Brain... Spazes?
Heh.. Brain Droppings was used, so ... there you have it.
I need to get a few lists together for Liz's wedding stuff and personal things that need doing.
On disc 4 of 6 of Templar Legacy by Steve Berry.
Thank you for the post card, mummm! :)
FIL called today. Long talk.
Some silliness following cut!
WEDDING NIGHT
Fred and Mary got married but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's Mom and Dad's for their first night together.
In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom If Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, "No"
Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
She replies, "No."
Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
His mom says, "No."
He asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Ok, now tell me what you think?"
He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue." To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students... here is something to make you chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was
"DON'T ! "
"Don't what ? " Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit ?
We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit! "
"No Way ! "
"Yes way ! "
"Do NOT eat the fruit ! " said God.
"Why ? "
"Because I am your Father and I said so ! "
God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.
A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit!" God asked?
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you? " Said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it ! "
Adam said. "Did not ! "
"Did too ! "
"DID NOT ! " Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY !
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you ?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT !
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY:
Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.
AND FINALLY: IF YOU ! HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!
Quick, send this on to ten people within the next five minutes.
Nothing will happen if you don't, but if you do, ten people will be laughing..