smooth-skinned
If something bothers you but it seems that everyone else is oblivious to either the thing that bothers you or the fact that you're bothered, does that make it less real?
Lately I've been struggling with feeling unrecognized and unseen. I remember in the movie Titanic, Rose tells Jack that sometimes she feels like she's in a crowded room with hundreds of people, all of whom claim to know and love her, and she's screaming at the top of her lungs as her supposed friends and family pass by and overlook her pain. As an eleven-year-old (or some other age similarly naive and young) watching the movie, I remember thinking that she must be a drama queen. Surely people go through worse sufferings than just being ignored. Besides, she's about to marry a rich guy who just gifted her with a fat diamond and who is crazy about her (although, admittedly a bit crazy controlling).
But the unfortunate truth is that I now know exactly what she means and exactly the kind of pain she feels. I know Titanic isn't meant to be one of those movies that tells deep truths about humanity, but perhaps that feeling she expresses and my accompanying skepticism has clung to me throughout these years in my memory to prepare me for this moment as I sit here and declare, yes, to be ignored and to be invisible is a pain that is unique and agonizing. At this moment, it actually feels like one of the worst pains for the very reason that it leaves no scars.
Lately I've been struggling with feeling unrecognized and unseen. I remember in the movie Titanic, Rose tells Jack that sometimes she feels like she's in a crowded room with hundreds of people, all of whom claim to know and love her, and she's screaming at the top of her lungs as her supposed friends and family pass by and overlook her pain. As an eleven-year-old (or some other age similarly naive and young) watching the movie, I remember thinking that she must be a drama queen. Surely people go through worse sufferings than just being ignored. Besides, she's about to marry a rich guy who just gifted her with a fat diamond and who is crazy about her (although, admittedly a bit crazy controlling).
But the unfortunate truth is that I now know exactly what she means and exactly the kind of pain she feels. I know Titanic isn't meant to be one of those movies that tells deep truths about humanity, but perhaps that feeling she expresses and my accompanying skepticism has clung to me throughout these years in my memory to prepare me for this moment as I sit here and declare, yes, to be ignored and to be invisible is a pain that is unique and agonizing. At this moment, it actually feels like one of the worst pains for the very reason that it leaves no scars.