(no subject)
Hello, my dears, hello. It's been too long.
"There's so much to be excited for", I told one Ms. Cordelia, "and it will be remain this way for the rest of our lives." At this moment, I am most excited for Sunday. In two days, I am getting confirmed. I will make the first sacrament that is truly my own choice-- my personal decision to (I do hate this phrase, but how eloquent can one get when discussing such matters?) strengthen my relationship with God.
I fell out of touch with peace a week ago-- partially so, but noticeably so as well. Strangely, I don't think I'd ever been challenged on the clash between my sexual identity and my religion before that Tuesday. This boy that I have Women's Lit with nearly crushed me. Funny... we'd discussed the matter of my Catholicism/lesbianism and love for Cordelia before. I don't believe he meant to hurt me, but his choice of words was as derogatory as one can get without name-calling. Anyway, I was very upset. And though I knew that this boy did not know what he was talking about, and that my peace with God should be far stronger than some non-committal comments (from a boy that just doesn't like Christians to begin with), I felt that God had left me. My doubts were crushing. My confirmation no longer seemed special.
My sense of peace began to reestablish itself over the course of the week. There were several reasons or this, but I will only highlight one tonight (Hannah is being a real pain about getting on the computer): Cordelia is coming to it! Such a special day for me, and such an important event in my life... I just wanted her to be there. Come to find out, she had wanted the same thing. (This means, of course, that my day of confirmation will be coupled with one of the rare times Cordelia and I get to spend together!)
Sunday is going to be amazing.
"There's so much to be excited for", I told one Ms. Cordelia, "and it will be remain this way for the rest of our lives." At this moment, I am most excited for Sunday. In two days, I am getting confirmed. I will make the first sacrament that is truly my own choice-- my personal decision to (I do hate this phrase, but how eloquent can one get when discussing such matters?) strengthen my relationship with God.
I fell out of touch with peace a week ago-- partially so, but noticeably so as well. Strangely, I don't think I'd ever been challenged on the clash between my sexual identity and my religion before that Tuesday. This boy that I have Women's Lit with nearly crushed me. Funny... we'd discussed the matter of my Catholicism/lesbianism and love for Cordelia before. I don't believe he meant to hurt me, but his choice of words was as derogatory as one can get without name-calling. Anyway, I was very upset. And though I knew that this boy did not know what he was talking about, and that my peace with God should be far stronger than some non-committal comments (from a boy that just doesn't like Christians to begin with), I felt that God had left me. My doubts were crushing. My confirmation no longer seemed special.
My sense of peace began to reestablish itself over the course of the week. There were several reasons or this, but I will only highlight one tonight (Hannah is being a real pain about getting on the computer): Cordelia is coming to it! Such a special day for me, and such an important event in my life... I just wanted her to be there. Come to find out, she had wanted the same thing. (This means, of course, that my day of confirmation will be coupled with one of the rare times Cordelia and I get to spend together!)
Sunday is going to be amazing.