I will get there eventually...
Well, It seems that the subject matter is my favourite saying right now...
First starting with this journal...I have been really rubbish in doing this one simple thing that will probably help me to remember things I have forgotten so my mid-year resolution is to post as often as I can...I will get there eventually!
Secondly, since my last post...*cough* ...2years ago....there has been a lot of change in my life. I'm single, still in the same job but working towards being one of those managers that I used to hate (with still no shot at ever putting my degree to good use) and I have moved house twice!
So the single part...I got to the point where life was becoming to complicated to carry on as we were...we tried to fix things but something kept telling me I needed to let go, that I needed the space...so after being dumped then getting back together I finally ended it knowing full well the consequence's I would face...losing friends, my home, and the one person I thought I could count on...this last 6weeks has been filled with some really depressing moments...I wont lie...I put on a great game face and its difficult but what isn't...the first few weeks were difficult...constant arguing and sniping...resulting in our mutual friends not speaking to me as to not upset her...that was the loneliest I think I've ever felt...and yes although we are now on talking terms I still feel I need permission to see our friends ...how pathetic?!...in my new flat I still feel alone a lot of the time even with 2 house mates...I'm not afraid to admit it but it means I've tried to spend as much time out as possible and even the I feel like I'm watching myself and I feel like a shell...how ridiculous does that sound huh? that id be surrounded by people and feel this way...anyway enough of that depressing stuff...I'll get there eventually...
The job...eugh...well I think I've lost all hope of finding something creative to do...to the point where I'm almost at the point of becoming a manager for the monster corporation that is Tesco...It's not so bad I guess being that high up in a job that I'm okay with...its not as bad as two years ago when lets face it I had no hope..or so I thought of getting out of the dreaded kitchen...but now I manage the front service desk and checkout department with 4 others...and yes my manager can be an ass and yes it can get me down but all I can think is one day I'm going to be twice the manager you are...mainly because I have people skill and my staff have faith it me...I think I've gained a lot of respect being approachable and friendly and I know I'm not there to make friends but how else am I going to gain anything from my team if I cant do the little things that make people enjoy their days a little more...(because lets face it after scanning your 100th bottle of cheap cider whilst being pretty sure the drunkard handing you the pennies to pay for has sneezed over it or hasn't washed in a week)...well the jobs not exactly thrilling!...so hopefully not long now and ill have my own set of fresh faces to challenge and push for the better...I'll get there eventually...lol
Also in other news my friend Jennie recently had a baby girl called Evie and she is adorable! Reilly is in primary school and playing big brother very well! bless him...