But then again my future ain't what it used to be
Here I sit, bored outta my mind in the house of people I barely know in a town that I really...don't like. It's one of those creepy development places. You know the type. Cookie cutter houses around ever corner, no front yard, no back yard, and no real privacy. But hey, it's not my house to be happy with right? Just helping out a sister.
I just got done watching a movie series...yes an entire 3 movie series that's how bored I am. Makes me think of what life would have been like if I were born when I personally think I should have been. I know God has a reason for me being around here and now, but seriously...I just don't think this is the best time for me. Whatever. Anyways. It was about this Christian family that settles in the midwest. Yep, back in the day of cowboys and Indians. Not one person on this planet that knows me can honestly say that I wouldn't have fit in perfectly there. Well except for those stupid dresses and bonnet thingers. Life was so much slower, better, more pure. The main character mentioned something to the effect that the only man she will ever kiss is the one she will marry. What happened to those ideas? Seems that, save for a few of us old fashion hopeless romantic hicks those ideas have died. Right along with fidelity, morality, dreams, aspirations, hope, and faith. It's a sad world we live in, but watching movies with men of honor, that really do love and cherish their wives and WORK (as in with their hands) to literally build a life for their family.
There was children in the movie. Something God is working on my is the acceptance of my role as wife (if I ever get there) and mother. Hard to imagine me raising kids, but if it's what I am meant to do then so be it. I was born in this time, in this place for a reason. Perhaps it is to teach the children of many how to take care of themselves physically. But maybe it's for me to stay home and raise my own children to be God loving saints and servants. I pray the day will come when I can fill the role of wife, and perhaps mother. I fear greatly that day will never come.