I need to write something
I'm not sure what. But I felt the need to scream building up inside me for no reason I could grasp, and I was reminded recently that just putting something out into the world is important. An outlet. Maybe if I just type I'll figure out what it is I need to be saying. Except that I should be asleep in ten minutes if I want to get my eight hours. It's hard to be a person sometimes. To manage all the obligations. And I don't even have that many, which is good. No spouse, no children, no dependents of any kind. I mean, I'm 38 and my parents are sending me a little money each month so I can get a degree in welding without suffering too much (so completely done with customer service). I'm in so many ways so lucky. I have a friend who just picked up the tab for our drinks, as he always does. It was $300 before tip. I mean, what the fuck. I have joy but also shame. Also capitalism sucks, but I love that I get to have a taste of opulence here and there. I have so many thoughts. But maybe I'll try this again tomorrow.