(no subject)

Aug 25, 2014 01:47

i actually don't think i've been living for a while, it's been just hanging on, surviving. my mind hasn't been fully functioning for the last few months, only has been getting me to work, back home. i can't even muster up the energy to plan out things for church. well, it's more like i don't see myself being able to succeed in anything anyway so why am i trying. slippy slope, i know. it'll become a huge problem soon. well, that soon is now though. isn't it? soon is always the new now, you tell yourself it'll happen soon, but it's in reality happening now. so where am i right now?

it's no news that i gag when i see people being lovey dovey, but i'm starting to wonder if it's cause i get too jealous of them that i can't stand it. i know it's extremely impossible for it to happen to me, so maybe that's a natural self defense thing. i've thought about unfollowing those that are exhibiting such behaviours on facebook, but then, what would i be left with on my page? most likely nothing especially since i only really follow 25% of the ppl on my list now.

is it easier to walk into oncoming traffic or into the sea from a cliff?

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