dreams that will explode. . .
Did you ever wake up one morning and realize that you don’t even recognize your own life? That the people that once were so important to you almost ceased to exist except in your memory? That you’re kissing a wonderful boy good-bye every day, that you didn’t even say hello to a few months ago? That your best friend of 10 years is in so deep over her head even you can’t bail her out of this one? That it’s almost time to start dorm room shopping?
Welcome to my world. It seems as though I blinked and everything changed. Not necessarily for the bad though. I mean, I’m happier then I’ve been in years. I got into a good college, I’m having a great time playing Winnifred at Feehan, I love my friends and Mike is the best thing that’s happened to me in a while.
But it’s odd in some ways. I almost feel like I’m living someone else’s life. Like, I don’t talk to Jay anymore but now Dan is one of my best friends. Actually, besides Dan and Nic I’ve practically fallen away from Mansfield completely. (Granted much of is due to the fact that the boys are at college but still.) My voice teacher recently informed me that I actually have a voice and should consider switching majors to musical theater. Even my Feehan friends have changed. And then there’s listening to Kate talk about her 23 year old BF while all I can picture is Kate in 4th grade giggling over Joey Spano. And of course, there’s Mike who has flipped my world upside down in 4 short weeks - and I’ve never been more scared and happy at the same time.
Everything is complete chaos and I’m just kinda along for the ride, which honestly is fine with me. I like life to keep me guessing. Today at the Madonna Manor where Jess W, Sharon F and I do our service internship we spoke with an elderly woman who asked us polite questions and we answered accordingly and smiled at her. When they visit was over and we were getting ready to leave we all wished her a good day. The woman replied simply “Thank you, girls. Enjoy your lives.” All three of us kinda stopped in our tracks and looked at each other. It was the strangest, most incredible feeling. She knew what she was talking about. She’s been around a lot longer then we have. So I’m going to follow her advice.
So here I am, 18 years old and straddling my life as I’ve known it and my life as I’ve yet to. Happy for now to be caught in the middle, but scared that I might fall through.
xoxoxoxoxoxo
- lee
Welcome to my world. It seems as though I blinked and everything changed. Not necessarily for the bad though. I mean, I’m happier then I’ve been in years. I got into a good college, I’m having a great time playing Winnifred at Feehan, I love my friends and Mike is the best thing that’s happened to me in a while.
But it’s odd in some ways. I almost feel like I’m living someone else’s life. Like, I don’t talk to Jay anymore but now Dan is one of my best friends. Actually, besides Dan and Nic I’ve practically fallen away from Mansfield completely. (Granted much of is due to the fact that the boys are at college but still.) My voice teacher recently informed me that I actually have a voice and should consider switching majors to musical theater. Even my Feehan friends have changed. And then there’s listening to Kate talk about her 23 year old BF while all I can picture is Kate in 4th grade giggling over Joey Spano. And of course, there’s Mike who has flipped my world upside down in 4 short weeks - and I’ve never been more scared and happy at the same time.
Everything is complete chaos and I’m just kinda along for the ride, which honestly is fine with me. I like life to keep me guessing. Today at the Madonna Manor where Jess W, Sharon F and I do our service internship we spoke with an elderly woman who asked us polite questions and we answered accordingly and smiled at her. When they visit was over and we were getting ready to leave we all wished her a good day. The woman replied simply “Thank you, girls. Enjoy your lives.” All three of us kinda stopped in our tracks and looked at each other. It was the strangest, most incredible feeling. She knew what she was talking about. She’s been around a lot longer then we have. So I’m going to follow her advice.
So here I am, 18 years old and straddling my life as I’ve known it and my life as I’ve yet to. Happy for now to be caught in the middle, but scared that I might fall through.
xoxoxoxoxoxo
- lee