EXO-M: Google Translated
Title: EXO-M: Google Translated
Pairing: OT12
Genre: crack
Rating: PG-13
Length: ~1K words
Summary: Improper use of Google Translate complicates things for EXO.
AN: Inspired by this video "Fresh Prince: Google Translated", which I found hilarious because I use Google Translate fairly often between reading and writing. Fic was inevitable. X]
What Minseok likes best about the Chinese language is that each of the intricate characters have several meanings attached to them. It makes studying them much more appealing because he can use poems and funny sayings in Chinese to help him memorize characters.
Out of all the Korean members, Minseok and Jongdae naturally work the hardest at studying Chinese because of the group divisions, but it’s Luhan’s influence that makes Minseok pull extra hours alone at his desk. He watches mainland dramas, repeating the words under his breath and writing and rewriting specific characters until they feel engraved on the inside of his skull. He uses Google Translate enough that it’s one the main bookmarks on his bookmarks bar.
One day when he’s playing around with the translator, he gets curious about his band mates’ names and swiftly types a random one into the translation box. In his haste, he forgets that the Korean versions of his members’ names probably won’t translate to the same Chinese characters that actually make up their names. Translating from Korean to Chinese and back again gives interesting results.
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The Chinese characters for Yixing’s full name after he translates from Korean, translated back into Korean say Zhang Ah Note (장아주목).
This can’t be right, Minseok thinks. What kind of parent would name their child Note?
Leaving out the last name because sometimes Google Translate is touchy like that, Minseok just types in Yixing’s first name (이싱), which results in different Chinese characters to Minseok’s satisfaction. Translation back into Korean fades the smile on his face.
The translator reads: interval (간격). Minseok is now properly confused.
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“I don’t see a problem. That sort of matches Yixing-ge, doesn’t it?” Jongdae says, still looking annoyed that Minseok had interrupted his television show for his translation puzzle. He unpauses the tv.
“Maybe it means something like him having a gap in his head, you know, like when he takes forever to answer a question,” Jongdae says vaguely, distracted by the abundance of bare legs and hip thrusts of the girl group performing.
“But he was probably named as a baby,” Minseok protests.
A shrug. “Maybe 4D is hereditary.”
“What’s hereditary?” asks Sehun as he wanders into the living room from the kitchen with a bag of chips in hand. Everyone’s on strict dieting restrictions but Sehun always insists he’s a growing boy and if anyone needs more nutrients it’s him.
“You shouldn’t be eating those so late. You’ll bloat up in the morning,” Minseok admonishes in Suho’s stead. In a typical Sehun response, the maknae shrugs and pats Minseok’s hair like he’s the oldest and Minseok is the youngest. This is exactly why Minseok doesn’t bother exerting his authority (or lack thereof) in the group.
“What’s hereditary?” Sehun repeats.
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A well-known fact in their group is that once Sehun knows something, everyone knows it. Perhaps it’s because he feels he needs the attention, being the youngest and (in his opinion) generally unremarkable. This attitude has led to several hushed incidents of Suho having to physically restrain the maknae from getting scandalous tattoos or piercings, and if (when) that failed, Suho would bribe him down with extra privileges like midnight snack immunity or concessions like rainbow-colored hair.
Minseok forgets all about the maknae’s habit until the morning after they finish the translations together, Jongdae listening in despite his alleged disinterest. They’re lining up for the photo shoot in no particular order when Jongin deliberately shoves Luhan aside so that he can squeeze in between the older member and Kyungsoo.
The astonished Luhan just barely saves himself from falling flat on his face with Zitao’s aid, the wushu expert glaring down the Kaisoo duo as he helps his hyung steady himself. There’s a cough from further up the line and a scolding, “Jongin!” from Suho that makes Kyungsoo blush and hide behind Jongin’s taller form. The dancer himself looks unrepentant.
“You’re holding up the line,” Jongin says boredly.
Zitao’s angry Chinese mutters fill the air. A few members down, Minseok slaps a hand over his face.
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The Chinese characters for Luhan (루한) translated back to Korean spell out sensuality (관능).
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Filming is delayed one day because a car accident on one of Seoul’s major streets is holding up traffic all around the film site. The traffic is bad enough that there are “no way” and “road blocked” signs put up at a few leading side streets.
Zitao doesn’t understand why Chanyeol suggests Zitao should go out and act as a human roadblock, nor does he understand why Jongdae and Baekhyun immediately start giggling in response. Suho hides a reluctant smile behind his hand even as he tells Chanyeol to stop fooling around and get his makeup finished.
Koreans are so weird, Zitao thinks meanly, but this is mostly because he doesn’t like being left out of the loop.
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Zitao’s name translates to “No Road” (도로 없습니다).
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Yixing doesn’t often get a chance to talk to Kyungsoo, but when he gets partnered with him for an inter-group bonding photo shoot he’s surprised that Kyungsoo is the first to initiate conversation. Despite seeming so shy and quiet the short vocalist can be surprisingly chatty. Yixing blooms under the attention and offers as many details about his family as he can, because this is the first time since coming to Korea that anyone has shown an honest interest in his family background.
“Thanks,” Kyungsoo says when they’re done and heading back to the waiting room. “My favorite subject is biology so I was wondering about genetics and whether or not it would be possible to isolate the gene. You never know when someone might want what your family has, right?”
“...Huh?”
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Wufan’s name (이판) translated to Chinese characters translated back to Korean is actually an English word in hangul: polio (폴이오). For the next few months, everyone except for the China-line avoids Wufan like the plague.
Dismayed, Wufan wonders if his cold guy act is getting too intense and starts glomping random people to compensate. Though he makes the mistake of back-hugging Chanyeol, who gives a girlish scream when he realizes who’s behind him. With a shrill battle cry, Baekhyun low-tackles Wufan across the knees and takes him down like a tree.