*pokes God*
Dear God,
If you do exist (hahaha) why are you so bastardly and mean?
Confused
Dear Confused,
I'm God and I do exist. I am not mean.
God
Dear God,
You ARE mean and I HATE you sometimes because you're SO mean. I think that Satan is nicer than you by thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much and more!
Angry
Dear Angry,
There's no reason to be angry. I am NOT mean.
God
Dear God,
Yesterday my cat was run over. Where were you? That was MEAN of you to let that poor innocent cat be killed.
Sad
Dear Sad,
I'm very sorry about your cat. I do not have much say over life and death. I just sit here and eat Cheetos.
God
Dear God,
You suck.
Kiss My Balls
Dear Kiss My Balls,
I will do no such thing.
God
Dear God,
Why do you exist?
Wondering
Dear Wondering,
I don't exist.
God
Dear God,
But you said you did...
Confused
Dear Confused,
LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!
G0d
Dear Confused,
Please ignore that previous letter, Satan came over for a visit and messed with my work.
God
Dear God... and Satan,
You can both go away and never come back.
Angry Child
Dear Angry Child,
I am Satan. God doesn't love you. Come to the Dark Side and be a Happy Evil Child instead.
Satan
Dear Satan,
OK!
Happy Evil Child
Dear Happy Evil Child,
Come back to the Light Dear Child.
God
Dear God,
Fuck you!
Happy Evil Child
Dear God,
Why am I writing this?
Bleh
Dear Bleh,
You're just majorly confused, I'm the UPS man, not God.
UPS Man
Dear God,
Do you fuck Satan?
Heehee
Dear Heehee,
Yes.
Satan
Dear God,
You're still being mean.
Confused
Dear Confused,
So what? I can do whatever I want. Get over it already!
God
Dear God,
I'm so confused.
Confused.
Dear Confused,
Satan is coming to take to hell so that you'll leave me the fuck alone.
God
Dear God,
What? I'm Satan's son you dumbass!
No Longer Confused
Dear No Longer Confused,
That is good! Now GO HOME AND DON'T COME BACK!
God
PS- Son, get your ass back here, your mother wants you.
Dear God,
I just felt like writing "Dear God" twice.
X
Dear X,
Thank you.
God
Dear God,
If you reply to this the world will end and swallows fly with coconuts.
Haha
Dear Ha-
If you do exist (hahaha) why are you so bastardly and mean?
Confused
Dear Confused,
I'm God and I do exist. I am not mean.
God
Dear God,
You ARE mean and I HATE you sometimes because you're SO mean. I think that Satan is nicer than you by thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much and more!
Angry
Dear Angry,
There's no reason to be angry. I am NOT mean.
God
Dear God,
Yesterday my cat was run over. Where were you? That was MEAN of you to let that poor innocent cat be killed.
Sad
Dear Sad,
I'm very sorry about your cat. I do not have much say over life and death. I just sit here and eat Cheetos.
God
Dear God,
You suck.
Kiss My Balls
Dear Kiss My Balls,
I will do no such thing.
God
Dear God,
Why do you exist?
Wondering
Dear Wondering,
I don't exist.
God
Dear God,
But you said you did...
Confused
Dear Confused,
LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!
G0d
Dear Confused,
Please ignore that previous letter, Satan came over for a visit and messed with my work.
God
Dear God... and Satan,
You can both go away and never come back.
Angry Child
Dear Angry Child,
I am Satan. God doesn't love you. Come to the Dark Side and be a Happy Evil Child instead.
Satan
Dear Satan,
OK!
Happy Evil Child
Dear Happy Evil Child,
Come back to the Light Dear Child.
God
Dear God,
Fuck you!
Happy Evil Child
Dear God,
Why am I writing this?
Bleh
Dear Bleh,
You're just majorly confused, I'm the UPS man, not God.
UPS Man
Dear God,
Do you fuck Satan?
Heehee
Dear Heehee,
Yes.
Satan
Dear God,
You're still being mean.
Confused
Dear Confused,
So what? I can do whatever I want. Get over it already!
God
Dear God,
I'm so confused.
Confused.
Dear Confused,
Satan is coming to take to hell so that you'll leave me the fuck alone.
God
Dear God,
What? I'm Satan's son you dumbass!
No Longer Confused
Dear No Longer Confused,
That is good! Now GO HOME AND DON'T COME BACK!
God
PS- Son, get your ass back here, your mother wants you.
Dear God,
I just felt like writing "Dear God" twice.
X
Dear X,
Thank you.
God
Dear God,
If you reply to this the world will end and swallows fly with coconuts.
Haha
Dear Ha-