jan14 102
How many people am I bothering by posting this up. You're reading this when I'm most certain you have something better to do than to feel sorry for me. For such non issues.
Am I holding my own life back, or are the actions that I take holding my life back. Since I started to work, I've never really had a clear weekend off. Did I do that to myself? Maybe I should have complain like one of my current co-supervisors. She complained to the manager and instead of working Fri to Mon, her schedule got changed so she only has to work one weekend day now. Why didn't I do that? Oh right, I gave up after a while, knowing that I wouldn't be able to have a normal life anyway. And then I resorted to work as my drug, I guess. Working the flip flop shifts to a total of like 50 something hours a week at one time. All for what? Just so I can escape the pain of remembering I can't hold a real social life, can't act normally. Might as well just work it all instead of having too much time at home doing nothing, thinking why I don't advance anywhere.
Expressing feelings in person, that's like my weakest point. i can yell and be pissed at people, but somehow, i don't have the happy gene. or more like i can't let people know how i feel about them sometimes. maybe cause i don't want to deal with the aftermath, so i don't tell people things. or maybe it would just go completely opposite of what i'd expect.
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Am I holding my own life back, or are the actions that I take holding my life back. Since I started to work, I've never really had a clear weekend off. Did I do that to myself? Maybe I should have complain like one of my current co-supervisors. She complained to the manager and instead of working Fri to Mon, her schedule got changed so she only has to work one weekend day now. Why didn't I do that? Oh right, I gave up after a while, knowing that I wouldn't be able to have a normal life anyway. And then I resorted to work as my drug, I guess. Working the flip flop shifts to a total of like 50 something hours a week at one time. All for what? Just so I can escape the pain of remembering I can't hold a real social life, can't act normally. Might as well just work it all instead of having too much time at home doing nothing, thinking why I don't advance anywhere.
Expressing feelings in person, that's like my weakest point. i can yell and be pissed at people, but somehow, i don't have the happy gene. or more like i can't let people know how i feel about them sometimes. maybe cause i don't want to deal with the aftermath, so i don't tell people things. or maybe it would just go completely opposite of what i'd expect.
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