Fear.
In the year 2000, my family buried a time capsule beneath a tree in our front yard. We dug it up on New Years Day this year, although to some dismay, as a root had grown through the box and most of the contents were ruined. Mom wants to do another one this year, to be buried on Mothers Day.
I have to admit, I'm very apprehensive of this, for a few reasons. Just thinking of ten years from now starts my knees shaking. I'll be almost 37 then, which in itself is something to fear. What if I am as dissatisfied with my life then as I am now? What if opening this time capsule just fills me with the disappointment of things that didn't materialize in my adult life? I did luck out with this last one, knowing there was a letter that contained my lifes goals and that I hadn't accomplished a one... it was so water damaged it was illegible. There's probably a good analogy to be found there.
Anyway, what scares me more is the thought of opening this without both of my parents. As old as I'll be, Dad will be 70 and Mom will be 65. What if I lose one, or God forbid, both of them in the next decade?
What if they've sold the house and we can't even dig up the time capsule? I don't ever want to not have that house to return to. But as Dad mentioned the last time I was home, as they get older, it's a lot of land to take care of.
The last time we did a time capsule, I was 16. I had my entire life ahead of me. Looking back, the last decade was more or less wasted opportunities. I don't know if I can live with myself if I don't make something of myself in the next ten years.
All of this, I don't know, makes my stomach turn. But it will make Mom happy so I'm scrounging together the items that best represent me in 2010. Whatever that means. I suppose all we can do is hope for a better tomorrow.
Or as Frankie said, it won't matter anyway since the "world is going to end in 2012." You can't live your life thinking that. Well, you'd probably have a lot of good times if you did, but the resulting debt that would occur if humankind perseveres is not a risk I'm willing to take.
I have to admit, I'm very apprehensive of this, for a few reasons. Just thinking of ten years from now starts my knees shaking. I'll be almost 37 then, which in itself is something to fear. What if I am as dissatisfied with my life then as I am now? What if opening this time capsule just fills me with the disappointment of things that didn't materialize in my adult life? I did luck out with this last one, knowing there was a letter that contained my lifes goals and that I hadn't accomplished a one... it was so water damaged it was illegible. There's probably a good analogy to be found there.
Anyway, what scares me more is the thought of opening this without both of my parents. As old as I'll be, Dad will be 70 and Mom will be 65. What if I lose one, or God forbid, both of them in the next decade?
What if they've sold the house and we can't even dig up the time capsule? I don't ever want to not have that house to return to. But as Dad mentioned the last time I was home, as they get older, it's a lot of land to take care of.
The last time we did a time capsule, I was 16. I had my entire life ahead of me. Looking back, the last decade was more or less wasted opportunities. I don't know if I can live with myself if I don't make something of myself in the next ten years.
All of this, I don't know, makes my stomach turn. But it will make Mom happy so I'm scrounging together the items that best represent me in 2010. Whatever that means. I suppose all we can do is hope for a better tomorrow.
Or as Frankie said, it won't matter anyway since the "world is going to end in 2012." You can't live your life thinking that. Well, you'd probably have a lot of good times if you did, but the resulting debt that would occur if humankind perseveres is not a risk I'm willing to take.