoid Yifan than engage in another meaningless fight; he’s most likely to end up at the infirmary.
He can try as hard as he wants, but Yixing he can’t bring himself to remember when it became like this. They were never friends, but there was a time in which Yixing was able to look at Yifan without earning a black eye.
While the library is the safest place, gym class is completely endangering to his security. Yixing’s been trying to skip this class for the whole week, forging medical licenses and arguing with the nurse about his inexistent medical condition. Truth is Yixing likes gym but it’s always hard to avoid conflict during gym classes, especially when Yixing is flying solo - to his complete misfortune, none of his friends take gym on his ill-fated Fridays.
It starts in the locker room. Yixing is always careful enough to change away from the flocks and into the shower stalls, but sometimes it seems like Wu Yifan is hunting him down.
“Look at those chicken legs,” the voice sounds far, but Yixing knows it’s directed at him. He presses his eyes closed and inhales, trying to refrain his blood from boiling in foreboded anger.
A few shrieks are heard - Yifan’s associates - and Yixing decides to focus on tying his shoes. It can’t be that hard, his shoe laces are bright pink, flashy enough to latch his attention and stop him from spitting exasperated answers at Wu Yifan’s remarks on his legs and bony hips.
But it’s too loud.
“You should be careful, Zhang Yixing. Someone might kick it unintentionally. You’d end up in a hospital.”
Now his shoes are properly tied and there’s no excuse to keep his back turned to his classmates, he has to turn around and face his nemesis. With three deep breaths, Yixing turns around. It’s weird how his stomach senses the threat of Wu Yifan, strongly reacting to his presence. However, Yixing is not like a harmless fly; he could inflict the same sensation.
He takes a few steps forward, taking into Yifan’s smirk and his powerful countenance. Always so full of himself. Yixing hates it. “Why? Are you planning on doing it?”
Yifan chuckles, “I might be,” and he socks his hands into his pockets, chin tilting upwards in a clear sign of insult. Yixing feels insulted.
“Bring it on then.” With clenched teeth and hands closed in tight fists, Yixing follows the other students out of the locker room into the gymnasium. He closes his eyes, wanting to hit himself for saying such a stupid thing. He might as well throw himself out a bridge; it will be less painful than fighting Wu Yifan on gym class.
The teacher has chosen a football game. Of course he would choose a football game, of course. Because nothing puts Yixing's life more at risk than a football game, and Yifan knows it; he smiles creepily at Yixing during stretching moment, probably anticipating all the kicks and punches he'll be able to perform. Yixing swallows, allowing his stretching partner to bend him further and away from Yifan’s gaze. When the teacher separates them into teams, a once in a lifetime event occurs: Yixing is placed on the same team as Yifan.
They stare at each other in confusion, and Yixing is naively waiting for a truce call. Yifan only mouths ‘this changes nothing’. And the game starts.
Being at the same team changed nothing indeed. Yifan still pushes Yixing out of the way in his chase for the ball, he still kicks the ball too strong in a violent pass and, as crazy as it might sound, Yifan actually attempts to steal the ball while Yixing is running with it: a foot is thrown between Yixing’s legs and he falls hard on the floor. Before the teacher gets to them, Yifan crouches and presses a hand to Yixing’s head to pin him on the ground. He leans, and whispers:
“How was it?” then he is retreating and being scowled by the teacher, but it doesn’t make it any easier, or Yixing’s waist less painful.
Yixing actually considers asking the teacher to put him on the bench or even faking a serious injure so he’s sent to the infirmary, but thinking about the look of triumph in Wu Yifan’s face as he’s carried out of the gymnasium changes his mind. That’s not going to happen. Therefore, Yixing stands up, lifting a hand to his teacher to indicate he’s feeling ok. Yifan isn’t smiling anymore, but his eyes are aggressively burning holes on Yixing’s face. Yixing, on the other hand, inspects him attentively, studies every trace of his face until his eyebrows look crooked and funny. Yifan’s not that scary, he’s just a really tall guy with long arms and a dyed blonde hair. Yixing can take it.
When the game restarts, it flows peacefully. Natural steals, Yifan far away from him. It seems like their colleagues have understood none of them is going to be of good use in this game as they’re completely ignored. The ball rolls far from them, goals are scored without their help and Yixing should be pleased; if the ball doesn’t touch his feet then Yifan has no reason to knock him down.
Yixing is patiently walking towards his water bottle when he’s mercilessly pushed down by two hands on his back. He lands chest first and it seems like air has completely left his lungs. He tries to pull, to suck any amount of oxygen he can achieve, but nothing comes in. Rolling on his back, Yixing closes his eyes. When air begins to return, he opens his eyes to find an utterly ticked off gym teacher slapping Wu Yifan’s head. Yixing can hazily listen to their conversation.
“He was trying to leave the game!”
“And then you decided to help him? Stupid!” more slaps.
“I was trying to pull him back!”
Yixing closes his eyes again, inhales deeply and a few of his classmates come help him stand up. His back hurts terribly, but he can still move his legs. That’s more than enough.
It happens in slow motion. Yixing approaches Yifan rather calmly, but even before the other has a chance to glare at him, Yixing’s palm meets the front of his face. Yifan stumbles back and the teacher holds Yixing’s shoulder. He might be scolding, but Yixing can’t hear a single word, everything he can think about is how much he wants to kill Wu Yifan.
Then it turns into a mess, Yifan is held back, Yixing is held back, and in less than two minutes they’re sitting next to each other in the principal’s office.
The principal, a bald man with a weird scorpion tattoo on his head, stares from Yifan to Yixing with amusement evident in his eyes. It’s rumored that Principal Lee was a member of a known motorcyclists gang during his youth period, and that his tattoo is the symbol of said gang, the Purple Scorpions. To sum it up, the man is damn scary.
“So, you got into a fight during gym class.” Principal Lee says. Yixing peers at Yifan and the other has his head low. “Why?”
The answer comes in a mess of words by both Yixing and Yifan, each one trying to speak louder than the other does, to explain their version better than the other does. Yixing is just pissed that Yifan is even daring to put the blame on him, so he screams and pulls his own hair; he is the victim in this whole situation!
“HEY!” Principal Lee lifts his hands and they halt. “It doesn’t concern me who started or who gave the first kick!” he turns to Yixing, who lowers his eyes. “Mr. Zhang, you’re one of our most brilliant science students!” he turns to Yifan. “Mr. Wu, you’re doing great in drama club! Why is this necessary? Why do the two of you need to bicker around and harm each other? I can’t have you barging into my office every single week!”
“S-Sir,” Yifan speaks and Yixing lifts his eyes, watching him.
“Yes, Mr. Wu?”
“I insist that I was only trying to get him back to-”
“You pushed me, Yifan! How is that trying to-”
“You were about to leave the-”
“I was only-”
“ENOUGH!” Principal Lee’s voice surpasses theirs. “Ok, I mean it this time. If any of you ever touch the other again, you are expelled. I’ll expel the both of you,” he points to Yixing “If you hit him; I’ll expel both of you if he hits you. I don’t care if you’ll hate each other for all eternity. Just don’t harm one another anymore.”
-
When Yixing leaves his last class, Jongdae and Luhan are waiting for him.
“Yixing! What happened? We’ve heard about a fight during gym class, is that true?”
“Did you really end up in the principal’s office?”
Yixing sighs, “Bastard Yifan beat me up in field. Twice. I lost it.”
“Are you hurt?” Luhan is quick in checking Yixing for possible injuries. He shakes his head in response and the other looks at him, touching Yixing’s neck. It’s a good habit, he thinks. Luhan always soothes him by caressing his neck. Yixing is usually sensitive on his nape; when anyone else does it’s ticklish, but Luhan manages to do it so tenderly it’s even good.
He smiles, placing his hand on top of Luhan’s, “It’s fine ge.”
Luhan smiles back, a pretty smile, one of those that creates creases underneath his eyes and colors his cheeks a light shade of pink. “I’m glad you’re not hurt.”
Jongdae’s presence is remembered through his loud and inappropriate throat cleaning; Yixing stares at him in exasperation.
“Well,” he says. “I guess I’ll head home. Bye.”
Yixing sees the hint of a smile playing on Jongdae’s lips before he darts off.
Luhan removes his hand from Yixing’s neck only to slide it down his arm, fingers shyly touching Yixing’s as if they’re never gone down that path before. Yixing watches Luhan slowly entwine their fingers and brings his eyes up to the elder’s.
“Should we go?”
Yixing nods and smiles. Going home has just saved his whole day.
-
The thing about Luhan is that Yixing never knows what he truly wants. Sometimes there is a playful aura around him and when he puts his arm around Yixing’s shoulder, it feels natural and friendly. But every so often it’s unexpected and different. Something Yixing can’t identify. Like when he brushes a thumb on Yixing’s cheek, or when he caresses his hair. Sometimes when they hold hands as well. Yixing knows they’re friends, but these moments never fail in getting him confused. Would Luhan feel different about him?
He’s pushed away from his deviations when a little ball of paper lands softly on his desk. The sound is barely audible, but gets Yixing opening his eyes and checking on his history teacher obliviously sitting on his desk and still waiting for his students to finish the assignment. He looks at the ball, then looks around in attempt of finding out who’s the perpetrator. No one seems to be paying him attention, each of his classmates busy with the assignment or their own matters. Yixing then grabs the paper ball and opens it very carefully so it won’t make a sound. Inside there is, obviously, a note.
Stop smiling; your face gets even uglier.
Yixing frowns. There is no signature, no signs of who’s written it whatsoever. However, he knows the calligraphy. No one has such a bad handwriting other than Wu Yifan, and Yixing wonders why he would bother to send him a message, especially when it’s such a weak insult. Usually, Yifan is a little more creative. Yixing turns his head to look at him where he’s sitting behind him, and their eyes lock briefly. Yifan squints at him, a clear sign that he knows why Yixing is looking. So Yixing squints back before returning his head and scribbling a reply.
You should just stop looking at me instead.
He balls the paper and scrutinizes at the teacher. Still very much oblivious, so Yixing throws the ball to Yifan and returns to his position. It takes less than a minute for the paper ball to hit his arm and fall to the ground. Yixing has to be a lot careful while maneuvering out of his seat to catch the paper ball, but he succeeds.
It’s so ugly it bothers me. Can’t you leave the classroom?
Yixing silently snorts at Yifan’s audacity.
If you’re so troubled by it then leave yourself.
He makes sure to return the paper ball with a little more strength. It lands in his lap a few minutes later.
I drew you. Wanna see it?
There’s something fishy when Wu Yifan says he’s made a drawing of Yixing and he’s sure he’ll regret sending a positive answer. It wouldn’t be so regretful if the drawing wasn’t Yixing (with an oddly wrinkly face filled with warts) in a witch hat flying a broomstick. Witch Yixing has this wicked smile on his face and really weird eyebrows. The drawing is tremendously offending, but Yixing can’t help but notice Yifan is a pretty good artist.
He sighs and draws a pathetically designed crow flying above Witch Yixing, then quickly writes his thoughts on the art piece on the same paper.
I’ve added you to the drawing. How is it? Doesn’t it look like you? An ugly, black crow. Just like that horrid soul of yours. Yixing chuckles and returns the drawing, minding to keep an eye on Yifan to watch his reaction.
He has to bite back a laugh when Yifan’s abnormally thick eyebrows furrow in annoyance. He looks up to Yixing and huffs, scrawling his answer. When he throws the paper, Yixing catches it promptly.
At least I can fly. You’re just ugly and evil.
You’re wrong. I’m a witch, I can cast spells on you and sing songs about it, like that movie Hocus Pocus. How was that song? I put a spell on you! And now you’re mine! ♫
The reply takes a little longer to come as their teacher looks up from whatever he’s writing on his notepad. As soon as he resumes to his writing, Yixing turns around to see if Yifan is ever sending him something. The paper ball hits him square on the face. Yifan snorts (one of their classmates look at him in curiosity) and Yixing feels his face heating up.
I wouldn’t be yours even under spell.
I put a spell on you… And now you’re GONE! GONE! GONE! GONE! SO LONG! ♫
Yifan catches the paper ball when the bell to the end of a hard school day rings; the teacher mumbles something about an essay deadline but the students aren’t even listening in their haste to get out of this place as soon as possible. Yixing casts Yifan one last glance before slinging his backpack on his shoulders and walking out the classroom.
It’s been a week since the occurring in gym class, and he’s surprised to say things have been peacefully normal. In their own accord. Instead of punches and murderous kicks there are only cursing and brickbats as they can’t seem to be able to forget about each other’s inadequacies.
Yixing spots Luhan a few feet from the door to his classroom, leaning against a wall, cellphone in hands. He approaches carefully, spying on what his friend is typing.
“What are you doing?” he asks, hands curling around Luhan’s arm.
“I’m texting Minseok.” the other explains, eyes never leaving the screen.
Yixing falters at Minseok’s name. It unconsciously makes him stand a little farther from Luhan, hands withdrawing from his friend’s body.
“Minseok?”
“Yes. He’s not picking any of my calls,” concern is loud in Luhan’s voice, eyes washed with distress when he looks at Yixing. “Do you think something happened? Maybe he met someone in America?”
Yixing’s heart aches, but he smiles nonetheless. “Why would this be a reason for him not to answer your calls? He’s your friend.”
Luhan sighs dejectedly, ruffling his hair in impatience. Yixing blinks dimly, thinking that this is Minseok’s effect on Luhan. He completely loses his stability. Minseok isn’t Yixing’s friend, so all he knows about the boy is through Luhan, who never speaks other than marvelous things about him. Because Minseok is that much of a good soccer player and because he’s so smart he won an exchange trip to America for a whole month. It almost seems like Yixing knows him his entire life.
It wasn’t hard to notice how Luhan felt about Minseok, how he feels. Now, as he suddenly remembers it all, Yixing feels silly for ever wondering if his friend would look at him differently, specially.
“I’ll try to reach him later. Let’s go home.” Luhan nudges him with his elbow and steps away from the wall.
Yixing coughs, “Uh, I have a book to return to the library. And I think I’ll stay for Physics meeting. I’ll see you tomorrow ok, hyung?”
Luhan shrugs and waves, “Take care.” then he’s taking off.
Yixing sighs, adjusting the straps of his backpack as he watches Luhan disappear through the building exit amongst other students. He turns on his heels and walks the hallway to get to the library. He didn’t actually need to go there, just wanted an excuse to avoid the awkwardness of being around Luhan for a while. What he didn’t expect is to find Wu Yifan leaning against his locker.
Frowning, Yixing stops on his tracks and gazes at him.
“Can you not stand on my locker? Or I’ll need to disinfect it later.”
Yifan snorts, moving his eyes from Yixing and into some more interesting point behind him. “I’m not standing on your locker; I’m conveniently leaning on it.”
“Why conveniently?” Yixing feels annoyed, so he grabs Yifan’s arm and pulls him out of his space. The taller hisses.
“Don’t touch me. We’re not allowed to touch each other remember? There’s a risk of expulsion.”
He rolls his eyes. “Make yourself scarce so I don’t need to touch you.”
“I can stand here if I want; this is not your property. It’s school property.”
“I’ve signed a responsibility term on this shit, so this is my property. Now get the hell out of here.” the idea of Yifan lurking around is unacceptable. He needs to protect his locker’s honor.
Yifan lifts his hands and starts walking away. While he walks (backwards, it’s worth mentioning), his eyes are still trained on Yixing, so Yixing prays that he falls flat on his own butt. He doesn’t. Pity.
-
Arriving at school early means to get a good batch of cookies from the nice street vendor right outside the school building. Yixing really likes these cookies, so he manages to get up earlier and avoid his mother’s catastrophic breakfast in order to buy the first batch. The vendor, a sympathetic old man, gives him a good discount since Yixing is his most loyal customer. While he’s eating the cookies nothing gets on his nerves, not even Wu Yifan, arriving earlier because of his rehearsals and making stupid and useless comments about Yixing’s clothes.
Jongdae is a try hard too, almost knocking Yixing and his cookies down with that demonic skateboard of him.
“Oh, hyung, I’m sorry! I was just really excited and wanted to rush into you!” the younger explains, a blinding grin on his face. There’s something really cute about Jongdae’s smile, perhaps how his lips curl upwards when he’s too excited. Yixing is always pleased to see Jongdae smiling.
“You almost did it,” he says and stuffs his mouth with more cookies. Jongdae steps off his skateboard and grabs the thing from the ground, carrying it along as they walk into the school building. “What are you so excited about?”
Jongdae grimaces at the bits of cookie that flies from Yixing’s mouth as he speaks. “Ugh, hyung, eat first. Then talk. Anyway, what I wanted to tell you is that yesterday Baekhyun and I exchanged some e-mails. And it seems like he’s not dating Wu Yifan after all!”
Yixing takes Jongdae’s complaint in consideration and swallows. “Is this a good thing?”
“This is wonderful! That bastard Wu Yifan isn’t good enough for Baekhyun anyway. So, I told him I needed some literature tutoring, since he’s good and-”
Yixing frowns, “Literature? But you’re pretty good in it?”
Jongdae chuckles. “Ai hyung, he doesn’t need to know that. Just trying to create some opportunities here. You should do the same instead of drooling over Luhan.”
“What?”
“Nothing,” Jongdae coughs, checking on his watch. “Ah, I’m really late for my club meeting. See you later, hyung!” throwing his skateboard on the floor, Jongdae jumps on it and skates away.
A few minutes after he’s gone, Yixing thinks about the blunt suggestion. Creating opportunities. Would Luhan forget all about Minseok if he spends more time with Yixing? So much he wouldn’t even mind Minseok after he returns? Does Yixing really want Luhan to pay attention to him or he’s just feeling lonely? He sighs, adjusting the straps of his backpack as he gets to his locker. As soon as he unlocks it, a folded paper falls to the ground, to his surprise. He can’t remember keeping any folded papers in his locker, there are only books and notebooks in it.
Yixing crouches and rescues the paper from the ground; just by touching it he feels it’s a thicker paper, probably 140g, those they use in Arts class. He definitely didn’t keep any 140g folded papers in his locker, so it mustn’t belong to him. Perhaps someone misplaced it? When he unfolds the paper, Yixing gets a shock.
Staring right back at him, there is him. It’s really him, in thick and thin lines and well-drawn curves and a few shadows. It’s really him and it does look like him. In-paper Yixing smiles beautifully, dimple on the side and eyes small. He even doubts he looks like that when he smiles. Yixing gently touches the drawing and his fingers come smudged by pencil’s graphite, the shadows in the paper a little blotched too, but it doesn’t affect the beauty of the piece.
The person who’s drawn it is extremely talented. Yixing folds the paper and keeps it on his back pocket, closing his locker and walking to his first class. That’s when Luhan reaches him.
“Yo bitch, good morning.” he says ruffling Yixing’s hair.
“Hey, look at this,” Yixing says, taking the paper from his pocket and pushing it in Luhan’s hands. His friend unfolds it and gasps.
“Wow. This is really pretty. Who gave it to you?”
Yixing shrugs. “I have no idea, it was in my locker when I got here today. Do you know someone who can draw like this?”
“No. Do you?” Luhan looks at him and Yixing shakes his head. “With this ability this person is probably a member of Art Club. Do you want to check the list of their members out to see if you know someone?”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”
Luhan leads the way to the Art classroom. On the wall, right next to a big painting, is a list of this year’s Art Club members. They briefly look it through but no name rings a bell. Yixing sighs. Maybe it’s someone playing a prank, maybe the artist just thought his face was a good drawing model. Why would someone ever have a crush on him anyway?
When they reach the hallway, Yixing can see the students are already boarding Math class and soon the teacher will be there. He sighs; Math class is one of his favorites, but today he feels like lying his head on the desk and falling asleep. Luhan’s arm disentangles from his and Yixing looks up.
“I have gym now,” the other explains. “Will I see you later?”
They have Korean together, so Yixing nods and watches Luhan walking to his own classroom. He watches him until Luhan turns on a corridor.
“You’re pathetic,” a voice tainted with disgust says. Yixing frowns; searching for the owner next to him, but only finds when he speaks again, by the classroom door. “Your little crush is so obvious.”
Heat flares Yixing’s cheeks with a dim shade of red, ears burning in embarrassment. Did Wu Yifan see him fawning over Luhan? But that was so brief, did he have time to contemplate at all?
“What are you talking about?” Yixing walks past him and into the classroom, making sure their arms bump. Yifan follows him. Unfortunately, because of their names Yixing is stuck with Wu Yifan sitting near him, cannot even escape.
“I’m talking about how pitiful you are for Luhan,” Yifan sits on the desk next to Yixing. “You know he doesn’t even think about you that way, right?”
“What way, Wu Yifan?” Yixing closes his eyes and inhales. It’s a nightmare.
“The lovey dovey kind of way you think about him,” Yifan chuckles in mockery, the sound coming as trumpets from hell. “I don’t blame Luhan. Who would fall for someone like you? You’re weird and there’s a hole on your cheek.”
Yixing pouts and reaches for his cheek, fingers automatically ghosting over his dimple. “It’s not a hole,” he protests. “It’s a dimple and everyone says it’s cute.”
“Yeah, dream on.” the taller says, running both hands through his hair before opening his notebook and focusing on the teacher that has just entered the classroom. Yixing squints at him. Something’s been bugging him for a while, but now they’re on not-killing-each-other’s terms perhaps he can ask.
“Why do you hate me?”
The question has Yifan’s head turning back at him, his lips parting in scrutiny. Yifan blinks at him for a while and Yixing doubts if he’s even heard the question.
“You don’t know?” Yifan questions. “It’s because your ugly face gives me nightmares.”
Crossing his arms on the chest, Yixing gives up on Wu Yifan. They don’t talk to each other again for the rest of the class.
It’s a surprise that Park Chanyeol (one of Yifan’s valets) comes to intercept Yixing’s way to Lab class, placing his gangly body in front of Yixing to block his way out of the class. Yixing frowns, facing Chanyeol in confusion.
“What?” he hisses.
Chanyeol sighs and looks around, like he’s making sure there’s no one else in the classroom but them. Yixing is always the last one during Math, the students usually run out of class like lava is pursuing them; it’s frequently a chaos of people trying to reach the end of the hall, so he waits. Seems like Chanyeol’s chosen to wait too.
“You really don’t know why Yifan hates you?” Chanyeol asks and there is doubt in his eyes.
“Why should I know?”
“Everyone who’s been to kindergarten with us knows why.” Chanyeol explains like his answer is so obvious Yixing is retarded for not realizing.
Yes, he’s been to kindergarten alongside Park Chanyeol and Wu Yifan for his complete lack of fortune, but can’t recall if something major has happened during that period of his life that would make Wu Yifan claim eternal hate on him.
“What happened?” he asks.
“His mom brought a cake over for his birthday. We celebrated it after school hours and when it was time to cut the cake, he gave you the first slice. I can’t believe you don’t remember.” Chanyeol narrows his eyes at Yixing.
The thing is Yixing really can’t recall ever being in a birthday party for Wu Yifan, let alone being given the first slice. But why would Yifan give him the first slice? They weren’t that close, they’ve only played in the playground a few times.
“Then what, Chanyeol? He hates me because I ate the first slice?” Yixing huffs in impatience.
“No, genius. He gave you the slice and said you were his boyfriend. ‘Take the first slice; after you eat it, you’ll be my boyfriend’. Then you dropped the cake to the ground and ran away. That’s why he hates you.” Chanyeol eyes him from head to toe and walks off.
There’s a moment, in which Yixing’s mind turns completely blank. Maybe he’s trying to force his memory to remember this particular moment he’s forgotten, because apparently it’s so important to Wu Yifan that he cannot forget to this day. Why would Yixing do such a mean thing? In front of their classmates nonetheless?
Jongdae’s arrival on that damned skateboard cuts his line of thought, but as they walk to the bus stop, Yixing can’t help but think he deserves all the hate in the world.
{PART 2}